Health Depression

[tigers_of_old_08]

What a massive load of wank.

IMO depression is a self fulfilling prophecy, a convienent escape clause for bums who havent got what it takes, or lack the desire to be better than they are.

Smasha is a perfect example, complaining about EVERYTHING.

Pull your fingers out and realise you only live once FFS.

Your ignorance is embarassing. Depression is a serious and widespread condition, largely due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. (It's real)

Dude clinical depression is far from a "convenient escape clause".

Could you make the effort to read up on the condition? Might help.

 

[BarneyBent]

Being a drummer makes it worse because we are considered the "losers" of the band.

We don't make melodies,we can't write songs.

WE just tap a beat in the background while the girls all gather round the singer or guitarist.

Man, Keith Moon that shit. Go crazy. Grab attention. Use the drumsticks as phallic symbols. Grow a massive beard. Take solos (Ginger Baker style).

Also, there's no reason a drummer can't write a melody or words. Even if you can't play any tuned instruments, get on a keyboard and play around with it. After a little while playing around you might find something. Jot some words down (if you're feeling depressed you should have a fair bit to work with, even if you need to dig down past the apathy to find it). Try not to make it too emo (it's a problem I have, ever since I started listening to bloody Leonard Cohen; effective use of irony can help). Even if you're not the best songwriter, it's a start, and you can give it to the main songwriter to finish off.

On the subject of depression, I was diagnosed with depression as a kid, but at the time, I didn't think anything of it, neither did my mum, we thought it was just an overzealous doctor (I was also diagnosed with ADD a little earlier, which was also ignored; in fact, I only found out a couple of weeks ago). We put it down to anxiety rather than depression. But I have always been low energy, low self-esteem (although a high self-opinion, go figure), low motivation, disorganised, anxious, socially withdrawn (very much so in my teenage years, I'm merely introverted now), with very little reason to be so (I never cut myself or went emo or anything like that, though I did have that nihilist/existentialist epiphany that all teenages with too much time to think have). I also have only cried three times in my life since being a little kid; once when my dog died, once when my grandma died, and spontaneously a few months ago when having a D&M with my GF about the possibility that I may in fact be depressed. Make of that what you will.

Problem is, I have no idea whether I do or not. I got glandular fever last year, and I seem to be suffering from post viral fatigue. This sort of thing often induces depression-like symptoms, which appears to be happening to me, but I'm wondering if I'm not in fact depressed, and this is being exacerbated by my post viral fatigue, which has drastically reduced my social life. I'm certainly far more distant with all of my friends bar one, and my girlfriend, I'm sleeping 12 hours a day, I don't give a shit about uni work, and I don't really care about the friends I've grown distant to (and yet I really wish I was close to them again).

I just want to sleep all day and make the world go away; I rarely feel sad or happy; I want to try alcoholism but I don't have the stomach for it; I have contemplated suicide (though I'm not sure how serious I ever was about it); I desperately want to drop out of uni, despite actually quite enjoying my course; I make bad decisions, which I know are bad but don't care, every single day (sitting here typing this when I have a 2000 word assignment due tomorrow which simply must be done is just one of them); I am completely responsibility-phobic because I don't think I can handle it mentally, even though I know I am capable (this extends to relationships); I am in love with a girl who is absolutely perfect for me, and in all honesty I should be seriously, SERIOUSLY considering marrying at some point in the not-too-distant future (despite the fact that I'm only 20, and she's my first girlfriend), and yet despite this the thought of staying with her into next year fills my stomach full of dread; I often wish I was a closet gay, just so I have some all-encompassing excuse for the way my life is, and when I finally realise this I'll be all better (alas, it appears that this is not the case; but hey, I'm desperate to be a parent, so it's not all bad! ).

I tried some anti-Ds (my GF's, she suffers from it), they didn't really work (although I kept forgetting to take them, and they made me feel sick anyway), which was actually kind of promising in its way, but reading other people saying anti-Ds don't help them reopens the possibility.

So, BigFooty, diagnose me. Am I depressed? Anxious? Suffering post viral fatigue? Mad as a meat-axe? In desperate need of a glass of harden the **** up?

 

[sabre_ac]

I don't suffer from depression but have come to realise it's a very illness after seeing friends and others struggle. I think almost everyone will suffer from it at one stage, the unlucky or the truely ill are the ones that suffer from it long term.

I've found that everytime I have been "down" or unhappy for more than one day in a row that exercise works, lifting weights and smashing some cardio does wonders for the chemical balance in the body.

I know it's easier said than done, but consider you put on muscle fairly quickly initially, increase in body image won't take that long to begin with.

 

[tigers_of_old_08]

So, BigFooty, diagnose me. Am I depressed? Anxious? Suffering post viral fatigue? Mad as a meat-axe? In desperate need of a glass of harden the **** up?

I reckon being able to put your thoughts on paper as youve done can be helpful. Keeping a personal (daily) journal has much merit.

As for diagnosing if you have a medical condition (any condition not specifically depression) this should be done with the assistance of a doctor. Get a second opinion if you're not satisfied with the treatment or advice youre getting.

Try your own research too. Check out Beyond Blue http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=2 , or reliable websites such as http://www.depression.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=14&Itemid=17 for information & guidance. Personal accounts from others who have been through it may be of some help too http://www.tamramercieca.com/2010/04/the-upside-of-down/.

There are alternative therapies that can provide assistance to treatment from a different perspective. Naturopaths, nutritionists/dieticians can provide help by working with the GP, counsellor, etc.

This could be a start for you.

 

[jacqui9]

Almost twelve months on , and I barely recognise the Jacqui who last posted in this thread.

Today I am physically fit, healthy and quite happy. I have a great bunch of friends, my weekends are almost always packed, I'm in a relationship with a great guy, I am about to start uni for the first time

I'm still on my medication as the side effects were just too awful when I tried to come off it.

It has taken seven years, and sometimes my younger years seem wasted, but I am a far stronger person than I ever been at any stage of my life.

The most important aspect of beating depression is having a decent support base. This can be family, friends, a psychologist etc...

As scary as it is, you really need to push yourself to get out amongst people. The thought of being in a large social situation terrified me, but I forced myself to do it.

 

[fryingpan]

Feel good story - well done jacqui

 

[Major Colvin]

Almost twelve months on , and I barely recognise the Jacqui who last posted in this thread.

Today I am physically fit, healthy and quite happy. I have a great bunch of friends, my weekends are almost always packed, I'm in a relationship with a great guy, I am about to start uni for the first time

I'm still on my medication as the side effects were just too awful when I tried to come off it.

It has taken seven years, and sometimes my younger years seem wasted, but I am a far stronger person than I ever been at any stage of my life.

The most important aspect of beating depression is having a decent support base. This can be family, friends, a psychologist etc...

As scary as it is, you really need to push yourself to get out amongst people. The thought of being in a large social situation terrified me, but I forced myself to do it.

Awesome.

 

[deeman12]

Are there any sufferers of Intrusive Thoughts on the board who could share their experiences?

Basically all throughout my childhood I've been obsessive in my thoughts. If something finds its way into my mind, I struggle to get it out, to the point where it paralyses my mind from doing anything else. Take for example the other day, I was thinking about how many friends I would actually keep from university. I then sat there for well over an hour just thinking about this, whilst neglecting my uni work on the lap-top which was right in front of me. The worst thing about it is that I know how ridiculous and irrational that thought was, but I just couldn't stop it.

That's just one example of a type of thought. It can basically be anything random and then it's stuck until I can think of a way to conceptualise it and then it will eventually go. To couple this, I've got a number of obsessive compulsive rituals which I have to do, otherwise I can't function onto the next task at hand. A few days at a time I can function perfectly well and then at a random time my mind will start ticking over again.

Like others here, I generally hate public spheres. Something like walking into a lecture theatre every day can sometimes terrify me and I become somewhat paranoid.

So far from the research I've done on the net, these are intense Intrusive Thoughts, severe Need for Cognition or OCD. Not completely sure though.

Any thoughts would be great.

 

[smasha]

Almost twelve months on , and I barely recognise the Jacqui who last posted in this thread.

Today I am physically fit, healthy and quite happy. I have a great bunch of friends, my weekends are almost always packed, I'm in a relationship with a great guy, I am about to start uni for the first time

I'm still on my medication as the side effects were just too awful when I tried to come off it.

It has taken seven years, and sometimes my younger years seem wasted, but I am a far stronger person than I ever been at any stage of my life.

The most important aspect of beating depression is having a decent support base. This can be family, friends, a psychologist etc...

As scary as it is, you really need to push yourself to get out amongst people. The thought of being in a large social situation terrified me, but I forced myself to do it.

You seem to be intelligent.

I'm dum,b as dogshgit and depressed.

Goo to see you've got out of it.

 

[placebo]

Are there any sufferers of Intrusive Thoughts on the board who could share their experiences?

Basically all throughout my childhood I've been obsessive in my thoughts. If something finds its way into my mind, I struggle to get it out, to the point where it paralyses my mind from doing anything else. Take for example the other day, I was thinking about how many friends I would actually keep from university. I then sat there for well over an hour just thinking about this, whilst neglecting my uni work on the lap-top which was right in front of me. The worst thing about it is that I know how ridiculous and irrational that thought was, but I just couldn't stop it.

That's just one example of a type of thought. It can basically be anything random and then it's stuck until I can think of a way to conceptualise it and then it will eventually go.

I get the intrusive thoughts one a lot.
Sometimes it's the absolute weirdest thought...but I can't get rid of it, then the more I try to get rid of it, the clearer it is in my mind and so on so forth and it just plagues my mind for ages.
Absolutely frustrating.

 

[Caesar]

I had a severe meltdown in my second year of university - 18, living away from home, working fulltime in a high pressure job and studying three quarters of a fulltime load in a double degree, in retrospect it was really only a matter of time before it all fell apart. I will not go into details but suffice to say I was restrained against my will under the Mental Health Act for several days, so it was a bad one. It truly can happen to anyone - I was a bulletproof high achiever and got turned into a mess in no time. It was without a single doubt the most crippling, scary and difficult thing I have ever dealt with in my life.

For anyone who is going through it, there are only two things I can recommend - acknowledge that it's a genuine illness, and genuinely commit to getting better.

With the former, I have had friends who have fought it and seen it as a personal failing, which just means they fail to address it properly and they spiral deeper. With the latter, you need to be completely honest with yourself and commit 100% to fighting the illness - do everything that is recommended, but at the same time realise that if you don't manage to live up to those recommendations sometimes it's okay because of the illness.

If you put in the absolute full effort to getting better, then people will stand by you, regardless of how long it takes you to drag yourself out of it properly. Only you can judge whether you're really trying your hardest, and you absolutely have to be 100% honest with yourself. It shouldn't be results-based. There were days I never got out of bed, but I'd put more effort in than another day when I'd been up and about but avoided going for a run when I could have.

You can beat it. BELIEVE you can beat it. You just need to be determined, have good support, and be realistic about your situation.

 

[BarneyBent]

Are there any sufferers of Intrusive Thoughts on the board who could share their experiences?

Basically all throughout my childhood I've been obsessive in my thoughts. If something finds its way into my mind, I struggle to get it out, to the point where it paralyses my mind from doing anything else. Take for example the other day, I was thinking about how many friends I would actually keep from university. I then sat there for well over an hour just thinking about this, whilst neglecting my uni work on the lap-top which was right in front of me. The worst thing about it is that I know how ridiculous and irrational that thought was, but I just couldn't stop it.

That's just one example of a type of thought. It can basically be anything random and then it's stuck until I can think of a way to conceptualise it and then it will eventually go. To couple this, I've got a number of obsessive compulsive rituals which I have to do, otherwise I can't function onto the next task at hand. A few days at a time I can function perfectly well and then at a random time my mind will start ticking over again.

Like others here, I generally hate public spheres. Something like walking into a lecture theatre every day can sometimes terrify me and I become somewhat paranoid.

So far from the research I've done on the net, these are intense Intrusive Thoughts, severe Need for Cognition or OCD. Not completely sure though.

Any thoughts would be great.

I think my cousin may suffer something similar. Rather than dwell on these thoughts and become crippled like you seem to do, the thoughts cause her to go into a spiral of paranoia or despair and trigger a panic attack. The result is different but the root cause appears to be the same: an inability to control thought processes and focus on certain things over others.

I also suffer a bit from this, but with an even more different outcome. Rather than panic attacks (although I do suffer anxiety at times) or crippled dwelling, my symptoms present more like ADD. I am extremely, EXTREMELY distractible (my posting on here is a perfect example). If I'm doing uni work, a sudden urge, thought or curiosity might seize me, and I will be forced to investigate it. I also have mild OCD, which may be related. If it's an urge to go on BigFooty, I'll spend the next hour on BigFooty. If it's an urge to check cricket scores, I'll check cricket scores. If it's an urge to watch an episode of something (at the moment I'm watching Dragonball episodes), I'll do that for an hour or two. The worst part is, doing this breaks my concentration, and makes it easier for other thoughts to come in and distract me further. Only when I'm panicking about work can my mind become so singularly focused that I can work consistently for more than an hour or two at a time.

The common theme to all this is an inability to prevent certain thoughts from taking hold. What my cousin does, which has really helped her immensely, is basically a stripped down, specially designed form of meditation called "mindfulness training". It sounds like hippy crap, but it is considered a legitimate psychological/psychiatric therapy, and she and another cousin of mine (yes, my family is insane, we basically have a family psychiatrist FFS, we find it very amusing, in a self-depracating sort of way) swear by it. It's not about spirituality or anything like that, it's about changing and learning to control your thought processes. What mindfulness is to meditation is kind of like what core strength training is to pilates.

So yeah, maybe you should give that a go. See a psychiatrist/psychologist, talk to them, ask if they think it would help, and get a reference.

 

[smasha]

I had a severe meltdown in my second year of university - 18, living away from home, working fulltime in a high pressure job and studying three quarters of a fulltime load in a double degree, in retrospect it was really only a matter of time before it all fell apart. I will not go into details but suffice to say I was restrained against my will under the Mental Health Act for several days, so it was a bad one. It truly can happen to anyone - I was a bulletproof high achiever and got turned into a mess in no time. It was without a single doubt the most crippling, scary and difficult thing I have ever dealt with in my life.

For anyone who is going through it, there are only two things I can recommend - acknowledge that it's a genuine illness, and genuinely commit to getting better.

With the former, I have had friends who have fought it and seen it as a personal failing, which just means they fail to address it properly and they spiral deeper. With the latter, you need to be completely honest with yourself and commit 100% to fighting the illness - do everything that is recommended, but at the same time realise that if you don't manage to live up to those recommendations sometimes it's okay because of the illness.

If you put in the absolute full effort to getting better, then people will stand by you, regardless of how long it takes you to drag yourself out of it properly. Only you can judge whether you're really trying your hardest, and you absolutely have to be 100% honest with yourself. It shouldn't be results-based. There were days I never got out of bed, but I'd put more effort in than another day when I'd been up and about but avoided going for a run when I could have.

You can beat it. BELIEVE you can beat it. You just need to be determined, have good support, and be realistic about your situation.

You are one of the lucky ones.

If you are intelligent and have confidence(unlike me),you will get out of it.

If you struggled at school all your life then you get walked over by humans(it's human nature to do that)and then you get depression on top of that,you're ****ed.

 

[KangaFett]

You are one of the lucky ones.

If you are intelligent and have confidence(unlike me),you will get out of it.

If you struggled at school all your life then you get walked over by humans(it's human nature to do that)and then you get depression on top of that,you're ****ed.

when your down the confidence isnt there and often either is the intelligence because your normally in a spiral.

you just need to get back to basics sometimes, focus on doing the small things right and try build a platform from there. some times you just need to role the dice and take a risk on something even tho all you can see is failure.

humans seems more inclined to walk over you when you appear to be a soft target as your well experiencing.

theres no magic formula, its just a matter of trying and persistence regardless of how crappy and hopeless it seems.

the road can be long, very long.

 

[Suspense]

The common theme to all this is an inability to prevent certain thoughts from taking hold. What my cousin does, which has really helped her immensely, is basically a stripped down, specially designed form of meditation called "mindfulness training". It sounds like hippy crap, but it is considered a legitimate psychological/psychiatric therapy, and she and another cousin of mine (yes, my family is insane, we basically have a family psychiatrist FFS, we find it very amusing, in a self-depracating sort of way) swear by it. It's not about spirituality or anything like that, it's about changing and learning to control your thought processes. What mindfulness is to meditation is kind of like what core strength training is to pilates.

MBCT. I've read a fair bit of Kabat-Zinn's stuff and it's very zen influenced. it's p cool and i do recommend it for mild depression and anxiety type stuff but there are some practitioners out there who are just massive MASSIVE w***ers, which can put some people (like myself) off. there are cool ppl though too.

 

[HARKER]

You are one of the lucky ones.

If you are intelligent and have confidence(unlike me),you will get out of it.

If you struggled at school all your life then you get walked over by humans(it's human nature to do that)and then you get depression on top of that,you're ****ed.

I didn't know we had such threads on BF and good one on all of you who have the balls to confess to an illness, that is neither nice nor is it easy to open up to.

I see you started this one Smasha and are still hanging in there and talking about it one year on. Good on you.

I have though highlighted that you say, "You are one of the lucky ones"
We all have our fair share of "Luck" and also our fair share of "Down on luck" times, don't worry about that.

Considering that one in four people will be affected by depression at one time or another and coming from a point of view where I can honestly say, I understand, there are ways of countering this illness and SSRI's are not necessarily the answer.
Having said that nor are they always your enemy either, as a horses for courses situation does apply here also as we are not all "built" the same.

I could keep this rolling for page after page but for all of you who do feel that this is all a waste of time, may I just say this:

As long as you have the lucidity of mind to be able to reason, consider and communicate, you are miles in front.
It may not seem like that sometimes, but where you feel you are not adding anything to yourself, inadvertently you are adding to others whether you know it or not.

We'll all get there. Stay tough (and kind)

 

[nicky]

You seem to be intelligent.

I'm dum,b as dogshgit and depressed.

Goo to see you've got out of it.

Even if you are dumb who cares, you have wicked music taste which is very rare in this day and age. I'd rather hang out with a guy who thinks he's dumb and listen to good music than a smartarse w***er who loves powderfinger/u2/coldplay etc.

You're not that bad.

 

[nicky]

MBCT. I've read a fair bit of Kabat-Zinn's stuff and it's very zen influenced. it's p cool and i do recommend it for mild depression and anxiety type stuff but there are some practitioners out there who are just massive MASSIVE w***ers, which can put some people (like myself) off. there are cool ppl though too.

He's great and I reccommend him to smasha as well. Seriously get one of his cds.

 

[Caesar]

You are one of the lucky ones.

If you are intelligent and have confidence(unlike me),you will get out of it.

If you struggled at school all your life then you get walked over by humans(it's human nature to do that)and then you get depression on top of that,you're ****ed.

Intelligence =/= marks at school. From what I've read of your posting in the last few years you're pretty damn intelligent. Of course you have no confidence though... nobody with depression has confidence.

If you genuinely want to get better and you dedicate yourself to the goal, you can get there. It might take years, but as long as you keep trying and don't resign yourself to defeat you'll eventually make that breakthrough. As Henley said, you are the captain of your soul. Good luck.

 

[HARKER]

Intelligence =/= marks at school. From what I've read of your posting in the last few years you're pretty damn intelligent. Of course you have no confidence though... nobody with depression has confidence.

Thank you Caesar for your honest observation.

I have a real problem with people that impose themselves over others for their belief that they are, "more intelligent"
These are often the same people that need a flag to fly in order to prop up their own low self-esteem

There are many ways to gauge intelligence if we really have to come to it and an impressive IQ alone will not give you the skills you may need to glide through life.

Maybe I have been gifted (?) with a high IQ, but more than anything I've tried to allow myself to see things for what they are.

Give me a good human being with a cause over a "Supremely Intelligent" arse-hole every day of the week, thank you.

 

[cats2rise]

I am afraid of depression and 'culture shock' when I move back to Aus in March. Been on exchange in Sweden since september, have a girlfriend here, made so many close friends I really dont want to leave.

I can see myself being a wreck when I get back.

 

[gimp!]

I am afraid of depression and 'culture shock' when I move back to Aus in March. Been on exchange in Sweden since september, have a girlfriend here, made so many close friends I really dont want to leave.

I can see myself being a wreck when I get back.

Can you stay there if you want? Do you miss your family?

 

[nicky]

I am afraid of depression and 'culture shock' when I move back to Aus in March. Been on exchange in Sweden since september, have a girlfriend here, made so many close friends I really dont want to leave.

I can see myself being a wreck when I get back.

I spent 2 and 1/2 years away from Australia and i can confirm the problem of culture shock getting back. I was depressed for a good 6 months. I remember spending alot of time with one friend and we met at south bank one day, i took one sip of wine and sobbed for no reason. It was horrible. I felt so isolated from everyone for ages.

 

[deeman12]

I am afraid of depression and 'culture shock' when I move back to Aus in March. Been on exchange in Sweden since september, have a girlfriend here, made so many close friends I really dont want to leave.

I can see myself being a wreck when I get back.

Ironically I want to do an exchange to overcome some of my inhibitions and insecurities and hopefully get a new lease on life.

Can't you stay back after semester ends for a few months before uni back home starts and go from there? Or organise another semester with hopefully an OS-Loan?

 

[Plugger35]

I spent 2 and 1/2 years away from Australia and i can confirm the problem of culture shock getting back. I was depressed for a good 6 months. I remember spending alot of time with one friend and we met at south bank one day, i took one sip of wine and sobbed for no reason. It was horrible. I felt so isolated from everyone for ages.

I went through something similar after returning home from being overseas for about 3 years. Didn't really want to come back but my work visa in the UK expired.

I had a pretty good job over there that paid well and a good group of friends so to have to come back to Australia and start all over again was very hard, took me a long time to get going again here. You find a lot of your old friends here have moved on with their lives and you have less in common with them. You also miss that excitement of travelling and meeting new people that you have when you are overseas. Being back at home just seems so dull and mundane in comparison

Certainly don't regret travelling and living overseas but yeah it can be very hard to come back home again.