Prepare to be reacquainted with your worst nightmare, Geelong fans

[Brain Power]

Pictured: Darren Minchington in his natural habitat, dining out on kitties.

Geelong fans everywhere are trembling, their britches even more soiled than usual, after hearing the big news story of the week. No, not the taxpayer-funded bailout of the Chinese property investors who bought flammable apartments, which won't affect the 99% of Geelong residents who already don't pay any tax.

I'm talking about the fact that another of Hawthorn's boom recruits (just one of the many great heists we pulled off in last year's trade period), Darren "The Pussy Slayer" Minchington, has been declared fit just in time to make the extended squad for Sunday's blockbuster.

Whilst his overall AFL record is somewhat humdrum, a closer inspection reveals that he saves his absolute best work for the Cats, averaging a MASSIVE three goals per game against them (over a reliable enough sample size of three outings), which is a far better return than Josh Kennedy (1.9 goals per game), Jack Riewoldt (1.7) or even Buddy (2.4).

I'm predicting he keeps his great record intact with another big bag, leading the Hawks to a memorable win. You can practically taste the fear already.

 

[ChappyUK]

Where will the other 17 goals you'll need come from?

 

[Bigeasy]

Is that where Michington ended up. Hawthorn is the destination club...... for spuds

 

[chefmeister]

Another “big bag” of 3 goals huh?

*sigh*
I miss the days of the Lockett, Ablett, Dunstall goal kicking maestros.

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Where will the other 17 goals you'll need come from?

Rushed behinds

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

He will kick a goal after the siren to win the match for the hawks.

 

[A Cut Above]

Another “big bag” of 3 goals huh?

*sigh*
I miss the days of the Lockett, Ablett, Dunstall goal kicking maestros.

but but but

1000 TACKLES IN A GAME!!@11!

damn you millennials

 

[Geelong Dynasty]

This game is the epitome of meaningless.

 

[TAITA]

This game is the epitome of meaningless.

Cool - you win then.

 

[Bayer_]

Another “big bag” of 3 goals huh?

*sigh*
I miss the days of the Lockett, Ablett, Dunstall goal kicking maestros.

Who doesn't? Dunstall kicking a 'bag' of 5 used to be embarrassing among Geelong and St Kilda supporting schoolmates.

 

[maryjames]

Can’t wait to watch the pussy slayer.

 

[Crabapplepittard]

Pussy slayer to 30 and 3. #carnthepuss #upthepuss #thepussyslayer

 

[Mofra]

Read the thread title.
Expected the OP to be about year 9 mathematics.

 

[And_ROOS]

Have the Hawks managed triple digit scores yet?

 

[Beer n Skittles]

The face you make when Minchington is single-handedly destroying your team

 

[Supercoach Bargain]

Looked up pussy slayer on youtube to watch his work....

Got something else entirely!

 

[A Cut Above]

This game is the epitome of meaningless.

Then you won't mysteriously vanish from the forum for the better part of a week if Geelong loses..... right?

 

[TazHawk15]

Have the Hawks managed triple digit scores yet?

No but we did win a triple of Premierships.

Not that a Norf Flog would know anything about Premierships.

 

[chefmeister]

No but we did win a triple of Premierships.

Not that a Norf Flog would know anything about Premierships.

He is a Geelong supporter you utter dunce.

Man you really are as dumb as dogsh*t.

 

[the avoca drover]

Squark bok bok

 

[Reppie]

Hawfs are poop.

 

[Ricketz]

Then you won't mysteriously vanish from the forum for the better part of a week if Geelong loses..... right?

Seriously, the way the rest of you s**t truck teams are going, most Geelollingatyou posters need a reason to turn up.

What's the bet? A Cut Above Wanna take this legend off me for until you can bet someone else to take it?

 

[ChappyUK]

Seriously, the way the rest of you s**t truck teams are going, most Geelollingatyou posters need a reason to turn up.

What's the bet? A Cut Above Wanna take this legend off me for until you can bet someone else to take it?

After a lot of kicking, screaming and whinging I finally got a bet out of him.

 

[Ricketz]

After a lot of kicking, screaming and whinging I finally got a bet out of him.

I want to be able to multi reacticon some posts, Chief

 

[Tyler Durden007]

Rack off Penal. We are going to eat your faces off tomorrow.