Family & Relationships Mates with babies

[Scotland]

There is a flip side to all this.

If you develop a reputation as a 'kid hater' then you run the risk of being precluded from social events which are kid friendly - which may or may not be of concern.

 

[Scotland]

Make sure it's backwards so that you can read it yourself when you're shaving or something.

TRAB PU KCIP!

 

[Miqar_Baqfhied]

There is a flip side to all this.

If you develop a reputation as a 'kid hater' then you run the risk of being precluded from social events which are kid friendly - which may or may not be of concern.

This is already happening and its beautiful

 

[Herne Hill Hammer]

Look on the Brightside, one thing you still have to look forward to. When you're old and unable to travel independently and you start going on those escorted tours with all the other oldies, you'll be able to sit for hours trapped on a bus with them while they show you pics of their grandchildren and talk incessantly about them.

 

[edgie]

One of my best mates has had a baby at a young age (20) and it has hardly affected anything. The only real difference is when we just get together to drink and watch a movie or play games, it is always his place so he can keep an eye on his boy. We still out and still do our hobbies. I think a lot of parents make a decsion that they have to be slaves to their young ones. It is very possible to have an adult life still.

 

[Scotland]

One of my best mates has had a baby at a young age (20) and it has hardly affected anything. The only real difference is when we just get together to drink and watch a movie or play games, it is always his place so he can keep an eye on his boy. We still out and still do our hobbies. I think a lot of parents make a decsion that they have to be slaves to their young ones. It is very possible to have an adult life still.

Great for you and your mates, but let's see how the kid turns out.

Children are a giant responsibility. People 'become slaves to them' because that's what is involved.

 

[Damon_3388]

Not a "no kids" policy, we need a "no stupid parents" policy, I think restaurants should say your kids are welcome but if they misbehave you will all be asked to leave - after paying your bill in full.

This should be stipulated when you book / turn up.

I have taken my kids to good restaurants from the time they were quite small, they knew the behaviour that was expected of them, and they still enjoyed the experience.

This.

My Mum started taking me to restaurants (proper restaurants, not just Maccas or a pub) when I was three years old. As she didn't tolerate any bullshit, and treated me like an adult (rather than pandering to typical childish stupidity), I behaved, and it was no problem. If a kid under 5 is misbehaving, I look to the parents as the real culprits, because they're not establishing boundaries and are letting their child/children get away with it.

 

[Scotland]

No child should misbehave in a nice restaurant (or a shit one for that matter) for more than 30 seconds. You **** up, you're outside until you stop being a little campaigner. You don't stop being a little campaigner, Mum/Dad goes home with an empty stomach, a (paid for) juicy medium-rare sirloin goes cold and the wooden spoon finds its way out of the drawer.

I went for a meal a while back at the local pub near home. It's a nice place with an outside area, separate restaurant part etc. Quite family friendly, in a semi-rural area and more conducive to a nice meal from 7-9 and a quiet local brew than shots, R&B etc.

Sat in the restaurant and after a while a family came in and their kids (school age, give or take) were running laps around the room. Couldn't ****ing believe the smug parents just sitting there like this is normal, acceptable behaviour.

 

[checkraiseulite]

Not a "no kids" policy, we need a "no stupid parents" policy, I think restaurants should say your kids are welcome but if they misbehave you will all be asked to leave - after paying your bill in full.

This should be stipulated when you book / turn up.

I have taken my kids to good restaurants from the time they were quite small, they knew the behaviour that was expected of them, and they still enjoyed the experience.

At Macca's on the other hand, don't go there and then complain about the kids, that is their territory!

In the real world if this policy was implemented you'd just get people going nuts when they were asked to leave, making the situation worse.

Kids under 16 shouldn't be allowed in decent restaurants. I'm not talking suburban bistros or pizza joints either.

 

[sabre_ac]

Its a dangerous precident to set if you cant be seperated from your kids for a couple of hours, it leaves you exposed socially when they leave the nest and doesnt equip them with the necessary tools of independence as adults.

I see no reason why parents cant ask in advance if it is appropriate to bring their kids. They also need to realize that if they do bring their kids and are forced to entertain them the whole time, they may not get too many invites in the future. I am pro kids, however I also know it will be my decision and burden to bare and not something I can pass off onto whoever I see fit. Having kids at adult only events is passing the burden on.

Why bring kids to any event that is going to go late into the night?

 

[edgie]

Couldn't believe once while doing karaoke, i was told to keep it down and stop singing rock music because someone had toddlers there. May as well take em to concert and complain the guitar is too loud

 

[Dont be a lemon]

No child should misbehave in a nice restaurant (or a shit one for that matter) for more than 30 seconds. You **** up, you're outside until you stop being a little campaigner. You don't stop being a little campaigner, Mum/Dad goes home with an empty stomach, a (paid for) juicy medium-rare sirloin goes cold and the wooden spoon finds its way out of the drawer.

Physical abuse

 

[MWPP]

I guess why am piping up is that my fiancé and I have an important social event coming up. We didn't stipulate kids on the invite on the premise that everyone can be as loud, uncouth and unruly as they want, and enjoy the music and alcohol on hand. However, I'm getting a lot of requests from people asking if its ok if they can bring their kids. We can't say no as we don't want to offend - many are family members. Unfortunately a lot of these people fall into the same boat as described above. I can tell they will try to just turn it into another kids parade, and am worried it will ruin the night for everyone else.

Guess we are just a little disappointed that people are even assuming it will be ok to bring them!!!

There is no way I'll be lifting a finger to compensate for them that's for sure. They want a play area/change area/feeding area they can do it themselves, I'll be thrashing piss.

As someone who doesn't have kids either, you should have said "no kids" in a diplomatic way on the invite, if you always knew you didn't want to have kids there. You didn't do this so this is what you get. Your friends have done the right thing by asking, you've done the wrong thing by not saying no and then feeling disappointed about them doing the right thing!

You wouldn't offend any reasonable person/family friend by saying no as long as you were tactful in explaining why (going into how it won't be appropriate or fun for them). It's even less offensive to say so on the invite, or blame it on the venue/rules ie 18+ event only etc.

 

[PP34]

Physical abuse

 

[MrKK]

As I parent I'd be equally happy with "kids OK" or "kids not allowed" on the invitation, but if it wasn't stated then no harm in clarifying with the host IMO. The worst case from my POV would be taking kids and finding out no-one else did, or going to the hassle and expense of a babysitter and then finding out the party was kid-friendly.

As to OPs specific party, the fact it was an engagement party muddies the waters. It sounds like an adult function, but if I had kids who'd had a relationship with OP (eg niece or nephew) for a number of years then I'd think he might want them to share a milestone event.

 

[edgie]

Great for you and your mates, but let's see how the kid turns out.

Children are a giant responsibility. People 'become slaves to them' because that's what is involved.

Yes but some go out of their way to involve their kids in everyhthing they do.

 

[Dont be a lemon]

inb4 Miqar_Baqfhied is cockblocked by somebody's kid at the party

 

[Seeds]

If you're already hooked up then why would you want to bother with a party anyway (unless you're a swinger and in this case its probably best to not invite the kids). Just get a couple of your mates together, a whole lot of alcohol (and other things if that's your thing) and just drink the night away. Parties are boring if its not about hooking up with a random. And who hires a DJ to some random party? Sounds like you're either under the thumb of some chick or a swinger. The Ambrose avatar makes me think the latter.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Are you saying only single people and swingers have parties?

 

[Flash of power]

In the real world if this policy was implemented you'd just get people going nuts when they were asked to leave, making the situation worse.

Kids under 16 shouldn't be allowed in decent restaurants. I'm not talking suburban bistros or pizza joints either.

Why disadvantage parents with the kids that know how to behave, they should not be excluded from special family occasions etc just because some parents can't parent.

Make this standard practice and the idiot parents will either book elsewhere or learn to manage their kids unacceptable behaviour.

I would love a restaurant to advertise this policy. I think they would win more business than they lose.

 

[hirdy_is_champ]

Couldn't believe once while doing karaoke, i was told to keep it down and stop singing rock music because someone had toddlers there. May as well take em to concert and complain the guitar is too loud

A bit like morons who bring babies to the tennis. FFS if you've got nowhere to leave the baby bad farking luck, don't go to the tennis. Its part of having children, you can't always do everything.

 

[Miqar_Baqfhied]

If you're already hooked up then why would you want to bother with a party anyway (unless you're a swinger and in this case its probably best to not invite the kids). Just get a couple of your mates together, a whole lot of alcohol (and other things if that's your thing) and just drink the night away. Parties are boring if its not about hooking up with a random. And who hires a DJ to some random party? Sounds like you're either under the thumb of some chick or a swinger. The Ambrose avatar makes me think the latter.

So you mean have a party?

And, make sure you're sitting down when I tell you this: DJ's are often hired for parties.

If I was a swinger than I wouldn't be ashamed about piping multiple pussies. Obviously jealous. Lack of avatar makes me think its been a while since you've got one away. No your not invited.

 

[kfc1]

I bet quickstraw and bunsenburner have something to say on this topic

 

[FootyJunkie]

The main reason to have a kid would be an excuse to do all the real fun things like sword fights with sticks, throwing honky nuts at things, watching cartoons all day and eat ice cream when you want

you realise that you can do that as a single bloke

 

[FootyJunkie]

Dinner at Sizzler etc., kids expected

What is this? 1990?