What the heck? Steve Johnson commits seppuku

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A man was feeding his dog in either St Leonards or Indented Head a decade or so back.

He had the dog's food in a ceramic bowl and was walking out the back door and down the steps. He tripped on a step and fell down, the bowl broke and a shard stabbed him in the neck. He lay there and bled out until someone found his body a day or two later.

A nasho while training at Puckapunyal back in the 70s was jumping into the back of a truck, he fell backwards and impaled himself up the arse on the barrel of the SLR the bloke behind him was carrying. It took until the 90s before the government accepted his claim.

A soccer player in South America dislocated his hip during a game, the medical staff on scene put it back in the socket but in the process jammed one of his testicles in with it. They had to take him to hospital and re-dislocate it to get his nut back out.

I almost drowned on a trampoline, in the backyard of a deserted house in an outback town 35 years ago.

Weird random shit happens.
 

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Pistol Night said:
I might have to start stabbing myself every Sunday morning
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Haha yep same here. After the wedding I went to last weekend I could have used a little stab to restore my reputation.
 
TheEscapeClub said:
A man was feeding his dog in either St Leonards or Indented Head a decade or so back.

He had the dog's food in a ceramic bowl and was walking out the back door and down the steps. He tripped on a step and fell down, the bowl broke and a shard stabbed him in the neck. He lay there and bled out until someone found his body a day or two later.

A nasho while training at Puckapunyal back in the 70s was jumping into the back of a truck, he fell backwards and impaled himself up the arse on the barrel of the SLR the bloke behind him was carrying. It took until the 90s before the government accepted his claim.

A soccer player in South America dislocated his hip during a game, the medical staff on scene put it back in the socket but in the process jammed one of his testicles in with it. They had to take him to hospital and re-dislocate it to get his nut back out.

I almost drowned on a trampoline, in the backyard of a deserted house in an outback town 35 years ago.

Weird random s**t happens.
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Just admiring the strong correlation between your user name and your post.👍
 
RonnieRaven said:
Until media stop protecting sports people with terms “dehydration”
“Health issues” “out of character”
I believe nothing
Who carrys a knife that sharp in a bag.
In my house Only my big butchering knife and boning knife could inflict that damage.
To be self inflicted in my opinion he would of have to been “dehydrated” or going through “health issues” and fallen on it to sustain such injuries.
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He's great mates with his coworker on Triple M and Sportsbet, Jay Clark. Jay conveniently gets the exclusive story with an interview.

Funny that.
 
Beerfish said:
You what now?
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Living in a mining town, 1989.

Had been at an 18th, was walking home about midnight and got lost on one of the snail trails (sort of a series of shortcuts between all the houses in town).

I was tired and very drunk, after stumbling around for an hour, I was cutting through the yard of an empty house, there was a trampoline in the yard, as it was a hot January night, I decided to climb onto the trampoline mat and have a snooze and then find my way home at daybreak. Typical of the day, it was a solid black mat, not the perforated types we have these days.

I climbed on and sunk down comfortably for a snooze. While I was asleep, a single cloud had obviously floated by overhead and dumped a heap of rain quickly straight on top of me. It didn't wake me up until the hollow I had sunk into had completely filled with water and I started inhaling it. It wasn't until the second lung full that I woke up. I rolled over and spewed it all up and then started heaving and coughing and hacking, I was doing this so hard that the old springs gave way and the whole thing collapsed. It was nice and cool down there so I went back to sleep and as planned, found my way home at daybreak.
 

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Steve_McDongus said:
How the hell has this nonsense just been ignored by the media? Impressive even for the AFL.

Most absurd thing I’ve heard since Steele accidentally opened the wrong door…
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Yep. Up there with the Collingwood players clearly getting caught using PED's, but then President Eddie Maguire and the Media spin it as silly boys using cocaine cut with clenbuterol. There is no chance coke is getting cut with that, but everyone played along.

And Now Maynard driving erratically and crashes into someone on the freeway on the way home from a 3-day bender - could have killed some - but nothing to see here.

I had a mate who was a low-level sports journalist about 20 years ago. Got a job over in WA - was told by the senior editor that he could run whatever he liked on Freo, but do not write anything negative about West Coast as the club has made it clear they will blackban the paper and the journo's will be out of jobs.
So the Ben Cousins/Kerr/Chick/Mainwaring/Garner etc etc etc stuff got covered up with the AFL's approval.

​

It's not a sport - it's a protection racket for those in the club to keep their snouts in the trough.
 
Gotta say SJ being an idiot with a sharp knife (more of an idiot than he's letting on) and being accidentally stabbed either by himself or say by a kid who managed to get a hold of a sharp knife seems much more plausible than covering up a massive example of family violence.
 
TheEscapeClub said:
A man was feeding his dog in either St Leonards or Indented Head a decade or so back.

He had the dog's food in a ceramic bowl and was walking out the back door and down the steps. He tripped on a step and fell down, the bowl broke and a shard stabbed him in the neck. He lay there and bled out until someone found his body a day or two later.

A nasho while training at Puckapunyal back in the 70s was jumping into the back of a truck, he fell backwards and impaled himself up the arse on the barrel of the SLR the bloke behind him was carrying. It took until the 90s before the government accepted his claim.

A soccer player in South America dislocated his hip during a game, the medical staff on scene put it back in the socket but in the process jammed one of his testicles in with it. They had to take him to hospital and re-dislocate it to get his nut back out.

I almost drowned on a trampoline, in the backyard of a deserted house in an outback town 35 years ago.

Weird random s**t happens.
Click to expand...
Wally Hammond missed the entire 1926 cricket season when he caught syph on the winter tour of the West Indies.
 

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What the heck? Steve Johnson commits seppuku

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