Dad jokes - add yours

[gokangas]

Russian dolls are so full of themselves.

 

[gokangas]

Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop

 

[big_e]

A dad joke because it involves fathers.

Probably don't play this one to your kids, though....

 

[Bertie22]

 

[Bertie22]

Sister Maria-Josephine is highly intelligent.

She is known as "Nun the wiser."

 

[Samsquanch]

Back in the day, advertising copywriters knew how to sell a product...

 

[big_e]

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard....

 

[blackshadow]

I was arguing with a guy at a bar, he said he was a rockstar in the 80s.

I didn’t believe him but he was adamant…

 

[#23 Hill]

If anyone makes a loud noise by dropping something, particularly in a restaurant or shop, it is mandatory to say "Sack the juggler"

 

[chairo]

 

[big_e]

Look, this isn't a Dad joke at all but it's the place we come to for laughs. And I hope you get as much a kick out of this as I did.

 

[Samsquanch]

Happy St Patrick's day!

Spoiler

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[see see]

** At my boss's funeral kneeling and whispering at coffin **
Who's thinking outside the box now Gary?

 

[Rod Stroker]

I wanted my 40,000th post to be in a happy thread, so here it is!

 

[Rod Stroker]

So this dyslexic guy walks into a bra..

 

[Luke72]

How many dyslexics does it take to light a bulb put in?

 

[Rod Stroker]

A termite walk into a pub and asks "is the bar tender here?"

 

[Bertie22]

Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London. Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye. "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair".

Paddy said to his pal, "Mick look at the prices! We could buy a whole lot of dose and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.

Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay? Let me do all da talkin' 'cause if they hear our accents, they might think we're from Ireland and try to screw us. I'll put on my best English accent."

"Right y'are Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will. You do all da business" said Mick.

They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice, "Hello my good man. I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up me truck ready to load 'em on, so I will."

The owner of the shop said quietly, "You're from Ireland, aren't you?

"Well yes," said a surprised Paddy. "What gave it away?"

The owner replied, "This is a dry-cleaners."

 

[Bertie22]

Well oiled Paddy stumbles out of the pub and notices a motorist with car bonnet raised despondently peering at his engine. Paddy shuffles over and slurs, "Whatsh da pwoblem? The motorist gives a resigned look and utters, "Piston broke."

"Ah," says Paddy, "me too!"

 

[ferball]

Well oiled Paddy stumbles out of the pub and notices a motorist with car bonnet raised despondently peering at his engine. Paddy shuffles over and slurs, "Whatsh da pwoblem? The motorist gives a resigned look and utters, "Piston broke."

"Ah," says Paddy, "me too!"

Oldy but a goody.

First heard it in about grade four when a mate told the whole class at school once. It was very funny.

 

[Bertie22]

Oldy but a goody.

First heard it in about grade four when a mate told the whole class at school once. It was very funny.

Yes Ferbs, today is the 100th anniversary of the death of the creator of that joke.

 

[Orange Peanut]

 

[Orange Peanut]

Who built an aeroplane that couldn't fly?


The Wrong Brothers

 

[Lomas]

How do we know that Albert Einstein didn’t really exist?

He was a theoretical physicist