Please help me

[little graham]

.

So sorry for things I might say or do on here. I've lost myself over a number of years and its all crumbling down now.

Please help me


IUB

The best thing you can do is find a private psychologist who believes in talk therapy. You will be surprised when you start sharing with one, how the answers to help yourself are inside of yourself, you just needed to talk openly with the right person.

The truth is that all the answers are inside of you, just with years and years of trauma building up, it's very hard to deal with them clearly.

 

[Rough_Edges]

Depression is not a nice thing, and I'm not sure I want to post all this on here - but you've left yourself open here - so I'll do the same with you.

Years of living with serious anxiety and on and off depression is not only incredibly hard to deal with, but also quite debilitating to your life. Panic attacks come without warning and I'd overthink everything either pre/post an even to the point where I was sending myself mad. I had insomnia, really bad insomnia.

I made life style decisions that made everything worse and near on impossible to deal with. The reason I get so annoyed at people who made sweeping statements about people with addictions is because of this. Nothing made me happy. It was a very difficult time. I was lucky enough that I still kept my job. I come from a well off family, with extremely supportive parents.

it is still a daily struggle for me - at the moment I'm OK, but for how long? I'm not sure.. but I'm comfortable with that. Sometimes life isn't all roses, but it makes the good things better. It makes you stronger as a person.

Why am I telling you about my experience? Because everyone's mental state is different. Everyone's situation is different, and how you're going to get better is going to be different than how I got better.

I spoke to a drug and alcohol counselor, very regularly at one stage. I also saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist. They'll suggest things that don't work for you, you will even hate going to speak to them sometimes - but the first stage to getting help is to seek some which you've done here.

From what I understand from your posts, we are both around the same age, and we have SO MUCH to look forward to.

I'll give you no advice, other than

> people used to tell me to "get outside, go for a walk" to take my mind off it. this didn't work for me. when you're struggling, do something that you want to do. or if you don't want to, go talk to your mum (or someone similar)
> go see a doctor

PM me if you ever need mate. Cheers.

EDIT

Few more things came to mind since I posted

> don't feel bad about crying. for a period of six months, I'd break down almost every second day.

> I tried to self-medicate the worst possible way. this is not good.

> don't listen to people who say "the meds don't work". they might not work for you. they might work for you. but if you hadn't slept for 3 days, felt unbelievably upset and still couldn't imagine going to sleep (this was early days in my depression), I'd be surprised if these people didn't take a pill that the doctor had prescribed you.

> things will get better.

 

[Twoslabs]

Firstly I believe I said syntax error and all:

“Medication though not the be all and end can help restore the correct balance in your mind and allow it to sort through the crap that's going on.

Which I believe by saying “though not the be all end all” means it’s not the whole solution rather it can form part of an overall plan.

Which from the Beyond Blue Website https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/what-causes-depression

Most modern antidepressants have an effect on your brain’s chemical transmitters (serotonin and noradrenaline), which relay messages between brain cells – this is thought to be how medications work for more severe depression. Psychological treatments can also help you to regulate your moods.

Effective treatments can stimulate new growth of nerve cells in circuits that regulate mood, which is thought to play a critical part in recovery from the most severe episodes of depression.​

Which I believe would answer your question “how does the medication balance those chemicals?”

In response to your opening gambit “You wouldn't of posted this without being able to provide scientific evidence, without being able to tell us what the test for this chemical imbalance you speak of is, would you?”

I will say that no there is not a definitive test however even from bodies that refute the “Chemical Imbalance” theory such as Clinical-Depression.co.uk who coincidentally flog their own “natural” treatment admit:

Depression is actually a state of high arousal. Depressed people have higher concentrations of stress hormones (cortisol, noradrenaline) than non-depressed people.(1) The apathy and exhaustion seen in depressed people is a consequence of too much arousal, and the way the body and mind respond to this arousal.

The way we respond to situations (with thoughts of hopelessness, helplessness, anxiety, anger, etc.) effects the emotions we feel which, in turn effect the chemicals which are released.

But the emotionally aroused brain and the presence of stress hormones in turn affects how we think and feel - so it is a ‘two way street’. Thoughts and emotions affect chemical composition and chemical composition affects thoughts and emotions.​

All I was simply was trying to do was as a long time sufferer of depression was offer some support/ advice to someone obviously reaching out for help by posting at 3.55am in the morning that was obviously in a bad way.

Yes I am on medication which along with regular sessions with other professional engaging in “talk therapy” is part of my overall care plan. My psych professionals are in close contact with my work and yes it is an ongoing struggle and each new day brings new challenges and hurdles which I now have the courage to face.

 

[GarnerSmash]

IUB, this is terrible to hear coming from you and I can only echo the sentiments of those in here. I fortunately do not suffer from mental health issues but do have a number of people in my life who battle the black dog every day.

The first step has already been taken. Recognising your problem is the beginning of the journey and then seeking help is the second. Hiding behind substances such as alcohol and drugs is not an answer, does not provide you with clarity and only exacerbates the issues. Try to cut that shit out of your life (which can in itself be a difficult task to manage if you have been using it to cope) and find a doctor or psychologist who you can speak to. Be brutally honest with them and yourself.

Re medication that they may prescribe, some of that stuff can be hard to get off and can change the way in which you feel about everything in your life, including the good stuff, so be mindful of what they give you. Some docs will just med you up and leave you to your own devices. Don't just let them do that.

Ask about support groups. Talking to strangers who are going through the same things can be liberating and you can find strength in their support and your support for them.

Good on you for having the strength to open up. On reflection you may feel embarrassed about it but **** that, this is your life so do what you must to get it back.

 

[Cruyff14]

Seek help. The professionals will offer better advice and solutions to anything anyone can here.

 

[Rough_Edges]

Seek help. The professionals will offer better advice and solutions to anything anyone can here.

No doubt mate.

However, I believe I wouldn't of gotten anywhere without a strong support network. I was luckily enough to have a great relationship with my family and a couple of close mates I could confide with.

IUB made a comment that he wasn't too sure where to turn. Maybe GD can be that for him at times when he's feeling down.

 

[Cruyff14]

Yeah that could also help - but no doubt people who are more 'real', may be an even better avenue.

 

[Rough_Edges]

Yeah that could also help - but no doubt people who are more 'real', may be an even better avenue.

Absolutely.

Talking helps, though. Even to a stranger. With me, I didn't want them to know how I felt. It was a nice release, and it was nice to have the feeling that someone cared.

Again - everyone is different.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

IschenkoUBeauty you can use me as a personal reference that anti-depressants work.

At least for me, as it doesn't work for everyone.

I went to probably 3-4 months of weekly sesions with a psychologist before she recommended I go see a psychiatrist and be given anti-depressants.

Don't get me wrong, the talking helped. A lot. But I was so far into my depression at that time, that the things that I knew I should do, or the ways that I knew I should think... was just something I couldn't grasp.

Anti-depressants isn't the be all and end all solution. It's a mental crutch. It supports you but you've still got to put in the hard work to change your mindset and your life.

I can honestly say I would not have gotten better if it was not for anti-depressants, but also a lot of other people in my life during that period.

 

[chugginon]

IschenkoUBeauty , Feel free to post on here and just talk. See "real"people too, of course, but a wise man said to me once, words to the effect that posting on places like this, can help you spill it out, as you don't have to look at the people you chat to. If that makes sense the way I have written . . We all care about you, mate

 

[Power Glove]

Perhaps you could think about asking your GP about a Mental Health Care Plan:

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/mental_health_care_plans

It may not be the ultimate solution, but it is a start that has helped so many.

In coming to your realisation, you are already on a better track. All the best.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

Sorry for bringing you into this Swooop but I remember you posting these and thought they might help in this thread.

What can you tell us about SSRI's Swooop? Once you have refilled your bucket, changed some negative thought processes, eat well and exercise regularly are they something you can expect to stop taking? What are your thoughts on going down a drug free route?

Hey Quicky, hope you're well

First, SSRIs are certainly not the only option of drug classes to take.
It's just they're probably the commonest ones used.

When to stop them is a matter of opinion.

I guess the industry standard is as follows.

1st episode - stay on them for 6 months ( then stop and see how you go, whilst hopefully continuing the other drug free options)
2nd episode - stay on them for 12 months
3rd episode - stay on them for 24 months
4th episode - stay on them for good - some people are just genetically low in serotonin, it runs in the family and life just goes better on a pill a day.

Personally, I'm more ''easy come easy go'' than the above. I'd start them earlier than some other colleagues ( I don't like to see my patients get too far down before starting them) but equally, when people feel better I'm generally happy for them to come off earlier than the above schedule.)

Staying on for the fuller length of time does probably give a more sustained, consolidated rise and is probably preferable overall.

But then I find with my relative easy come easy go approach, that more people are willing to commit to it and give the tablets a go in the first place.

So it's a balance, but I think the gains of the easy come easy go approach outweigh the possible slight disadvantage of coming off it a bit earlier.

Lots of people have very negative perceptions of antidepressants, they get a bad wrap in many areas, which is pretty unfair IMHO as they do so much good, and so little bad, so the battle as a health person is to get your patient's confidence just to give them a go in the first place. Part of that, is knowing that you can stop them whenever you don't feel comfortable - you're not going to be held prisoner here against your wishes. But I do stress that they take a while to kick in, up to 3-4 weeks for depression, and that's assuming you take them every day.

Also, once people are on it, you can then chat about the possible wisdom of staying on a bit longer, and most are happy to do this as they feel so much better and have developed trust in their medications.

The other hormones involved as well as serotonin, there's dopamine and noradrenaline aswell, but serotonin is just the main one.

I deliberately tried to keep the talk above pretty basic and conceptual to give a take home working knowledge of roughly how things fit together.

With respect EBB, I can't agree with the bolded bit.

I can understand someone thinking that though.

But where there's a lack of a certain brain chemical, and antidepressants correct that lack, ( bringing it back to basics) I don't see that as masking it.

Usually once the levels are restored, the person stays OK, sometimes forever. Other times people have recurring bouts. Usually if someone has a third or fourth recurrence, it then is best to stay on the pills, but the majority don't need that.

But for the sake of this overall discussion, even if your view was in fact judged as the correct one, I'd still be saying, "Well, Ok but so what?"

If a harmless, non addictive, stuff all side effects, once a day pill makes you function and feel way better ( as it does 90-95% of the time in my experience) in your life , either from the anxiety or depression angle, then where's the problem?

People are happy to swallow all manner of vitamin pills and potions that do SFA other than a placebo effect - why not swallow a safe, thoroughly tested pill that ( generally ) massively improves the way you function day to day from a personal, social and workplace level and any other perspective you care to name.

Alcohol on the other hand, is a depressant. When you feel all revved on the booze, it's actually because it's depressing/inhibiting your inhibitions.

I know it relaxes you in the moment, but it's all downhill after that if overused, as it usually is in this context

To each their own, not going to get into an argument here, just let others know there's two sides here to your opinion.

Overall I will say this though. If I was an antidepressant pill, I'd be looking for a new PR agent!

For all the good these tablets do, they get an amazing amount of bad press, very unfair I gotta say

 

[Better Loosen Up]

IUB please go and seek professional help urgently. I've had to do it before and am glad i did.

Whatever you do, don't try and deal with this on your own and don't do nothing.

Like others have said, it's great that you have accepted that you have a problem. Sometimes that can be the toughest step to take.

Wish you all the best mate.

 

[Bosun]

Leaving aside the big pharma/anti depressant debate, little graham did make a very good suggestion with talk therapy. In many cases the best therapy is to open up about your self perceived shortcomings and battles to a complete albeit qualified stranger who will talk you through them with no judgement. That's not really possible with good friends and family.

 

[Doss]

little graham, it is not the thread for it, seriously.

IschenkoUBeauty, I can only echo what others have said. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way, I have pretty extensive family history (both parents, both grandmothers, my brother) with depression myself. I've managed to avoid its clutches but I very much appreciate what it's like for people in my family to live with.

So I can only echo what others have said and say, see someone about it. Talk to them. Talk to people in your life that you can. Talk to people here, even.

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Thanks everyone for all your advice. This is something I'm no longer ashamed to get right. The penny didnt properly drop until I started breaking down. Waking up at 3 this morning I broke down, and have done so a couple of times already today. Theres been times when I've needed to pull the car over to get myself together. I've no appetite, my decision making is erratic and impulsive, no sex drive, no enjoyment in anything really. I never understood it, I used to try and brush it off and tell myself to harden up but I can't anymore. This isn't a way to live.

All classic symptoms of depression IschenkoUBeauty.

Despite little graham being absolutely correct regarding the serotonin and chemical imbalance theories, that doesn't alter the fact that they can be extremely helpful in the treatment of depression, particularly when experiencing neurovegetative symptoms, the more physical/biological manifestations of depression.

As others have already stated, I'd arrange an appointment to see a GP (request an extended session. due to mental health issues). They can refer you to a psychiatrist for a psychiatric review of your mental state and whether or not medication is a feasible option. Your GP can also refer you to a psychologist under the better outcomes in mental health federal government initiative, which allows a number of subsidised sessions with a psychologist under medicare rebate.

Note: as others have mentioned your GP will have to devise a mental health care plan.

Initiate treatment IUB, as it does work and hopefully you can return to that person you used to be (premorbidly)

 

[I Lost My Keays]

Speak to a doctor who will refer you to a psychologist. My dad had depression years ago when he lost his job and his dad dying in just one hit really. He said to me if it wasn't for specialists and people to express his emotions then who knows what could've happened to him.

If you want to talk about anything , feel free to message me

 

[GarnerSmash]

Seek help. The professionals will offer better advice and solutions to anything anyone can here.

No doubt mate.

However, I believe I wouldn't of gotten anywhere without a strong support network. I was luckily enough to have a great relationship with my family and a couple of close mates I could confide with.

IUB made a comment that he wasn't too sure where to turn. Maybe GD can be that for him at times when he's feeling down.

Further to this folks, IUB, I have found that family and friends can sometimes be the most difficult to deal with in relation to talking about depression and how it feels to suffer from it because they may have limited experience and knowledge with it themselves. Therefore those people who you wish the most to help you may not be able to understand the problem in the first place. From what I have seen this can be quite hard on sufferers and the family/friends alike.

Good luck mate.

 

[Doss]

The other thing I'd say is, there are is not a standard approach that works for everyone. Some medicate and find it helps; others find it doesn't.

The one thing that definitely doesn't work is bottling it up. The Essendon board lost a poster (see my sig) six months ago to the disease, and he seemed to keep his demons to himself.

You just never know what talking about it might provoke within you, so IschenkoUBeauty, I applaud you for being open about it and in particular, having the courage to be so- I know it's not easy to do.

 

[Geelong_Sicko]

Thanks everyone for all your advice. This is something I'm no longer ashamed to get right. The penny didnt properly drop until I started breaking down. Waking up at 3 this morning I broke down, and have done so a couple of times already today. Theres been times when I've needed to pull the car over to get myself together. I've no appetite, my decision making is erratic and impulsive, no sex drive, no enjoyment in anything really. I never understood it, I used to try and brush it off and tell myself to harden up but I can't anymore. This isn't a way to live.

How are things today, mate? I hope releasing like you did last night has helped. That took courage

 

[BALKAN]

keep hustlin cuz

 

[Vekgib]

Been thinking of you today.Hope you're ok.

 

[T2B_]

By the way IUB, I like your balanced opinions on our board

 

[Registered User]

This reminds me (if I may make an obvious comment): we never know who we're dealing with when we communicate with strangers on places like this, which is why some of the abuse is so shit. Ya never know; one nasty comment directed at someone vulnerable could be the trigger that finishes them off.
Sure, 99% of us can cope fine, but still....

 

[HBF]

Gotta love how Big Footy really does rally around a fellow poster when they need help.
I can only echo the sentiments that most posters have said. Speak to a doctor and get professional help.

Good luck IUB.