Computers & Internet Tinder

[Shell]

And men aren't?!

Got 3 Meet ups now in Dec. Spread out one a week, starting next week.

Gonna try this meeting a guy the old school way- in person.

 

[Sketi]

Once you get to a certain age, this attitude has to change. Im 30 now, the chance of me finding a bird without kids is minimal (i dont want kids but realistically it rules out a massive amount of options) let alone people older. Isnt the chick in question here late 30s? Needle in haystack at that point...

Brah you are 30 not 40. Was dating at your age a couple of years ago (mostly interested in girls in their late 20s) and the vast majority of people on apps did not have kids. People are having kids later and later these days and more are going child-free.

Maybe it's more like this in Melbourne though.

 

[Fabab]

And men aren't?!

Got 3 Meet ups now in Dec. Spread out one a week, starting next week.

Gonna try this meeting a guy the old school way- in person.

Good luck.

 

[burge13]

Brah you are 30 not 40. Was dating at your age a couple of years ago (mostly interested in girls in their late 20s) and the vast majority of people on apps did not have kids. People are having kids later and later these days and more are going child-free.

Maybe it's more like this in Melbourne though.

My anecdotal evidence seems to be those smart enough to not have kids by 30 are in steady relationships anyway. This leaves nutcases, 'full-time mummies' (vastly different to a single mum. Don't get these confused), and the desperate available. Maybe I'm unlucky or haven't looked at these apps long enough. I was incredibly quick to give up when I looked ages ago admittedly

 

[iluvparis]

Brah you are 30 not 40. Was dating at your age a couple of years ago (mostly interested in girls in their late 20s) and the vast majority of people on apps did not have kids. People are having kids later and later these days and more are going child-free.

Maybe it's more like this in Melbourne though.

Nah its just an horrific call by old mate - 30yos only able to go on dates with women that already have kids?!? ROFL

PS - tap the Asian market - there mothers are basically forcing them on dates by that age

 

[JezzasOnTheAsphalt]

I had one where we were chatting for a bit, she told me she didn't go on the app much so hit her up on messenger. I did but didn't actually add her on facebook, few messages back and forth, she then adds me on facebook and then a day or so later... nothing. Have no idea what happened.

Girls are confusing.

Would assume that she’s then given you a Facebook stalk and doesn’t like something that she’s seen. Or is just in the online dating game to make a Facebook friend.

 

[royboy2]

39 & new to the online dating scene this year. Can honestly say I have no idea, people don't talk on the phone anymore so my flirting game is way off.
Not to mention the amount of international profiles that say they are close but aren't.

 

[Sketi]

39 & new to the online dating scene this year. Can honestly say I have no idea, people don't talk on the phone anymore so my flirting game is way off.
Not to mention the amount of international profiles that say they are close but aren't.

Ask if you can give them a call dude! Great way for both parties to check if a first date is worth pursuing. It's still done, especially this year.

 

[Scotland]

I feel sorry for single women in their 30s who are realistic.

 

[ash_1050]

My anecdotal evidence seems to be those smart enough to not have kids by 30 are in steady relationships anyway. This leaves nutcases, 'full-time mummies' (vastly different to a single mum. Don't get these confused), and the desperate available. Maybe I'm unlucky or haven't looked at these apps long enough. I was incredibly quick to give up when I looked ages ago admittedly

That could just be an Adelaide thing. Plenty of other reasons why someone would be single at 30, namely they've focused on their career, or they've spent a large chunk of their 20s living abroad.

Regarding apps Tinder is still seen more as a hook up app or more casual connections. Apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge and Bumble have all worked their way into the 'find someone to date' category.

It's pretty easy to meet people on these apps, if you're struggling then you're doing something wrong along the way, whether it be your photos, bio, conversation or coming across as dull or a creep. Putting in the barest amount of effort to present yourself well does wonders.

 

[burge13]

That could just be an Adelaide thing. Plenty of other reasons why someone would be single at 30, namely they've focused on their career, or they've spent a large chunk of their 20s living abroad.

Regarding apps Tinder is still seen more as a hook up app or more casual connections. Apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge and Bumble have all worked their way into the 'find someone to date' category.

It's pretty easy to meet people on these apps, if you're struggling then you're doing something wrong along the way, whether it be your photos, bio, conversation or coming across as dull or a creep. Putting in the barest amount of effort to present yourself well does wonders.

Yeah look, I used it for about a week (maybe more but it wasn't much) and just didn't like it. An abundance of full-time mums, tats from head to toe (this looks shit, the next person who looks good with this will be the first), and clear nut cases put me off a bit then matches not replying (you'll say "be interesting" but if she was interested she'd have a convo) just made the entire thing pointless. That said, in 2020 you almost have no choice but to be on these apps. Meeting 'the normal way' is a bit of a rarity atm so you have to jump back on.

 

[Shell]

Yeah look, I used it for about a week (maybe more but it wasn't much) and just didn't like it. An abundance of full-time mums, tats from head to toe (this looks sh*t, the next person who looks good with this will be the first), and clear nut cases put me off a bit then matches not replying (you'll say "be interesting" but if she was interested she'd have a convo) just made the entire thing pointless. That said, in 2020 you almost have no choice but to be on these apps. Meeting 'the normal way' is a bit of a rarity atm so you have to jump back on.

I found with my (limited) time on RSVP, ppl who would send a PM definitely would follow it up, because it costs money to do that lol. (About $5 iirc) "Kisses" were free- just to show an "interest" in someone, then hope like hell they'd pay the cash to contact you haha. (sorry im a tight ass)

But yeah, once we chatted it was ok, then would meet for a date- coffee/drink whatever.

Were just awkward/average dates. Maybe I shouldnt have given up so easily tho. That was back around the time I was 26/27 yo.

 

[burge13]

I found with my (limited) time on RSVP, ppl who would send a PM definitely would follow it up, because it costs money to do that lol. (About $5 iirc) "Kisses" were free- just to show an "interest" in someone, then hope like hell they'd pay the cash to contact you haha. (sorry im a tight ass)

But yeah, once we chatted it was ok, then would meet for a date- coffee/drink whatever.

Were just awkward/average dates. Maybe I shouldnt have given up so easily tho. That was back around the time I was 26/27 yo.

Good looking girls in a bar have every bloke looking at them BUT very few have the bottle to go talk to them. On Tinder, everyone swipes and she just picks. The old school, meeting in a bar way, is an advantage for us blokes who aren't in the top 2% of looks but will talk in a bar LOL. #BanTinder

 

[Shell]

Good looking girls in a bar have every bloke looking at them BUT very few have the bottle to go talk to them. On Tinder, everyone swipes and she just picks. The old school, meeting in a bar way, is an advantage for us blokes who aren't in the top 2% of looks LOL. #BanTinder

I'm hardly drop dead gorgeous- no way, but srsly- back when I went clubbing and stuff, the line to sum up how the opposite sex felt about me would be: "Couldnt be less interested". Never got approached.

 

[Billy ray]

just go on bumble for a bit Shell. worked for my gf - look what she got!

 

[Shell]

 

[ash_1050]

Yeah look, I used it for about a week (maybe more but it wasn't much) and just didn't like it. An abundance of full-time mums, tats from head to toe (this looks sh*t, the next person who looks good with this will be the first), and clear nut cases put me off a bit then matches not replying (you'll say "be interesting" but if she was interested she'd have a convo) just made the entire thing pointless. That said, in 2020 you almost have no choice but to be on these apps. Meeting 'the normal way' is a bit of a rarity atm so you have to jump back on.

You're worrying about external factors you can't control, rather than the ones that you can.

Tinder is a sales funnel, that is to say it's a numbers game and you need to identify bottlenecks in the funnel to get better at conversion. Here's the bare basics to getting more matches and getting more engagement, the first two steps of your funnel. It's a numbers game, you may swipe right on 100 women, of which you match with 10, of which 6 respond. The below allows you to get to 15 matches per 100 people and 10-12 responses from those 15 matches.

I'm not getting enough matches. Then your photos and/or bio sucks. Or you're swiping right on everyone, which means Tinder will only ever display your photo to women who also swipe right on everyone. This is on you to improve your bio, it's much easier to match when you come across as someone who's interesting and stands out from every other bio. Protip: photos of you posing with a fish, gun or a woman contractually obliged to take photos of you (e.g. Jim Beam promo girls) only work when you're in the country and there's less than 5000 people within a 100km radius of you. Sharpen up your bio and get it critically reviewed by a female friend or gay male friend, they'll identify all the subtle things you miss as a straight male.

My matches don't write to me/don't respond. For all the talk of equality in the 21st century the onus is still on the guy to initiate the conversation, which is completely fine and it means you have a chance to impress. This is the most difficult hurdle as there's a fair chance she gets a 20-1 ratio of matches compared to you, so you want to be someone worth talking to. Don't send a message as soon as you guys match, that's weird and a bit creepy that you're sitting around waiting to send a message straight away. Give it 30 minutes or so and then send through a message that's either profile specific or generic but engaging.

Profile specific try and avoid the basic things that everyone would refer to and instead look for something different (hey, was that travel photo taken in Budapest? I was there in X and loved it. Did you do Y while you were there?) rather than something basic (hey you like Tame Impala, me too, we have so much in common). The good thing about this approach is even if you get the city/hiking trail/beach/wine/venue wrong you'll probably still get a response as it's showing you're a) someone who's interested in them as a person and b) thinks outside the square a bit in creating conversation.

Alternately generic but engaging is something that's non profile specific but otherwise a good conversational opener. My go to recently has been "Hi X, which Hogwarts house would you be sorted into and why?", but it works just as easy with "Which N'Sync member or Backstreet Boy did you have a crush on while at school?" or anything else that conjures up feelings of nostalgia with a chance for them to show off a little bit of their personality in a safe way. There's absolutely no obligation for them to actually enjoy the topic at hand, it still more of then than not gets a response of "would you be mad if I said I wasn't into Harry Potter?" or "I was more into S-Club 7".

There's plenty more to it beyond that (your second message is the most important of the lot), and I'm happy to break down more details for the next stages of the funnel if you're interested, but for now your main issue seems to be these first two macro level steps. Doing those first couple of things properly results in about 50% more matches, and twice as much engagement once you match with someone. Complaining about the quality of women on Tinder is like a fisherman sitting there complaining about his fishing location, rather than worrying about his choice of bait and where he casts his line.

Also I'm aware "sales funnel" is probably not the best choice of words when it comes to finding a partner and narrowing down the field, but it's the most applicable given it's exactly like a sales process, only you're selling yourself as being dateable/casual sexable, so that's the word I've landed on.

 

[utility]

39 & new to the online dating scene this year. Can honestly say I have no idea, people don't talk on the phone anymore so my flirting game is way off.
Not to mention the amount of international profiles that say they are close but aren't.

Seeking Arrangement for something short-term.

Ashley Madison for something long-term.

Instagram if you're socially impaired.

OnlyFans if you're really, really socially impaired.

If you've "experimented" with farm animals in the past then Hinge, Bumble and basically any other app for quality bovine action.

IRL is still better. IRL and overseas is still best.

 

[Richard Cranium]

I've gone on plenty of app dates with girls ranging from 23-35 years old and only one of them had a kid, and she was a former Mormon who had gotten married and had a kid quite early. No idea where this 'every single girl around 30 in Adelaide is a mum/headcase' is coming from.

But then I'm ridiculously handsome, tall, charming and have an incredibly large penis, so maybe my experience is different to old mate above's.

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

I've gone on plenty of app dates with girls ranging from 23-35 years old and only one of them had a kid, and she was a former Mormon who had gotten married and had a kid quite early. No idea where this 'every single girl around 30 in Adelaide is a mum/headcase' is coming from.

But then I'm ridiculously handsome, tall, charming and have an incredibly large penis, so maybe my experience is different to old mate above's.

Avatar checks out.

 

[dales.girl38]

I feel sorry for single women in their 30s who are realistic.

This is me in 8 months but I'll take your sympathy now. Cheers.

 

[Shell]

This is me in 8 months but I'll take your sympathy now. Cheers.

Think you'll do anything for your 30th?


I had a nightclub booth booked for my 40th, but i ended up cancelling a few weeks prior. And coivd hit, pretty much the same weekend as when I had it booked. So very lucky. Sad to miss out, but lucky.

 

[dales.girl38]

Think you'll do anything for your 30th?


I had a nightclub booth booked for my 40th, but i ended up cancelling a few weeks prior. And coivd hit, pretty much the same weekend as when I had it booked. So very lucky. Sad to miss out, but lucky.

Nah, I have a couple of small groups of really good friends and then just individual friends who don't know each other, not really enough for a party as such. I will probably just catch up with some of them separately for dinner. I'm pretty low key with birthdays.

 

[Shell]

Nah, I have a couple of small groups of really good friends and then just individual friends who don't know each other, not really enough for a party as such. I will probably just catch up with some of them separately for dinner. I'm pretty low key with birthdays.

I had a big thing for my 30th. Regretted it- should have done something smaller, and cheaper.

 

[Catfish Alley]

My 40th got screwed over by Covid this year too. Rather than a Rolling Stones concert, I ended up just listening to music at home and having drinks with friends over Zoom.