Getting an Ex Back?

[Binxy]

Really, you have three choices:

1) Accept that yeah you had your heart broken but move on. You will find someone who treats you better than this.

2) Make a last ditch effort. Make a date with her, tell her you want her back. Make it clear she has this one chance to say Yes or No. It's all or nothing. If she says no then thank her for the time you had together and leave immediately. Don't blank her but don't hang around like a bad smell. End it with dignity. If she says No but comes after you again then you are in the drivers seat.

3) Work for it. Make a few dates, but make it subtly clear they are not "friend" dates, that you do not want to talk about other guys she's been on with. Just win her over again with the attitude that you're worth her time. There must have been a reason you got together in the first place, find it and rekindle it. If she gets weird then just accept that it is over. Some things can't be fixed.

Don't play games, always make it clear that you want her back. In all of the above choices you always stay open about the fact you want her back. If she doesn't respond in kind or vacillates then just accept that and walk away. Anything else is just prolonging the agony as she doesn't know what she wants.

Just about every married/long term couple you see is not with the very first person they thought was "the one". You'll find yours, it may not be this girl. Whatever happens, have sex with her best friend or sister, too.

Excellent post.

I had this chick right....long story but yeah, I was going out with this chick and well, for a number of reasons we broke up and I kinda did all that stuff you talked about but no dice - she'd "moved on" - ok......so I "moved on" too.....but after like a week or two of no contact - BAM - Friday night 11:30pm text "How are you?"..... it's like, when she's calling the shots she's all righteous and strong but as soon as I accept it she's like, ooh I need him back in my life but if I go back she's like AHA!!!! and we're back to square one.

I guess what I'm saying is that all women are inherently evil, have serious mental deficiencies and should be avoided altogether if possible - at the very least, approached with extreme caution. Kinda like a power tool - they feel good in your hands and if you have to use one, you're careful with how you handle it, but once you've got it on the bench you pound it mercilessly and then....you put it back where you found it so someone else can use it...and if necessary you might attach a little note warning the next user to be especially careful of "faulty wiring" or some such...

Anyway, good luck matey.

 

[adelaide_40]

you need to stop justifying her actions. the "wanting her back" feelings will diminish, give it time mate.

I agree with this guy if you give it time the feelings will fade and you will find someone better thats worth keeping. I know because I had the same thing happen to me justa different kinda version.

 

[Wrenny]

personally i think you should move on mate i know its hard but hey its life and there are plenty of gorgeous girls out there..

And if u really want her back why dont you even ask her ex how he got her off you

 

[13_Stitches]

hahah, nice. i might just do that. i'm sure it will go down well.

 

[J-Train]

I think everyone can relate to your story on some level. I was with a gf for 3 years and got the shock of my life when it ended, seemingly out of the blue. I was a mess for about 6 months after, always hoping that we'd get back together, and even though I was getting out and about on the social scene, just had no interest in other chicks at all.
Just as i start to get over the whole mess, I got a new job interstate and start hooking up with a few randoms and enjoying the single life again...BAM, she is back on the scene and in my head again. After a bit of "I miss you" and "Why did we break up" shenanigans, I visit her over Xmas and we spent the two weeks like old times....I then return to QLD and am messed up again for another few months trying to figure out if it was the right decision for me to move away!!!

DONT go back, you will only create grief for yourself and there's nothing worse than sitting around punishing yourself for past mistakes or thinking "If only I'd done this....we'd still be together." Dude, she has been with her ex, and four other blokes since you were off the scene, what kind of damage on the social scene have you done? Nothing...sat around obsessing over what she is up to! Live your own life and move forward....things happen for a reason, you'll find someone else!

Good luck!

 

[Rod Stroker]

Kick her to the curb mate.
If you did get back together your relationship won't be the same as before due to this "break" while she was seeing her ex. There will be weirdness, trust me.
She dropped you like a sack of spuds this time when her ex came back on the scene, chances are she'd do it again. Don't waste your time, your no-ones door mat and you deserve better.
Look at this way:
There are 6 billion people in this world, 3 billion of which are female, 1 billion of which are between the age of 20-40. Odds are you're bound to find someone better

 

[Monty Burns]

I know most cases are different but what are the odd's of getting your ex girlfriend back?

Me and my girl broke up about a month ago, everything was going perfect and we'd been together for just over a year untill the easter weekend when her ex boyfriend shows up. They spent some time together, which i didn't mind, but after that she went weird on me and it soon after ended. Since then i've seen and spoken to her a few times (despite moving 3 hours away and quitting my job) and she has be completely upfront with me. She has been seeing her ex but they're not together and she has been with 4 other guys as well as smoking alot of pot and drinking constantly, which is worrying because it's out of character. Not to mention that she got a tattoo soon after i left.

I still care about her and want to get back with her but i have no idea how to go about this. She messaged me 3 days ago saying she "misses me" but i dont want to read to much into that.

Has anyone else been through this and what are your experience / advice?

Mate I feel for you......but this underlined bit is what you shoud be concerned about.

4 guys since you've broken up which was 1 month ago.

She obviously thought she'd dump you - r00t around a bit and come back to you once she was finished with all the others.

HAVE SOME PRIDE mate. You sound like a good bloke and deserve a lot better.

Also - for all the kiddies out there - a chick catching up with her ex is a recipe for disaster......maybe some can be "just friends"......but they were initially together for a reason - and those feelings can quickly reappear - especially after a few beers.

 

[Royal Flush]

This is freaky, but I read a similiar post just about 1 month ago, key similarities:
Ex Boy friend,
Easter Holiday,
Collingwood supporter,
Drink and Smoke.

??????????

 

[H2F]

I know most cases are different but what are the odd's of getting your ex girlfriend back?

Me and my girl broke up about a month ago, everything was going perfect and we'd been together for just over a year untill the easter weekend when her ex boyfriend shows up. They spent some time together, which i didn't mind, but after that she went weird on me and it soon after ended. Since then i've seen and spoken to her a few times (despite moving 3 hours away and quitting my job) and she has be completely upfront with me. She has been seeing her ex but they're not together and she has been with 4 other guys as well as smoking alot of pot and drinking constantly, which is worrying because it's out of character. Not to mention that she got a tattoo soon after i left.

I still care about her and want to get back with her but i have no idea how to go about this. She messaged me 3 days ago saying she "misses me" but i dont want to read to much into that.

Has anyone else been through this and what are your experience / advice?

Where do I begin ...

1) If your girlfriend EVER shows any desire to spend time with an ex then you throw her out on her arse. END OF STORY !!!

2) If a girl LEAVES YOU, then you will never EVER get her back so move on and stop wasting your time. That's the hard truth. They will not respect a guy they can leave.

3) If your girlfriend admits to sleeping with 4 guys, then she means 4 AT THE SAME TIME dude, so please for the sake of the male race DO NOT SPEAK TO HER EVER AGAIN.

4) You are obviously a massive, massive ________ and I am not telling you to be mean, but you need to hear it. Any girl of any substance will run rings around you and all your relationships will end up like this until to learn to be a man.

5) Ask yourself this, because if you are legitimate, I know you must be hurting. Why would you want a dumb ____ who smokes bongs all day and loves gangbangs anyway? I am not literally asking you this question because the answer is obvious. What I am asking you for, is because when you become a man someday (if you do) you will look back on this and ask yourself the same very question.

Finally please do not interpret this in the wrong way, as I do feel your pain mate. I am sounding harsh because females that hurt nice guys like yourself really pisses me off and I guess you'd rather hear the hard stuff from some guy who is on your side, than the twisted manipulation of a whore like this.

If it makes you feel in any way better, I have paid hundreds of these slags back in my time and done it for people like you.

If you want more advice than this I would be happy to chat with you over a beer or something.

 

[Hawks1523]

Forget her.

 

[rusdid24]

I learnt the hard way, and seems like you have too, but just move on mate. I'm pretty old school, girl cheats on me I will never talk to her again. Seriously, it's not that hard to stay loyal. If she was screwing around behind your back, then she is not worth it, and don't give her the time of day ever again.

 

[Scotland]

H2F, the people's poster.

And there I was thinking all Hawthorn supporters were ____wits... I'll have to change that to 'some' now I suppose...

 

[Bosun]

H2F,

Absolute quality post, I do get amused with your trolls..........even the ones about Carlton, but mate you have proven there and then that your a man of substance!!

Stitches take that onboard.

 

[CrazyQ]

Sell her pot.

 

[footyfreak]

Couldn't say it any better than h2f. Was pretty well word for word what i was going to say.

All i will add is that you seriously need to listen to what is being said here mate. Do not even consider having anything to do with her ever again.

Don't even contemplate being friends with her either. Nothing. drop her all together. And do it in style! "F off cum guts" should get the message across that Mr pussy whipped has left and has been replaced with a man!

She is history. If you even try and win that back your subconscious manhood will be analy r*ped on a 24/7 basis by her and the old fella of every bloke she's slept with since kicking your ass to the curb.

Choice is yours though mate. Be a pathetic pussy whipped lady boy who everyone always cringes at or be the dude laughing your head off about her when you have more filth than you know what to do with and she is crying coz she realises how stupidly ____ty she is.

 

[fairdinkum]

What a sad situation. Good luck to you, 13 Stitches.

 

[nicky]

i've skimmed over this thread and the jist i've got is your ex has cheated on you, had one foot out the door whilst she was going out with you, basically fk'd you over.

Why you want to get this girl back is beyond me. Have some self respect. Fair enough in your loneliess hours that you fantasize about her running back to you but draw the line there. Have some self respect and pride. Move on, burry (or preferably deal with) any feelings you had for her and chalk it down to experience, pining after her is nothing short of pathetic, and you are slotting yourself into the victim pigeon hole where even 'maud the mail girl' whose parents are siblings, is feeling sorry for your lack of ability to do what is obviously the right thing, for you. Not even maud would pay people to buy them drinks, which is what you're basically doing. You are asking to be a whipping boy.

DUDE, move the ____ on.

 

[dchawk]

dont do it to yourself dude.
she is using you bigtime and the same will happen in the future!
How old are you? Said two other long term relationships, get out there and enjoy yourself, pick up some roots and go from there, get her out of your system and enjoy life!
plenty of chicks out there who only want a casual root or two so have fun n obviously your ex is one of them so dont get caught up wth her, her family, friends - build a bridge dude

 

[nicky]

My ex wants to get back with me which is exciting news because he lives in bournemouth, SO getting back with him for a month in august will mean an all expenses paid holiday in europe.

What i'm saying is, if you're going to get back with an ex, make it count.

 

[H2F]

My ex wants to get back with me which is exciting news because he lives in bournemouth, SO getting back with him for a month in august will mean an all expenses paid holiday in europe.

What i'm saying is, if you're going to get back with an ex, make it count.

Who wouldn't want you back. You are a hottie, you love footy and your nice ...

 

[nicky]

Who wouldn't want you back. You are a hottie, you love footy and your nice ...

and you're the best, cute, charismatic, fun to be around and your presence makes people happy.

 

[13_Stitches]

dont do it to yourself dude.
she is using you bigtime and the same will happen in the future!
How old are you? Said two other long term relationships, get out there and enjoy yourself, pick up some roots and go from there, get her out of your system and enjoy life!
plenty of chicks out there who only want a casual root or two so have fun n obviously your ex is one of them so dont get caught up wth her, her family, friends - build a bridge dude

I'm 23. I'm not a fan of casual rooting, not that i got it much when i was single anyway. just the whole process of going out and finding some skank then going home and rooting her doesn't really appeal to me. I have a mate thats been doing that consistantly for the last two years and he is one the most depressed and sad people i've ever met.

With my last two ex's i never felt as bad as i did with this one, nor ever wished to get back with them. When i found my last GF she had everything that i looked for in a girl and the time we were together was better than any time i've spent with any girl. I'm clinging on to hope because i know it's going to be hard for me to find another girl, let alone one that is as good as or better than the last one.

 

[nicky]

I'm 23. I'm not a fan of casual rooting, not that i got it much when i was single anyway. just the whole process of going out and finding some skank then going home and rooting her doesn't really appeal to me. I have a mate thats been doing that consistantly for the last two years and he is one the most depressed and sad people i've ever met.

With my last two ex's i never felt as bad as i did with this one, nor ever wished to get back with them. When i found my last GF she had everything that i looked for in a girl and the time we were together was better than any time i've spent with any girl. I'm clinging on to hope because i know it's going to be hard for me to find another girl, let alone one that is as good as or better than the last one.

Good luck then, i really hope it works out for you.

 

[LondonCalling]

Getting an ex back is probably a LOT easier than picking up/starting anew. (unless of course, you really ____ed up somewhere along the line, causing the relationship break up in the first place).

Relationships that went bad are always a head____. Might as well use it to your advantage and put the hard word on her. Chances are, worst case scenario she'll do something that you'll like, that she may regret.

I once hooked up with an ex that I burned majorly, after I had a major health scare, and decided to try and make amends with the few ex's I truly ____ed over (this one, I kinda forgot that I hadn't actually broken up with her yet officially, only in my head, and after being forcefully removed from a Melb Uni o-night party for leading 60 RMIT students into the party pretending it was an RMIT O-Night, I rang her, half blind and told her all about how well I'd moved on, the cute Asian girl I macked with, and why I couldn't believe she was so cut, we were finished weeks ago....or so I thought.)

Anyway, after a nice lunch, and about half an hour of piling on the apologies, I realised she was taking it as me grovelling for a sympathy ____. Can't say it was what I was after, but I went with it, and she blew me. Would have slept with her again, but the crying kinda put me off a bit.

We're still good friends.

Moral of the story - don't be a ____ing pansy. Take what you can.

 

[footyfreak]

I'm clinging on to hope because i know it's going to be hard for me to find another girl, let alone one that is as good as or better than the last one.

And there it is!!!!

Mate, we have all thought this at some stage. You need to realise it is NEVER EVER EVER TRUE!!!! I guarantee it.

This is the reason for 90% of men being weak pathetic pussy whipped boys and staying in relationships/wanting to get back with ____ing bitches. And the ____ed thing is, is it isn't true. You just think it is. And it can ruin your life. I promise you that you will meet chicks in the future that will make you cringe and laugh that you ever thought that, let alone said it.

If you can realise that what you are saying is never true (even more so when this great person has ____ed you over, rooted 4 guys and dropped you at the first sign of an old BF) then you can let these silly wenches disappear and let you go about finding one even better. Might not be the next one, but you will find em and pump some good things whilst looking