Favourite Seinfeld Quote

[fryingpan]

My expectations were correct and Seinfeld easily beat Raymond. So Seinfeld fans, whats your favourite quote, conversation or scene?

Favourite scene would have to be when Jerry comes into the coffee shop to reveal his new haircut. After showing Elaine and George, they both burst into a fit of laughter, Elaine's laugh is priceless.

Quote - When Jerry and George are arguing about George's decision to turn down the first offer for their show about nothing - George's "negotiation" haha.

"So you think that the people are sitting up there thinking 'Hey! lets give those guys with no experience and no idea MORE MONEY!'

 

[Lance Uppercut]

I preferred the old General Board. The one from this morning

 

[0497]

"hoochie-mama"

"serenity now"

"Newman!"

 

[ManWithNoName]

Serenity Now!

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

 

[0497]

"They're real and they're spectacular!"

 

[NICK THE PIE MAN]

"The worlds are colliding!" -George

 

[Hasus]

"This meat slicer cuts so thin, I can't even see it" - Kramer
"Well, how do you know you cut it?" - Elaine
"Well, I guess I just assumed" - Kramer

 

[pinkus maximus]

"These pretzels are making me thirsty"

"I'm very excited about this date. My first date with someone from the pacific rim"

"Who figures an immigrants gonna have a pony?"

 

[apollo_creed]

"This meat slicer cuts so thin, I can't even see it" - Kramer
"Well, how do you know you cut it?" - Elaine
"Well, I guess I just assumed" - Kramer

Best one so far, Quality.

I'll post some good ones up tommorow.

 

[JUBJUB]

One of my favourites is from an episode called 'The Letter'.
It's where Jerry's girlfriend paints Kramer and an elderly couple are admiring the painting.

"I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world."
"I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges."
"His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit."
"He is a loathesome, offensive brute. Yet I can't look away."
"He transcends time and space."
"He sickens me."
"I love it."
"Me too."

 

[fryingpan]

George: I can sense the slightest human suffering.
Jerry: Are you sensing anything now?

 

[Harvey Leadpipe]

"I WAS, a marine biologist"

 

[Silvagnis]

"Hello Elaine."
"Are they the panties your mother laid out for you?"
"No soup for you! Next!"

JERRY: I can't take it anymore! She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I' here, I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in

this contest - something's gotta give!

KRAMER: Do you hear what you're saying?! Can you hear it?! (Jerry puts on his coat) This is a beautiful woman walking around naked, and you want to tell her to

stop?! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard! I mean, think comprehens- I'm not gonna let you do it.

JERRY: (Persistent) Well, I'm doin' it, get out of my way.

KRAMER: (Stopping him) No, no, no, no. You can't! You can't! This is something that comes about once in a lifetime! When we were boys, looking through our

bedroom windows, we would think: "Why can't there be a woman out there, taking her clothes off?" And now that wish's come true, and you want to (Makes a

noise) throw it away?!

JERRY: Look, I'm sorry-

KRAMER: No, I'm not gonna let you do it, Jerry.

JERRY: Kramer, (Trying to pass him) get outta my way!

KRAMER: (Frantic) No, no, no. Don't do it. Don't do it! For my sake! God knows I don't ask you for much! (Pleading) Now, come on. Please, Jerry. Please! I'm

beggin' ya! Please! (Claps hands) Come on! Please!

(A pause as Jerry thinks it over)

JERRY: Alright.. (Takes his coat off)

KRAMER: Yes!

JERRY: ..Alright.

KRAMER: (Moving to the window) Thank you, thank you, thank you. (Sits in Jerry's chair, looking out the window)

JERRY: She's not there!

KRAMER: Oh, I can wait..

 

[IDGAF]

The whole diatribe about the "second spitter "....priceless

SERENITY NOW/festivus

When Elaine wants to partner Kramer to Georges wedding Kramer - " Sorry Elaine , weddings are a great place to pick up .... i must be un-fettered"

 

[patsmith]

"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli..."

My all time favourite sequence/scene in any movie or show.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

"Poor Lily."

George Costanza: I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual.

George Costanza: I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.

Frank Costanza: Many Christmas' ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A FESTIVUS FOR THE REST-OF-US.

Elaine: You know, just admitting that another man is attractive doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.
George Costanza: Doesn't help.

 

[Richmondfan#1]

"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli..."

Haha yes, probably my favourite sequence too.

 

[JUBJUB]

"And by the way, they're real and they're spectacular."

Sidra [Teri Hatcher] to Jerry in the episode 'The Implants'.

 

[Richmondfan#1]

"Poor Lily."

Is that from The Susie? I love that episode.

 

[JUBJUB]

Is that from The Susie? I love that episode.

I think it's from the episode 'The Invitations'.It's the episode where Susan dies.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

Yeah where Susan dies, Kramer has already asked "Lily" if he can be the Usher, she declines when George asks because he can't even remember he name.

At the hospital when George walks out to tell them she has died you can hear Kramer utter "Poor Lily" Followed by all three of them correcting him. Brilliant.

"But she looks like a Lily!!"

 

[Richmondfan#1]

Ahaha THAT's right.

 

[TheGnu]

correct me if misquoting...

"why don't you just TELL me the name of the movie"
"my boys need a home"

so many great lines...

 

[Darealrath]

George: I can sense the slightest human suffering.
Jerry: Are you sensing anything now?

Jerry's expression when he delivers that is priceless.

This thread is making me too sentimental.

 

[ant]

The whole diatribe about the "second spitter "....priceless

Yeah, it's bits like these and the end of the marine biologist which I remember most fondly.

Also:

-when Kramer details his adventures after he returns the pinky toe
-when Kramer blasts Jerry and his girlfriend for getting George to run over Bette Midler; the whole 'My Broadway' bit
-when Kramer asks Jerry and George if they want to go to the beach and hit golf balls into the ocean
-when Kramer tells everyone that he thinks George loves Elaine's mimbo
-when Kramer guesses George's bank card password thingy
-when Kramer describes how he saw Joe DiMaggio in Dinkin Donuts and could explain why he was such a good hitter
-when Jerry and George come up with the idea for the show about nothing
-Jerry telling the American-Indian girl that he's 'not familiar' with the term, 'Indian Giver'
-Jerry getting offended with the dentist using jokes about his religion, not because he's Jewish, but because he's a comedian
-Kramer branding Jerry an anti-dentite, a rabid anti-dentite
-Kramer getting fired from his 'job'- 'I don't even really work here,' 'That's what makes this so difficult.'

Oh so many.....