Certified Legendary Thread Duritz in "Annoy a corporate"

[Duritz]

Sick of all these European corporate scum, so decided to annoy one. This was with Ladbrokes. Feel free to do your own:

Me: bet types

Just a moment...

Before we begin, can you please confirm username and date of birth?

Jessica: Hello, my name is Jessica.

Me: madpunter *********
Hi Jessica, my name is madpunter

Jessica: Thanks
What can I do for you

Me: I am currently awaiting the reopening of my account, and I have a question about it: I really like the look of this "odds boost" product, and I am wondering if I will be eligible?

Jessica: When did you request your account to be reopened?

Me: a week ago, I have sent all the documentation through

Jessica: Oh OK not a problem. just trying to tack that down for you.
Unfortunately you will not be eligible for odds boosts on your account

Me: really? how come? I thought it sounded great, you click on the horse and you get extra

Jessica: Unfortunately the bookmakers have made the decision to not offer this for your account

Me: bugger... another question then, will I be able to get regular best tote?

IE, not odds boosted?
hello...? Are you there Jessica? It's me, madpunter

Jessica: Sorry just getting clarification from a supervisor. Wont be much longer
Your re-open request and NSW Racing Legislation forms are currently under review by our bookmakers. As previously advised with your earlier chat with Ben, you will only be eligible for Fixed Odds on NSW Racing. Please refer to racingnsw.com.au/default.aspx as to what your entitled to.

Me: Yes I was talking with Ben but he wasn't responding, I think we were disconnected
so just fixed odds NSW? He didn't say that at the time. In fact he'd stopped saying anything.

Jessica: Oh OK well I apologise for that. But yes as just advised when your account is reopened you will only be eligible for fixed odds for NSW Racing.
Please refer to the original email as well for information

Me: what about the Melbourne Cup, can I have a bet on the Melbourne Cup when it comes up?

Jessica: No NSW Racing only.

Me: oh, well what if the Melbourne Cup is run at Randwick one time?

Jessica: Is there anything else that I can help you with?

Me: yes there is
what about sports betting? Can I get odds boost on that?
like say I wanted to back the Lions to win the grand final, can I get an odds boost? or Craig Starcevich to win the Brownlow?

Jessica: No. As previously advised no odds boost will be available on your account

Me: oh, but I can still bet on sports?

Jessica: The only thing your account will be eligible for is NSW Racing

Me: oh, not sports at all?
what about NSW sports?

Jessica: No sports at all. Your account has been closed with ladbrokes.com.au/?a=574141&c=2 - due to NSW state laws to operator within their state all corporate bookmakers now have to offer NSW racing to clients. The legislation implemented by your government does not relate to sports, promotional products or racing that takes place outside of NSW
once your paperwork has been processed you will be notified by our bookmakers and your account will be reopened only to wager on NSW racing

Me: oh, OK, so all I can bet on is NSW horse racing, harness racing and greyhound racing, is that what you're saying?

Jessica: It is only applicable to NSW Thoroughbred racing

Me: oh, horse racing only

Jessica: Thoroughbred racing only

Me: what about overseas horse racing?

Jessica: NSW Thoroughbred Horse Racing Only

Me: Oh, not overseas
OK last question -
I understand that I can only bet on NSW Thoroughbred Horse racing, not harness, not greyhound, not quarter horse, not standard bred, not football, not soccer, not ping pong, not the world championship of chess, so my question is this:
can I bet on basketball?

Jessica: Thank you for using Ladbrokes Live Chat. Please do not hesitate to contact us as required if we can be of any further assistance.
Thank you for contacting us.
Chat session disconnected.

 

[year of the cat]

You have far too much time on your hands

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

Poor Jessica. Just a girl trying to do her job. Her patience was first class.

Employee of the month.

 

[iluvparis]

Lost it here

oh, well what if the Melbourne Cup is run at Randwick one time?

 

[Duritz]

Richard Br has joined this chat.

Richard Br Hello, welcome to bet365 live chat. How may I help you? Please include your four-digit security number if you want to talk about something specific to your account.

Cameron Hi, my pin is I think ****

Richard Br Thanks Cameron, how can I help you today ?

Cameron I would like to know if I can be allowed to bet more than a few dollars on Victorian, QLD, WA etc racing again please

Richard Br The maximum stake available for a selection can be seen by clicking 'Bet Max' on your Bet Slip after making a selection. To request a larger bet, increase the Stake/To Win value and click 'Place Bet'. The amount by which this figure exceeds Bet Max will be referred to a Trader.

Cameron yes, but my account has been marked as having a very small target only allowed, I would like to change that if I can please

Richard Br This is a trading decision and can not be changed.

Cameron you see when the account was marked as such I was placing some bets for a friend of mine who is a really smart punter, but we are not friends anymore because we had a fight, and now I am betting just for me and I am just a bit of a mug punter you see, so I think it should be changed

Cameron hello?

Richard Br bet365 will monitor customers’ accounts on a regular basis, if we deem that the account is unprofitable over the long term irrespective of if the account is up or down, then we may look to restrict the amount a customer is allowed.

Cameron what if I write an email to Samuel L. Jackson do you think maybe that would help?

Richard Br If you carry on placing bets on what ever it allows you then in about a month or so contact us back and we can send the account for review.

Cameron I've seen all his movies

Cameron oh OK that makes sense

Cameron so I place lots of bets and if they all lose I can put more on?

Richard Br Whether they win or lose.

Cameron so even if they win after a month I can put more on?

Richard Br I can not give an accurate time frame for a review.

Cameron oh I just noticed your name, is your last name Branson?

Richard Br Do you have further questions ?

Cameron oh right sorry, yes I have another question

Cameron can I have a free bet?
Cameron maybe if I put in $1000 could I get a matched $1000 free bet or something?

Richard Br You can check the your account for any offers which are available to you, simply go to Services in the top right corner of our website, click on Members, choose Offers then Sports and select Offers Available.

Cameron can't see any free bets there

Cameron would bet365 be interested in paying me a wage to be an analyst from home? I wouldn't need supervision

Richard Br If there become and bonuses available you will be sent an email.

Richard Br All jobs available can be found at the bottom of the website by clicking on Careers.

Richard Br Then click on current vacancies.

Cameron oh right OK then

Richard Br There is jobs available for Australia residents.

Cameron does Samuel L. Jackson work from home?

Richard Br Am sure he works all of your country.

Cameron I'm not sure what that means, it's not very good English

Cameron still no free bet there, did you say they'd email?

Richard Br If there is any bonuses available for you would have an email from us.

Cameron oh right OK. I have to go now the time is up on my internet and I didn't bring any more coins

 

[X_box_X]

Me: Oh, not overseas
OK last question -
I understand that I can only bet on NSW Thoroughbred Horse racing, not harness, not greyhound, not quarter horse, not standard bred, not football, not soccer, not ping pong, not the world championship of chess, so my question is this:
can I bet on basketball?

Haha. This is what broke Jessica. She has since applied for five new jobs.

 

[X_box_X]

Cameron oh right OK. I have to go now the time is up on my internet and I didn't bring any more coins

Haha.

 

[X_box_X]

Cameron oh right OK. I have to go now the time is up on my internet and I didn't bring any more coins

Haha.

 

[iluvparis]

bet365 will monitor customers’ accounts on a regular basis, if we deem that the account is unprofitable over the long term irrespective of if the account is up or down, then we may look to restrict the amount a customer is allowed.

 

[rideclutch]

bet365 will monitor customers’ accounts on a regular basis, if we deem that the account is unprofitable over the long term irrespective of if the account is up or down, then we may look to restrict the amount a customer is allowed.

******* scum.

 

[Jugada]

What did i just read...

 

[TheExtractorFactor]

Apologies for the errors I've had a few beverages

 

[iluvparis]

No need to laugh at me.

Lost it

 

[iluvparis]

And then absolutely lost it at marry * kill

Bar....has.....been.....raised

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

Apologies for the errors I've had a few beverages


View attachment 223827
View attachment 223826

All kinds of awesome, ive got to do some step brothers to random strangers some time soon, inspirational.

 

[Duritz]

TheExtractorFactor "of course you don't remember, it was the 2011/2012, not the 2012/13", great stuff, well done.

 

[year of the cat]

Thread of the year

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

Craig Starcevich to win the Brownlow?

I lol'd

 

[Gavin Excell]

bet365 will monitor customers’ accounts on a regular basis, if we deem that the account is unprofitable over the long term irrespective of if the account is up or down, then we may look to restrict the amount a customer is allowed.

Why would they do this ?

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

Christ, I'm dying here!

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

No need to laugh at me.

Lost it

yep, brilliant

 

[iluvparis]

Why would they do this ?

To cover their asses. How many 'unproftiable' accounts to them would be 'down' in the long run?

 

[Oraaaaazio]

To cover their asses. How many 'unproftiable' accounts to them would be 'down' in the long run?

I'm not sure but I'm limited to peanuts at SB, my record there is poor (-6.4%) and I utilised a total of $15 of free bets and received $50 in money back promos across the 3 years I've had an account there. I suppose some bookies look for potential profitability and apply limits based on that? If you're showing good bankroll management, beating closing lines etc. they might flag these accounts as potentially profitable and close them before you have a chance to win. Not sure, just spit balling.

Anyway * them all. Good luck to anyone planning to annoy Will Hill live chat, they'll out-annoy you before you get the chance.

 

[Zealbee]

These are all absolute gold. I'm never funny live chatting to them, just on my soap box lecturing them. Threatened to take BetEzy to court over their first deposit bonus bet though

 

[Duritz]

(william hill)

Thank you for choosing to chat with us. An agent will be with you shortly.
You are now chatting with Van.
Van: Hello you're now chatting to Van. How can I help you?
Cameron: Hi Van, are you driving this chat window? Sorry, bad joke
Cameron: Question for you, I have forgotten my username first of all
Van:
LOL good one. Ifind that for you

Van:
*************

Cameron: oh good yes thanks that's it
Van:
All in caps Cameron

Cameron: now I'd like to know what I am allowed to bet on and what I am not allowed to bet on
Van:
Ok, no fixed odds. So you need to pick a Tote everywhere

Cameron: what about fixed odds on Sydney races though
Cameron: are you there Van?
Cameron: or have you run out of petrol?
Cameron: <---- funniest man in the world
Van:
Yes sorry Fixed odds NSW Metro to win $2000 for the win or $800 for the place. In Country NSW - $1000 to win and $400 to place

Cameron: OK, but now if I go to Donald races today there's no tote option
Van:
There will be as we have them up already.

Cameron: no there's no option in either win or tote, if I want to back a horse at Donald I have no options at all to back it, and that's driving me a bit mad because I own a horse in a race there and we've been running it dead for months for this and I want to back it everywhere
Van:
What device are you using?

Cameron: oh hang on now I have fixed prices available that's weird they weren't there before, just one sec
Cameron: oh I see I only have mid tote as my option, can we make that best tote?
Cameron: I don't like mid strength anything know what i'm sayin
Van:
Not at Donald sorry, and yes you have a great sense of humour..

Cameron: OK so what about Flemington tomorrow can I get best tote and top fluc? We have a horse in there too same deal
Cameron: it's only mid tote listed there, can we make that best tote or something? and there's no top flux option
Van:
Sorry you have to pick the tote or go middle there as well

Cameron: that's not very nice, can you put Tom on so I can ask him?
Cameron: tell him I have a tip for him, almost as good as Fine Cotton, know what I'm sayin
Van:
Sorry Cameron, I have spoken with the Racing Manager and that was the information I received.

Cameron: his Dad will definitely be interested know what I'm sayin
Cameron: is it true that Tom doesn't drink?
Van:
Sorry I do not know

Cameron: I read an article what said he doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, nothin, he likes to go to the movies and have a choc top. Not surprised Tom likes the odd choc top.
Van: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?
Cameron: what's the policy on opening fake accounts?
Van:
They would be closed once detected.

Cameron: how do you detect them? you know, for interest sake and all
Van:
Our Finance Dept would be the ones to see them.

Cameron: what if I opened a fake account and lost heaps and heaps on it, would the finance dept close that? seems awful strange for a finance dept to refuse money
Van:
Sorry Cameron, I really must move on to other customers, is there anything else I can help you with?

Cameron: yes there is just one more question please
Cameron: are you there?
Van:
yes

Cameron: oh good, sorry I thought you'd gone
Cameron: I've forgotten the question now
Cameron: what was it again
Cameron: something about pakistan cricket matches I think
Cameron: oh yes!
Cameron: I have a friend who is a Pakistani and he, shall we say, knows some things
Cameron: so my question is this: do you think Donald Trump will be the next president and can I bet on that?
Van:
Sorry on the phone, yes you can vote on US Elections

Cameron: you're having an election?
Cameron: is Tom running again?
Van:
Sorry I mean bet on...sorry very busy here

Van: Thank you for using our Live Help service.
Thank you for chatting with us.