Mega Thread Tell It Like It Is

[Purple Suit]

Why do people type in a "Tell its like its Friday" Thread and its ******* Saturday?

Why don't you tell us since you just did it too.

 

[NetworkNerd]

The Little Lying Indian gooses ... "I'm from Microsoft and your computer is infected with a virus"

Juts pretend you have a mac.
'Click on the start menu'
Sorry... Wut????????

 

[matty_hawk]

Juts pretend you have a mac.
'Click on the start menu'
Sorry... Wut????????

"What the shlt ,how the heck did my typewriter get a virus. These hackers sure are getting good".

 

[Retired Jimmy]

Why do people type in a "Tell its like its Friday" Thread and its ******* Saturday?

The same reason we let our good friends from Sth Australia post in here despite living in 1965

 

[Jean Claude Vas Deferens]

As has been posted by many, khunts who come to a complete stop on a 0000.2 km per hour escalator and just stand there blocking anyone from squeezing past.

Your and you're. It's pretty easy.


And this one.... had it the other day. I was in the city at a 7/11 in Swanston street..... no sign of Dan though. I'm buying a small bottle of orange juice. I'm fifth in the queue.
Person number one. Packet of Menthos. $1.80. Pays on credit card. Signs for it. Asks for receipt.
Annoying Person number two. A bottle of water and a newspaper. $4.20. Pays on credit card. Pin number. Asks for receipt.
Pissing me off knob number three. A f***ing Slurpee paid for on yes, you guessed it, a F***ING CREDIT CARD. $3.50. PIN NUMBER. ASKS FOR RECEIPT.
campaigner NUMBER FOUR. TIC TACS AND SOME SPEARMINT EXTRA. $4.80. F***ING CREDIT CARD. F***ING SIGNS FOR IT. WANTS RECEIPT. RECEIPT PRINTER OUT OF F***ING PAPER. HAVE TO WAIT FOR APU TO CHANGE THE F***ING THING SO THAT INCONSIDERATE campaigner NUMBER FOUR CAN PROVE TO HIS F***ING ACCOUNTANT THAT HE PURCHASED SOME F***ING TIC TACS AND SOME F***ING CHEWY!!!! KKKKHHHHUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!!

Person number five. Me. Small bottle of orange juice. $3.50. Hand Apu four bucks, get 50 cents change, politely decline the receipt, smile and say thank-you. Walk out after a 20 second transaction. Now, believe it or not, I am a very patient bloke, but f*** me! Don't people carry around a few bucks anymore? I mean, who the f*** pays for a $1.80 packet of Menthos on an American Express credit card!

 

[dymot]

The same reason we let our good friends from Sth Australia post in here despite living in 1965

zing!

 

[Probitas_]

As has been posted by many, khunts who come to a complete stop on a 0000.2 km per hour escalator and just stand there blocking anyone from squeezing past.

Your and you're. It's pretty easy.


And this one.... had it the other day. I was in the city at a 7/11 in Swanston street..... no sign of Dan though. I'm buying a small bottle of orange juice. I'm fifth in the queue.
Person number one. Packet of Menthos. $1.80. Pays on credit card. Signs for it. Asks for receipt.
Annoying Person number two. A bottle of water and a newspaper. $4.20. Pays on credit card. Pin number. Asks for receipt.
Pissing me off knob number three. A f***ing Slurpee paid for on yes, you guessed it, a F***ING CREDIT CARD. $3.50. PIN NUMBER. ASKS FOR RECEIPT.
campaigner NUMBER FOUR. TIC TACS AND SOME SPEARMINT EXTRA. $4.80. F***ING CREDIT CARD. F***ING SIGNS FOR IT. WANTS RECEIPT. RECEIPT PRINTER OUT OF F***ING PAPER. HAVE TO WAIT FOR APU TO CHANGE THE F***ING THING SO THAT INCONSIDERATE campaigner NUMBER FOUR CAN PROVE TO HIS F***ING ACCOUNTANT THAT HE PURCHASED SOME F***ING TIC TACS AND SOME F***ING CHEWY!!!! KKKKHHHHUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!!

Person number five. Me. Small bottle of orange juice. $3.50. Hand Apu four bucks, get 50 cents change, politely decline the receipt, smile and say thank-you. Walk out after a 20 second transaction. Now, believe it or not, I am a very patient bloke, but f*** me! Don't people carry around a few bucks anymore? I mean, who the f*** pays for a $1.80 packet of Menthos on an American Express credit card!

People who sign their credit card full stop. Gives me the shits, it's a terrible form of security and we've had pin codes for credit cards for a fair while now. They also crack it when someone actually verifies the signature making their chosen form of bullshit even more pointless.

*I worked customer service for way too many years, I am angry about payment methods*

 

[dymot]

People who sign their credit card full stop. Gives me the shits, it's a terrible form of security and we've had pin codes for credit cards for a fair while now. They also crack it when someone actually verifies the signature making their chosen form of bullshit even more pointless.

Sometime you are made to which really shits me. Had a **** up from the bank's end at a mcdonalds and had to sign for a cone FFS as paywave and pin were not getting accepted.

 

[Probitas_]

Sometime you are made to which really shits me. Had a **** up from the bank's end at a mcdonalds and had to sign for a cone FFS as paywave and pin were not getting accepted.

I had to do this recently except I didn't have a signature on the back of the card so they told me to just put it on now.

 

[Retired Jimmy]

As has been posted by many, khunts who come to a complete stop on a 0000.2 km per hour escalator and just stand there blocking anyone from squeezing past.

Your and you're. It's pretty easy.


And this one.... had it the other day. I was in the city at a 7/11 in Swanston street..... no sign of Dan though. I'm buying a small bottle of orange juice. I'm fifth in the queue.
Person number one. Packet of Menthos. $1.80. Pays on credit card. Signs for it. Asks for receipt.
Annoying Person number two. A bottle of water and a newspaper. $4.20. Pays on credit card. Pin number. Asks for receipt.
Pissing me off knob number three. A f***ing Slurpee paid for on yes, you guessed it, a F***ING CREDIT CARD. $3.50. PIN NUMBER. ASKS FOR RECEIPT.
campaigner NUMBER FOUR. TIC TACS AND SOME SPEARMINT EXTRA. $4.80. F***ING CREDIT CARD. F***ING SIGNS FOR IT. WANTS RECEIPT. RECEIPT PRINTER OUT OF F***ING PAPER. HAVE TO WAIT FOR APU TO CHANGE THE F***ING THING SO THAT INCONSIDERATE campaigner NUMBER FOUR CAN PROVE TO HIS F***ING ACCOUNTANT THAT HE PURCHASED SOME F***ING TIC TACS AND SOME F***ING CHEWY!!!! KKKKHHHHUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!!

Person number five. Me. Small bottle of orange juice. $3.50. Hand Apu four bucks, get 50 cents change, politely decline the receipt, smile and say thank-you. Walk out after a 20 second transaction. Now, believe it or not, I am a very patient bloke, but f*** me! Don't people carry around a few bucks anymore? I mean, who the f*** pays for a $1.80 packet of Menthos on an American Express credit card!

Did you pay with your credit card?

 

[Jean Claude Vas Deferens]

Did you pay with your credit card?

Person number five. Me. Small bottle of orange juice. $3.50. Hand Apu four bucks, get 50 cents change:

No Jimmy. No, I did not.

 

[candiehappy]

No Jimmy. No, I did not.

no credit?

 

[Jean Claude Vas Deferens]

no credit?

Plenty of credit.... I'd just prefer to use it on substantial purchases such as $200 worth of groceries or a deposit on a new car. That sort of thing.

Not a f***ing three dollar cola slurpee.... that's poo change from the centre console!

 

[Yidaki]

I grew up in a house of smokers, the house smelt like smoke all the time, eventually i started smoking because of that, now my house smells like smoke.

People who put noisy mufflers on cars are idiots, what a waste of coin.

Unlucky bro, unless you enjoy smoking.

 

[Yidaki]

Lulz...you pay more than double for the exact same products with slightly different packaging/brand names at Coles/Woolies.

All shops are shithouse. They are all money making bitches.

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

Wow... don't you feel like a silly now RIOLIUSTAR

Aside from already stating that, not really

 

[Swansujelly]

What really boils my pissh and sets me on edge immediately is Airports.

* Qantas hosties who act like they are doing you a favor by being there (especially the ones who needed the knackers yard in the mid 90's)
* Absolute inconsiderate cundfts who immediately put their seat back its full whack (especially on short flights)
* People who take forever to get their shite together with the security scanners
* Groups walking 5 abreast aimlessly as they are waiting for flights
* Douchbags who put their suitcases next to them on escalators so you can't get past (and get all huffy when asked to move their ****y bag)
* Parents who let their snotty brats run free on the airbridge when everyone is trying to GTFO the plane

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fill me in on the security screening bit.. Got my first international flight tomorrow and I don't want to be THAT guy.

 

[Probitas_]

Fill me in on the security screening bit.. Got my first international flight tomorrow and I don't want to be THAT guy.

Don't wear a belt.

 

[ChappyUK]

As has been posted by many, khunts who come to a complete stop on a 0000.2 km per hour escalator and just stand there blocking anyone from squeezing past.

Your and you're. It's pretty easy.


And this one.... had it the other day. I was in the city at a 7/11 in Swanston street..... no sign of Dan though. I'm buying a small bottle of orange juice. I'm fifth in the queue.
Person number one. Packet of Menthos. $1.80. Pays on credit card. Signs for it. Asks for receipt.
Annoying Person number two. A bottle of water and a newspaper. $4.20. Pays on credit card. Pin number. Asks for receipt.
Pissing me off knob number three. A f***ing Slurpee paid for on yes, you guessed it, a F***ING CREDIT CARD. $3.50. PIN NUMBER. ASKS FOR RECEIPT.
campaigner NUMBER FOUR. TIC TACS AND SOME SPEARMINT EXTRA. $4.80. F***ING CREDIT CARD. F***ING SIGNS FOR IT. WANTS RECEIPT. RECEIPT PRINTER OUT OF F***ING PAPER. HAVE TO WAIT FOR APU TO CHANGE THE F***ING THING SO THAT INCONSIDERATE campaigner NUMBER FOUR CAN PROVE TO HIS F***ING ACCOUNTANT THAT HE PURCHASED SOME F***ING TIC TACS AND SOME F***ING CHEWY!!!! KKKKHHHHUUUUNNNNTTTT!!!!

Person number five. Me. Small bottle of orange juice. $3.50. Hand Apu four bucks, get 50 cents change, politely decline the receipt, smile and say thank-you. Walk out after a 20 second transaction. Now, believe it or not, I am a very patient bloke, but f*** me! Don't people carry around a few bucks anymore? I mean, who the f*** pays for a $1.80 packet of Menthos on an American Express credit card!

**** me things are expensive back home.

 

[Hawthorn1971]

Fill me in on the security screening bit.. Got my first international flight tomorrow and I don't want to be THAT guy.

Have all the crap out of your pockets ready to put in the tub, have any spray deodorants out of your bag, as well as any liquids to put in a separate bag.

Just be sharp, and aware that if you forget anything, you'll hold up the queue, and look like a douche...

PS: Your avatar boils my pissh

 

[KardiniaPark]

**** me things are expensive back home.

I know, it's getting to the point where I can only afford cocaine like twice a week.

 

[Tyler Durden007]

This.... God is a silly!!

Well that's what bad boy bubby thinks.

I have no problem with religious people as long as they don't shove it onto everyone else like those Westbro dickheads or strict Sharia law

 

[Ronnie Baby]

This is next on my list, it's the same mothergooses standing up early and then getting in your way. Where do these people come from.

Where did the plane take off?

 

[Probitas_]

Where did the plane take off?

Every plane I've been on ever does this, always a few of them on there.

 

[Cat A]

Country people that come into town with their utes all decked out in dumb shit. Full length RM Williams mudgard, four huge CB antennas, longhorn sticker, Southern Cross sticker, Bundy Bear sticker, other dumb shit.
Go back to Wiluna and stay there.