* Workmates that greet me in the morning with "How are you?". I'm fine you tool, if i was feeling like sh*t i'd be at home.
* Receiving emails about things that have nothing to do with me. I receive about 50 emails each day from people who work at my company who i have never heard of and their emails contain issues that i don't care jack about. These emails clutter up my mailbox and distract me from the ones from my friends that contain excellent pr0n.
* The Indian guy who spends 8 minutes washing his hands in the men's room. I am not exagerating, i timed him once when i was sitting on the pot. He puts copius amounts of the liquid soap on his hands and lathers them up for ages. The next time the soap dispenser is empty when i go to use it, i am going to find that guy and punch him in the stomach.
* People who come to me with a problem and then when i tell them how to fix it they say "Do you want to send out an email to everyone about that or shall I?". In other words, I'm trying to palm off my responsibilities on to you, does that sound ok?
* The guy sitting 5 feet from me who doesn't close his fken mouth when he chews. He is doing it right now as i type this. He's eating a pear and it's going to be the last pear he ever eats if he doesn't stop making those disgusting slurping sounds. Didn't your mother teach you any table manners arseh*le?
* The Men's room cubicles. There is no way to see if the door is locked on the outside, so the only way to check if it is occupied is to try to push it open. It is very disturbing for me when i am doing a nice leisurely bog when some bloke pushes against the door trying to get in.
* The guy who walks around the office loudly whistling "Camptown Races". Bloody nerd.
* Chipping in for the going away present of the people i don't like. There was an old hag i worked with who i gladly would have pushed into oncoming traffic given the chance. When she was leaving a guy comes to me with an envelope and asks for cash. I told him i wasn't chipping in because i hated the mole and he laughed and said 'Nah, seriously, c'mon' to which i explained that i was deadly serious and he should go away before there's trouble.
* In my office when it's your birthday YOU are expected to bring in a cake FOR EVERYBODY ELSE TO EAT! Call me old fashioned, but when it's MY birthday, YOU give things to ME, not the other way around!
* Receiving emails about things that have nothing to do with me. I receive about 50 emails each day from people who work at my company who i have never heard of and their emails contain issues that i don't care jack about. These emails clutter up my mailbox and distract me from the ones from my friends that contain excellent pr0n.
* The Indian guy who spends 8 minutes washing his hands in the men's room. I am not exagerating, i timed him once when i was sitting on the pot. He puts copius amounts of the liquid soap on his hands and lathers them up for ages. The next time the soap dispenser is empty when i go to use it, i am going to find that guy and punch him in the stomach.
* People who come to me with a problem and then when i tell them how to fix it they say "Do you want to send out an email to everyone about that or shall I?". In other words, I'm trying to palm off my responsibilities on to you, does that sound ok?
* The guy sitting 5 feet from me who doesn't close his fken mouth when he chews. He is doing it right now as i type this. He's eating a pear and it's going to be the last pear he ever eats if he doesn't stop making those disgusting slurping sounds. Didn't your mother teach you any table manners arseh*le?
* The Men's room cubicles. There is no way to see if the door is locked on the outside, so the only way to check if it is occupied is to try to push it open. It is very disturbing for me when i am doing a nice leisurely bog when some bloke pushes against the door trying to get in.
* The guy who walks around the office loudly whistling "Camptown Races". Bloody nerd.
* Chipping in for the going away present of the people i don't like. There was an old hag i worked with who i gladly would have pushed into oncoming traffic given the chance. When she was leaving a guy comes to me with an envelope and asks for cash. I told him i wasn't chipping in because i hated the mole and he laughed and said 'Nah, seriously, c'mon' to which i explained that i was deadly serious and he should go away before there's trouble.
* In my office when it's your birthday YOU are expected to bring in a cake FOR EVERYBODY ELSE TO EAT! Call me old fashioned, but when it's MY birthday, YOU give things to ME, not the other way around!
Sadly what you wrote is so very very true.
