birdflu
Senior List
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2016
- Posts
- 159
- Reaction score
- 248
- Location
- montreal, quebec, canada
- AFL Club
- Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Orioles, Ravens, CBJ, NYK
Well, shit.
When I signed up for this before the season, I figured this would be a low-pressure preview to write for my first time doing one of these. I assumed the Crows would be cemented in a top-four spot and North would be battling for the wooden spoon. That is, to say the least, not where we are today.
So let's talk about something different. Let's talk about the Atlantic Schooners.
I come from a faraway land known as "Canada." In Canada, like in Australia, there is a football league. As with most things in Canada, the Canadian Football League is best described as "like the American one, but slightly different." Much like the American league, there's a team with a nickname that is widely considered offensive to the country's indigenous population, and everyone cares way too much about a mediocre quarterback named Johnny Manziel. Unlike the American league, however, the games are played in Canada and there is something called the "rouge."
There are currently nine teams in the CFL, spread out roughly evenly across the country, with a couple exceptions. The most notable is that Ontario, the most populous province, has three teams, and the Atlantic provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and Newfoundland and Labrador (two names for just one province) have none. The first three of those provinces are collectively known as the Maritimes, and here is a map on which they are highlighted in green.
There is somewhat of a regional rivalry between New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, and particularly Moncton, New Brunswick, and Halifax, Nova Scotia, the two major population centres in the region. The two provinces even have different preferred regional beers, with New Brunswickers preferring Moosehead and Nova Scotians drinking Alexander Keith's. Moncton, a bilingual city whose primary industry is a road that is also an optical illusion, was long considered a backwater, while Halifax was the jewel of the coast, a former fishing hub with a thriving culture and several top-class universities. The region as a whole has encountered hard times recently, though, with its lack of natural resources and geographic isolation leading to a dearth of industry and the younger generations moving en masse "out west," whether to the oil fields of Alberta or the big cities of Ontario. This is what happened to my father, and then to me after I moved back to Halifax for university. But there's something about the Maritimes that inspires pride even in those who have moved away, a sort of us-against-the-world mentality perhaps.
A CFL team has been the white whale of Maritime sports fans for decades. In 1984, the Atlantic Schooners, based in Halifax, were supposed to begin playing, but couldn't secure funding for a stadium. In 2006, wanting an even number of teams and faced with a choice between expanding to Halifax or Quebec City, Quebec, the CFL chose instead to contract the Ottawa Renegades, in the great Canadian tradition of never giving the French speakers or the Maritimers anything nice. A few years later, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, an afterthought in the greater Toronto area, began playing some home games in Moncton, and the rumor was it was a trial balloon for a potential move east. That didn't happen, as a cohort of Tiger-Cats fans seemingly appeared out of thin air to protest, and the first time a Moncton game didn't sell out, the project was scrapped. Now there's another push to bring a team to Halifax, but the general sense in the Maritimes is that, despite all the talk of it being an "unfulfilled part of our national dream," the CFL will find some excuse to once again deprive the Maritimes.
But enough about a league that will bend over backwards to appease every single fan in a major population center while ignoring a smaller, isolated region that would desperately love a team of its own, and a team that perpetually flirts with moving there without ever making any sort of serious commitment. Let's talk about something completely different: the AFL, and North Melbourne.
When I signed up for this before the season, I figured this would be a low-pressure preview to write for my first time doing one of these. I assumed the Crows would be cemented in a top-four spot and North would be battling for the wooden spoon. That is, to say the least, not where we are today.
So let's talk about something different. Let's talk about the Atlantic Schooners.
I come from a faraway land known as "Canada." In Canada, like in Australia, there is a football league. As with most things in Canada, the Canadian Football League is best described as "like the American one, but slightly different." Much like the American league, there's a team with a nickname that is widely considered offensive to the country's indigenous population, and everyone cares way too much about a mediocre quarterback named Johnny Manziel. Unlike the American league, however, the games are played in Canada and there is something called the "rouge."
There are currently nine teams in the CFL, spread out roughly evenly across the country, with a couple exceptions. The most notable is that Ontario, the most populous province, has three teams, and the Atlantic provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and Newfoundland and Labrador (two names for just one province) have none. The first three of those provinces are collectively known as the Maritimes, and here is a map on which they are highlighted in green.
There is somewhat of a regional rivalry between New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, and particularly Moncton, New Brunswick, and Halifax, Nova Scotia, the two major population centres in the region. The two provinces even have different preferred regional beers, with New Brunswickers preferring Moosehead and Nova Scotians drinking Alexander Keith's. Moncton, a bilingual city whose primary industry is a road that is also an optical illusion, was long considered a backwater, while Halifax was the jewel of the coast, a former fishing hub with a thriving culture and several top-class universities. The region as a whole has encountered hard times recently, though, with its lack of natural resources and geographic isolation leading to a dearth of industry and the younger generations moving en masse "out west," whether to the oil fields of Alberta or the big cities of Ontario. This is what happened to my father, and then to me after I moved back to Halifax for university. But there's something about the Maritimes that inspires pride even in those who have moved away, a sort of us-against-the-world mentality perhaps.
A CFL team has been the white whale of Maritime sports fans for decades. In 1984, the Atlantic Schooners, based in Halifax, were supposed to begin playing, but couldn't secure funding for a stadium. In 2006, wanting an even number of teams and faced with a choice between expanding to Halifax or Quebec City, Quebec, the CFL chose instead to contract the Ottawa Renegades, in the great Canadian tradition of never giving the French speakers or the Maritimers anything nice. A few years later, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, an afterthought in the greater Toronto area, began playing some home games in Moncton, and the rumor was it was a trial balloon for a potential move east. That didn't happen, as a cohort of Tiger-Cats fans seemingly appeared out of thin air to protest, and the first time a Moncton game didn't sell out, the project was scrapped. Now there's another push to bring a team to Halifax, but the general sense in the Maritimes is that, despite all the talk of it being an "unfulfilled part of our national dream," the CFL will find some excuse to once again deprive the Maritimes.
But enough about a league that will bend over backwards to appease every single fan in a major population center while ignoring a smaller, isolated region that would desperately love a team of its own, and a team that perpetually flirts with moving there without ever making any sort of serious commitment. Let's talk about something completely different: the AFL, and North Melbourne.
THE TEAMS
TEAM: North Melbourne Football Club
NICKNAMES: Kangaroos, Kangas, Roos
LADDER POSITION: Too high.
EASY JOKE: No fans.
KEY PLAYERS: Ben Brown, Shaun Higgins, Ben Cunnington, probably some more
FORM: Coming off a bad loss to the Bulldogs where they turned a 28-point halftime lead into a five-point deficit by three-quarter time.
FANBASE MOOD (1 - sunshine and roses; 10 - fire and apocalypses): 8
WHO MOST NEEDS TO BE SACKED ACCORDING TO BIGFOOTY: Head coach Brad Scott.
VS.
TEAM: Adelaide Football Club
NICKNAMES: Crows, really just that one
LADDER POSITION: Too low.
EASY JOKE: Can't retain players.
KEY PLAYERS: Rory Sloane, Rory Laird, Matt Crouch, probably some more
FORM: Coming off a bad loss to the Giants where what minuscule finals chances they had left evaporated.
FANBASE MOOD (1 - sunshine and roses; 10 - fire and apocalypses): 9
WHO MOST NEEDS TO BE SACKED ACCORDING TO BIGFOOTY: Head of football Brett Burton.
THE GAME
WHO: See above.
WHAT: A game of Australian rules football.
WHEN: Saturday, Aug. 18, 4:10 p.m. Adelaide time
WHERE: Adelaide Oval
WHY: It's contractually mandated by the Australian Football League as part of the 2018 home and away fixture.
WHO WILL WIN: It will be interesting to find out.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME: Nothing at all, strangely.
WHEN DID NORTH MELBOURNE LAST BEAT ADELAIDE IN ADELAIDE: Round 21, 2003.
WHERE EXACTLY IS ADELAIDE OVAL: 34.9155° S, 138.5961° E
WHY SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS GAME: If you would like to see which team will win, and also perhaps the Crows will play some young players you may not have seen before.
WILL YOU PLEASE JUST POST THE 2013 COMEBACK AND BE DONE WITH THIS ALREADY:
TEAM: North Melbourne Football Club
NICKNAMES: Kangaroos, Kangas, Roos
LADDER POSITION: Too high.
EASY JOKE: No fans.
KEY PLAYERS: Ben Brown, Shaun Higgins, Ben Cunnington, probably some more
FORM: Coming off a bad loss to the Bulldogs where they turned a 28-point halftime lead into a five-point deficit by three-quarter time.
FANBASE MOOD (1 - sunshine and roses; 10 - fire and apocalypses): 8
WHO MOST NEEDS TO BE SACKED ACCORDING TO BIGFOOTY: Head coach Brad Scott.
VS.
TEAM: Adelaide Football Club
NICKNAMES: Crows, really just that one
LADDER POSITION: Too low.
EASY JOKE: Can't retain players.
KEY PLAYERS: Rory Sloane, Rory Laird, Matt Crouch, probably some more
FORM: Coming off a bad loss to the Giants where what minuscule finals chances they had left evaporated.
FANBASE MOOD (1 - sunshine and roses; 10 - fire and apocalypses): 9
WHO MOST NEEDS TO BE SACKED ACCORDING TO BIGFOOTY: Head of football Brett Burton.
THE GAME
WHO: See above.
WHAT: A game of Australian rules football.
WHEN: Saturday, Aug. 18, 4:10 p.m. Adelaide time
WHERE: Adelaide Oval
WHY: It's contractually mandated by the Australian Football League as part of the 2018 home and away fixture.
WHO WILL WIN: It will be interesting to find out.
WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME: Nothing at all, strangely.
WHEN DID NORTH MELBOURNE LAST BEAT ADELAIDE IN ADELAIDE: Round 21, 2003.
WHERE EXACTLY IS ADELAIDE OVAL: 34.9155° S, 138.5961° E
WHY SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS GAME: If you would like to see which team will win, and also perhaps the Crows will play some young players you may not have seen before.
WILL YOU PLEASE JUST POST THE 2013 COMEBACK AND BE DONE WITH THIS ALREADY:
