Suicide

[TheFreshBanana]

The thought of death is comforting to me as well, in a way. I wouldn't purposely put myself in a risky situation but I have thoughts like "If I get hit by a drunk driver/get diagnosed with a terminal illness/if this plane crashes...it wouldn't be so bad" I'm not sure if these thoughts are common or not but they comfort me when I start to feel really shitty.

Like I said to Hudu, I don't think it is normal.

I also had thoughts of death being comforting, to the point where I was genuinely unafraid of death.

Even when I wasn't depressed, I wasn't scared of being in a car crash, or whatever.

I also thought it was normal, and a result of being depressed for so long.

But it's not. In the past month, my life has picked up significantly, and I specifically remember recently where I was on a plane and was scared something would happen. I remember thinking "shit, I don't wanna die man, life is pretty alright right now".

I can't say categorically they are normal or abnormal, but that's my personal experience with it anyway.

 

[PaddyO]

Pls provide some substantial evidence for the following statements you made:

- People who have been "straight out abused" by Lifeline.
- People who have been referred to agencies by Lifeline within the mental health field that are fraudulent.
- Phone attendants who "know what goes on but are powerless to help"

Pls. I can't wait.

Not interested in talking factual stuff little graham ?

 

[Footypie32]

Lordy - getting a little heavy, can't you lot take it to SRP

A thread about suicide getting a little heavy? How odd.

 

[Smiling Buddha]

Because I don't want to work a boring, pointless job.

You were born in the wrong place at the wrong time then, friend. Look around. Unless you are willing to break the mould and risk the disapproval of friends and family for following your own passions, a boring job is almost certainly going to be a huge part of your life for the next forty or fifty years (or until death, whichever comes sooner).

You might be happy to learn that once you get into the groove of working 40 hours, coming home and switching on the telly, drinking with 'friends' on the weekends, paying bills, worrying about whatever is on the 6pm news etc, the mundanity of your job will slowly fade into the background and you may well begin to love your servitude.

 

[Doss]

There's a certain attractiveness to getting out of the rat race but the reality is that for most people, it's not a viable option because of their family life and expenses that they need to meet.

Just the way it is.

 

[PaddyO]

You were born in the wrong place at the wrong time then, friend. Look around. Unless you are willing to break the mould and risk the disapproval of friends and family for following your own passions, a boring job is almost certainly going to be a huge part of your life for the next forty or fifty years (or until death, whichever comes sooner).

You might be happy to learn that once you get into the groove of working 40 hours, coming home and switching on the telly, drinking with 'friends' on the weekends, paying bills, worrying about whatever is on the 6pm news etc, the mundanity of your job will slowly fade into the background and you may well begin to love your servitude.

But please enlighten us oh wise one, what shall we do to avoid this terrible western affliction we are all trapped in? I mean, I thought I had friends, but maybe they're just "friends".

 

[Caesar]

As for BF posts, I don't really count that as "contributing" anything.

Even if you don't, it's indicative of what you probably contribute elsewhere. An ability to think critically and provoke thought in others, express ideas, argue, amuse and so forth. I know that is something I value immensely in the people around me.

It is hard for anybody to say much about this stuff to strangers without seeming trite, so I will just wish you good luck. I would only say that the worth others place on your life (and subsequently the impact your death would have on them) is something you cannot and will not ever be able to know or quantify. Please don't assume they see you in the same way you believe you would see yourself, were you in their position.

 

[Smiling Buddha]

There's a certain attractiveness to getting out of the rat race but the reality is that for most people, it's not a viable option because of their family life and expenses that they need to meet.

If you are saying that most people choose to remain in the 'rat race', I agree with you. In fact I think my reply earlier in the thread implied as much. Unless somebody is willing to truly change up their lives, and risk negativity from friends/family because of it, the rat race is where they must be.

But please enlighten us oh wise one, what shall we do to avoid this terrible western affliction we are all trapped in? I mean, I thought I had friends, but maybe they're just "friends".

Firstly, it is not merely a 'western affliction'. Countries all over face the systemic problems I alluded to earlier. People like George Orwell and Aldous Huxley wrote about this, what becomes of the peasantry after industrial revolution? Well you can't have them sit idly by lest they threaten the power structure. Factory farmed chickens provide the model for the 'solution' to the feudalists' problem, people like Edward Bernays explain the method to achieve it.

 

[Doss]

If you are saying that most people choose to remain in the 'rat race', I agree with you. In fact I think my reply earlier in the thread implied as much. Unless somebody is willing to truly change up their lives, and risk negativity from friends/family because of it, the rat race is where they must be.

Yep, exactly. We're on the same page there.

 

[Bennett.]

As someone who has tried more than a couple of times, go and speak to your GP.
The pain and horror I have put my wife and daughter through is beyond belief.

Also, to those who say it's a cowards way out, until you've been there you have no concept
Of how warped your thinking is and how irrational it can make someone.
TL;DR - stfu

 

[Off The Couch]

Good article

http://mobile.news.com.au/lifestyle...ut-mental-health/story-fnet0he2-1227345690634

 

[kickazz]

The starting point of a depressed, or a suicidal, person often begins at a very different position from how another person perceives things. The rationalisation begins from a potentially distorted viewpoint and continues from there.

Interesting point - I would even go further and suggest it may differ from how you even perceived things at the time.

A friend with depression once tried to explain to me that one of the things that the disease sometimes does is warps your memory of past (good or neutral) events and makes you see them through this distorted, negative filter of sorts. Must be horrible dealing with the present when you cannot even have a true understanding of the past.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear]

As someone who has tried more than a couple of times, go and speak to your GP.
The pain and horror I have put my wife and daughter through is beyond belief.

Also, to those who say it's a cowards way out, until you've been there you have no concept
Of how warped your thinking is and how irrational it can make someone.
TL;DR - stfu

Sadly we have a long, long way to go to understanding mental illness, not just depression but any disorder for that matter. For example certain anxiety disorders. Like depression, people would call you a coward or give you odd looks, when in reality there may be differences in brain grey matter or amygdala sensitivity with people with those issues that cause them to react that way. That's not to say we have no control, but we have only scratched the surface with these things imo. It's actually surprising really, for the brain so incredibly complex it shouldn't be a surprise that things could go so wrong. Although as evidenced by the thread people still think it's all just pharmaceutical propaganda...

 

[Doss]

Interesting point - I would even go further and suggest it may differ from how you even perceived things at the time.

A friend with depression once tried to explain to me that one of the things that the disease sometimes does is warps your memory of past (good or neutral) events and makes you see them through this distorted, negative filter of sorts. Must be horrible dealing with the present when you cannot even have a true understanding of the past.

My mother is a walking example of this. She often manages to distort events from the past so as to frame part of the wider image she has- of her being the victim, of it being just another in the long line of slights.

This is not to say she hasn't been dealt some rough hands at times. I've talked elsewhere about her giving birth to a girl with spina bifida who died at a week old eight years before I was born- that's haunted her for life, understandably.

She was also beaten by her ex-husband (not my father) during their marriage in the 1970s.

So there's not much distortion needed there, they're two things that have profoundly affected her mental state for life. But there are other situations she relates where, knowing her propensity to see slights where they're not intended and in general assume the worst, you can't help but privately have large doubts as you listen.

 

[Vekgib]

As someone who has tried more than a couple of times, go and speak to your GP.
The pain and horror I have put my wife and daughter through is beyond belief.

Also, to those who say it's a cowards way out, until you've been there you have no concept
Of how warped your thinking is and how irrational it can make someone.
TL;DR - stfu

My post is not written as attention seeking.
It is written to reinforce the quoted good advice.
In January this year I attempted suicide.
In one of my discussions with my Psychologist afterwards, it was drummed into me:
"If you are ever feeling that low again, and I (Psychologist) can't be reached, go to the nearest hospital.
On Sunday, after about 24 hours of my mood getting lower and lower, I had decided that there were people in my life who would be a lot happier if I just ended my life.And it was my responsibility to make them happy.
I told my wife that I was leaving and would not be coming back.
Got in my car and drove down to the highway.
Instead of turning right to go to the mountain ranges 15 minutes away (plenty of nice high cliffs to jump off), I turned left and drove to the local hospital.
End result: The care I got was first class. I know I made the right choice turning left rather than right.After about 6 hours of questions and analysis by doctors, nurses, a Psychiatrist who came down from Campbelltown and a member of the local Mental Health Team, I was released from hospital into the care of my wife late Sunday night.
It is almost impossible to explain to someone who hasn't been in the situation what your thought processes are, how you feel, the despair that you go through.
But, to anyone who may be reading this who may be feeling thoughts of helplessness, despair,worthlessness or that life itself is just too much effort:
Please see a GP, or go to the nearest hospital. It is not an embarrassment to ask for help. There are medical professionals who care and will do everything in their powers to bring you back from the brink and start you on the road to recovery. Recovery is a long process, and, as I've stated, relapses can happen.But I know after the care I've got since January, I'm still in a better place than I was in at the start of the year.

 

[ozasismick]

Good luck with the recovery process. Just a few months back I went to a funeral of an acquaintance that took the figurative right turn instead of the left leaving behind four young kids and wife. He'd had received help previously but relapsed. Still don't really get it.

 

[Geelong_Sicko]

Also, to those who say it's a cowards way out, until you've been there you have no concept
Of how warped your thinking is and how irrational it can make someone.

Agree 100%. The 'coward' argument solely focusses on the effect the act might have on others, while ignoring completely what the sufferer/endurer/victim themselves is going through. Sometimes the reasons will remain unknown and unknowable to others, but not always.

The act itself I think cannot ever be ascribed to cowardice - it is easier to endure miserably than to take actual steps to end it all. Some think it's harder to endure, but through what I've observed it seems psychologically easier to turn snail-like into your own mind and endure through ignoring shit than going through the thoughts and steps to the point of suicide.

That would mean coming forward, outside, and grappling before coming to a decision psychologically speaking.

The effect on others, while related, should be considered a side argument to what is motivating the self at these dark times.

 

[ize_]

Hey team, perhaps an odd place to put something like this but I want to get as broad a range of perspectives as I can.

About 3 months ago my parents were unfortunate enough to find the body of one of their best friends hanging in his home. He had lived alone pretty much as long as they'd known him (around 25-30 years) and had been a big part of not only their lives but my life and many of my friends'.

My folks are pretty resilient and whilst it was devastating for us as a family and community, they seem to have coped pretty well over all. They're tough but not too tough to seek professional help and have done so as required. The spookiness of the scene has been a big hurdle to get past with nightmares, fear of entering empty rooms and the odd vision all stuff that has come and gone as you would expect with such a traumatic experience.

I guess what I'm looking for is anyone who has any first or second hand advice as to what might happen further down the track. They were struggling at the start but seem to have coped well. I'm still concerned about this as an ongoing thing and wonder if anyone has any experience they'd be willing to share. Are there certain signs to be aware of? Is there a traditional relapse period with this kind of episode?

Any advice is welcome, because as I said I'm just looking to get as much advice as possible.

Cheers.

 

[Dan Moody]

Hey team, perhaps an odd place to put something like this but I want to get as broad a range of perspectives as I can.

About 3 months ago my parents were unfortunate enough to find the body of one of their best friends hanging in his home. He had lived alone pretty much as long as they'd known him (around 25-30 years) and had been a big part of not only their lives but my life and many of my friends'.

My folks are pretty resilient and whilst it was devastating for us as a family and community, they seem to have coped pretty well over all. They're tough but not too tough to seek professional help and have done so as required. The spookiness of the scene has been a big hurdle to get past with nightmares, fear of entering empty rooms and the odd vision all stuff that has come and gone as you would expect with such a traumatic experience.

I guess what I'm looking for is anyone who has any first or second hand advice as to what might happen further down the track. They were struggling at the start but seem to have coped well. I'm still concerned about this as an ongoing thing and wonder if anyone has any experience they'd be willing to share. Are there certain signs to be aware of? Is there a traditional relapse period with this kind of episode?

Any advice is welcome, because as I said I'm just looking to get as much advice as possible.

Cheers.

Very admirable mate of you to think of the bigger picture for your folks, you sound like you have a great, close knit family.
I haven't experienced this but I can imagine the absolute devastation on discovering a scene like that. It would stick with you for the rest of your life, aside from the thoughts of what could I have done to avoid this, how did I miss him feeling like this etc.
I wish you and your parents the best with this horrible time.

 

[Catfish Alley]

That sucks. Even if you don't know them well it can still hit you. My brother-in-laws brother committed suicide a while ago. He posts a lot about it online and it's sad how it impacts everybody.

 

[nicky]

Suicide has a nuclear affect on those close to the person - it is indescribable the way in which it explodes your heart in a million / trillion pieces. Also, the whole grieving process doesn't work in a neat linear way, it just loops around and you wonder when/ if ever you will be able to put it into perspective. Once the shock wears off you think that, that is it, now you can put it into perspective but then the shock and denial comes back. It is intense.

And it most certainly affects people that didn't know the person too.

I overheard a group of people discussing suicide at this bar the other week and they were so judgemental about it. I felt triggered and had to restrain myself. I read somewhere that someone takes their own life when their pain and suffering outweighs their resources for coping with it. It is kind of like a maths equation. So if we've not had to face this decision then, lucky us.

 

[radiojake]

It does. Everyone was just sitting in the staff room after the Principal announced it, in complete shock.

I almost very inappropriately got the giggles tho- my workmate said "Ive gotta go speak to -insert name here-" (which is the same first name as the guy who did it) so in my head i thought "well you're not gonna get much of a response".

/bad shell.

I suffer from inappropriate giggles too - it's a terrible affliction and often it makes me look guilty even if i haven't done anything

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Sensitive topic so let's keep it civil

 

[nicky]

Sensitive topic so let's keep it civil

Agree, I do not see the funny side of this topic at all.

I doubt anyone would suffer from inappropriate giggles if they had been directly affected by a suicide, whether that be suicide of a loved one or wanting to commit suicide. I know the posters aren't intentionally being dicks but....... it is not one bit funny.!

 

[mouncey2franklin]

This is a topic which has always interested me, on a number of levels. Not that I have ever attempted it or even planned it myself. More the thought of it as a concept, on a philosophical level, and also the sociological implications.

Recently in every Majak Daw 'incident' related thread on this site, it seems like people are trotting out the common myths and misconceptions about suicide with regards to the male:female imbalance and the 'reporting on it leads to more of it'.

The facts are that men commit suicide far more often than women do. In Australia is is 3:1. People say, 'that is because men don't talk about mental health often enough'. Perhaps. Is it also possible that men in general just have a more difficult life than women these days? Oh, we can't talk about that. In fact we will censor and attack you for even suggesting it.

'Oh but we need to talk about mental health'. Give me a break. Stop with the hypocrisy and virtue signaling. We either talk about why men might be depressed, or we are taking the piss with the entire 'conversation'.

As for the 'reporting it leads to more of it', everybody now knows that Majak's 'incident' was an attempted suicide. What difference does it make by saying 'incident' rather than attempted suicide? I can understand simply not reporting it at all (especially in lower profile cases), but if you are going to run news stories on it, why the euphemisms if everybody knows?