Dad jokes - add yours

[Samsquanch]

 

[kool kangas]

What do you call a priest who graduated from law school?

Father-in-Law

 

[MrsBlueSky]

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?
The man.

 

[archereleven]

Little Johnny walks up to his old man and asks, "Dad, what a vagina?

His old man grabs a playboy, opens the centrefold, and draws a black circle around it. "That's a vagina, mate."

Little Johnny then asks "Well, what's a campaigner then, Dad?

His old man replies, "Everything outside the circle, Son."

On SM-G991B using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Nate7]

What's the difference between a fridge and anal?

A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

 

[Samsquanch]

Keeping high standards...

 

[ferball]

Keeping high standards...


View attachment 2024681

Thru the crack in the car window on hot days.

 

[Hojuman]

 

[Samsquanch]

I don't really like twitter, especially after that Kornes business a few months back which I will not go into here, but fair dinkum, what is this shit with the most ridiculously named AI bot accounts - see examples below...

 

[ferball]

You're being followed by a miracle pfisterer!!!

****en run.

 

[tazaa]

View attachment 2029090

I don't really like twitter, especially after that Kornes business a few months back which I will not go into here, but fair dinkum, what is this shit with the most ridiculously named AI bot accounts - see examples below...

View attachment 2029092

Block those accounts.
They follow you and seem harmless but will later flag your account and target you for further spam.

 

[Madas]

How do non gender specific people commit murder ?

They / them

( not sure I told that right ?)

 

[Madas]

A cop knocked on my door.
I'm afraid your wife has been in a serious accident.
How is she, I asked.
Rather critical, he said.
Typical I said, whats she whinging about now?

I reckon you could put a spin on that one and change the punch line to

“ What , you too ?!”

 

[Samsquanch]

Block those accounts.
They follow you and seem harmless but will later flag your account and target you for further spam.

I block everything unless the account follows North or Footscray's finest.

 

[kool kangas]

 

[krakouers]

View attachment 2034155

 

[kool kangas]

I've developed an addiction to Brake Fluid.
I can stop whenever I want.

 

[kool kangas]

 

[gokangas]

I rear ended a car this morning. Out jumped a dwarf and ran back at me.
You ok, I asked.
No, he said. I'm not happy.
Ok, I said, then which one are you.

 

[krakouers]

koshari

 

[Bertie22]

At a wedding reception, the MC said to all married people,
"Please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth
living."

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

 

[Bertie22]

I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I
gave it to the charity shop next door.

They cleaned and pressed it
and put it in the window.

I bought it back for $15.

 

[Bertie22]

I met my wife at a singles' night.

I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

 

[Samsquanch]

I met my wife at a singles' night.

I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

 

[Samsquanch]