Brain Power
Funding Secured
- Sep 5, 2012
- 2,237
- 11,329
- AFL Club
- Hawthorn
- Other Teams
- Chelsea
Pictured: Darren Minchington in his natural habitat, dining out on kitties.
Geelong fans everywhere are trembling, their britches even more soiled than usual, after hearing the big news story of the week. No, not the taxpayer-funded bailout of the Chinese property investors who bought flammable apartments, which won't affect the 99% of Geelong residents who already don't pay any tax.
I'm talking about the fact that another of Hawthorn's boom recruits (just one of the many great heists we pulled off in last year's trade period), Darren "The Pussy Slayer" Minchington, has been declared fit just in time to make the extended squad for Sunday's blockbuster.
Whilst his overall AFL record is somewhat humdrum, a closer inspection reveals that he saves his absolute best work for the Cats, averaging a MASSIVE three goals per game against them (over a reliable enough sample size of three outings), which is a far better return than Josh Kennedy (1.9 goals per game), Jack Riewoldt (1.7) or even Buddy (2.4).
I'm predicting he keeps his great record intact with another big bag, leading the Hawks to a memorable win. You can practically taste the fear already.