Official Carlton Jokes Thread

[Mr T]

Hey everyone, there is nothing better than bagging the crap out of Carlton so i thought we should dedicate a thread to it. So post all your carlton jokes here.

 

[Mr T]

A Richmond and Carlton fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt.
"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the Richmond fan "I agree" replies the Carlton fan ​

The Richmond fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving. ​

"Look" he says to the Carlton fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival" ​

He hands the bottle over to the Carlton fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Richmond fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car. ​

"Aren't you having any?" asks the Carlton fan. "No" replied the Richmond fan, "I think I’ll wait until the Police get here."​

 

[The Dice Man]

John Elliot on Gameday this morning saying Essendon cheated their way to the 93 GF was ____ing hillarious, then went on to say Sticks has been the glue that has bound the club over the last half decade.

Truth is funnier than fiction down at Carltankland.

 

[Mr T]

John Elliot on Gameday this morning saying Essendon cheated their way to the 93 GF was ____ing hillarious, then went on to say Sticks has been the glue that has bound the club over the last half decade.

Truth is funnier than fiction down at Carltankland.

yeah i saw that what a pisser

 

[Mr T]

Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams.The first one asks, "Oh Lord when will Richmond next win the Premiership?"
God Replies, "In the next five years." ​

"But I'll be dead by then," says the man. ​

The second one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Melbourne Victory next win the A-League?"​

The Good Lord - answers, "In the next five years." ​

"But I'll be dead by then," says the man. ​

The third one asks, "Oh Lord when will Carlton win a game?". ​

God answers, "I'll be dead by then!"​

 

[TigerBabe]

Carlton.



Theres the JOKE!!!

 

[cormick]

A Richmond and Carlton fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt.

"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the Richmond fan "I agree" replies the Carlton fan

The Richmond fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving.


"Look" he says to the Carlton fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival"


He hands the bottle over to the Carlton fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Richmond fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.


"Aren't you having any?" asks the Carlton fan. "No" replied the Richmond fan, "I think I’ll wait until the Police get here."​

Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams.The first one asks, "Oh Lord when will Richmond next win the Premiership?"

God Replies, "In the next five years."

"But I'll be dead by then," says the man.


The second one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Melbourne Victory next win the A-League?"


The Good Lord - answers, "In the next five years."


"But I'll be dead by then," says the man.


The third one asks, "Oh Lord when will Carlton win a game?".


God answers, "I'll be dead by then!"​

Lmao!!!

Gold

 

[Mr T]

Q. What is the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Carlton supporter on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog

 

[Mr T]

Q. Two Carlton supporters jump of a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society

 

[Madtiger2006]

A Richmond and Carlton fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt.

"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the Richmond fan "I agree" replies the Carlton fan

The Richmond fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving.


"Look" he says to the Carlton fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival"


He hands the bottle over to the Carlton fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the Richmond fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.


"Aren't you having any?" asks the Carlton fan. "No" replied the Richmond fan, "I think I’ll wait until the Police get here."​

lol

 

[Mr T]

Q. What do you call a 30 year old carlton supporter?
A. Granny

 

[Foley#41]

Q. What's the difference between Carlton F.C. and an American dollar bill?

A: You get four quarters out of the dollar bill.

 

[tucker777]

Q. Whats the difference between a family pizza and a Carlton supporter?

A: The Family pizza can feed a family of four

 

[Mr T]

Q. What's the difference between Carlton F.C. and an American dollar bill?

A: You get four quarters out of the dollar bill.

Q. Whats the difference between a family pizza and a Carlton supporter?

A: The Family pizza can feed a family of four

haha lol i like it

 

[tucker777]

Q. Your locked in a room with a Carlton supporter, a grizzly bear and a lion. You have a revolver with 2 shots, what do you do?

A: Shoot the Carlton supporter......twice

 

[Mr T]

Q. What do you call a carlton supporter in a suit?
A. The defendant

 

[Mr T]

Q. Why did the carlton supporter cross the road?
A. To start a fight for no absolute reason

 

[Mr T]

Q. What do you call a female Carlton supporter in a white track suit?
A. The bride

 

[W. Smithers]

carlton 1.2 5.4 9.6 15.11 (101)
Essendon 7.5 8.9 12.13 20.16 (136)

 

[lvt06]

Whats the difference between a Carlton fan and a park bench?

A park bench can support a family....

 

[Mr T]

Whats the difference between a Carlton fan and a park bench?

A park bench can support a family....

haha lol

 

[Mr T]

Q. If you are driving and see a carlton supporter on a bike, why should you try not and hit him?
A. It may be your bike

 

[Podge2Flanklin]

Q. What's the difference between a trampoline and a Carlton supporter?

A. You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline

 

[Mr T]

Q. Two carlton supporters in a car without any music...who is driving?
A. The policeman

 

[Roger Dodger]

Keep your mouths shut until Saturday afternoon.