Discussion Random Discussion

[gringo2011]

Please excuse me for an insensitive question, and this is open to anyone to answer, but when we talk about 'suicide prevention', what do we imagine, in terms of government and/or community initiative? I realise not everyone can be saved, but I'm interested to know different people's ideas on what can be done that isn't currently.

I reckon one thing would be to teach kids in school about how much the internet is full of crap. It's been well documented how much false reporting went on in the Trump campaign but there was a study recently saying a huge number of middle school student can't identify reliable news when it's on line. Kids live in a world where everyone post pics of great holidays, photoshopped celebrities and a constant negative news cycle and dicks on line bagging them out or trying to molest them. Add to that pressure to do well at school and uni and they probably get superseded by a robot anyway. Someone should be teaching them that all that crap is a waste of time and try to direct them into finding something they can get passionate about.

 

[StFly]

Please excuse me for an insensitive question, and this is open to anyone to answer, but when we talk about 'suicide prevention', what do we imagine, in terms of government and/or community initiative? I realise not everyone can be saved, but I'm interested to know different people's ideas on what can be done that isn't currently.

There is no quick fix, there is no magic bullet, the only thing anyone can do and should do is care and ask questions, lend support, be humane to a human.

So since I'm "comfortable" with it, I attempted at 16, due primarily due to the age where you could still beat your kids and it was fine punishment leading to peers effectively emasculating your manhood for years, because when you are effectively broken physically by family you turn to friends, and when friends turn out to not be such you have yourself, which after years will be tantamount to mud because it's how you were and who people made you to be. You yourself are still a child, you have NFI how to deal with these things, you're going through mad changes and people are expecting things from you and you are expecting things from yourself and holy hell I didn't have hair there yesterday so you can't really vanish into the wilderness and zen.

So you resolve many things, some people like me effectively tell everyone else that we will show them the error of their ways, we will show them that it was them who forced this and make sure it is felt how much of a #$$%%^ they are. In effect a penultimate screw you to everyone.

But then we also bullshit ourselves, so we put out feelers hoping that someone cares to worry about us in our sorrow, angst, anger, etc, and all it takes, is that person actually caring.

 

[Diehard Saint]

So, Peter Schwabb is the new umpiring boss...

I think #freekickhawthorn is going to be reprised next season

 

[austinnn]

So, Peter Schwabb is the new umpiring boss...

I think #freekickhawthorn is going to be reprised next season

The best we can hope for is that he over-compensates like Leigh Fisher does against us.

 

[austinnn]

There is no quick fix, there is no magic bullet, the only thing anyone can do and should do is care and ask questions, lend support, be humane to a human.

So since I'm "comfortable" with it, I attempted at 16, due primarily due to the age where you could still beat your kids and it was fine punishment leading to peers effectively emasculating your manhood for years, because when you are effectively broken physically by family you turn to friends, and when friends turn out to not be such you have yourself, which after years will be tantamount to mud because it's how you were and who people made you to be. You yourself are still a child, you have NFI how to deal with these things, you're going through mad changes and people are expecting things from you and you are expecting things from yourself and holy hell I didn't have hair there yesterday so you can't really vanish into the wilderness and zen.

So you resolve many things, some people like me effectively tell everyone else that we will show them the error of their ways, we will show them that it was them who forced this and make sure it is felt how much of a #$$%%^ they are. In effect a penultimate screw you to everyone.

But then we also bullshit ourselves, so we put out feelers hoping that someone cares to worry about us in our sorrow, angst, anger, etc, and all it takes, is that person actually caring.

A sad story mate. Luckily you were able to find someone who cared enough. One of my best mates took his life in Dubai a while back, in a rough environment well away from his friends and family, and no one saw it coming. Lots of unfortunate circumstances that led to that decision, but even though he had made friends there, it's probably safe to say if he'd been around his family and long-term friends it would never have got to that stage.

 

[Persevering Saint]

For what it's worth, part of my story intersects with youth suicide. See, I gave it a go.

I grew up in country Victoria with my mum, a pretty strong Christian, while my dad lived in Melbourne and I saw him on the weekends. This meant I got bullied at school a fair bit, mainly because I had the Christian thing, AND I'd come home from the city with "city" ideas that irritated the country kids. As well as that, my mum battled cancer for about 10 years - every time she went into remission, our friends would thank God for His hand in helping her (and I have no problem with them doing that, btw). But eventually, when I was about 16, my mum had one last bout of cancer, and ultimately died - I was left asking why God had helped her all those other times, but not this time. I got pretty angry about the whole thing. Then I went to live with my dad in Melbourne, in Highett - Go Saints.

While I was deeply messed up from my mum's passing, and pretty ticked at God about it, I was also really excited to be living in Melbourne: nobody knew I was a Christian here (and as far as I was concerned, I wasn't at this point), and I could finally act like a city kid away from all those country hicks who'd made my life a living hell. So I went into high school there in a very, very, VERY self-destructive way. I subsequently left a school after 6 months... then the next one after 3 weeks. Then I had to do Year 11 and 12 via correspondence, because things had got so messed up at schools.

As well as that, I felt like a complete and utter useless piece of crap: I couldn't fit in, whether in the country, or the city. Mum was dead, my dad was actually going through a divorce from his second wife, so family kinda sucked. I couldn't see any future: with girls, with friends, with school, with future work, with anything. Plus, while I was still angry with God, at least having Christianity had given me a sense of purpose: the logic had been, God created you, so if He did that, He must have a reason, so He must think you're actually pretty cool, and He must have something you can contribute to the world. All that idea was now gone.

So, in a bout of pointlessness, hopelessness, I got a belt, wrapped it round my neck, tied it to a cabinet, and jumped - only for the belt to snap. If I hadn't, well, you'd all have missed out on nearly 14,000 posts.

When Dad came home from work, asked how my day had gone, I told him that I'd tried to kill myself, but couldn't even get that right. He responded with a very loud "WHATHE?!!?", and then my father (who was in no way religious at all) insisted that I go back to church. I told him I wasn't interested, but he said, "I remember what you were like when you had church in your life - and it was a helluvalot better than you are now". He dragged me to the nearest church youth group... then parked out the front in case I tried to sneak out once he'd left (which I did... but when I saw him, I went back in).

As it turned out, the church was pretty fantastic, and the other youth there showed remarkable kindness, patience, with this severely messed up, socially awkward kid. In the end, I reconciled with God, got my life back on track, found my sense of purpose again, and yeah. While that's certainly not the end of my faith story or life story, it is the end of my suicide story.

Thanks to all of you who read that far. I hope this is at all helpful.

 

[NarrowMind]

For what it's worth, part of my story intersects with youth suicide. See, I gave it a go.

I grew up in country Victoria with my mum, a pretty strong Christian, while my dad lived in Melbourne and I saw him on the weekends. This meant I got bullied at school a fair bit, mainly because I had the Christian thing, AND I'd come home from the city with "city" ideas that irritated the country kids. As well as that, my mum battled cancer for about 10 years - every time she went into remission, our friends would thank God for His hand in helping her (and I have no problem with them doing that, btw). But eventually, when I was about 16, my mum had one last bout of cancer, and ultimately died - I was left asking why God had helped her all those other times, but not this time. I got pretty angry about the whole thing. Then I went to live with my dad in Melbourne, in Highett - Go Saints.

While I was deeply messed up from my mum's passing, and pretty ticked at God about it, I was also really excited to be living in Melbourne: nobody knew I was a Christian here (and as far as I was concerned, I wasn't at this point), and I could finally act like a city kid away from all those country hicks who'd made my life a living hell. So I went into high school there in a very, very, VERY self-destructive way. I subsequently left a school after 6 months... then the next one after 3 weeks. Then I had to do Year 11 and 12 via correspondence, because things had got so messed up at schools.

As well as that, I felt like a complete and utter useless piece of crap: I couldn't fit in, whether in the country, or the city. Mum was dead, my dad was actually going through a divorce from his second wife, so family kinda sucked. I couldn't see any future: with girls, with friends, with school, with future work, with anything. Plus, while I was still angry with God, at least having Christianity had given me a sense of purpose: the logic had been, God created you, so if He did that, He must have a reason, so He must think you're actually pretty cool, and He must have something you can contribute to the world. All that idea was now gone.

So, in a bout of pointlessness, hopelessness, I got a belt, wrapped it round my neck, tied it to a cabinet, and jumped - only for the belt to snap. If I hadn't, well, you'd all have missed out on nearly 14,000 posts.

When Dad came home from work, asked how my day had gone, I told him that I'd tried to kill myself, but couldn't even get that right. He responded with a very loud "WHATHE?!!?", and then my father (who was in no way religious at all) insisted that I go back to church. I told him I wasn't interested, but he said, "I remember what you were like when you had church in your life - and it was a helluvalot better than you are now". He dragged me to the nearest church youth group... then parked out the front in case I tried to sneak out once he'd left (which I did... but when I saw him, I went back in).

As it turned out, the church was pretty fantastic, and the other youth there showed remarkable kindness, patience, with this severely messed up, socially awkward kid. In the end, I reconciled with God, got my life back on track, found my sense of purpose again, and yeah. While that's certainly not the end of my faith story or life story, it is the end of my suicide story.

Thanks to all of you who read that far. I hope this is at all helpful.

Truly gut wrenching stuff that I have no difficulty in empathizing with having been left without paddles in a very similar boat.
I'm glad your sense of purpose, hope and faith returned in due course.

 

[cartel]

Great share persevering saint.

I have sat on a couple boards of mental health organisations and one thing that I always bang on about is the need to have a conversation about, and hear some stories about recovery. Because there is almost always hope, even if the person can't see it at that time.

I think at the moment a lot of the discussion is about awareness, and it is often quite negative in disposition. But it can be hopeful as well.

Sent from my D5833 using Tapatalk

 

[Louis Slungpue]

great tune to have a muzz to

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

For what it's worth, part of my story intersects with youth suicide. See, I gave it a go.

I grew up in country Victoria with my mum, a pretty strong Christian, while my dad lived in Melbourne and I saw him on the weekends. This meant I got bullied at school a fair bit, mainly because I had the Christian thing, AND I'd come home from the city with "city" ideas that irritated the country kids. As well as that, my mum battled cancer for about 10 years - every time she went into remission, our friends would thank God for His hand in helping her (and I have no problem with them doing that, btw). But eventually, when I was about 16, my mum had one last bout of cancer, and ultimately died - I was left asking why God had helped her all those other times, but not this time. I got pretty angry about the whole thing. Then I went to live with my dad in Melbourne, in Highett - Go Saints.

While I was deeply messed up from my mum's passing, and pretty ticked at God about it, I was also really excited to be living in Melbourne: nobody knew I was a Christian here (and as far as I was concerned, I wasn't at this point), and I could finally act like a city kid away from all those country hicks who'd made my life a living hell. So I went into high school there in a very, very, VERY self-destructive way. I subsequently left a school after 6 months... then the next one after 3 weeks. Then I had to do Year 11 and 12 via correspondence, because things had got so messed up at schools.

As well as that, I felt like a complete and utter useless piece of crap: I couldn't fit in, whether in the country, or the city. Mum was dead, my dad was actually going through a divorce from his second wife, so family kinda sucked. I couldn't see any future: with girls, with friends, with school, with future work, with anything. Plus, while I was still angry with God, at least having Christianity had given me a sense of purpose: the logic had been, God created you, so if He did that, He must have a reason, so He must think you're actually pretty cool, and He must have something you can contribute to the world. All that idea was now gone.

So, in a bout of pointlessness, hopelessness, I got a belt, wrapped it round my neck, tied it to a cabinet, and jumped - only for the belt to snap. If I hadn't, well, you'd all have missed out on nearly 14,000 posts.

When Dad came home from work, asked how my day had gone, I told him that I'd tried to kill myself, but couldn't even get that right. He responded with a very loud "WHATHE?!!?", and then my father (who was in no way religious at all) insisted that I go back to church. I told him I wasn't interested, but he said, "I remember what you were like when you had church in your life - and it was a helluvalot better than you are now". He dragged me to the nearest church youth group... then parked out the front in case I tried to sneak out once he'd left (which I did... but when I saw him, I went back in).

As it turned out, the church was pretty fantastic, and the other youth there showed remarkable kindness, patience, with this severely messed up, socially awkward kid. In the end, I reconciled with God, got my life back on track, found my sense of purpose again, and yeah. While that's certainly not the end of my faith story or life story, it is the end of my suicide story.

Thanks to all of you who read that far. I hope this is at all helpful.

Sometimes instead of a 'Like' or 'Dislike' button it would be nice to have a ' Respect' button.
Not always easy to share stuff like that Perse. Glad yourself and the other posters on here with similar stories about nearly ending it all are still here to be able to tell those stories.

 

[sonnywalters]

I am glad you are still here with us Perse. You are a unique individual.

 

[Saintos The ITK]

There is no quick fix, there is no magic bullet, the only thing anyone can do and should do is care and ask questions, lend support, be humane to a human.

So since I'm "comfortable" with it, I attempted at 16, due primarily due to the age where you could still beat your kids and it was fine punishment leading to peers effectively emasculating your manhood for years, because when you are effectively broken physically by family you turn to friends, and when friends turn out to not be such you have yourself, which after years will be tantamount to mud because it's how you were and who people made you to be. You yourself are still a child, you have NFI how to deal with these things, you're going through mad changes and people are expecting things from you and you are expecting things from yourself and holy hell I didn't have hair there yesterday so you can't really vanish into the wilderness and zen.

So you resolve many things, some people like me effectively tell everyone else that we will show them the error of their ways, we will show them that it was them who forced this and make sure it is felt how much of a #$$%%^ they are. In effect a penultimate screw you to everyone.

But then we also bullshit ourselves, so we put out feelers hoping that someone cares to worry about us in our sorrow, angst, anger, etc, and all it takes, is that person actually caring.

We care mate.

 

[Sir Skid]

For what it's worth, part of my story intersects with youth suicide. See, I gave it a go.

I grew up in country Victoria with my mum, a pretty strong Christian, while my dad lived in Melbourne and I saw him on the weekends. This meant I got bullied at school a fair bit, mainly because I had the Christian thing, AND I'd come home from the city with "city" ideas that irritated the country kids. As well as that, my mum battled cancer for about 10 years - every time she went into remission, our friends would thank God for His hand in helping her (and I have no problem with them doing that, btw). But eventually, when I was about 16, my mum had one last bout of cancer, and ultimately died - I was left asking why God had helped her all those other times, but not this time. I got pretty angry about the whole thing. Then I went to live with my dad in Melbourne, in Highett - Go Saints.

While I was deeply messed up from my mum's passing, and pretty ticked at God about it, I was also really excited to be living in Melbourne: nobody knew I was a Christian here (and as far as I was concerned, I wasn't at this point), and I could finally act like a city kid away from all those country hicks who'd made my life a living hell. So I went into high school there in a very, very, VERY self-destructive way. I subsequently left a school after 6 months... then the next one after 3 weeks. Then I had to do Year 11 and 12 via correspondence, because things had got so messed up at schools.

As well as that, I felt like a complete and utter useless piece of crap: I couldn't fit in, whether in the country, or the city. Mum was dead, my dad was actually going through a divorce from his second wife, so family kinda sucked. I couldn't see any future: with girls, with friends, with school, with future work, with anything. Plus, while I was still angry with God, at least having Christianity had given me a sense of purpose: the logic had been, God created you, so if He did that, He must have a reason, so He must think you're actually pretty cool, and He must have something you can contribute to the world. All that idea was now gone.

So, in a bout of pointlessness, hopelessness, I got a belt, wrapped it round my neck, tied it to a cabinet, and jumped - only for the belt to snap. If I hadn't, well, you'd all have missed out on nearly 14,000 posts.

When Dad came home from work, asked how my day had gone, I told him that I'd tried to kill myself, but couldn't even get that right. He responded with a very loud "WHATHE?!!?", and then my father (who was in no way religious at all) insisted that I go back to church. I told him I wasn't interested, but he said, "I remember what you were like when you had church in your life - and it was a helluvalot better than you are now". He dragged me to the nearest church youth group... then parked out the front in case I tried to sneak out once he'd left (which I did... but when I saw him, I went back in).

As it turned out, the church was pretty fantastic, and the other youth there showed remarkable kindness, patience, with this severely messed up, socially awkward kid. In the end, I reconciled with God, got my life back on track, found my sense of purpose again, and yeah. While that's certainly not the end of my faith story or life story, it is the end of my suicide story.

Thanks to all of you who read that far. I hope this is at all helpful.

RESPECT for posting your story Persevering Saint and StFly
The BF community is a good support network and I have no doubt will stand behind you. Go Saints!

 

[Persevering Saint]

I should point out, that was over 20 years ago. All good now.

 

[From 45]

I should point out, that was over 20 years ago. All good now.

Glad to hear that mate..

 

[Diehard Saint]

I should point out, that was over 20 years ago. All good now.

Thank you for sharing part of your story, Perse. It would have not been easy although you're obviously in a far better place now.

It's yet another reminder just to treat people kindly and with respect and not make snap judgements because we can never really see what someone else may be going through.

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

I should point out, that was over 20 years ago. All good now.

Your a good example Perse.
Lifes brutal at times but its also f***ing magnificent.
Young people can get caught up in a fog and just cant see a way out. But there is always a way out.
Look at you now Perse. Lovely Wife and beautiful kids.
Whenever i hear of a youth suicide i just think " what a sad waste"

 

[Keg on legs]

Thanks and much respect to Perse and StFly.

I imagine it's a long journey to be able to get to the place where you're comfortable to share. And also a fair bit of courage.

My eldest brother took his life when I was 21. He was 10 years older than me and we had just started to bond.

Four days before he passed, we had caught up. He seemed different. Quiet, parked the car around the corner. Turns out he was in debt to some nasty people. In hindsight he felt trapped and couldn't see any way out.

I went back to work and told my work mates (who had met him at my 21st and saw a guy who was the life of the party) that I was worried about him. They told me I was being crazy.

I said nothing. I never asked if he was ok. I never told anyone else what I was thinking. When the call came from dad, he didn't even have to tell me. I just knew.

I thought I'd handled it ok. But then about 6 months later I had a dream where he walked into the room. I ran over to him, threw my arms around him and told him I knew he wasn't dead. He just smiled a smile that told me "it's OK. I'm at peace" I woke up in a sweat and it was then I realised I wasn't coping. After that I was kind of ok. I taught myself to deal with it.

I still wonder to this day if i had asked if he was ok, could I have saved him? I'll never know but I'll always wonder.

I've learnt since is: the world is a wonderful place, full of amazing experiences and great people. If only he had the same knowledge he may have found a way out of the hole he found himself in. And, if you worry about someone, NEVER be scared to reach out to them. That may be just what they need

 

[NarrowMind]

Thanks and much respect to Perse and StFly.

I imagine it's a long journey to be able to get to the place where you're comfortable to share. And also a fair bit of courage.

My eldest brother took his life when I was 21. He was 10 years older than me and we had just started to bond.

Four days before he passed, we had caught up. He seemed different. Quiet, parked the car around the corner. Turns out he was in debt to some nasty people. In hindsight he felt trapped and couldn't see any way out.

I went back to work and told my work mates (who had met him at my 21st and saw a guy who was the life of the party) that I was worried about him. They told me I was being crazy.

I said nothing. I never asked if he was ok. I never told anyone else what I was thinking. When the call came from dad, he didn't even have to tell me. I just knew.

I thought I'd handled it ok. But then about 6 months later I had a dream where he walked into the room. I ran over to him, threw my arms around him and told him I knew he wasn't dead. He just smiled a smile that told me "it's OK. I'm at peace" I woke up in a sweat and it was then I realised I wasn't coping. After that I was kind of ok. I taught myself to deal with it.

I still wonder to this day if i had asked if he was ok, could I have saved him? I'll never know but I'll always wonder.

I've learnt since is: the world is a wonderful place, full of amazing experiences and great people. If only he had the same knowledge he may have found a way out of the hole he found himself in. And, if you worry about someone, NEVER be scared to reach out to them. That may be just what they need

Really upsetting stuff mate, but a gutsy effort to share that with us all. Thank you.

The major lesson I have learnt as a son, brother and friend is that sometimes it isn't up to us to make somebody happy, but that we should never ever stop trying.

 

[Joffaboy]

Not going to comment on specific posts, but guys, keep them coming.
Talk to us, your Saints mates if you feel you can't talk to anyone else.
But we ALL need to keep these conversations going.

Whether you are a person of faith like Perse, or a non believer like me, and all the inbetween, your life is imporant and has purpose.

Wake up everyday and tell yourself how great you feel.

Truly do it. Sounds trite, but physical or mental illness can literally strike at anytime.

And if you dont feel lucky to be alive, please talk to a friend, a loved one, a workmate.

We need this scourge to be tackled and our attitudes and actions can do that.

 

[Joffaboy]

Thanks and much respect to Perse and StFly.

I imagine it's a long journey to be able to get to the place where you're comfortable to share. And also a fair bit of courage.

My eldest brother took his life when I was 21. He was 10 years older than me and we had just started to bond.

Four days before he passed, we had caught up. He seemed different. Quiet, parked the car around the corner. Turns out he was in debt to some nasty people. In hindsight he felt trapped and couldn't see any way out.

I went back to work and told my work mates (who had met him at my 21st and saw a guy who was the life of the party) that I was worried about him. They told me I was being crazy.

I said nothing. I never asked if he was ok. I never told anyone else what I was thinking. When the call came from dad, he didn't even have to tell me. I just knew.

I thought I'd handled it ok. But then about 6 months later I had a dream where he walked into the room. I ran over to him, threw my arms around him and told him I knew he wasn't dead. He just smiled a smile that told me "it's OK. I'm at peace" I woke up in a sweat and it was then I realised I wasn't coping. After that I was kind of ok. I taught myself to deal with it.

I still wonder to this day if i had asked if he was ok, could I have saved him? I'll never know but I'll always wonder.

I've learnt since is: the world is a wonderful place, full of amazing experiences and great people. If only he had the same knowledge he may have found a way out of the hole he found himself in. And, if you worry about someone, NEVER be scared to reach out to them. That may be just what they need

So sorry Keg. Thanks for the great post

 

[Joffaboy]

And for something completely different, somebody called Choomahs Nutsack just started following me on twitter

 

[Determinant]

This feels appropriate, forgive me if not.

 

[PoppedCorn]

We never forgot.....we just learn to live with it.
We had a mental health beyond blue meeting at work about month ago with people form outside.
Wow....the numbers were staggering on suicide.
I'm sure most of us here have been in bad places inside our heads and hearts...those of us still here are the ones that need to speak up to others.

 

[Saintos The ITK]

This feels appropriate, forgive me if not.

We need to sign up that trumpeter for game days.