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What happens to the Lord of the Rings movies if Peter Jackson pops off before they're all done? Will they do a Stanley Kubrik? Who would take over? Here's my worst case scenario.
Jackson is killed in a bizarre orc-related incident in November 2002. Speilberg takes over and decides there aren't enough chase scenes in the Two Towers, so he includes a sequence where Merry and Pippin find a magic carpet and are pursued by the Nazgul. The chase sequence is to be reprised in the third film, but fate intervenes...
Before post editing is complete Speilberg is decapitated by a crazed Ent, and the direction role falls to Disney studios. They develop the kids angle by including a small dog called Fluffy whose unsuspected magic powers play a major role in the battle of the Hornburg.
The entire Disney team is wiped out in a devasting comet strike, and George Lucas weighs in. All female characters are rescripted and dubbed with voices sampled from McDonalds counter staff; the first two episodes are re-edited to include a digitally inserted Jabba the Hutt; Gandalf is shrunk to 1/6th size and tinted green, and equipped with a glowing retractible sword.
However halfway through The return of the King Lucas chokes on his lembas, and John Woo takes over. The Rohirrim are dressed as Ninjas, and the seige of Minas Tirith now includes and extensive unarmed combat scene between Denethor (played by Jackie Chan) and the "Tenth Nazgul", complete with wirefighting, treewalking and extremely bad dubbing.
A succesful court challenge sees Woo replaced by a ressurected Peter Greenaway, who discards the script altogether and closes the film with Frodo conducting a marriage between Sam and Gollum, while the rest of the Fellowship wallows in a vat of chocolate and pig entrails.
Jackson is killed in a bizarre orc-related incident in November 2002. Speilberg takes over and decides there aren't enough chase scenes in the Two Towers, so he includes a sequence where Merry and Pippin find a magic carpet and are pursued by the Nazgul. The chase sequence is to be reprised in the third film, but fate intervenes...
Before post editing is complete Speilberg is decapitated by a crazed Ent, and the direction role falls to Disney studios. They develop the kids angle by including a small dog called Fluffy whose unsuspected magic powers play a major role in the battle of the Hornburg.
The entire Disney team is wiped out in a devasting comet strike, and George Lucas weighs in. All female characters are rescripted and dubbed with voices sampled from McDonalds counter staff; the first two episodes are re-edited to include a digitally inserted Jabba the Hutt; Gandalf is shrunk to 1/6th size and tinted green, and equipped with a glowing retractible sword.
However halfway through The return of the King Lucas chokes on his lembas, and John Woo takes over. The Rohirrim are dressed as Ninjas, and the seige of Minas Tirith now includes and extensive unarmed combat scene between Denethor (played by Jackie Chan) and the "Tenth Nazgul", complete with wirefighting, treewalking and extremely bad dubbing.
A succesful court challenge sees Woo replaced by a ressurected Peter Greenaway, who discards the script altogether and closes the film with Frodo conducting a marriage between Sam and Gollum, while the rest of the Fellowship wallows in a vat of chocolate and pig entrails.
