Mega Thread The Random Thoughts Thread Part 1

[bomberclifford]

The girlfriend wooden swallow our oak clang express.

 

[LukeSA]

The girlfriend wooden swallow our oak clang express.

Damn teenagers and their euphemisms.

 

[RussellEbertHandball]

Go this email today. It looks legit enough from the chain, but if not, I could imagine the tall man thinking and saying this.

ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2015 EUROPE
From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

Life is too short...

 

[raman]

Defs fake

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/terrorismalert.asp

 

[Kickpuncher]

Canterbury win in golden point over St George. Crazy game.

Carn the Doggies

 

[PepeSilvia]

Lel.

https://twitter.com/hughes_joan39/with_replies

 

[Macca19]

BANG

 

[Ford Fairlane]

Flavia Pennetta beat somebody's nonna in the US Open Final and promptly retired. Amazingly somebody's nonna was the youngest woman on court.

Although despite the earlier glamour shot, severe hairdo's seem to add years. I thought the Croydon Facelift was meant to be a good thing.

 

[Dylan8]

BANG

Rodgers has got to go

 

[Schulzenfest]

So can one of you NFL watchers explain what the hell is happening here to me?

https://video-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/h...=d4e73c1ee2fee0992947eab9cdca0812&oe=55F52562

 

[Dylan8]

So can one of you NFL watchers explain what the hell is happening here to me?

https://video-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/h...=d4e73c1ee2fee0992947eab9cdca0812&oe=55F52562

ffs kick this team killing noob

 

[Dylan8]

I know

 

[Magpiespower]

So, er, is anyone else's Big Footy being a campaigner or just mine?

 

[Concussion]

So, er, is anyone else's Big Footy being a campaigner or just mine?

Bigfooty IS a campaigner

 

[tribey]

So can one of you NFL watchers explain what the hell is happening here to me?

https://video-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/h...=d4e73c1ee2fee0992947eab9cdca0812&oe=55F52562

He dun goofed

 

[chiwigi]

So can one of you NFL watchers explain what the hell is happening here to me?

https://video-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/h...=d4e73c1ee2fee0992947eab9cdca0812&oe=55F52562

Can't see the clock but if they are leading and time is up he is better off being tackled than risking a fumble. Same if they need to run the clock you don't want to score too early etc.
However this guy just looks like he's over celebrating .

 

[Power Raid]

 

[I Dont Care]

So, er, is anyone else's Big Footy being a campaigner or just mine?

Apparently Telstra is a bit cross with BF

 

[I Dont Care]

Defs fake

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/terrorismalert.asp

Still funny though

 

[StuMan]

Someone made a Brashs facebook page. Haha.

 

[Magpiespower]

Oh shit, that crazy cat Johnny Haysman has his own Facebook page...

John Haysman - Artist



#twerkitjohnny

 

[Power Raid]

Apparently Telstra is a bit cross with BF

a priority of telecasting the afl?

 

[LukeSA]

Oh man, what a sucky time to discover your fridge has stopped working.

 

[Doctor Feel]

Oh man, what a sucky time to discover your fridge has stopped working.

Breathe a sigh of relief. You can answer "no" when people ask if your fridge is running and to go catch it.

 

[LukeSA]

Breathe a sigh of relief. You can answer "no" when people ask if your fridge is running and to go catch it.

Just for good measure i should scream "no my fridge is not running" the next phone call i get.