Health Depression

Perth gal

Premiership Player
Oct 19, 2015
4,474
3,986
AFL Club
West Coast
The last entire page or two has been the same style of issue explained in differing words. Everyone is discussing what id say is the primal instinct of community and a longing for it or a somewhat inability to understand how best to involve yourself in it. As much as its the same issue it gets born in many many different ways I must admit

I truly believe this is such a Australian problem. Our concept of community and inclusion is absolutely pitiful, bordering on disgusting. The conversation Shell had with her selfish friend is insanely common in Australia. Its a pathetic self involved horrible trait. If I was Shell the first thing id do is remove that friend and never think of them again. Self involved horrid person and there is zero need for anyone ever to have that type of person in ones life

A harsh thought but I tend to think in life in order to find something, we need to look in other places. Too many people want others to include them in a certain community whereas it might be best to search for a new and better one. Too many people will look for friendship or companionship in the same manner. A terrible person exits one life and the instinct is to do a like for like replacement almost. The best thing to do I think is to actually look in other areas and dont commend yourself to the same patterns in life. If you are seeking friendship and havnt found it with a certain type of individual, seek it out on a alternate fashion.

Things like social groups and clubs is a good place. A truly underrated thing is to find something you want to learn and or know, join a class or way to learn that thing or action. It is quite easy to make friends amongst a person who wants to learn something that you also want to learn. Other places id say is group therapy session as its also important to look for people with your life experience. Its so common to ask someone "Oh what do you like", and only operate around that whereas in life its arguably more important to find someone whose had your life experience and to live by each other in that sense.

A person like Shells friend will never understand Shell. We all know her type. The person whose greatest struggle is to buy the blue pants or the white pants and when confronted with a real issue will run and hide because they believe anyone whose not having a 100% A grade time is some form of potential anchor for them. The story will always be the same for this person. They will eventually run into a problem thats bigger then the color of pants, they will seek help and realise that as a result of helping no one themselves, no one wants to help them either. Shell is self aware enough to see that for sure, so also just walk away from it (sorry if that sounds harsh)

One last thing, A psychologist can help a bit but your decision making will always be your greatest friend in the world also so reflect on that each day and focus on it as well as the basic principles of psychology and happiness. Once you are happy with your decison making, its a huge stepping stone to being happy with yourself
Beautiful and perceptive. Thank you.
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

Premiership Player
Mar 19, 2020
3,288
6,863
AFL Club
West Coast
Tbh- I was that person several years ago to a friend of mine- I really cringe thinking back about it now. I made amends recently tho- reached out and apologised and we've caught up a couple times since. So Idk maybe its a bit of karma for me now, if you believe in that kind of stuff.


/as for the other mate. I deleted their mobile no. I won't be making an effort anymore. Will focus on (the few) people who actually want to see me. And go to more meet ups, and start some volunteer work soon.
Another thought also. Can I ask why you bought a present and the thought process behind it? Its a bit of a female thing to do but I’d really say it’s not worth doing. That person should want to see you because you asked to see them. No other reason is needed. I’d say it’s attaching a meaning to a meeting when the reason really is talking to you and that’s it.

A harsh thing also but also true. 80 percent of people are inherently sh*t. The concept of needing to dump 4 to find the 1 good is a normal human trait you should expect to occur. You are discussing it like it’s a odd thing to do when it’s actually very normal. Culling People isn’t a bad thing, it’s just a path to finding the best collection of individuals you want to be around and who want to be with you

If you are happy with your morals, your principles and your beliefs, then culling someone out can be easy when that person doesn’t match them so don’t sweat it when you do it. Do it like it’s nothing because it really is. If the person can’t contribute to your life and vice versa, they are not worth knowing so dont sweat it. Might sound easier said then done but confidence in your decision making will bring you to it being a easier path to take
 
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Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,924
8,709
AFL Club
Collingwood
Yeah trust me I dont buy ppl presents for them to like me or to hang out. If I buy something for ppl (which isnt often) it's because I want to.
That seemed like a nice jesture and if it was knocked back so be it.
It can be so easy to get disheartened and I have been lately myself.
I honestly don't know why things are the way they are. Depression happens not that a lot would understand.
All you can do is be your best self and who cares if people don't like it
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,924
8,709
AFL Club
Collingwood
I am starting to feel like I missed the boat.
I wanted to travel more get my mental health right and really love but same thing keeps happening I get stuck.
So whatever. Can't be bothered arguing or getting caught in a net
 

Catsnlakers

The World needs more Hank Moody’s.
Oct 2, 2016
5,690
7,369
AFL Club
Geelong
Other Teams
L.A Angels, Anaheim Ducks & M.Stars
Ive just started to see 2 psychologists. I really need lots of help.
I really hope things can get better for you, your honesty has been amazing in this thread....I’ve just finished my 10 extra ‘COVID’ sessions & I’m genuinely scared how I’ll go without seeing my psychologist weekly ( she’s now made it fortnightly ) because it’s out of pocket, the anxiety is starting already.
 

MartinPrince

Debutant
Nov 2, 2020
90
97
AFL Club
Melbourne
I'm thinking of doing Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) for depression, anxiety has anyone completed it?

Also, anyone here completed DBT? (Dialectical behavioural therapy) ?

Even though I have tried schema, done tons of psychotherapy, CBT, inpatient groups I seem to get nowhere with managing Borderline personality disorder and Avoidant personality disorder in fact people just seem to run away when i mention them.
 
Mar 25, 2021
188
218
East of the Sun, West of the Moon
AFL Club
Fremantle
I'm thinking of doing Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) for depression, anxiety has anyone completed it?
Never done it but have heard it can provide results. I got to the stage where ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) was considered.

I have no problem with ECT, it's not like the old days and movies like One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest. I know someone who has had it many times. At one stage they had to stop her sessions as it was making her too happy! It does cause memory problems though.

During the ECT discussion TMS was brought up as an alternative, it was only just available at the time. I'm at the stage where I'll try anything. I don't know anyone whose had it though. But it seems to provide no side affects. A change of meds has made me a bit better so it hasn't been discussed since.

I was told it was available through both the private and public health system. Obviously if you go public you'll have to wait to get in.
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,924
8,709
AFL Club
Collingwood
Never done it but have heard it can provide results. I got to the stage where ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) was considered.

I have no problem with ECT, it's not like the old days and movies like One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest. I know someone who has had it many times. At one stage they had to stop her sessions as it was making her too happy! It does cause memory problems though.

During the ECT discussion TMS was brought up as an alternative, it was only just available at the time. I'm at the stage where I'll try anything. I don't know anyone whose had it though. But it seems to provide no side affects. A change of meds has made me a bit better so it hasn't been discussed since.

I was told it was available through both the private and public health system. Obviously if you go public you'll have to wait to get in.
Yes I would. Not doing ECT not other crap but gentle magnetic manipulation yep. I absolutely would
I don't fit with the world and don't want to ATM given what's happening but to function normally and not be tired sign me up. I'll always be neurotic nothing much can be done
 

Perth gal

Premiership Player
Oct 19, 2015
4,474
3,986
AFL Club
West Coast
How's it going? Been seeing a psychologist for a few months now and helping me. Hopefully you're getting some positive results.
It’s going well. I’m not magically cured or anything but I’m actually seeing two psychologists per week. One is free through a government scheme the other I pay for. I’m finding it really helpful.
 

AxialMat

Busy Vibin’
Jul 14, 2014
13,208
14,919
Southwest WA
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Liverpool, NY Jets, Toronto Raptors
My girlfriend was in a double fatal car accident last Sunday. I’ve only just been able to see her today due to restrictions around COVID in WA. Seeing her tonight broke my spirit and hearing her retell the horror of the situation has ruined me. The trauma she is facing is surreal to me.

I now have to break our lease and deal with the finances alone. I’m not in a healthy financial state as it is. I’m broken, I don’t want to be here anymore.
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

Premiership Player
Mar 19, 2020
3,288
6,863
AFL Club
West Coast
My girlfriend was in a double fatal car accident last Sunday. I’ve only just been able to see her today due to restrictions around COVID in WA. Seeing her tonight broke my spirit and hearing her retell the horror of the situation has ruined me. The trauma she is facing is surreal to me.

I now have to break our lease and deal with the finances alone. I’m not in a healthy financial state as it is. I’m broken, I don’t want to be here anymore.
Actually know someone who was in the first spot you are in a year ago. All I could see from the outside looking in is they overcame it only from therapy and a change of lifestyle. It’s quite easy to believe being with each other can be the answer to overcoming it but it’s not really true. BurdeniNG yourself with a problem you can’t solve is a sure fire way to depression and the quickest Way out Is to accept your limits and get help when it’s needed

I guess the second part is confusing me as you are correlating the problems as a bundle when it’s best to seperate. Can you not get a roommate to help with the rent? You may have to change your life to fix the second problem but sometimes the change is a good thing. Don’t assume it will be a negative. You may find having a roommate outside of the situation can ground you somewhat also? Wouldn’t give up on problem 2 without exploring your alternatives at least, even if it’s something you never tried before
 

Lynch takes a mark

Premiership Player
Nov 12, 2006
3,864
542
Subiaco, Perth WA
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Subiaco FC
I'm thinking of doing Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) for depression, anxiety has anyone completed it?

Also, anyone here completed DBT? (Dialectical behavioural therapy) ?

Even though I have tried schema, done tons of psychotherapy, CBT, inpatient groups I seem to get nowhere with managing Borderline personality disorder and Avoidant personality disorder in fact people just seem to run away when i mention them.
I would be sticking with 1 intervention at a time, DBT is excellent as long as you stick with the program for the duration and really work on the exercises.

BPD is..complex. I know that there is a continued push to stop referring to it as BPD (EUPD) because of the reputation and for psychiatrists to remove it from a clients file because of discrimination when being treated by others in the medical field.

If I had a referral for outpatient OT and the occupational performance was being directly impacted by acute episodes related to BPD then DBT would absolutely be the first place I would start.

Antipsychiatry types will class anything CBT/DBT as missing out on acknowledging the underlying trauma that has contributed to the diagnosis (therefore allowing a perpetual victim status) but honestly - don't ignore a diagnosis because you don't like the stigma, take ownership and get some really decent skills to manage it, stop more trauma occurring before sorting through past trauma IMO.
 

Caesar

Ex-Huckleberry
Mar 3, 2005
26,636
12,349
Tombstone, AZ
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
My girlfriend was in a double fatal car accident last Sunday. I’ve only just been able to see her today due to restrictions around COVID in WA. Seeing her tonight broke my spirit and hearing her retell the horror of the situation has ruined me. The trauma she is facing is surreal to me.
When your partner goes through an experience like this it is fairly important to avoid vicarious traumatisation

You will presumably need some support to help you deal with your own emotions surrounding the event but taking on her experience too much is not really going to help anyone. You can be empathetic without getting into the hole beside her.

The most effective way you can support her is to avoid being a rescuer by focusing on maintaining a degree of levelheaded distance from what she’s undergone
 

GoEaglesGoSGIO

Premiership Player
Mar 19, 2020
3,288
6,863
AFL Club
West Coast
When your partner goes through an experience like this it is fairly important to avoid vicarious traumatisation

You will presumably need some support to help you deal with your own emotions surrounding the event but taking on her experience too much is not really going to help anyone. You can be empathetic without getting into the hole beside her.

The most effective way you can support her is to avoid being a rescuer by focusing on maintaining a degree of levelheaded distance from what she’s undergone
Very good post that

Guys also started up a GoFundMe for him also so feel free to contribute guys

 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,924
8,709
AFL Club
Collingwood
The last entire page or two has been the same style of issue explained in differing words. Everyone is discussing what id say is the primal instinct of community and a longing for it or a somewhat inability to understand how best to involve yourself in it. As much as its the same issue it gets born in many many different ways I must admit

I truly believe this is such a Australian problem. Our concept of community and inclusion is absolutely pitiful, bordering on disgusting. The conversation Shell had with her selfish friend is insanely common in Australia. Its a pathetic self involved horrible trait. If I was Shell the first thing id do is remove that friend and never think of them again. Self involved horrid person and there is zero need for anyone ever to have that type of person in ones life

A harsh thought but I tend to think in life in order to find something, we need to look in other places. Too many people want others to include them in a certain community whereas it might be best to search for a new and better one. Too many people will look for friendship or companionship in the same manner. A terrible person exits one life and the instinct is to do a like for like replacement almost. The best thing to do I think is to actually look in other areas and dont commend yourself to the same patterns in life. If you are seeking friendship and havnt found it with a certain type of individual, seek it out on a alternate fashion.

Things like social groups and clubs is a good place. A truly underrated thing is to find something you want to learn and or know, join a class or way to learn that thing or action. It is quite easy to make friends amongst a person who wants to learn something that you also want to learn. Other places id say is group therapy session as its also important to look for people with your life experience. Its so common to ask someone "Oh what do you like", and only operate around that whereas in life its arguably more important to find someone whose had your life experience and to live by each other in that sense.

A person like Shells friend will never understand Shell. We all know her type. The person whose greatest struggle is to buy the blue pants or the white pants and when confronted with a real issue will run and hide because they believe anyone whose not having a 100% A grade time is some form of potential anchor for them. The story will always be the same for this person. They will eventually run into a problem thats bigger then the color of pants, they will seek help and realise that as a result of helping no one themselves, no one wants to help them either. Shell is self aware enough to see that for sure, so also just walk away from it (sorry if that sounds harsh)

One last thing, A psychologist can help a bit but your decision making will always be your greatest friend in the world also so reflect on that each day and focus on it as well as the basic principles of psychology and happiness. Once you are happy with your decison making, its a huge stepping stone to being happy with yourself
Thinking the same thing. I'm done explaining myself to some people. I'm done with the argument because frankly they will never ever listen or change their world view or behaviour. While hanging sh*t on me.
I can literally explain my problem and detoriating situation and its causes (I'm far from perfect and need to make better choices and decisions but also need to change some things) yet will not be listened to as it goes against someone's world view.
I could say C is a problem causing b and I need to get to A. But they will insist on Z because somehow they know my mind and body better than me.
This is what makes this such a sensitive issue. I've battled for years and need to be better and also become a better person.
But others just are incapable (I mean like cant) of seeing things a different way or changing their behaviour or how they respond.
Like you say better off removing myself from certain situations. Just does me no good.
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,924
8,709
AFL Club
Collingwood
Can I suggest going to a cognitive therapy course of some sort? At the very least id suggest to buy a cognitive therapy book if you dont have the finances for it



is what id recommend. You need to read atleast 3/4 of it to get to the point of understanding so if you feel like you dont get it right away, just persist longer
I'm trying this. But frustrating dealing with people.
Let me put it another way. Let's say you have a broken leg and you smoke dope as pain relief. (I don't smoke dope btw)
Now you know dope is bad for you so try and quit but every time you do your leg plays up.
Now if I came up to you and said stop smoking because I'm anti drugs and your leg is fine you'd be pissed. Especially if you then showed me x-rays detailing the damage and pointed to numerous examples of how your injury had affected you. Missed a footy match for e.g. Then called you out as selfish to your team for missing a game.
Now ordinarily I'm live and let live. I'd just leave you to deal with your leg your way. But others can't help themselves.
Same as the noise pollution that goes on around me. Like say a guy who mows his lawn at 5am on Saturday morning. Nothing wrong with that. But do you have to constantly do it and that time. They will argue yes.(this is an analogy btw)
My problem is I acknowledge my faults and my behaviour and world perspective cos I've had to. Others haven't as they've never needed to so will always claim they know better
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,924
8,709
AFL Club
Collingwood
My girlfriend was in a double fatal car accident last Sunday. I’ve only just been able to see her today due to restrictions around COVID in WA. Seeing her tonight broke my spirit and hearing her retell the horror of the situation has ruined me. The trauma she is facing is surreal to me.

I now have to break our lease and deal with the finances alone. I’m not in a healthy financial state as it is. I’m broken, I don’t want to be here anymore.
First things first. You can't fix her. All you can do is support. Be there when she needs you and listen and talk through with her. Hard position to be in.
Now you. You seem in a state yourself but it's not clear if this is Sunday or other issues as well. You need to do what's best and seek support but it has to be from the right people. Most people simply don't understand.
 

mr bagcroft

Premiership Player
May 19, 2017
4,596
5,272
AFL Club
St Kilda
Thinking the same thing. I'm done explaining myself to some people. I'm done with the argument because frankly they will never ever listen or change their world view or behaviour. While hanging sh*t on me.
I can literally explain my problem and detoriating situation and its causes (I'm far from perfect and need to make better choices and decisions but also need to change some things) yet will not be listened to as it goes against someone's world view.
I could say C is a problem causing b and I need to get to A. But they will insist on Z because somehow they know my mind and body better than me.
This is what makes this such a sensitive issue. I've battled for years and need to be better and also become a better person.
But others just are incapable (I mean like cant) of seeing things a different way or changing their behaviour or how they respond.
Like you say better off removing myself from certain situations. Just does me no good.
Hang in there mate, having people tell you whats best for YOU, is indeed extremely frustrating.
 

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