Event Noob250r or "The Art Of Stretching A Numerical Pun"

[The Filth Wizard]

Hi all,

The Filth Wizard here.

I just wanted to tell you about a dear friend of mine who is celebrating his 250th game this week, for the Royals (meaning we will likely lose) and his name is Noobz0r. Many consider him my corporate mouthpiece, a lackey of sorts but I'm here to tell you no, that he is much more than that. I've had Noobz at three projects (Dragons, Hawks, Royals) for one big reason - he's a campaigner. He's a reliably funny and biting satirist and a king media component of the league now since S16. He's also achieved a lot on the qooty stage. I knocked on the door of some people across Noobz0r's journey to give a little insight in to their thoughts on the man, starting with fellow nWo incumbent and league workhorse Hate for some stats and words.

Noobz0r
S16-?

Clubs: GUM (17), SDR (37), HAW (38), GCR (49), SCS (108)


Mobbenfuhrer Medal (S23)
x3 All-SFA Selections (S18, S24, S26)
Premiership Player (S19)
Gumbies FFC Captain (S24)
East Side Hawks Leading Goalkicker (S26)

Highest DreamTeam Points:
133 DT Points - Season 23, Round 16 - (Sin City Swamprats) vs. Mount Buller Demons
100+ DreamTeam Points:
x15 occasions
Highest Disposals:
34 Disposals - Season 23, Round 11 - (Sin City Swamprats) vs. East Side Hawks
20+ Disposals:
x46 occasions
Highest Goals:
6 Goals - x3 occasions
5+ Goals:
x7 occasions
Highest Tackles:
12 Tackles - Season 23, Round 09 - Las Vegas Bears vs (Sin City Swamprats)​

Hate: Congratulations on playing career game 250 this weekend, Noobz0r. I often marvel at your resume. A Mobbenfuhrer Medallist, Premiership Player (I am still seeing a chiropractor), and a star off-the-field who is worthy of those All-Sweet F.A selections. The most impressive thing though, is that you were a captain of the Gumbies FFC. There is no braver act as far as everyone in the league is concerned. Well done on a stellar career, and here is to 250 more. You now join a group of special players who have played 250+ games. Players like... Headless.


I took the opportunity to not only spend some time with some of his former teammates but also with some of those across his time he has butted heads with, including our current admin and also some of the fine folk from the famed Bombers v Hawks rivalry of seasons past. Let's dig in:

wow

We haven't always had the most secure relationship. Noobz0r was one of the first to welcome me to the Swamprats after S17:

Outstanding first post Ant Bear! You're a natural.

Don't touch the west side.

He was then vice captain for my first season before buggering off in the middle of the night with some other floozy to the Dragons, leaving spookism a foetal, blubbering mess on the floor.

Reunited at the Swamprats in S22, we saw the best of the handsome man, but he was so nearly whisked away in a drunken stupour by an evil megalomaniac just before S23 began. However, Millky95 convinced him to stay, and he was rewarded with the S23 Mobbs Medal, before finally eloping with The Filth Wizard to the Hawks in S24.

We have had disagreements and misunderstandings along the way, but Noobz0r has retained the respect that I hold in him, and I am pleased to say that I continue to educate him in the mysteries of creating PM's to this very day.

Congratulations on 250 games, Noobz.

Sure

Noobz, my ex-teammate and ex-MAFS husband. They say behind every great man is a great woman. Since you divorced me I cannot explain your continued success, but upon reflection I'm guessing you settled for brahj... Well in any case, congratulations on your 250th - you have shown your quality and I wish you the very best!

Hey Filthy.. here's my Noobz0r roast..

250 games hey.. a great effort. There's no way this fine achievement could have occured without the support of great team mates. Yep, the team mates who have tolerated you on a daily basis over your 250 memorable games are the real heroes here.

Weve shared some memorable moments haven't we.

I remember that time we......
Or the time you said....ummm....
Or that game when...hmmm.

Actually, we havent had too much interaction that hasnt involved vastly different points of view.
Now I admit I have tried at times to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my own arse to get a proper understanding

Congrats Noobz, you are one of the elite 'black hats' in this wonderfully weird world of the SFA. All the best pal..

View attachment 874603

Dear AFP,

I have never met this man and my association is solely by a pretend football league.

My only crime is being a virgin.

Warm ******s,

Blacky

The greatest honour of noobz0r's career was sharing the podium when I won my Mobbs, for me it sucked because it basically diluted the honour for me but I know how chuffed he was. Well done on 250 games. You are so close now to Life Membership. I don't really know that much about your career besides the spotlight you have stolen but you seem to play wherever TFW is so that is nice for you. Genuinely happy to meet but not if it costs me a lot of money. Enjoy the game. It could be your last.

I'd like to thank Noobz0r for selling his greatest ever asset, his desk, to me for a basement bargain price of 10 likes.

Here you go...

Congratulations on 250 games Noobz.
I was asked to say a few words about you on your milestone. Probably because nothing brings attention and credibility to an occasion like a bit of Coach wisdom.

Anyway, great effort to get to 250.
You’re the guy who shakes hands before and after the game, but is an absolute s**t campaigner from first bounce to final siren. Mean and tough. Hard hitting and uncompromising.

Clearly I’ve had the best of the our battles over the journey. But I’m sure you’ve bested many others in the league, with your clever wit, sharp tongue, unyielding attack, and obdurate approach.

You’re very good at the SFA. I always look forward to going head to head with you, and you make the league better.

Do you still play for the hawks? Is the boys club an actual team? Anyway, well done. May there be another 250 to come.

Coach.

I saw Noobz0r at a BBQ restaurant in Perth in February. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my dinner, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my meal I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen containers of mac and cheese in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bowls and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each container and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

He sounds like a real jerk, I retract my kind words.

Noobz0r is a fantastic gentleman of the SFA. Full of creative stories and tales, he has always been at the forefront of quality media production within the league. As he pushes towards his 250th, I'd like to congratulate him and wish him the utmost best in continuing to produce such quality, as he struggles against the debilitating effects from having lost his sense of humour after moving to the Royals.

All the best old man!

Hey noobz

I’m surprised you lasted this long. Hope it doesn’t last too much longer

cheers
Miggs

ps. You owe me 2 pints

Okay TFW, here tis.

I was both underwhelmed and disappointed when I was "asked" to say a few words in the lead up to Noobz0r 250th game. I mean fu** with all the media I am asked to do, the selfies and autographs as if I have time to do this for some insignificant league sh*tstain! What finally convinced me was the fear of missing out, I would hate for there to be a media piece without me in it.

Anyway, 250 games. Thinking back to when I first started I used to get Noobz and spookism mixed up all the time. I used to wonder sometimes about his username Noobz0r or Noob. For most you would think this is a slight pisstake, underplaying the real him. Yet ironically for Noobz0r I think he is actually overplaying his hand!

Some memories for me of the great man include my first Royal Rumble that he hosted. What an absolute ******* utensil up. In the end I got so bored with watching him fumble his ******* way through I asked for miggs to mercy kill me out of the Rumble so I did not have to participate any more.

I loved the e Safety Commish alt. Was one of the funnier things I have seen in my time here. An absolute cracker and extremely clever and witty. It was probably someone else that did it in hindsight.

In closing the bloke you see on the field and on the board is far different to the one away from the spotlight. I have enjoyed many conversations with Noobz over the years in PM and I know this place would be far worse off without him. Don't ever change mate and I look forward to 250+ more of this s**t!

Tony xoxo.

"I want a refund"

Hi Noobz,

Notching up 250 games is a great achievement, especially given the company you keep. Congratulations.

Who's a good boy?

You. You are a good boy.

My plan was to take what he wrote about my 250th and change the names around.
I didn't have to change any names.

And that's it. Everybody I asked at least responded so that's ok. Too many, if anything.

Congrats on 250 mate and let's see many many more.

 

[ClarkeM]

Good title.

Well done Noobz on 250.

 

[NaturalDisaster]

One of the first to genuinely wind me up when I was a newbie and one of the best posters on the league at his best. Congrats on 250 games ya campaigner

 

[Matera92]

Word is that The Filth Wizard has commissioned an art piece to commemorate this wonderful occasion






























































































(Congratz Noobz, alway enjoyed your posting )

 

[Smartys Power]

Congrats noob.

 

[Noobz0r]

Thanks friends. It's been a fun ride.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Noobz is not a campaigner.

Take the time to converse with him and he is an intelligent, generous individual. Biting in threads when required, genuinely good fella when not trying to bring you down.

The best thing I can say is that I enjoy the SFA a lot less when he's not around.

Congrats on your 250th, I'll pray to the sim god for you.

 

[pantskyle]

I've said all I have needed to say on this issue.

 

[Muddiemoose]

The last time there was a Noobz related thread I completely derailed it so I’ll make sure I don’t do that this time

congrats mate
People seem to think you are a big deal so hopefully I get to find out why people think that way in the next few seasons

 

[jackster83]

 

[Agent93]

corporate

That's a funny term for your bottom.


Congrats Noobz0r. You're clearly more accomplished and entertaining than DemonJim.

 

[Ned_Flanders]

FFS Noobz0r you just had to go and upstage Wacky Tiger and his 200 for the Furies. He has so little in life, couldnt you let him have something???

 

[Noobz0r]

FFS Noobz0r you just had to go and upstage Wacky Tiger and his 200 for the Furies. He has so little in life, couldnt you let him have something???

Not since he began smelling like a rat.

 

[Riviat]

Congrats on 2fiddy Noobz

 

[Noobz0r]

Congrats on 2fiddy Noobz

thanks, you...

 

[SM]

Hi all,

The Filth Wizard here.

I just wanted to tell you about a dear friend of mine who is celebrating his 250th game this week, for the Royals (meaning we will likely lose) and his name is Noobz0r. Many consider him my corporate mouthpiece, a lackey of sorts but I'm here to tell you no, that he is much more than that. I've had Noobz at three projects (Dragons, Hawks, Royals) for one big reason - he's a campaigner. He's a reliably funny and biting satirist and a king media component of the league now since S16. He's also achieved a lot on the qooty stage. I knocked on the door of some people across Noobz0r's journey to give a little insight in to their thoughts on the man, starting with fellow nWo incumbent and league workhorse Hate for some stats and words.

View attachment 875880
Noobz0r
S16-?

Clubs: GUM (17), SDR (37), HAW (38), GCR (49), SCS (108)


Mobbenfuhrer Medal (S23)
x3 All-SFA Selections (S18, S24, S26)
Premiership Player (S19)
Gumbies FFC Captain (S24)
East Side Hawks Leading Goalkicker (S26)

Highest DreamTeam Points:
133 DT Points - Season 23, Round 16 - (Sin City Swamprats) vs. Mount Buller Demons
100+ DreamTeam Points:
x15 occasions
Highest Disposals:
34 Disposals - Season 23, Round 11 - (Sin City Swamprats) vs. East Side Hawks
20+ Disposals:
x46 occasions
Highest Goals:
6 Goals - x3 occasions
5+ Goals:
x7 occasions
Highest Tackles:
12 Tackles - Season 23, Round 09 - Las Vegas Bears vs (Sin City Swamprats)​

Hate: Congratulations on playing career game 250 this weekend, Noobz0r. I often marvel at your resume. A Mobbenfuhrer Medallist, Premiership Player (I am still seeing a chiropractor), and a star off-the-field who is worthy of those All-Sweet F.A selections. The most impressive thing though, is that you were a captain of the Gumbies FFC. There is no braver act as far as everyone in the league is concerned. Well done on a stellar career, and here is to 250 more. You now join a group of special players who have played 250+ games. Players like... Headless.


I took the opportunity to not only spend some time with some of his former teammates but also with some of those across his time he has butted heads with, including our current admin and also some of the fine folk from the famed Bombers v Hawks rivalry of seasons past. Let's dig in:





































And that's it. Everybody I asked at least responded so that's ok. Too many, if anything.

Congrats on 250 mate and let's see many many more.

Wow.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Wow.

That's why I neglected you, because you would make it about yourself.

 

[SM]

That's why I neglected you, because you would make it about yourself.

I was saying wow because that was a great OP.

So defensive.

 

[Noobz0r]

I was saying wow because that was a great OP.

So defensive.

It lacked some Dr Who satire.

 

[pantskyle]

I was saying wow because that was a great OP.

So defensive.

He probably hates Community.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

I was saying wow because that was a great OP.

So defensive.

I apologise, I thought you saved your genuine "wows" for Matt Lucas cameos.

 

[SM]

Congrats on 250 games Noobz, please dis* the rude comments above.

 

[Noobz0r]

ENOUGH

 

[Noobz0r]

Also, David Williams > Matt Lucas.

 

[SM]

Also, David Williams > Matt Lucas.

I reserve judgement until his Doctor Who appearance.