Worst commentators and their catch phrases

[DangerSloane]

Cameron Ling is an idiot. Even geelong supporters dislike him. Ling tries so hard to not come across as biased, you'd be forgiven for thinking he hates Geelong like hird hates Hawthorn. He also has a very poor understanding of the rules and poor knowledge of AFL players as demonstrated above.

Why are certain commentators allowed to commentate on their career team? Dermott should be kept away from Hawks games, Ling should be kept away from Cats games, and Luke Darcy should be executed.

Fooled the rest of us when every 2nd comment is "at geelong we did...."

 

[Moonwatcher]

Bruce - "[something that we all already know] - we know that."

Already into it.

"Can't let Neade get away because they won't catch him - we know that" - BM

 

[Mead]

Bruce is such a flog but I can't stand listening to Dermott... Longest special comments ever!

If you were a player, derm is the one you'd want to stfu.

His standard 15 minute special comment always starts with a <100 game player losing a 50-50 contest. eg let's say they punched when they could have marked.

Then it begins.

"he'd be disappointed with that. When you've got a young player in that situation, as a coach sometimes you just would really want them, a young defender like X, who we know is a good young player with a future ahead of him, no doubt about it, but he really needs to think through that situation better and in contests where you've got the genuine jump on a forward, or some sense that they've got a real advantage in the marking duel, like a genuine real advantage just to have the knowledge and experience to know that you can really impose on those contest and put his hands up and use his awareness to not do what he's done there and instead mark it rather than punching but you know thats okay that's something which will come with more awareness more game time and just a greater degree of experience , or as it is known in german "erfahrung" or in swahili "uzoefu", as a coach you would want him to have a real good think about that, and that's worthwhile for young kids who are watching to bear in mind when they are working on their own skills."

Then later in the game when the same player wins a 50-50 "that's better from X...(repeat comment)"

 

[AdamE89]

If you were a player, derm is the one you'd want to stfu.

His standard 15 minute special comment always starts with a <100 game player losing a 50-50 contest. eg let's say they punched when they could have marked.

Then it begins.

"he'd be disappointed with that. When you've got a young player in that situation, as a coach sometimes you just would really want them, a young defender like X, who we know is a good young player with a future ahead of him, no doubt about it, but he really needs to think through that situation better and in contests where you've got the genuine jump on a forward, or some sense that they've got a real advantage in the marking duel, like a genuine real advantage just to have the knowledge and experience to know that you can really impose on those contest and put his hands up and use his awareness to not do what he's done there and instead mark it rather than punching but you know thats okay that's something which will come with more awareness more game time and just a greater degree of experience , or as it is known in german "erfahrung" or in swahili "uzoefu", as a coach you would want him to have a real good think about that, and that's worthwhile for young kids who are watching to bear in mind when they are working on their own skills."

Then later in the game when the same player wins a 50-50 "that's better from X...(repeat comment)"

That was absolute gold. I can add to that, which someone on this thread had earlier posted, which in my opinion tops anything;

Dermott Brereton- 'Gee He's a great size isn't He? 190-191, about 6'2, 6 2 and a half in the old language. Reminds me of <insert nondescript Hawthorn player from the mid- late 80's>

 

[Registered User]

Wayne Schwass, who doesn't pronounce his own surname properly (he says "Swoss", instead of "Schwoss"), has started saying (a lot): "He sends a speculative kick down the ground. That's a speculative ball..."

What is that?

 

[Strapping Young Lad]

Wayne Schwass, who doesn't pronounce his own surname properly (he says "Swoss", instead of "Schwoss"), has started saying (a lot): "He sends a speculative kick down the ground. That's a speculative ball..."

What is that?

Rex said it better.

"an up-country, worm-burning, mongrel, finger-breaking, kyabram punt, kick."

 

[PoopingHindi]

******* Bruce McAvaney hey?
almost every sentence ends in "hey?" or begins with some version of "you get the feeling"

say something definitive for once you limp-wristed tool

 

[Registered User]

Rex said it better.

"an up-country, worm-burning, mongrel, finger-breaking, kyabram punt, kick."

Exactly! If you're gunna say something that doesn't make sense, at least make it amusing

 

[DT2000]

Bruce with the "(player name), couldn't quite..." and he leaves it at that, never elaborates - I mean couldn't quite what?

 

[raven echo]

******* Bruce McAvaney hey?
almost every sentence ends in "hey?" or begins with some version of "you get the feeling"

say something definitive for once you limp-wristed tool

Or "you reckon?"

No one answers and he just keeps prattling on.

 

[ize_]

Mark MacLure has been on ABC radio for years but I swear he barely even follows AFL. He has two tricks - one is to make callous "tough" calls which don't actually have any basis in reality and just serve to demonstrate how little he knows about the modern game, and the other is to just simply list the names of the players who are playing on the day. When he's doing his pre-game or his better players at the end of the match, he quite literally just reads out the team sheet and offers next to no insight beyond the names. I don't get how he is allowed to get away with that.

 

[MELTY]

Basil Zempilas was actually unlistenable yesterday, never had an issue with him before, but yesterday he went past the usual white noise of not really taking any notice of commentary to the fingernails on the chalkboard repetitiveness to try and find some relevance alongside Commetti and Matthews.

The constant "Fremantle are ladder leaders", "Fremantle are still clear on top", "Fremantle are 3 games clear of Hawthorn" while they were having their pants pulled down was just infuriating.

 

[Wilfork]

Bruce's guttural orgasm honking for the last 30 seconds of the game on Thursday night was the worst TV of 2015.

 

[Mr Mediocracy]

I have no idea who the commentary team was on Triple M broadcasting the Sydney game but whoever the nuffy was continually saying "champs" was annoying. Everyone was called "champs".

 

[Isosceles]

I have no idea who the commentary team was on Triple M broadcasting the Sydney game but whoever the nuffy was continually saying "champs" was annoying. Everyone was called "champs".

Richard Champion is called Champs. My guess is he was commentating.

 

[Isosceles]

Basil Zempilas was actually unlistenable yesterday, never had an issue with him before, but yesterday he went past the usual white noise of not really taking any notice of commentary to the fingernails on the chalkboard repetitiveness to try and find some relevance alongside Commetti and Matthews.

The constant "Fremantle are ladder leaders", "Fremantle are still clear on top", "Fremantle are 3 games clear of Hawthorn" while they were having their pants pulled down was just infuriating.

I didn't find him all that bad to be honest. Usually he gets under my skin. He needs to stop trying so hard to impress Dennis with his pathetic little quips and puns.

 

[CJApples87]

Mark MacLure has been on ABC radio for years but I swear he barely even follows AFL. He has two tricks - one is to make callous "tough" calls which don't actually have any basis in reality and just serve to demonstrate how little he knows about the modern game, and the other is to just simply list the names of the players who are playing on the day. When he's doing his pre-game or his better players at the end of the match, he quite literally just reads out the team sheet and offers next to no insight beyond the names. I don't get how he is allowed to get away with that.

Well, where's he at? These are the questions that have got to be asked. I don't have the answers to 'em at the moment, but the questions got to be asked. Where's he at?

 

[simba_]

i think "shorts it" is my favorite dumb term that makes no sense

 

[ize_]

Looks like every single Adelaide player playing today is a "barometer" according to BM.

 

[stars alive]

yeah? what game was it?

2013 AFL GRAND FINAL..THE CALLER RICK WAS SENSATIONAL..SAME GUY WHO COMMENTATED GWS V ESSENDON IN SYDNEY IN ARABIC ON THE WEEKEND

 

[Poppacorn]

Who do you think is the worst commentator and what do they say that annoys you? For me it is Dwayne Russell. We know the obvious catch phrases by Bruce and BT but I reckon Dwayne is just as bad. Here are a few to get it rolling.....

1. The natives are restless (says it every venue he commentates at)
2. Out of play on the full (Irritates me how he says play instead of bounds)
3. Nails it!
4. Squeeeeeezes it in (it went straight through the middle)
5. The West Coast (hate how he says "the" when he refers to West Coast)
6. Steals it..... Rolls it..... Goals it...
7. Countless irrelevant facts a QTR. For example, what the player would be doing if they were not an AFL player or what the players father made them do after school when they were 10. Just stupid facts that by the time he was done telling us, the ball had gone through 3 different players.

Interesting to see who you think is the worst....

A lot of commentators say The GWS, which doesn't really make sense.

 

[Poppacorn]

Can't stand "Top of the Table." It's an f'n ladder! Wish the sponsors Baileys Ladders would have a word to MMM.

I know it's not a catch-cry, but hat it when MMM commentators talk about how they stopped in at McDonald's the other day and had x tasty burger...

 

[CJApples87]

A lot of commentators say The GWS, which doesn't really make sense.

Yep, or The Greater Wester Sydney... Which implies they are the better of multiple Western Sydney teams rather than Greater Western Sydney which refers to a large area.

 

[PoppedCorn]

little chiseler from BT
and
gave him the stiff arm from richo

 

[Coys]

There is a commentator on triple M (one of the b list callers) who calls every kick "shoe". "Onto the left shoe!" "Shuey throws it on the shoe!" Can't stand it I almost give the radio a shoeing every single time