Mod. Notice Depressed? Anxious? Call Beyond Blue (1300 224636), Lifeline (131114), resources in OP

[PerfectFooty]

Invaluable thread.

Just to add my .2 cents, for anyone with depression, another factor to consider is being on the autism spectrum, especially Asperger’s. Depression as a comorbid factor is very common amongst Aspies, with high suicide ideation and suicide rate. Autism doesn’t cause depression per se, nor is it linked biologically, so managing and getting help for depression are the same, whether you’re on the spectrum or not.

Current estimates for autism prevalence are around 1 in 100 - but it’s more like 1 in 80 amongst males. But because widespread understanding and diagnosing of Asperger’s (for example) only started in the late 90’s, the majority of adults would probably have slipped through the net as kids, and if they’re getting by, will continue to slip through the net. Most adults on the spectrum are undiagnosed (or misdiagnosed).

Re Asperger’s and autism itself, unless you’ve really looked into it, it’s almost certainly not what you think. It isn’t just limited to the textbook symptoms around social issues, nor is there a single, typical, profile. It’s also not all negative.

There’s info on the net from reliable sources - and unreliable sources - as well as reputable online tests for Asperger’s, such as the RAADS 14 test and the Baron Cohen AQ test. (I wouldn’t bother with the Aspiequiz, it’s something else and not diagnostically reliable - FWIW). For general background, a great place to start is with Tony Atwood, pretty well the man who wrote the book on Asperger’s. Lots of great info and resources on his site.

To bring this back to footy (!) people with Asperger’s often have motor skill and co-ordination issues, albeit they can be fairly low level. As such, I doubt we’re going to see too many AFL footballers on the spectrum. On the other hand, there are people with Asperger’s playing team sports at a (very) high level. No two people with Asperger’s are the same.

This is a very good post. This really put me in the right direction, after years of hiding it and not believing it as a child this was a post i needed to hear. Growing up i was told i had it but i didn't want people to think different of me so i hid it from everybody, then maturing through high school i convinced myself that i was 'cured' but this post really inspired me to learn more about myself and that some problems the past have perhaps stemmed from this.

I love football, and like most people like me with often find something that allows us to escape, something that offers safety and feels relaxed, to normal people we probably seem obsessive as it is often one thing that is huge over anything else. To me this was football after rediscovering it, Football makes me happy and it helps me deal with things when i need to get away or escape. I'm obsessive, and people i know think i'm a very fanatic fan, i watch replays almost every night and during high school i watched some in free periods. people thought it was odd at school but it just turned into a joke and i was happy with that. but at home it's different, it's repetitive and i just use it all the time. Now understanding myself a bit more i don't put myself down for being so obsessive. At times though it does hurt having recently given up on the dream of playing the game that i love, i couldn't handle the socialising (socialising for me can exhaust me sometimes i need a break) or the mental edge to play it even though physically i'd be fine, and that was sort of a let down after getting really good encouragement on here

I had depression bad in 2014 and now i think i finally begin to understand why. That's not to say i don't live without it anymore i still get pretty depressed at times and it can really happen anytime. I'm probably spilling my guts more than i should, but 2014 i fell in love, problem was she never loved me back, but i can't read the signs and so i persisted. I became obsessive on this, i analyzed my every move and it dominated my mind day and night, i stayed up nights worrying what she thought of me, or what i did wrong today, or what i could do tomorrow. I did come clean about and we agreed to be friends but that never worked, and i still had the hope that we'd end up together. But one day i made a joke, i didn't think it was offensive and some friends at the time didn't either but she did and she basically said i was downright offensive and that we are no longer friends. I up until this point had never wronged anyone or lost a friend so that already hurt, but this was awful, it shut me down and i had a complete break down. For a few weeks i was a vegetable. although leading up too it i was already doing very poorly. I'd sit in my room during the day with the curtains drawn and lights off only going out to eat food and thinking of how the world would be better without me. When i broke down i just did nothing, everything stopped. i got brought home and just lay in my bed for days not speaking to anyone. All while i was recovering class work built up, once i felt a little better it hit me hard and i basically lost it again and was never able to retake my place at uni failing my final exams.

So i dropped out, i did a fun tafe course and for the first time last year signed up as a member and started going to games with friends. Life improved although i again still felt depressed at times and just on occasions stayed up nights listening to sad music. Even it Tafe when i was happier i was slower than my classmates or couldn't comprehend some things and that infuriated at myself and made me angry as well as sad. To be honest the last couple of months haven't been that flash either despite being far from the severity of 2014.

Sorry i sort of lost where i was going with this post

 

[Ando727]

This is a very good post. This really put me in the right direction, after years of hiding it and not believing it as a child this was a post i needed to hear. Growing up i was told i had it but i didn't want people to think different of me so i hid it from everybody, then maturing through high school i convinced myself that i was 'cured' but this post really inspired me to learn more about myself and that some problems the past have perhaps stemmed from this.

I love football, and like most people like me with often find something that allows us to escape, something that offers safety and feels relaxed, to normal people we probably seem obsessive as it is often one thing that is huge over anything else. To me this was football after rediscovering it, Football makes me happy and it helps me deal with things when i need to get away or escape. I'm obsessive, and people i know think i'm a very fanatic fan, i watch replays almost every night and during high school i watched some in free periods. people thought it was odd at school but it just turned into a joke and i was happy with that. but at home it's different, it's repetitive and i just use it all the time. Now understanding myself a bit more i don't put myself down for being so obsessive. At times though it does hurt having recently given up on the dream of playing the game that i love, i couldn't handle the socialising (socialising for me can exhaust me sometimes i need a break) or the mental edge to play it even though physically i'd be fine, and that was sort of a let down after getting really good encouragement on here

I had depression bad in 2014 and now i think i finally begin to understand why. That's not to say i don't live without it anymore i still get pretty depressed at times and it can really happen anytime. I'm probably spilling my guts more than i should, but 2014 i fell in love, problem was she never loved me back, but i can't read the signs and so i persisted. I became obsessive on this, i analyzed my every move and it dominated my mind day and night, i stayed up nights worrying what she thought of me, or what i did wrong today, or what i could do tomorrow. I did come clean about and we agreed to be friends but that never worked, and i still had the hope that we'd end up together. But one day i made a joke, i didn't think it was offensive and some friends at the time didn't either but she did and she basically said i was downright offensive and that we are no longer friends. I up until this point had never wronged anyone or lost a friend so that already hurt, but this was awful, it shut me down and i had a complete break down. For a few weeks i was a vegetable. although leading up too it i was already doing very poorly. I'd sit in my room during the day with the curtains drawn and lights off only going out to eat food and thinking of how the world would be better without me. When i broke down i just did nothing, everything stopped. i got brought home and just lay in my bed for days not speaking to anyone. All while i was recovering class work built up, once i felt a little better it hit me hard and i basically lost it again and was never able to retake my place at uni failing my final exams.

So i dropped out, i did a fun tafe course and for the first time last year signed up as a member and started going to games with friends. Life improved although i again still felt depressed at times and just on occasions stayed up nights listening to sad music. Even it Tafe when i was happier i was slower than my classmates or couldn't comprehend some things and that infuriated at myself and made me angry as well as sad. To be honest the last couple of months haven't been that flash either despite being far from the severity of 2014.

Sorry i sort of lost where i was going with this post

Don't worry, mate. A few of us have revealed a bit in this thread. Nobody knows who we are. It's no big deal. Good on you for facing up to your issues and being so frank about them. I always say Demons fans have a permanent excuse for being depressed sometimes - the miracle is when they aren't!

So would you say the hardest thing about having Asperger's is not the obsessive/repetitive behaviour, but the difficulty with socialising? Reading/understanding people's subtle signals etc?

 

[PerfectFooty]

Don't worry, mate. A few of us have revealed a bit in this thread. Nobody knows who we are. It's no big deal. Good on you for facing up to your issues and being so frank about them. I always say Demons fans have a permanent excuse for being depressed sometimes - the miracle is when they aren't!

So would you say the hardest thing about having Asperger's is not the obsessive/repetitive behaviour, but the difficulty with socialising? Reading/understanding people's subtle signals etc?

Yeah, socialising can be stressful and exhausting at times, although i'm sure some people with Aspergers can handle it fine. I think i do an okay job of interpreting stuff most of the time, but it's very easy to not get something. Can easily miss some body language or a facial expression without noticing, and sometimes when you do notice you don't understand and try to figure it out. It's not just completely reading it either at times i've made the wrong signal. Basically for me it's just trying to act or display oneself as i think a person without Aspergers would. I do have a good group of friends though thanks to some late socialising in year 12, but i never go outside of that circle. Now that i think about it i've only made friends where i've been studying, not outside of that

 

[_Christoh_]

Yeah, socialising can be stressful and exhausting at times, although i'm sure some people with Aspergers can handle it fine. I think i do an okay job of interpreting stuff most of the time, but it's very easy to not get something. Can easily miss some body language or a facial expression without noticing, and sometimes when you do notice you don't understand and try to figure it out. It's not just completely reading it either at times i've made the wrong signal. Basically for me it's just trying to act or display oneself as i think a person without Aspergers would. I do have a good group of friends though thanks to some late socialising in year 12, but i never go outside of that circle. Now that i think about it i've only made friends where i've been studying, not outside of that

While I know a little about Aspergers what you describe is in some ways similar to what I experience as someone who is hard of hearing. One on one in a quiet place I am fine but in a pub or somewhere with background noise I'm hopeless. It can be difficult to be involved in conversations that bounce around a table. I just straight up tell people that I'm deaf and could they repeat what they said. Otherwise what's the point of socialising. It doesn't seem to be an issue with people as long as they get a deaf joke in and I laugh at it. After that they adapt and include me. It's who I am, I can't do much about it and if someone is going to be my friend they have to understand and accept that's only one part of who I am. I'm sure my constant asking of people to repeat themselves might get on some peoples nerves but hey, what else can am I going to do? Sit like a spud. More often than not people are fine with it.

Informing people without apologising for who I am seems to help people understand me better. Plenty of times I've mis-heard someone and given a response that didn't match what they actually said. If they already know I'm mostly deaf it usually ends up in a bit of a laugh that I don't feel is all at my expense. Never has it caused an awkward situation.

And no replies of 'What?' you funny bastards lol

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Monday cannot come fast enough.
Just more and more shit is going wrong.

 

[Collins-Langford-Ayres]

What shits me is you are having a fun day and then can feel yourself plummeting for no real reason.

Next thing you are hanging in the abyss and life is really f_ _ _ ed.

 

[javaguice]

Good thread. Props to BF.

all the best to everyone in the thread. Just having somewhere to spill is good therapy in itself.

 

[javaguice]

Monday cannot come fast enough.
Just more and more shit is going wrong.

Hang in there bro

 

[Hobbes]

What shits me is you are having a fun day and then can feel yourself plummeting for no real reason.

Next thing you are hanging in the abyss and life is really f_ _ _ ed.

That's the nature of depression. It doesn't make sense. It's not like feeling sad when you really have things to feel sad about, which can happen to anybody. I guess the best thing is people who understand, whether it's close friends or professionals.

 

[Matthew_Lloyd]

Finally decided to get some help after 4 years of worthlessness, up and down moods, and genuinely wishing I wasn't alive. Always felt alone, anxiety about the future, and thought that no one would give a **** if I died. It got so bad that I barely studied at all for my year 12 exams in 2012 and dropped 15kg in the process. Then in 2014, my weight ballooned up to 100kg, before I started taking my health more seriously.

Even though it has been one session so far, it felt good to let it all out to someone, all of my problems and worries. To the men in here struggling with depression, just remember that there is always help there if you need it and that there IS someone out there who will listen to you.

 

[telsor]

Finally decided to get some help after 4 years of worthlessness, up and down moods, and genuinely wishing I wasn't alive. Always felt alone, anxiety about the future, and thought that no one would give a **** if I died. It got so bad that I barely studied at all for my year 12 exams in 2012 and dropped 15kg in the process. Then in 2014, my weight ballooned up to 100kg, before I started taking my health more seriously.

Even though it has been one session so far, it felt good to let it all out to someone, all of my problems and worries. To the men in here struggling with depression, just remember that there is always help there if you need it and that there IS someone out there who will listen to you.

You've taken a big step, good luck!

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Saw my doctor today, he had already been briefed on my state by my mum who is a family friend of his, but still made me go through everything that had happened with him.

Was perfectly fine explaining about my anxiety and feeling worthless etc, but as soon as he turned the convo and asked how things were on a relationship level I broke down.

Explaining to him about how my dreams are haunting me and I'm not waking up feeling refreshed at all i.e:
My dream last night, was in my bed and I was cuddling (My now ex) and I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. When I got back I got back in and cuddled her again but she moved away a bit like in our last month together. Went to sleep and woke in the morning all foggy and she wasn't next to me. Rolled over all confused and she was gone. Someone told me she had just gone home early so I started texting her and while I was doing that my alarm went off and I woke up and realised the reality and it killed me inside big time.

He didn't diagnose me with depression, however says its a by product of my social anxiety/anxiety and put it down as an adjustment anxiety disorder.

Has scheduled another appt for next week as a follow up but has put me on a prescription of Fluvoxamine 100mg (a higher dose than normal) as a sedative of a night, the medication however is also used to treat Social Anxiety and Depression so I think he chose that medication specifically.

 

[Simbatheking21]

Great thread this!!!

My father killed himself 5 years ago due to him being depressed and a homosexual. And it still kills me inside. I haven't really brought myself to talk about it but seeing some of the stories on here it makes me feel that I am not alone.

Hopefully one day I can share my issues on here

All the best to everyone on here

 

[raskolnikov]

Anybody else ever felt awful after moving back home? I'm back in Melbourne for money reasons after living in Queensland since I was 17. I miss my friends, I miss my life, I miss having things to do, and I miss working full time!

Don't get me wrong, my family are lovely, but they're not particularly accepting of my personality, and they negatively compare me to my more 'conventional' younger brother. Not to mention that when I was out of home I did all my chores rather than having to do my siblings as well! And I barely have the opportunity to cook any more...I'm stifled by my family, and I have no escape because I have no friends here and I don't fit in here in Melbourne.

It's so hard to meet people as well. I wouldn't know where to start. I am so lonely, the only thing keeping me going is the thought of saving enough money to buy a home and move to Geelong.

I guess life is what you make of it, but I don't think I could possibly make a go of life here in Melbourne. I'm so miserable, just putting that out there. I want to go back, but I need to find work.

I'll swap you places. I'm in Queensland and want to go back to Melbourne.

I don't mind life in Queensland. The weather is great. I have a great job and a great partner but my heart is in Melbourne. All of my friends are there and seeing them post things on Facebook that are happening there does get me down a bit.

 

[SpongeBob 12]

I'll swap you places. I'm in Queensland and want to go back to Melbourne.

I don't mind life in Queensland. The weather is great. I have a great job and a great partner but my heart is in Melbourne. All of my friends are there and seeing them post things on Facebook that are happening there does get me down a bit.

Do what you need to do to make you happier

 

[Ando727]

Saw my doctor today, he had already been briefed on my state by my mum who is a family friend of his, but still made me go through everything that had happened with him.

Was perfectly fine explaining about my anxiety and feeling worthless etc, but as soon as he turned the convo and asked how things were on a relationship level I broke down.

Explaining to him about how my dreams are haunting me and I'm not waking up feeling refreshed at all i.e:
My dream last night, was in my bed and I was cuddling (My now ex) and I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. When I got back I got back in and cuddled her again but she moved away a bit like in our last month together. Went to sleep and woke in the morning all foggy and she wasn't next to me. Rolled over all confused and she was gone. Someone told me she had just gone home early so I started texting her and while I was doing that my alarm went off and I woke up and realised the reality and it killed me inside big time.

He didn't diagnose me with depression, however says its a by product of my social anxiety/anxiety and put it down as an adjustment anxiety disorder.

Has scheduled another appt for next week as a follow up but has put me on a prescription of Fluvoxamine 100mg (a higher dose than normal) as a sedative of a night, the medication however is also used to treat Social Anxiety and Depression so I think he chose that medication specifically.

No disrespect, but I hope your doctor is going to write you up a mental health plan and get you some sessions with a registered psychologist? This stuff is well beyond the purview of a GP. It's not something a GP should try to treat with just medication either. Seriously, go back and ask for a mental health plan and get your sessions - they are free or close to free, depending on who you see. And you'll get much better insight into the problem and how to handle it.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

No disrespect, but I hope your doctor is going to write you up a mental health plan and get you some sessions with a registered psychologist? This stuff is well beyond the purview of a GP. It's not something a GP should try to treat with just medication either. Seriously, go back and ask for a mental health plan and get your sessions - they are free or close to free, depending on who you see. And you'll get much better insight into the problem and how to handle it.

He's checking to see whether the issues being faced are situational with the recent crap going on in my life, trying to give me a week of uninterrupted sleep to see if it makes a difference and then review next Thursday regarding the next step.

Unfortunately the Fluvoxamine didn't make me tired like it was supposed to and didn't feel too much more refreshed this morning, will see how it goes.

 

[mxett]

He's checking to see whether the issues being faced are situational with the recent crap going on in my life, trying to give me a week of uninterrupted sleep to see if it makes a difference and then review next Thursday regarding the next step.

Unfortunately the Fluvoxamine didn't make me tired like it was supposed to and didn't feel too much more refreshed this morning, will see how it goes.

I agree with Ando. Get your GP to set up a mental healthcare plan so you can see a psychologist about strategies to deal with your anxiety. They are at least as effective as medication but can be a better long term solution.

However I agree that sleep is an important part of the equation, so the GP should be able to help there. The psychologist may be able to help with that too.

One important thing is to try and remain patient. I know it can be frustrating heading in to the unknown but progress can take time. But its worth it in the end

 

[DarkPhoenix]

I think the worst thing is not knowing what to expect. The frustration of heading into the unknown as you put it.

It kind of feels like the medication is working in some way already (which apparently is rarish), a few instances today came across things regarding my ex that were pretty upsetting and started to get anxious, but felt like I hit a certain point where my brain was just like "Nah, not worth it" which a friend on the same medication said is exactly how he gets.

But unsure if its the medication or whether I'm just starting to accept things.

If it is the medication it kind of scares me the level at which my emotion was shut off when I reached that point, I don't want to come across as uncaring to people, it's one of my greatest personal attributes.

 

[mxett]

I think the worst thing is not knowing what to expect. The frustration of heading into the unknown as you put it.

It kind of feels like the medication is working in some way already (which apparently is rarish), a few instances today came across things regarding my ex that were pretty upsetting and started to get anxious, but felt like I hit a certain point where my brain was just like "Nah, not worth it" which a friend on the same medication said is exactly how he gets.

But unsure if its the medication or whether I'm just starting to accept things.

If it is the medication it kind of scares me the level at which my emotion was shut off when I reached that point, I don't want to come across as uncaring to people, it's one of my greatest personal attributes.

generally SSRIs (which is what youve been given) take 2-6 weeks to get to a level where they start to decrease symptoms of anxiety, so your attitude today was probably due to a small change in your mindset. This is where psychologists can really help so much. They teach you how to change the way you think and act about your situations, which is often the root cause of your anxiety, not the situation itself.

But in these weeks before the SSRI really starts to kick in try to be as kind to yourself as possible, and dont expect too much too fast. Speak to yourself like a best friend would. I know that might sound a little silly but negative and judgemental self talk can be very deflating, and you would be surprised how often we do it without realising it.

Take care and let us know how you get on, especially if you need some encouragement. Going through this time with support makes a huge difference, as it did for me.

ps dont worry about feeling like your mate, everyone reacts differently to SSRIs. You may find you feel much more engaged rather than the other way

 

[Long Live HFC]

it's also possible he had an atypical response to the medication. when first using SSRIs i had an immediate response (2-3 hours). was high as a kite. honestly reminded me of MDMA.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

it's also possible he had an atypical response to the medication. when first using SSRIs i had an immediate response (2-3 hours). was high as a kite. honestly reminded me of MDMA.

From what I read it's not unheard of to have an immediate reaction but im still skeptical as to whether it was the medication or the mindset.

However I did have a HUGE case of drymouth within an hour of taking it, so nice to see I got that side effect.

 

[Long Live HFC]

From what I read it's not unheard of to have an immediate reaction but im still skeptical as to whether it was the medication or the mindset.

could be either or both, really. i think the main thing is you're feeling better, and hopefully this continues. best of luck with your struggles, you've already taken some important steps.

 

[Richter]

I know I've just found a more comfortable dysfunction than what I left. But it's hard to go to a doctor and ask for help when the idea of it is so scary and when you're so bad at communicating what's going on in your brain. I wish GPs did online appointments.

Just quickly fyi and of all others interested. You CAN get an online GP appointment. Eg here...

www.gp2u.com.au

Trouble is that it is not Medicare rebated so there will be an out-of-pocket fee of up to $70. I don't know any of the GPs on there so have no idea of the quality. I think the main company is based in Hobart and the company itself is well respected.

If you live outside the main metro areas of the country then it is possible to be referred to a psychiatrist you can consult via Skype. Usually this will be bulk billed and as long as you have Skype you can access them. Again, at present, unfortunately if you live in the main metro areas then you can't claim a rebate for an appointment to see a shrink online.

See here for details... https://www.humanservices.gov.au/health-professionals/services/medicare/mbs-and-telehealth

To find a psychiatrist... try here...

https://www.ranzcp.org/Mental-health-advice/find-a-psychiatrist.aspx

To search by telehealth, click on advanced search > Practice details > Offers telepsychiatry

Other search options available too. Eg. if you want talking therapy - 'psychotherapy'...

advanced search > Practice details > Prepared to offer weekly sessions... psychotherapy

NB Psychiatrists who offer this can see people weekly (or more sometimes) without the max being 10 sessions like a psychologist on a mental health care plan. i.e. for all year and beyond if necessary.

 

[PerthBoy87]

I have just stepped into this thread and read a few of the comments. First of all can I say that it's sad to hear that some of our people on Bigfooty have mental health issues - this can't be a good thing at all and all I can say is that talking about things is very important and that can be easier said then done but as long as you have support mechanisms in place then I hope those people are on the right track to positive thinking

Secondly, mental health (no matter what form it comes in) can be a terrible thing and those people who suffer from it......it must be tough. I think it's important that we are a lot nicer to each other on here. At times I do get a little surprised with how we treat each other on here, lets all make an effort to stick by each other (no matter who we go for). I'd like to see opposition supporters just be nicer to each other, I'm sure if we all make the effort then this site would be a happier place.

We all love our footy, we all want our team to do well but sadly there will be teams who will go through tough times and the tough times can really affect those supporters........especially those supporters who have waited years and years to see their team win a Premiership. I used to get quite annoyed and sad when Richmond were not doing well, nowdays I still get annoyed but after a day I move on and look forward to the next week.

I can't imagine what it would be like for a footy supporter who suffers from for example anxiety and / or depression and then has to watch their beloved team play poorly, it must be really tough for those supporters. All I can say is that as long as there is support around then those sad days can become happy days.

I suggest that the mods of this site create a section on this board to allow opposition supporters get together and just talk about footy and the good times and the close games and the great goals and great marks. Just an idea to think about people.

But at the end of the day.....it's not about just footy, its about all of us being one, helping and supporting each other and making the most of the good times because all of us will go through rough trots. What is important is that we continue to support each other on this board, keep the talks up, keep the laughs going.......lets try and make Bigfooty a positive environment which will then make our life in general more enjoyable because I reckon one of the worst things that happens on this site is when supporters start to have a go at each other..........not good in my opinion.....lets treat each other with respect and lets enjoy each others company. I welcome ANY supporter from who supports any club to come by and send me a message if you want to have a chat and a laugh.

Lastly, lets get a hold on the bigger picture here............AFL is just a sport, we all love it very much but don't let it take over our lives, and that can be hard because we all love the sport and the big marks and the goals etc but sometimes the disappointment can be so much for a footy supporter that it can have a negative thinking on a supporter which isn't good. We should all enjoy life and we should all enjoy each others company. I'll never forget something that my cousin who played AFL once told me, he said: "There is more to life then footy" and I reckon he is spot on.

Cheers everyone and take care one and all.

PerthBoy87.