VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,500
- 35,338
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- Essendon
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- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
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- #1
Apologies for not many funnies this week. Been bed-ridden for four days with a horrible flu and breathing hurts.
FORECAST:
Pray4roof.
80% chance of rain, 16 degrees max. Winds up to 30kmh.
Common sense says there should be a roof, Gillon says "hurrrdurrrrr".
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $1.72
WESTERN BULLDOGS: $2.15
THE SUPERCOACH TOP 3 FROM LAST WEEK:
ESSENDON: Cale Hooker (132), Dyson Heppell (115), Zach Merrett (98)
BULLDOGS: Mitch Wallis (124), Lachie Hunter (116), Liam Picken (115)
ESSENDON BOMBERS
The less said about last week, the better, I feel.
It does say a fair bit about your team when you can play one out of three quarters and come away with a five goal win, though.
Or does it say more about Norf? Like... They're not very good?
Cale Hooker was (somehow) the talk of the town for giving poor widdle-fird-gamer Norf man a hard time. Neilson had been giving Hooksy s**t all game when he was struggling to get a hold of the footy, but in the last, he kicked four straight, hence giving the newbie some real schtick. And then the media says he was a bad, bad man. Pathetic.
McGrath continues to impress, and will be a superstar for this great club. Sign him on up Dodo!
Parish is a jet. No second year blues for our very own talk show host.
Pops Kelly should be allowed to stay as long as he likes. And another four years after that.
Tippa was popping up all over the ground and giving the Norf boys grief, and it was absolutely delicious.
Hartley and Hurls had their colours slightly lowered last week; Carrot Top Ben Brown was a key player on the ground, slotting 6.
Heppell
We kicked 20 goals though; with plenty of multiple goal kickers. What a day.
Merrett continues to be a Brownlow smokey, picking up 13,000 touches and kicking 94 goals.
Joey D had a relatively quiet game, being somewhat subdued in the ruck by big Majak. Still kicked two goals and made himself a joint Coleman leader, which lasted about 4 hours.
If we can take anything else out of last week, my colon strength increased tenfold, as I was clenching for the first three and a half quarters.
ESSENDON BOMBERS 20.12 132 def. LOL NORF 16.9 105
Crowd: 40,359 at Etihad Stadium
BEST: Merrett, Watson, Hooker, Heppell, Fantasia, McDonald-Tipungwuti, Goddard
GOALS: Hooker 5, Fantasia 4, McDonald-Tipugwuti 3, Stewart, Daniher, Heppell 2, Parish, Zaharakis
INJURIES: Gleeson (elbow)
REPORTS: Nil
--------
WESTERN BULLDOGS
Liam Picken did a good. Good boy.
Dale Morris absolutely turned stomachs, with his shithouse run of injuries continuing, breaking his arm in the second quarter.
The Dogs pushed hard through a resilient Gold Coast outfit to keep their scrappy premiership defence alive.
This was the first Bulldogs win outside of Victoria this season, and left them outside the eight only on percentage.
The Dogs, as they did through the entire 2016 finals series, killed the Suns on the spread; the young Suns, with a severely depleted midfield, just couldn't keep up.
Jack Redpath did a silly, and punched Tom Lynch in his six foot chin at quarter time.
There's not much more to write about this game; it was extremely routine win for the Dogs. Nothing spectacular about it; they just got the job done. Just like Essendon.
WESTERN BULLDOGS 16.14 110 def. GOLD COAST SUNS 8.8 56
Crowd: 9,364 at Cazaly's Stadium, Cairns
BEST: Picken, McLean, Dahlhaus, Hunter, Wallis
GOALS: Picken 6, Dale 3, Dahlhaus 2, Redpath, Liberatore, Roughead, Murphy, Wallis
INJURIES: Morris (Broken Arm)
REPORTS: Nil
ESSENDON COACH: John Worsfold
BULLDOGS COACH: Yeah nah yeah onya Bevo
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES:
Josh Begley, Kyle Langford, Matt Dea
WESTERN BULLDOGS EMERGENCIES:
Tim English, Fletcher Roberts, Lukas Webb
--------
ESSENDON INS: UNCHANGED
ESSENDON OUTS: UNCHANGED
BULLDOGS INS: Travis Cloke, Tory Dickson
BULLDOGS OUTS: Dale Morris (Arm), Jack Redpath (Suspension)
---------
MILESTONES:
Cale Hooker, Essendon, #26
150 games
Mark Baguley, Essendon, #12
100 games
Caleb Daniel, Western Bulldogs, #35
FORECAST:
Pray4roof.
80% chance of rain, 16 degrees max. Winds up to 30kmh.
Common sense says there should be a roof, Gillon says "hurrrdurrrrr".
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $1.72
WESTERN BULLDOGS: $2.15
THE SUPERCOACH TOP 3 FROM LAST WEEK:
ESSENDON: Cale Hooker (132), Dyson Heppell (115), Zach Merrett (98)
BULLDOGS: Mitch Wallis (124), Lachie Hunter (116), Liam Picken (115)
ESSENDON BOMBERS
The less said about last week, the better, I feel.
It does say a fair bit about your team when you can play one out of three quarters and come away with a five goal win, though.
Or does it say more about Norf? Like... They're not very good?
Cale Hooker was (somehow) the talk of the town for giving poor widdle-fird-gamer Norf man a hard time. Neilson had been giving Hooksy s**t all game when he was struggling to get a hold of the footy, but in the last, he kicked four straight, hence giving the newbie some real schtick. And then the media says he was a bad, bad man. Pathetic.
McGrath continues to impress, and will be a superstar for this great club. Sign him on up Dodo!
Parish is a jet. No second year blues for our very own talk show host.
Pops Kelly should be allowed to stay as long as he likes. And another four years after that.
Tippa was popping up all over the ground and giving the Norf boys grief, and it was absolutely delicious.
Hartley and Hurls had their colours slightly lowered last week; Carrot Top Ben Brown was a key player on the ground, slotting 6.
Heppell
We kicked 20 goals though; with plenty of multiple goal kickers. What a day.
Merrett continues to be a Brownlow smokey, picking up 13,000 touches and kicking 94 goals.
Joey D had a relatively quiet game, being somewhat subdued in the ruck by big Majak. Still kicked two goals and made himself a joint Coleman leader, which lasted about 4 hours.
If we can take anything else out of last week, my colon strength increased tenfold, as I was clenching for the first three and a half quarters.
ESSENDON BOMBERS 20.12 132 def. LOL NORF 16.9 105
Crowd: 40,359 at Etihad Stadium
BEST: Merrett, Watson, Hooker, Heppell, Fantasia, McDonald-Tipungwuti, Goddard
GOALS: Hooker 5, Fantasia 4, McDonald-Tipugwuti 3, Stewart, Daniher, Heppell 2, Parish, Zaharakis
INJURIES: Gleeson (elbow)
REPORTS: Nil
--------
WESTERN BULLDOGS
Liam Picken did a good. Good boy.
Dale Morris absolutely turned stomachs, with his shithouse run of injuries continuing, breaking his arm in the second quarter.
The Dogs pushed hard through a resilient Gold Coast outfit to keep their scrappy premiership defence alive.
This was the first Bulldogs win outside of Victoria this season, and left them outside the eight only on percentage.
The Dogs, as they did through the entire 2016 finals series, killed the Suns on the spread; the young Suns, with a severely depleted midfield, just couldn't keep up.
Jack Redpath did a silly, and punched Tom Lynch in his six foot chin at quarter time.
There's not much more to write about this game; it was extremely routine win for the Dogs. Nothing spectacular about it; they just got the job done. Just like Essendon.
WESTERN BULLDOGS 16.14 110 def. GOLD COAST SUNS 8.8 56
Crowd: 9,364 at Cazaly's Stadium, Cairns
BEST: Picken, McLean, Dahlhaus, Hunter, Wallis
GOALS: Picken 6, Dale 3, Dahlhaus 2, Redpath, Liberatore, Roughead, Murphy, Wallis
INJURIES: Morris (Broken Arm)
REPORTS: Nil
ESSENDON COACH: John Worsfold
BULLDOGS COACH: Yeah nah yeah onya Bevo
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES:
Josh Begley, Kyle Langford, Matt Dea
WESTERN BULLDOGS EMERGENCIES:
Tim English, Fletcher Roberts, Lukas Webb
--------
ESSENDON INS: UNCHANGED
ESSENDON OUTS: UNCHANGED
BULLDOGS INS: Travis Cloke, Tory Dickson
BULLDOGS OUTS: Dale Morris (Arm), Jack Redpath (Suspension)
---------
MILESTONES:
Cale Hooker, Essendon, #26
150 games
Mark Baguley, Essendon, #12
100 games
Caleb Daniel, Western Bulldogs, #35
50 games
The confidence is sky-high over Tullamarine, with Johnny Wooshfold and the team sound in their thoughts that this, despite maybe 1-2 players, is our absolute strongest side. There were minor doubts over Michael Hurley this week, but they got the vets in and they said that he'd be fine. It's just amazing to see a shaved bear play football so well.
The Dogs have been forced into two changes, with Dale Morris' sickening arm break last week forcing the veteran out for what may have been his career's swan song. The 34 year old always gives his all for his side, and if that was to be his last game, it would be a somewhat poetic yet bitter way to go out. Jack Redpath clearly forgot that he isn't Trent Cotchin, and as such, wasn't let off for jumper punching last week, seeing him forced out of the side in the naughty corner. The big old ex-enemy, Travis Cloke, returns to the Dogs lineup to replace Redpath; long gone are the days where he would snag five against us in his dominant Collingwood days, but he is still a dangerous forward target for the Dogs. Alongside him is Tory Dickson; who I would try to make a joke about, but let's be honest.
Someone named their son Tory, and that's enough of a joke for me.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #26 - CALE HOOKER
The big Chook has come a hell of a long way since Gary Lyon decided to lay off cutting his mates' lunches and laid into Hooksy instead. Last week alone, he struggled for three quarters before slotting 4 goals in quick succession in the final term last week. The pure fact that people are still talking about him giving young Neilson a hard time, a week after it happened, makes me sick. Remember when players used to have fisticuffs and push each other around? Remember when they used to have full banter constantly, and the full forwards would slot big bags before taking the piss of their lesser defending counterparts?
Apparently you can't do that anymore, or else people will get their widdle feewings hurt. The Norf 3rd gamer was giving a bit of schtick to Hooker all throughout the game while he was struggling for the first three quarters. No-one complained that Cale was copping it then. Once the table turned, damn right he was going to give it to the kid. Talk s**t, get hit. This week, Cale will probably find himself affected most by Easton Wood's trademark intercept efforts. If he manages to get in closer to goal, then that should quell Wood's usual influence.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #12 - MARK BAGULEY
The plumber from Frankston who was plucked from obscurity, given a crack at the big time purely based on his mental work ethic. The man with the best headband in the team. The only headband in the team. Bags is a pure footballer. No nonsense, no flashy tricks, no fleet footed tippy toe dancing, just a pure footballer who does his job each and every week, hence being the first name on the team sheet every single week. This week, Bags hits 100 games, shortly after turning 30. He has no weaknesses at this point of his career. He was struggling early in the season, making pure dumb decisions, but that seems to have quelled. He is now one of the most consistent and solid players that we have every single week. As per usual, his run-against-the-play, bullrush back into a pack, contested intercept mark style of play will be prevalent today. And good on him. What a man.
WESTERN BULLDOGS - #35 - CALEB DANIEL
I must have missed the memo where they were allowing twelve-year olds to play at the highest level, but I will digress; Daniel is arguably one of the only Bulldog players to actually improve in 2017. The majority seem to have either stagnated after their fantastic 2016 premiership, or just don't appear as interested anymore. Daniel, for all his shortcomings (lel), has taken his game to the next level, by working on his pressure and ability to affect the contest, even considering his small stature. Alongside Jason Johannisen, Caleb Daniel is one of those sort of players that would just reserve their biggest game of the year for us. No reasoning except for the fact that it just always ******* happens. Though then again, another smaller Bulldog provided a pretty decent photo opportunity for us in 2001...
WESTERN BULLDOGS - #13 - TRAVIS CLOKE
Having taken time away from football to tend to mental health issues, it's good to see big Trav back in the big time. While he may not have the super boot or the dominance that he had back in his golden days wearing black and white, he is still a 6'4", 100kg mountain of a man who will be one of the key pillars for the dogs today. Without Redpath or Boyd, Cloke's resurgence into the seniors once again was more out of necessity than warm and fuzzies, but regardless, it's a good story. We can't expect much from Trav this week; he's coming from VFL defenders to one of the most dominant tall duos in the league with Hartley and Hurley, and Hurley probably will have his number.
Regardless, it's good to see big Trav back.
Welcome Back, Essendon - 29/7/17
When did you last feel like you were witnessing an Essendon team playing for something? I very clearly remember going into the 2014 finals series, thinking that we weren't actually going to be there for very long. We were coming up against lolnorf, but we were right in the middle of the biggest scandal the club had ever been a part of. Patrick Ryder had informed the club during the week that he was leaving, and as such, played like he was already mentally at Alberton. It was embarrassing, especially when one considers how close we were to winning, even with what was effectively a 21-man team. Before that, we'd played finals in 2009 after knocking Hawthorn out of the running the week before (and also Lloydy removing Brad Sewell's soul); but we came into the match against the Crows with no ruckman, seriously depleted player stocks on all lines, and we ended up losing by over 100 points.
Prior to that, we made it to the finals in 2004, and played a seriously good game to knock out the Demons by 5 points. We were then convincingly knocked out by the Cats the week after. The reasons why I bring this up is that it's been such a long time since we've even looked like we could contend with the big boys. Sure, Adelaide trounced us earlier in the year over at the Adelaide Oval, but when they're down here in a couple of weeks, we should go in with some confidence. They're arguably one of the best teams in the league, but they don't travel to Melbourne all that well, whereas we have smashed West Coast, Port Adelaide, and even 2nd placed Geelong to smithereens down here. We should have some real confidence. And right now, we come up against the reigning premiers, as favourites. We've won three games in a row now for the first time in some three years, which is more or less pathetic. We've finally got a key forward or two who can be counted on to slot multiple goals each week, plus a super steady defensive unit which intercepts everything; the likes of Gleeson, Baguley, and McGrath have evolved so much as players that they can now be counted on every single week to do the right thing. And to think, we're still missing one of our main defenders in Patrick Ambrose.
It's a weird thing, to be playing for something. Now I'm not going to shoot the load off early and say that we're flag contenders. And I'm not going to say that we shouldn't lose another game throughout the rest of the season. Because we are Essendon, and if we are to know one thing for certain, it's that we can't be trusted with expectation. But with the way things are now, and if we keep doing what's needed to win games, then we will see ourselves in the finals series; perhaps even with a home game if we finish in 5th or 6th. So now's the time to get to the games, to support all the lads and cheer them on for the fantastic manner in which they've represented our club this year. It's amazing for us to be back with a chance to actually play some finals footy, and we had better hope that our boys in red and black realise that if we were to make it, anything could happen.
Go Bombers.
-VS
ROUND 22, 2016
Etihad Stadium
Crowd - 25,308
ESSENDON BOMBERS 7.11 53
def. by
WESTERN BULLDOGS 14.9 93
---------
ESSENDON BESTS: Z. Merrett, Stokes, Daniher, Kelly, Zaharakis, Leuenberger
ESSENDON GOALS: Daniher 2, Leuenberger, J. Merrett, Cooney, Fantasia, Z. Merrett
ESSENDON INJURIES: Hartley (Nose)
BULLDOGS BESTS: Johannisen, Daniel, Bontempelli, Picken, Jong, Hunter, M. Boyd
BULLDOGS GOALS: Dickson 3, Daniel 2, Jong, T. Boyd, Wood, Picken, Cord, McLean, Roughead, Hunter, C. Smith
BULLDOGS INJURIES: Nil
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Cooney, J. Merrett, Leuenberger, Ambrose, Langford, Stokes, Bird, Brown, Dea, Jamar, Long
ESSENDON INS: McGrath, Hurley, Watson, Hooker, Heppell, Bellchambers, Colyer, Myers, Stewart, Baguley, Goddard
BULLDOGS OUTS: M. Boyd, Hrovat, Jong, Smith, Webb, Dunkley, T. Boyd, Smith, Hamling, Roberts
BULLDOGS INS: Young, Suckling, Wallis, Dale, Murphy, Liberatore, Macrae, Cloke, Williams, Honeychurch
MELBOURNE:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm)
RADIO: SEN, ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 12.30pm), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 12.30pm)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 11.00am), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 11.00am)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm)
RADIO: ABC, NIRS
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 12.30pm), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 12.30pm)
RADIO: ABC, NIRS
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
The proverbial 8 point game, this one. The Bombers will be looking to cement their spot in the top eight, while the Dogs will be striving to avoid missing the eight after winning the flag in 2016. The Bulldogs find ways to win when it truly matters, which is why we can't afford to underestimate them, but the pure lack of manpower around the ground should help the Bombers win four in a row for the first time in over three years.
Essendon by 33.
RADIO: ABC, NIRS
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
The proverbial 8 point game, this one. The Bombers will be looking to cement their spot in the top eight, while the Dogs will be striving to avoid missing the eight after winning the flag in 2016. The Bulldogs find ways to win when it truly matters, which is why we can't afford to underestimate them, but the pure lack of manpower around the ground should help the Bombers win four in a row for the first time in over three years.
Essendon by 33.
