Entertainment & Music The Simpsons Part 3

[ioppolo]

Season 13 wasn't it? Shows they still had it past season 10.

 

[Kram]

Ah, alcohol and night-swimming. It's a winning combination.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

 

[Kram]

 

[Andre]

She's faking it.

 

[stralia]

Lisa Simpson: What position have you got for me?
[the kids gasps]
Lisa Simpson: That's right. A girl who wants to play football. How about that?
Ned Flanders: Well, thats super-duper, Lisa. We've already got four girls on the team.
Lisa Simpson: You do?
Ned Flanders: Uh huh. But we'd love to have you on board!
Lisa Simpson: Well... football's not really my thing. After all... what kind of civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent pig?
Ned Flanders: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic!
Janey Powell: And for every ball you buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa Simpson: [crying] I've gotta go!

 

[Cruyff14]

The scream.

 

[Run n Spread]

 

[kane249]

First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid
schemes you've been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid!

 

[Cruyff14]

 

[Run n Spread]

Bart: I don't know there is something different about you Dad.

German Homer: I is new tie wearing

Bart Oh yeah

 

[Kram]

My God, you're greasy...

 

[Run n Spread]

Interviewer: Champ do you feel remorse for your crime?

Tatum: Ohh yes. Oh my God believe me if I could turn back the clock I would certainly reconsider it.

Interviewer Champ what are your thoughts on Homer Simpson?

Tatum I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him but I am gonna make orphans of his children.

Interviewer You know the children have a mother?

Tatum Uhhm yes but I would imagine she would die of grief.

Manager The champ has no more time for these questions. This parole hearing is over.

 

[raven echo]

Tatum I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him but I am gonna make orphans of his children.

Internet You know the children have a mother?

Tatum Uhhm yes but I would imagine she would die of grief.

Lol this bit slays me every time. Brilliant.

 

[Kram]

Chief, you're getting powdered sugar all over my floor. Wiggum: No I'm not, no I'm not. I'm, um, dusting for prints.

 

[DrVanNostrand]

Attention everyone, let's have an awed hush please.... for Mr Burns.

*gasps*

 

[raven echo]

Gibson: You want me to replace the villain with a dog? I mean nobody will know what's going on.
Homer: They will if you set up that the dog is evil. All you do is have to show him doing this. (lowers eyelids and glances around in shifty-eyed fashion) The people will suspect the dog.

 

[Super Hans]

 

[Super Hans]

Whoa! A Methuselah rookie card!

 

[Super Hans]

And that's how, with a few minor adjustments, you can turn a regular gun, into five guns.

 

[Super Hans]

Mmmm, floor pie.

 

[Super Hans]

We drove 2000 miles for this?!

 

[Andre]

Moe: [at an NRA meeting] So last night I was closing up the bar, when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up.
Sideshow Mel: Whatever did you do, Moe?
Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation but, luckily, I managed to shoot him in the spine.
[Audience cheers and applauds]
Moe: Yeah. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!

 

[Super Hans]

Don't you hate pants?

 

[Run n Spread]

Announcer Day break Jakarta. The brave men and women of the navy are protecting America's interests overseas. You're in Lubbock Texas, hosing stains off monuments. You're in the Naval Reserve. Once you complete basic training you only work one weekend a month. And most of that time you're drunk off you're ass.
Voiceover The Naval Reserve, America's 17th line of defence between the Mississippi National Guard and The League of Women Voters.

Captain You are now inducted any questions.

Homer Is the poop deck what I think it is?

Captain I like the cut of your jib

Homer What's a jib?

Captain Ha Ha Promote that man

At dinner

Captain Simpson what do you want out of life?

Homer I want peas (reaching for the bowl of peas)

Captain Well we all want peace. It is so illusive always just out of reach. How do you propose we gain it?

Homer With a knife

Captain Ahh yes not the olive branch but the bayonet. Ahh Simpson you're like the son I never had.