Dad jokes - add yours

[gokangas]

I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. No pun in 10 did.

 

[gokangas]

I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

 

[gokangas]

I hate Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?

 

[gokangas]

My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”.

 

[gokangas]

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.

 

[gokangas]

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.

 

[gokangas]

Why did the chicken go to the séance? To get to the other side.

 

[gokangas]

Don't invest in exit signs? They’re on the way out!

 

[gokangas]

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.

 

[gokangas]

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

 

[ferball]

Why do bee's have sticky hair?

They use honeycombs. (Technically that's a 7 year old joke but i'm stealing it.)

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[gokangas]

I just realised that if you sit for a crap at 11:59pm and you are still there 2 minutes later its the same 5hit, different day.

 

[Bertie22]

Getting married is the best thing I have ever done. Otherwise I could have gone through life without realising I had faults.

 

[Gimmeafree]

What happened to Winnie the Pooh when he died ? He became Winnie the dead sh*t

 

[Gimmeafree]

It would be a whole lot easier if the combined Mothers Day and Fathers Day. So happy Motherfuthers Day.

 

[Rod Stroker]

The Dad jokes thread on the Swans board must be really bad

 

[Gimmeafree]

The Dad jokes thread on the Swans board must be really bad

We don’t seem to have as good a sense of humour. Nor much to celebrate atm.

 

[Elroo]

What do you call a priest with a law degree?

Father in Law.

 

[Samsquanch]

It would be a whole lot easier if the combined Mothers Day and Fathers Day. So happy Motherfuthers Day.

Haven't you noticed, Mother's day falls exactly nine months after Father's day.

 

[krakouers]

 

[Bertie22]

 

[Bertie22]

 

[killtaker1993]

What do you call a naked blonde doing a handstand?

A brunette with bad breath