Health Depression

[nicky]

Life sucks ass

This.


Speaking on behalf of my dead friend I gotta say that this makes sense to me. Life sucks.


Your hormones are all over the place because you have a thyroid gut issue (very common for women who are pregnant or have just given birth - my summation here but stay with me); you suffer pre and post natal depression that doesn't go away after what has been agreed within the timeframes of the medical community so now you just have depression. Which translate to not being able to connect with your beautiful baby so now you have the worlds judgement running a tape in your head about how much of a s**t mother you are and therefore a complete failure at your one true purpose as a female.

You have an over active toddler who needs your 24 / 7 care. You have another 12 year old that is on the spectrum and his school calls you in every day to resolve problems that are not within your wherewithal to fix.

All this whilst running a real estate business.

You drink atleast a bottle of wine a night to cope with a life that is fairly s**t.

You and your partner grossly over invested in the Perth property boom and now, even if you sold your 3 houses you would be suffering a massive loss.

Your beautiful husband is a fly in fly out so not there all the time. This relationship is rocky.

Your doctor has prescribed anti depressants, which god knows how long you’ve been on them for but CLEARLY they are not working.

Although you have a small support system it ultimately isn’t enough for what you’re going through right now. AND instinctively people look for you for support so you're never really been the suppportee anyway.

You have people leaning on you for extreme emotional and financial support to which you oblige because your self esteem is low and you don’t know how to say no because your fundamental belief system is that everyone’s needs must come before yours because deep down, you do not exist anyway.

Your obvious commodity, being seriously super model good looking, is fading which when you are THAT good looking and people were once stopping you on the streets to tell you how beautiful you are or you are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen (If I had a dollar for every time I witnessed this then I’d be able to get everyone in this thread drunk). As shallow as this sounds, I imagine falling off this pedestal society puts you on in these circumstances would suck pretty hard.


So essentially, screaming, overactive baby that you’re not connecting too, severe extended family issues whereby she is in fear for her life and more importantly to her, the life of her children, perception that she is not living up to being a woman/mother/provider, tragically taken advantage of a small girl (not just once or by one monster) and on top of this is severely depressed.

Although she went to exclusive schools she wasn't educated at the tertiary level and is a bit like a puppy, like would get sucked into quick fixes and infomercials. This lack of education hampers her ability to do some research - which i'm not saying a tertiary education automatically provides this or that you need it but in her case her critical thinking wasn't great and needed guidance and leadership which just does/did not exist in her world. I tried, and we had plans for her to move back to melbourne, however i believed we had more time so my efforts were in the form of baby steps. Ie. not even close to being enough, clearly.

For some people life really sucks and given a mixture of shitty circumstances they will want out and honestly, who could blame them.

Not that i've called life line, i fear, which has been validated by some friends, that it is s**t. I imagine it would be trying to resolve a telstra issue with a teenager working in a call centre. No disrespect but what we currently have on offer for people at risk of suicide at best is impotent and in reality, doesn't exist.

There are clinics in Sweden that will assist your suicide even if you're not suffering a terminal illness, ie. depressed. Hooray for common sense. It costs a fair amount of money but just knowing this is an option for some people is enough and actually stops them from going through with it. This is real support because there is an avenue for a dialogue, action and acknowledgement that this existential pain is real and others are going through it too.

Suicide takes place when your pain outweighs your resources for handling it. It could be that no-one is around and you feel like you need to escape a burning building or that you are just extremely depressed and have lost all hope.

In Australia suicide is not talked about because it makes people feel uncomfortable so we have these shitful support networks and systems that are insulting.

 

[Run n Spread]

This.


Speaking on behalf of my dead friend I gotta say that this makes sense to me. Life sucks.


Your hormones are all over the place because you have a thyroid gut issue (very common for women who are pregnant or have just given birth - my summation here but stay with me); you suffer pre and post natal depression that doesn't go away after what has been agreed within the timeframes of the medical community so now you just have depression. Which translate to not being able to connect with your beautiful baby so now you have the worlds judgement running a tape in your head about how much of a s**t mother you are and therefore a complete failure at your one true purpose as a female.

You have an over active toddler who needs your 24 / 7 care. You have another 12 year old that is on the spectrum and his school calls you in every day to resolve problems that are not within your wherewithal to fix.

All this whilst running a real estate business.

You drink atleast a bottle of wine a night to cope with a life that is fairly s**t.

You and your partner grossly over invested in the Perth property boom and now, even if you sold your 3 houses you would be suffering a massive loss.

Your beautiful husband is a fly in fly out so not there all the time. This relationship is rocky.

Your doctor has prescribed anti depressants, which god knows how long you’ve been on them for but CLEARLY they are not working.

Although you have a small support system it ultimately isn’t enough for what you’re going through right now. AND instinctively people look for you for support so you're never really been the suppportee anyway.

You have people leaning on you for extreme emotional and financial support to which you oblige because your self esteem is low and you don’t know how to say no because your fundamental belief system is that everyone’s needs must come before yours because deep down, you do not exist anyway.

Your obvious commodity, being seriously super model good looking, is fading which when you are THAT good looking and people were once stopping you on the streets to tell you how beautiful you are or you are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen (If I had a dollar for every time I witnessed this then I’d be able to get everyone in this thread drunk). As shallow as this sounds, I imagine falling off this pedestal society puts you on in these circumstances would suck pretty hard.


So essentially, screaming, overactive baby that you’re not connecting too, severe extended family issues whereby she is in fear for her life and more importantly to her, the life of her children, perception that she is not living up to being a woman/mother/provider, tragically taken advantage of a small girl (not just once or by one monster) and on top of this is severely depressed.

Although she went to exclusive schools she wasn't educated at the tertiary level and is a bit like a puppy, like would get sucked into quick fixes and infomercials. This lack of education hampers her ability to do some research - which i'm not saying a tertiary education automatically provides this or that you need it but in her case her critical thinking wasn't great and needed guidance and leadership which just does/did not exist in her world. I tried, and we had plans for her to move back to melbourne, however i believed we had more time so my efforts were in the form of baby steps. Ie. not even close to being enough, clearly.

For some people life really sucks and given a mixture of shitty circumstances they will want out and honestly, who could blame them.

Not that i've called life line, i fear, which has been validated by some friends, that it is s**t. I imagine it would be trying to resolve a telstra issue with a teenager working in a call centre. No disrespect but what we currently have on offer for people at risk of suicide at best is impotent and in reality, doesn't exist.

There are clinics in Sweden that will assist your suicide even if you're not suffering a terminal illness, ie. depressed. Hooray for common sense. It costs a fair amount of money but just knowing this is an option for some people is enough and actually stops them from going through with it. This is real support because there is an avenue for a dialogue, action and acknowledgement that this existential pain is real and others are going through it too.

Suicide takes place when your pain outweighs your resources for handling it. It could be that no-one is around and you feel like you need to escape a burning building or that you are just extremely depressed and have lost all hope.

In Australia suicide is not talked about because it makes people feel uncomfortable so we have these shitful support networks and systems that are insulting.

Why are you worried about society's judgements? I am a male and believe me we get our own ruthless judgements.

As for your "friend" you are a parent for the rest of your life. Connect in your own time. What is 6 months out of 80 years?

You weren't tertiary educated? You did yourself a favour.

Don't know where you/you're friend is from but moving to Melbourne could be a serious mis step right now.

Don't take anti depressants.

Are you/you're friend in prison? If not don't suicide. Even then there are ways.

Forget the pedestal. It is vanity over substance which 99% don't experience anyway.

 

[Run n Spread]

Social media and the media in general definitely have an impact but I think it relates to how complicated life has become also.

Back in 1945 after the war many people were simply happy to be alive and looked forward to the post-war years where they could build their new lives.

These days I think things just seem a lot more complicated. While we're not in war, there's a ton of doom and gloom out there, there's a lot of people in the world and I think a lot of people just get consumed by it all. Relating it back to media, TV etc and social, that definitely also impacts on the amount of pressure there is on everyone to become something. As a kid growing up in the dawn of this new social media era at times it can definitely feel like you're failing if you're simply living an ordinary life.

There is doom and gloom because s**t has hit the fan. You would be stupid to ignore it.

But life is good. We live in 2017 not 1945 and we are all alive. We are alive in 2017. Live it.

Pressure= Social Judgement. But why do you care what a bunch of people you don't like anyway think of you?

Make whatever money you can/do whatever job you can/ white knuckle it then live. Travel anywhere you can. Wherever a deal is going and you can afford do.

 

[Jcpdragonx]

Your 100% correct, it can be the feeling of being excluded and not being part of certain events. This is why social media is crucial to depression or lack of, if you can seperate social media from your feelings then you will manage but too many people feel empty as a result without realising why.

I kinda felt this way for a while until the point where once I did get invited to something I usually missed out on, I found it really did nothing for me and just got on with whatever I was focusing on, like uni, sport and just trying things. The more someone feels like they need something the more anxiety it causes.

 

[Run n Spread]

Not sure what evidence there is of people being happier in the late 40's. If you were a woman, gay or ethnic things were pretty rough. If you did have any issues there weren't many resources to help you out.

I agree a bit on the social media side of things. Probably a computer thing in general really. Sedentary lifestyle plays a big part.

There still aren't any resources to help you. Granted society has helped and been accepting of marginalised women and the gay community. (A major major advancement the best of the last 50 years). But try been a regular main stream drone who can't fit in and has literally collapsed on the job. And makes * all money. See the real help available then.

Try starting from scratch post 30. See the real world at its core.

There is a reason we still have homelessness, crime and mayhem (in Australia at least).

 

[Catfish Alley]

I dropped everything and left the country at 30. I haven't found that to be honest but admit I've been lucky. Sounds like you're in a tough spot though so hope it improves.

 

[scotslad]

I kinda felt this way for a while until the point where once I did get invited to something I usually missed out on, I found it really did nothing for me and just got on with whatever I was focusing on, like uni, sport and just trying things. The more someone feels like they need something the more anxiety it causes.

That's good that you got a chance to go and now that you know it's not for you, you know your not missing out. You wouldn't have known had you not attended.

 

[MKMatty]

Well, I'm back in the hole.

Been having serious doubts about my life plan, I'm not doing as well as I should at uni, despite picking up my studies and really driving them into my head this semester. I feel lost without this aim and purpose. Then learning that one of my absolute idols in music and just everything really has passed. It's ****ed me up good. Throw in my usual issues socially, personality wise and just generally and I'm feeling pretty dark about myself. Began to think about how I'd do myself in ok my drive home today. I haven't done that in quite sometime.

The pressure is certainly mounting.

 

[NaturalDisaster]

Well, I'm back in the hole.

Been having serious doubts about my life plan, I'm not doing as well as I should at uni, despite picking up my studies and really driving them into my head this semester. I feel lost without this aim and purpose. Then learning that one of my absolute idols in music and just everything really has passed. It's ****** me up good. Throw in my usual issues socially, personality wise and just generally and I'm feeling pretty dark about myself. Began to think about how I'd do myself in ok my drive home today. I haven't done that in quite sometime.

The pressure is certainly mounting.

Hey mate, youre not alone in this. I've been in a pretty dark place this whole week. I used this place as an escape a lot especially the stresses of uni.

Concentration and motivation levels are currently at an all time low, I am finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on one thing for more than ten minutes

 

[MKMatty]

Hey mate, youre not alone in this. I've been in a pretty dark place this whole week. I used this place as an escape a lot especially the stresses of uni.

Concentration and motivation levels are currently at an all time low, I am finding it more and more difficult to concentrate on one thing for more than ten minutes

Yep, I can definitely empathize with that. I'm trying my gut out for no return. I feel absolutely blown away by any of my peers, like I've wasted a few years of my life in a degree I'm not fit to finish. Completely aimless.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Yep, I can definitely empathize with that. I'm trying my gut out for no return. I feel absolutely blown away by any of my peers, like I've wasted a few years of my life in a degree I'm not fit to finish. Completely aimless.

Tough spot. Really rough. Are you seeing anyone? If so, try and get in quickly. If not, maybe now is a good time to start.

Hopefully this is ituational and you'll come out the other side. Just about everyone has second guesses and doubts about their degree at some stage. Uni isn't supposed to be easy, and 17 or 18 is a very young age to be mapping out the rest of your life (which you aren't really doing when you choose a degree, but it can seem like it). Some of your peers might be getting better grades than you, they get noticed. Others may well be struggling along barely passing with the occasional fail, they just aren't the ones to say much during classes.
The thing is, after a year or two in the job market whether you get a Distinction in everything or barely scraped through to get a degree makes absolutely no difference. It can to getting a better grad job, but after that its work performance that counts. For some people its hard not to compare yourself with the best, especially when depression hits and all the self-doubt builds ridiculously, but its not necessary to be with them.

Uni is just one means to an end. Even with a degree, you may well end up chasing careers that have nothing to do with your studies. A lot of those options are available without a degree as well. A lot changes between starting uni - especially straight out of school - and graduating, including the path you want to take. Yes, having that bit of paper is better than not having it, but its not make or break for life. That (and this where many with depression struggle, myself very much included) comes with attitude (and luck).

Anyway, here's hoping its just a rough patch that you get through quickly and build from. Exams are soon (yeah, I know, stress; but the point is the break afterwards). After that if you still feel the same way, while there is a break at uni, maybe take stock and reassess all the options (continue as is, cut back a unit, take a semester off to sit on a beach in Thailand, change courses, etc). But if you do that, talk it through with someone (better still, some few).

 

[Faz 2000]

For what it's worth, anyone at uni stage feeling the weight of the world needs to breathe, relax, and understand it's a long, long race this life thing.

I have a mate who spent 7 years getting a three year degree, and he's currently earning $180k, building his dream house in a nice suburb for his wife and three awesome kids.

Another close friend took 3 years to complete year 12, ****ed up Uni, and has been in a great job that he loves for 15 years since, owns his house and is marrying his fiancé this spring.

I know this doesn't "fix" what's happening for you, but I promise you - at uni you are YOUNG. It doesn't feel like it, but if you're not doing something you can't take back (having a kid, major crime, drugs, etc), you're also not screwing up your life. There's a million ways to have a great one and very few are "ruined" so early.

Take it easy. Fail some s**t. Get into and out of some dud relationships. Drink too much. Rent a shitty house. Have a shitty roommate. It's living, and you'll survive it, and you'll be ok. I get how much it can feel like THIS IS IT and I'M LOSING or I CAN'T DO IT... But you can because damn near all of us can, and do. It might not be to script, but you'll be ok.

 

[Angus Young]

For what it's worth, anyone at uni stage feeling the weight of the world needs to breathe, relax, and understand it's a long, long race this life thing.

I have a mate who spent 7 years getting a three year degree, and he's currently earning $180k, building his dream house in a nice suburb for his wife and three awesome kids.

Another close friend took 3 years to complete year 12, ****** up Uni, and has been in a great job that he loves for 15 years since, owns his house and is marrying his fiancé this spring.

I know this doesn't "fix" what's happening for you, but I promise you - at uni you are YOUNG. It doesn't feel like it, but if you're not doing something you can't take back (having a kid, major crime, drugs, etc), you're also not screwing up your life. There's a million ways to have a great one and very few are "ruined" so early.

Take it easy. Fail some s**t. Get into and out of some dud relationships. Drink too much. Rent a shitty house. Have a shitty roommate. It's living, and you'll survive it, and you'll be ok. I get how much it can feel like THIS IS IT and I'M LOSING or I CAN'T DO IT... But you can because damn near all of us can, and do. It might not be to script, but you'll be ok.

solid advice

 

[scotslad]

For what it's worth, anyone at uni stage feeling the weight of the world needs to breathe, relax, and understand it's a long, long race this life thing.

I have a mate who spent 7 years getting a three year degree, and he's currently earning $180k, building his dream house in a nice suburb for his wife and three awesome kids.

Another close friend took 3 years to complete year 12, ****** up Uni, and has been in a great job that he loves for 15 years since, owns his house and is marrying his fiancé this spring.

I know this doesn't "fix" what's happening for you, but I promise you - at uni you are YOUNG. It doesn't feel like it, but if you're not doing something you can't take back (having a kid, major crime, drugs, etc), you're also not screwing up your life. There's a million ways to have a great one and very few are "ruined" so early.

Take it easy. Fail some s**t. Get into and out of some dud relationships. Drink too much. Rent a shitty house. Have a shitty roommate. It's living, and you'll survive it, and you'll be ok. I get how much it can feel like THIS IS IT and I'M LOSING or I CAN'T DO IT... But you can because damn near all of us can, and do. It might not be to script, but you'll be ok.

What a wonderful story, despite taking longer than expected to complete their degree they are now in a much happier place, so there is light ato the end of the tunnel.

 

[Glacier]

Suffer from depression as an extension of PTSD from a car accident
The loneliness is the worst

 

[Perth gal]

Feel for you mate. Keep trying and take baby steps. Try and just keep pushing ahead.

 

[Hap Hapablap]

my advice for people who are suffering (someone whos gone through with it)

never give up

speak up to anyone, dont leave it until its too late

leave meds as a last resort but if you do go on them get off em as soon as possible

try to find something you enjoy and keep yourself busy

always remember there is someone out there that cares for you. no matter what.

and lastly dont ever let the social norms dictate your life, getting the dream job these days is a pipe dream especially in the west coast, finding the girlfriend of your dreams isnt gonna happen overnight. the house and travel things will come just be patient.

and lastly anyone or thing that makes you feel like s**t. get rid of it. push them out of your life

 

[toxic]

my advice for people who are suffering (someone whos gone through with it)

never give up

speak up to anyone, dont leave it until its too late

leave meds as a last resort but if you do go on them get off em as soon as possible

try to find something you enjoy and keep yourself busy

always remember there is someone out there that cares for you. no matter what.

and lastly dont ever let the social norms dictate your life, getting the dream job these days is a pipe dream especially in the west coast, finding the girlfriend of your dreams isnt gonna happen overnight. the house and travel things will come just be patient.

and lastly anyone or thing that makes you feel like s**t. get rid of it. push them out of your life

The "Friend Audit" is critical

 

[Hap Hapablap]

The "Friend Audit" is critical

absolutely, you may think theyre your mates but in reality they could be the ones destroying your self esteem and ego by passive aggressiveness especially when they put you down

 

[nicky]

The "Friend Audit" is critical

I third this. Even if this puts you in friends "no mans land" for a while. It can give you time to reflect on things and eventually new friendship doors will open.

Cut off toxic friendships - you don't have to have a ceremony or place blame on the person/people. Just don't hang around with people that leave you feeling bad. If your family does this then minimise contact with them as much as possible.

Hanging around toxic people will only make you feel lonely, even more lonely that hanging around by yourself because when you hang around with toxic parasites you are putting yourself in a s**t position therefore you can't even rely on yourself to do the right thing by you (if this makes sense). It is less lonely to have no-one because atleast you know that you can rely on yourself to look out for you, so therefore you have one friend, you...

lol, that sounds so cliche, but it's true

 

[Angus Young]

cut out alcohol...well getting drunk, binge drinking etc... the strain alcohol has on mental heath is underestimated

exercise frequently and eat right.... walking out of the gym after vigorous exercise you should feel a million dollars

get a good nights sleep

hang around with good people

have goals and work towards them

 

[Footy_Fumbla]

First of all thankyou to those of you who have opened up and given us an insight into what is one of the worst diseases i have been through.

For me i never even thought that i or anyone i know would have ever had to deal with this.

I first caught the monster trying to escape in late 2016 and it was a quick decent into what can only be described as a haze of nothing but hatred for myself.
Depression is now a major part of my life and because of it i have lost close friends and some very dear family members...... YES people always tell you to help yourself and make sure you put yourself first and things along those lines but it still feels as though you are not getting anywhere but deeper in s**t.
Everyday i wake up i wonder why i continue to breathe, why am i here when i dont deserve to be? My head is filled with short bursts of pictures like the cartoon ztripz in the paper and they shoow me hanging from a tree which i tried to do, they show me laughing as my body flinches and kicks out at the horrible person i had become.
I shake uncontrollably at times, i sweat profusely at times, i smile to appease others even though i dont care what they think of me, i react unexplainably even for minor things.
I am what i never wanted to be, due to something we have no cure for, not even the ect or the meds they put me on stop me from thinking of things NORMALS wouldnt ever dream of.
My nightmare has ben the past few months trying to make it through a day at a time and watch as others around me pass away due to their struggle and listen to people tell me ill be ok if i just try harder. I try every single day not to kill myself, every single day,.... everyday.

Imagine a plastic bag over your head and its pulled tight, you cant breath, you start to fade, but then the bag loosens and you come back from the brink. Repeat this process over and over for months and youll be about a tenth of the way towards what we go through.

The biggest enemy of the depressed isnt life, its the thoughts we live with.

 

[Perth gal]

First of all thankyou to those of you who have opened up and given us an insight into what is one of the worst diseases i have been through.

For me i never even thought that i or anyone i know would have ever had to deal with this.

I first caught the monster trying to escape in late 2016 and it was a quick decent into what can only be described as a haze of nothing but hatred for myself.
Depression is now a major part of my life and because of it i have lost close friends and some very dear family members...... YES people always tell you to help yourself and make sure you put yourself first and things along those lines but it still feels as though you are not getting anywhere but deeper in s**t.
Everyday i wake up i wonder why i continue to breathe, why am i here when i dont deserve to be? My head is filled with short bursts of pictures like the cartoon ztripz in the paper and they shoow me hanging from a tree which i tried to do, they show me laughing as my body flinches and kicks out at the horrible person i had become.
I shake uncontrollably at times, i sweat profusely at times, i smile to appease others even though i dont care what they think of me, i react unexplainably even for minor things.
I am what i never wanted to be, due to something we have no cure for, not even the ect or the meds they put me on stop me from thinking of things NORMALS wouldnt ever dream of.
My nightmare has ben the past few months trying to make it through a day at a time and watch as others around me pass away due to their struggle and listen to people tell me ill be ok if i just try harder. I try every single day not to kill myself, every single day,.... everyday.

Imagine a plastic bag over your head and its pulled tight, you cant breath, you start to fade, but then the bag loosens and you come back from the brink. Repeat this process over and over for months and youll be about a tenth of the way towards what we go through.

The biggest enemy of the depressed isnt life, its the thoughts we live with.

Chin up mate, I've been there. Keep trying new things to get better.

 

[nicky]

Chin up mate, I've been there. Keep trying new things to get better.

?

chin up? is a bit hard to do when you can't get out of bed with debilitating depression.

If he has some energy then yes, try good things but if he is suffering clinical depression then chinning up won't work.

 

[Perth gal]

Sigh.