Health Depression

nobbyiscool

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 11, 2006
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My experience over the last few months has given me so much more insight to mental health after first being diagnosed with depression 20 years ago and anxiety 15 years ago.

We tell people to talk, to open up... but then what? We just don't have the resources to deal with mental health.

So after 20 years of different medications, different therapists, different treatments... I was finally referred to a psychiatrist late last year, who I was able to see for free under a government COVID program.

3 appointments with they psychiatrist and 3 appointments with the therapist at the same premises, and they diagnosed a personality disorder. The way they explain it my primary mental illness is the personality disorder - the anxiety and depression is secondary, it's a result of never being able to manage/deal with/identify the personality disorder.

It just seems such a failure of the system that you can go through the process in 3 different states (well, 2 states and 1 territory), to find out after 20 years that everything you'd done until now - all the money you'd spent, all the time you'd spent, all the personal and relationship poll of something you didn't know you had - it just feels like such a waste. It's like my life is nearly half over before I started figuring out how to live it.
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
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My experience over the last few months has given me so much more insight to mental health after first being diagnosed with depression 20 years ago and anxiety 15 years ago.

We tell people to talk, to open up... but then what? We just don't have the resources to deal with mental health.

So after 20 years of different medications, different therapists, different treatments... I was finally referred to a psychiatrist late last year, who I was able to see for free under a government COVID program.

3 appointments with they psychiatrist and 3 appointments with the therapist at the same premises, and they diagnosed a personality disorder. The way they explain it my primary mental illness is the personality disorder - the anxiety and depression is secondary, it's a result of never being able to manage/deal with/identify the personality disorder.

It just seems such a failure of the system that you can go through the process in 3 different states (well, 2 states and 1 territory), to find out after 20 years that everything you'd done until now - all the money you'd spent, all the time you'd spent, all the personal and relationship poll of something you didn't know you had - it just feels like such a waste. It's like my life is nearly half over before I started figuring out how to live it.
I really like this post. You figured out how to live where everyone else is struggling. We have all been through the ringer.its not a waste. On a personal note I've honesty dealt with depression/mental health issues/hospitals for ,20 years. There is no answer but people do understand
 
Last edited:
Mar 25, 2021
49
42
AFL Club
Fremantle
My experience over the last few months has given me so much more insight to mental health after first being diagnosed with depression 20 years ago and anxiety 15 years ago.

We tell people to talk, to open up... but then what? We just don't have the resources to deal with mental health.

So after 20 years of different medications, different therapists, different treatments... I was finally referred to a psychiatrist late last year, who I was able to see for free under a government COVID program.
Can I just confirm, you were getting different medications and treatments for 20 years before you were refered to a psychiatrist?

I assume you were seeing a GP during this time?
 

nobbyiscool

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 11, 2006
13,880
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Democratic People's Republic of Victoria
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West Coast
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Raiders/TasTigers/MV/Iggles
Can I just confirm, you were getting different medications and treatments for 20 years before you were refered to a psychiatrist?

I assume you were seeing a GP during this time?
Yep, correct on all fronts. They've been long-term GPs - I've been seeing my current one for nearly 6 years, I'd been seeing the same one in Canberra for at least 5 years before that. So the medications I was on were always well controlled... but it's like I had to get to suicidal before anyone would get me to a psychiatrist. Which isn't the GPs fault - it's the systems fault. You literally can't get into see a psychiatrist through public health - as I mentioned, I was only able to do it under one of the government's COVID assist programs.
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,816
8,437
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Collingwood
Yep, correct on all fronts. They've been long-term GPs - I've been seeing my current one for nearly 6 years, I'd been seeing the same one in Canberra for at least 5 years before that. So the medications I was on were always well controlled... but it's like I had to get to suicidal before anyone would get me to a psychiatrist. Which isn't the GPs fault - it's the systems fault. You literally can't get into see a psychiatrist through public health - as I mentioned, I was only able to do it under one of the government's COVID assist programs.
It's true psychiatry is a special service. Have PH or pay out of your own pocket
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,816
8,437
AFL Club
Collingwood
My experience over the last few months has given me so much more insight to mental health after first being diagnosed with depression 20 years ago and anxiety 15 years ago.

We tell people to talk, to open up... but then what? We just don't have the resources to deal with mental health.

So after 20 years of different medications, different therapists, different treatments... I was finally referred to a psychiatrist late last year, who I was able to see for free under a government COVID program.

3 appointments with they psychiatrist and 3 appointments with the therapist at the same premises, and they diagnosed a personality disorder. The way they explain it my primary mental illness is the personality disorder - the anxiety and depression is secondary, it's a result of never being able to manage/deal with/identify the personality disorder.

It just seems such a failure of the system that you can go through the process in 3 different states (well, 2 states and 1 territory), to find out after 20 years that everything you'd done until now - all the money you'd spent, all the time you'd spent, all the personal and relationship poll of something you didn't know you had - it just feels like such a waste. It's like my life is nearly half over before I started figuring out how to live it.
I would add we don't have the resources or understanding. Nobody is honest when it comes to causes and treatments so while communication is good it is mostly token. How we live under constant stress adds to it as well as a genetic or generally developmental predisposition
 

Run n Spread

Norm Smith Medallist
Apr 2, 2013
9,816
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AFL Club
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Sick of been stressed for no good reason, battling to survive and constant rejection. Not to mention been well and truly sick of the idiocy that pervades society over certain issues.
Also my dream is to move out of Melbourne and retire by working for myself. My mindset is genetically what it is.
 
Mar 25, 2021
49
42
AFL Club
Fremantle
Yep, correct on all fronts. They've been long-term GPs - I've been seeing my current one for nearly 6 years, I'd been seeing the same one in Canberra for at least 5 years before that. So the medications I was on were always well controlled... but it's like I had to get to suicidal before anyone would get me to a psychiatrist. Which isn't the GPs fault - it's the systems fault. You literally can't get into see a psychiatrist through public health - as I mentioned, I was only able to do it under one of the government's COVID assist programs.
I've had issues my whole life, only got the courage to see a GP back in 2002. He sent me off for a few tests (blood test and heart scan, maybe others). Just to make sure there is nothing physical going on. After I'd had the tests I went to book an appointment with the same GP but he was away, saw I saw another one at the same clinic.

My tests came back normal and this other GP said I was fine and sent me on my way. I was devestated. I had been suffering for so long and it took so much courage for me to finally seek help. To just be dismissed like that was horrible and made me feel worse.

So I suffered for another year. Until I couldn't take anymore, went back and saw ANOTHER GP who was great, understood and immediately referred me to a phsychiatrist.

Was your problem that they wouldn't refer you? Or you couldn't afford it? Sorry, sensitive question so you don't have to answer it if you don't want to.

Psychiatrists aren't cheap, but they work under massive pressure, dealing with life and death all the time. As far as I know private health doesn't cover out patient consultations but you get a bit back from Medicare. Still leaves you $100-$150 out of pocket each time. Private health will cover you if you need to be admitted to hospital, fortunately I've never needed that.

Please let us know how you go.
 
Mar 25, 2021
49
42
AFL Club
Fremantle
Sick of been stressed for no good reason, battling to survive and constant rejection. Not to mention been well and truly sick of the idiocy that pervades society over certain issues.
Also my dream is to move out of Melbourne and retire by working for myself. My mindset is genetically what it is.
Yes, I'm a bit like you. Society sucks, COVID, floods, politicians, cancel culture. Just makes you worse. Is anything good happening in the world?

I left a job of 14 years to become self employed. It's not going to make me a millionaire but it has taken a lot of mental pressure off me.
 

Marklar_33

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Apr 23, 2005
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I left a job of 14 years to become self employed. It's not going to make me a millionaire but it has taken a lot of mental pressure off me.
Did the same, it’s not a miracle but I’ve been far better. Now it’s building that I’ve done so well I may need to expand and that’s freaking me out that I may overdo it and regress, and I’m not sure I can survive the depths of November-January
 

Catsnlakers

The World needs more Hank Moody’s.
Oct 2, 2016
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I dont think ive ever come dependent on a drug fwiw.
That’s a good thing, I honestly believe I’ll be on Pristiq for good now, it’s been 5 years & I’m still super dependent on it....
 
Mar 25, 2021
49
42
AFL Club
Fremantle
Did the same, it’s not a miracle but I’ve been far better. Now it’s building that I’ve done so well I may need to expand and that’s freaking me out that I may overdo it and regress, and I’m not sure I can survive the depths of November-January
It's good that you have done so well that you have the ability to expand. I suppose you just need to weigh up the pros and cons. Is it something you HAVE to do, money wise? If not I know a lot of self employed people who are happy to just tick along earning a living.

Is November-January a quiet time for your business?
 
Apr 6, 2020
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A bit of a toxic work environment made it easier to leave. I just had to get out of there, it was affecting my health and I don't think anything is worth that.

Yeah, working for yourself can be a pain sometimes, especially at tax time.
Probably a great choice to get some distance from the toxicity then.
 

Marklar_33

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 23, 2005
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It's good that you have done so well that you have the ability to expand. I suppose you just need to weigh up the pros and cons. Is it something you HAVE to do, money wise? If not I know a lot of self employed people who are happy to just tick along earning a living.

Is November-January a quiet time for your business?
No, it was a bad time for my mental state, and I’m terrified of making the wrong move and putting the pressure on myself when I’m not ready for it.

I’ve always been motivated by money, so that part of me still exists, but I can easily be happy and cruise along getting by. I’ve been looking at buying or building a house, but even that is too much pressure for me right now

So, anything that triggers me scares the sh*t out of me, because I got very close several times from not being here, even a four year old daughter who is my entire existence wasn’t powerful enough motivation to overcome the feeling, although several people have told me if I really had have wanted to not be here, I would’ve got the job done. I hope they’re right
 

Marklar_33

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Are you getting professional help.?
Yes. Since September last year, I’m not sure if it’s doing anything, maybe I’m not open to it. I try to be. There’s a few things that set me off and they’re unlikely to change so I’m not sure there’s anything that can be done. That’s probably just my negative mind speaking of course, and there’s the old cliche of letting time do it’s work. I’m generally pretty logical but when it hits that’s all out the window
 
Mar 25, 2021
49
42
AFL Club
Fremantle
Yes. Since September last year, I’m not sure if it’s doing anything, maybe I’m not open to it. I try to be. There’s a few things that set me off and they’re unlikely to change so I’m not sure there’s anything that can be done. That’s probably just my negative mind speaking of course, and there’s the old cliche of letting time do it’s work. I’m generally pretty logical but when it hits that’s all out the window
You sound a lot like me. Things set me off and I don't think that will change much, but people have said I do seem better. The problem with mental illness is there is no time frame for your return to health. It's not like a hamstring where in 6 weeks you will be OK. It's an ongoing battle.

One thing I can say, if you are seeking professional help and you don't feel a "connection" (sometimes it can take a few consultations to know, so don't rush), you can always see someone else.
 

Shell

Premium Platinum
Jul 2, 2005
138,205
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I need friends.

I facebook'd a friend the other day- inviting her over for a coffee "sometime" and bring her dog, as I bought some treats for it.

The reply was something along the lines of oh, im so busy this next month or so. And no need to buy the dog treats we literally bought $100 worth of treats for her the other day.

The srs fu**. Why dont you just man up and say you dont want to be friends ffs. Would have a tonne more respect for her that sprouting that bullshit to me LOL yeah you're busy 24/7, 7 days a week. Sure ok. Me too.
 

Shell

Premium Platinum
Jul 2, 2005
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One thing I can say, if you are seeking professional help and you don't feel a "connection" (sometimes it can take a few consultations to know, so don't rush), you can always see someone else.
I tend to disagree with that a bit. I instantly knew tbh. The first one was an absolute dickhead- definitely didnt see him again. And the second one was "lovely" but just.. not for me. I stuck with her for 6-7 sessions, it was a waste of time in the end tbh.

From my POV you know almost right away. Obviously its different for everyone tho.
 
Mar 25, 2021
49
42
AFL Club
Fremantle
I tend to disagree with that a bit. I instantly knew tbh. The first one was an absolute dickhead- definitely didnt see him again. And the second one was "lovely" but just.. not for me. I stuck with her for 6-7 sessions, it was a waste of time in the end tbh.

From my POV you know almost right away. Obviously its different for everyone tho.
You're right, you can only go by your own experiences. I've heard stories about some that would have me running out the door in a flash, people that really talk down to you.

My experience is this, now on my third psychiatrist.

1) Got a referral from a GP. First time so had no idea what to expect. She seemed fine, I stuck with her for a few years. In hindsight she didn't change meds if they weren't working. Think I only tried 3 different ones in the 5-6 years I was seeing her, no improvement. After I while she changed a bit, I left the sessions feeling I'd just spent half an hour being told off, like she was frustrated with me. I remember driving home from these sessions feeling like sh*t, worse than before I arrived. After a while my parents saw I was going nowhere so I stopped seeing her.

2) Recommended by someone. He was great, the best. If something wasn't working he was not afraid of trying different things. He would also just ring me out of the blue sometimes to see how I was going. Someone who really cared. Unfortunately he got very ill suddenly and had to retire.

During the year or two after I was seeing no-one. Luckily I had a GP who would prescribe my scripts without a problem.

3) Went downhill and needed to see someone again. I research those Dr review websites. You have to be careful with these as some people give bad reviews because they weren't given the addictive drugs they wanted. Eventually found someone who seemed good. Went to the GP and got a referral.

I am still with him, he was always nice, but it did take a few sessions to for me to feel he is the right one. I'm glad I stuck with him, he is great, listens and most importantly, if something isn't working he will change things around.


Also, A tip for anyone seeing a psychiatrist. You probably won't get one the first time, but as referrals only last a year the next time you need one ask for an indefinite referral. Saves you going to the GP every year. I hardly ever see my GP.
 

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