Entertainment & Music The Simpsons Part 3

[d33my]

Dr. Hibbert: Well, your cholesterol level is lethally high, Homer, but I'm more concerned about your gravy level.
Homer: Now, wait a second. You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!
Dr. Hibbert: [laughs] Well, you're a little confused.
Homer: Oh, confused, would we?

 

[Cruyff14]

You'll still be the one living by your own creed of 'fair game' then

Being vindictive enough to repost them suggests that you would, indeed, be upset at the fact - So why would you allow others to ruin the series for people who haven't seen it?

PM them. I'm still waiting.

 

[ronnie1234]

Being vindictive enough to repost them suggests that you would, indeed, be upset at the fact - So why would you allow others to ruin the series for people who haven't seen it?

I thought it was fair enough that I was told to get f***ed, as I broke the rule of thumb of spoiling something from the TV series. To help get things back on track though:

Quimby: You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.
Helen Lovejoy: Oh, won't someone please think of the children?
Maude Flanders: What kind of example are we setting?
Wiggum: Ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine.

 

[raven echo]

Mulder's badge kills me every time lol

 

[crazyman27]

 

[crazyman27]

 

[Byron_Clanger]

...can I come too?

 

[Byron_Clanger]

I am the thing...from Uranus

 

[d33my]

 

[d33my]

Love how Lenny's eye became a running gag!

OmniGog Man: Folks, how often have you opened the morning paper only to have the rubber band fly off and hit you right in the eye?
Marge: Never. But it's my number one concern.
OmniGog Man: Well, with the OmniGog system, those worries are a thing of the past.
[puts on the goggles and rolls the rubber band off the newspaper he's holding. The rubber band smacks him on the head hard enough to throw him back several feet. The crowd gasps, but he's quickly back on his feet]
I'm all right, folks -- thanks to my OmniGogs!

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me
Post Office Worker: Okay Mr. Burns uh, what's your first name?
Homer: ..I don't know

 

[EagleMan87]

Don't pull, don't pull! Aargh, I said DON'T pull! DON'T!

 

[Cruyff14]

The Homer They Fall is on Fox 8 now.

Brilliant.

 

[Cruyff14]

Ring announcer: Due to popular demand, we will forgo our National Anthem.

 

[Run n Spread]

Elton John "Hazing the new guy hey? Of course I remember when I got my knighthood. The queen paddled me silly."

 

[Run n Spread]

Homer How can you put that filth in your bodies?

Marge My casserole is not filth.

Homer Bart's a tub, Lisa's as weak as a little girl and Maggie doesn't seem to be growing at all. You too Marge if you toned up I'm sure you'd get a lot more action.

Homer: I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. That's why I'm compressing 5 pounds of spaghetti into one handy mouth-sized bar. (He eats the bar and swallows. He then dials the phone.)… Hospital, please.

 

[Run n Spread]

Grandpa: Son, don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there like I did!
Homer: You?… Did?
Grandpa: Sure I fell eight thousand feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night. But that skunk McAllister was never seen again

 

[JuddyBuddy]

 

[JuddyBuddy]

 

[JuddyBuddy]

 

[E92_]

Homer: Son, there's only one thing punks like that understand:
squealing. You've got to squeal to every teacher and every
grown-up you can find. Coming to me was a good start.
Bart: But then they'll just beat me up even worse!
Homer: Yes, they are a clever bunch. I know. I'll squeal for
ya... to their parents!
[later that day...]
Jimbo's dad: [punches him in the face] That's for telling me how to
raise my lousy kid!
Dolph's dad: [punches him in the gut] This is for the crummy life I've
had to live!

 

[E92_]

Homer: You used to be a boxer just like me?
Moe: Yup. They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid
Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.
Homer: [raising dirty pail] Hey, what's this?
Moe: Ah, that, that's my old spit bucket. Yeah, I've been meaning to
empty that out.

Homer: [gasps] You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names
in boxing! He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he
looks just like him, too!
Moe: Yeah, he was my manager. Back when I was Gorgeous, everybody
wanted a piece of me. But somehow, I just never made it to the
big time.
Homer: Why not?
Moe: 'Cause I got knocked out forty times in a row. That, plus
politics. You know, it's all politics.
Homer: [glaring] Lousy democrats.

 

[E92_]

Hibbert: Well, sir, you more than meet every one of this state's
requirements to box, wrestle or be shot out of a cannon.
Marge: [growls] That's what we get for living in a state founded by
circus freaks.

Hibbert displays an x-ray of Homer's head.

Hibbert: You have an absolutely unique genetic condition known as "Homer
Simpson syndrome".
Homer: [moaning] Oh, why me?

Hibbert calms his fears: his brain is cushioned by a layer of fluid 1/8th of an inch thicker than normal, acting like a football helmet.
Hibbert: Why, I could wallop you all day with this surgical two-by-four
without ever knocking you down.
[brandishes stick, then checks his watch]
But... I have other appointments.

 

[E92_]

Man #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?
Tatum: Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on
my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly... reconsider it.
Man #2: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?
Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against
him, but I'm definately gonna make orphans of his children.
Man #3: Uh, you know, they do have a mother, Champ.
Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.

 

[Poseidon]

Homer Simpson: From now on, I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs!
Bart Simpson: Dad!
Homer Simpson: You too, Bart!
Marge Simpson: Oh, knock it off, Homer, you're the fattest one in the car!
Homer Simpson: [shocked, hurt] You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge!