Tom Hawkins draft profile

[nananana catman]

Geelongblog has compiled a profile for all excited Cat fans on Tom Hawkins, enjoy.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Tom Hawkins has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins does not sleep. He waits.
• Tom Hawkins is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Tom Hawkins is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Tom Hawkins counted to infinity - twice.
• There is no chin behind Tom Hawkins’ beard. There is only another fist.
• When Tom Hawkins does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Tom Hawkins is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Tom Hawkins’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Tom Hawkins was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Tom Hawkins can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Tom Hawkins doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Tom Hawkins gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Tom Hawkins can slam a revolving door.
• Tom Hawkins does not get frostbite. Tom Hawkins bites frost

 

[fugsy]

Chuck Norris Board...still funny though

 

[brett_go_cats]

Lol nice, we should make a Hawkins Bible a bit like the Van Bible on Bay 13

 

[winty]

Geelongblog has compiled a profile for all excited Cat fans on Tom Hawkins, enjoy.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Tom Hawkins has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins does not sleep. He waits.
• Tom Hawkins is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Tom Hawkins is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Tom Hawkins counted to infinity - twice.
• There is no chin behind Tom Hawkins’ beard. There is only another fist.
• When Tom Hawkins does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Tom Hawkins is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Tom Hawkins’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Tom Hawkins was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Tom Hawkins can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Tom Hawkins doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Tom Hawkins gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Tom Hawkins can slam a revolving door.
• Tom Hawkins does not get frostbite. Tom Hawkins bites frost

ROTFLMAOPIMP

Great stuff there catman. Funniest thing I've seen in a while!

 

[nananana catman]

Lol nice, we should make a Hawkins Bible a bit like the Van Bible on Bay 13

Yeah, not a bad idea.

 

[wires on fire.]

- tom hawkins' sidekick xavier ellis wears a pink cartigan.

 

[Mr Sensitive]

good stuff, though I think I've read the same ones with Chuck Norris..

 

[Mooney_d'King]

I thought that was too good to be original - brilliant!!!!!! Well plagiarised!!!!

 

[SJ]

Just hope he isn't reading it.

 

[nananana catman]

Just hope he isn't reading it.

Hawkins or Wally?

 

[Jimmy Gwilt]

Geelongblog has compiled a profile for all excited Cat fans on Tom Hawkins, enjoy.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Tom Hawkins has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins does not sleep. He waits.
• Tom Hawkins is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Tom Hawkins is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Tom Hawkins counted to infinity - twice.
• There is no chin behind Tom Hawkins’ beard. There is only another fist.
• When Tom Hawkins does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Tom Hawkins is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Tom Hawkins’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Tom Hawkins was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Tom Hawkins can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Tom Hawkins doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Tom Hawkins gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Tom Hawkins can slam a revolving door.
• Tom Hawkins does not get frostbite. Tom Hawkins bites frost

LMFAO - Awesome - Cant Wait Too See This Kid Play

 

[-Junior-]

lol nice work!

 

[chapmanmagic35]

Hahaha! Funny stuff!

 

[Inferno]

Geelongblog has compiled a profile for all excited Cat fans on Tom Hawkins, enjoy.

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Tom Hawkins has allowed to live.
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Tom Hawkins.
• Tom Hawkins does not sleep. He waits.
• Tom Hawkins is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Tom Hawkins is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Tom Hawkins counted to infinity - twice.
• There is no chin behind Tom Hawkins’ beard. There is only another fist.
• When Tom Hawkins does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Tom Hawkins is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
• Tom Hawkins’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
• There is no such thing as global warming. Tom Hawkins was cold, so he turned the sun up.
• Tom Hawkins can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
• Tom Hawkins doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• Tom Hawkins gave Mona Lisa that smile.
• Tom Hawkins can slam a revolving door.
• Tom Hawkins does not get frostbite. Tom Hawkins bites frost

• Tom Hawkins makes onions cry.
• America had 2 ways to end WW2. Drop A-bombs or fly Tom Hawkins to Japan. They chose the option that would kill less people.

 

[Vinnie Vegas]

- tom hawkins' sidekick xavier ellis wears a pink cartigan.

You can amend that:

-Tom Hawkins hangs around with young AFL draftees... In case he gets hungry.

 

[Ricketts]