- Sep 6, 2005
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When it rains it pours. But it was good for you...adversity makes you stronger
Women who date a-hole blokes
- Thread starter Cmarsh
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Shell
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- Aug 8, 2010
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- Aug 8, 2010
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The half divorce rate is for all marriages (including people on their third or fourth marriage). I heard it's much lower for couples in their first marriage.
- Jul 9, 2010
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Agree with this. It's very Disney but your friends and family are the biggest things in your life: they're what you work for and they're the things you sacrifice for. The cynical way of looking at it is to put it down to genetics – these emotions is how nature keeps us happy, and, keeps us rooting and having kids.
Although I also agree that the notion of 'true love' is ludicrous, and that we all do really just settle for someone. We find someone at a time when we're looking. That's basically how relationships at all levels form and grow. At 20, the difference between a one nighter and a relationship is (aside from them being ugly), whether you're both looking for something more. At 30, it happens because you're both shopping around.
You can still love that person. You can still have a good time. You're still drawn to that person initially – it's not like you're grimacing like Chris Judd every time you see them. It is still love but it's not this idealised version where you're both 'meant to be' or you're the only ones for one another.
You can have the love you have with your wife/girlfriend with plenty of people. You just happen to have it with them because of timing and circumstance.
In a way, that's almost nicer – you don't have to look and search for ages, every so often you can just get up and that's the day you'll meet someone you like. It could happen any day – not happen on just one day.
apparentlydead
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More drooling crap.
Have you got a time machine?
If not, how in the hell would a kid in his early 20's know about life choices made by people in their 30's?
Have you ever been in love? I would guarantee that as a no.
Ever been married? No again.
Ever even had a long term relationship? No, yet again.
You wouldn't know s**t from really poor quality shineoleum.
I think he's right on a couple of things. True love exists. 'The one' isn't really a thing though.
apparentlydead
Cancelled
Yeah, but he's reading it in books and guessing the rest.
At his age he should be reading and learning, not postulating and pontificating.
- Jul 9, 2010
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Aren't you like 70? Pretty sure you can get locked up for hassling "kids" on the internet mate.
How old is he?
- Aug 8, 2010
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It's how some people learn though. Take a history course, for example, where the teacher will encourage students to form and defend their own views from day 1 despite a complete lack of experience in the field.
I don't think it's as black and white as that. Relationships and your take on them vary a lot from person to person. I met my wife at around 20.
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Yeah I think a successful relationship comes down to your values and understanding a few key principles. Not especially age related. I have a few drinking buddies who are very "experienced" in such matters, but I certainly wouldn't ask them for marriage advice.
apparentlydead
Cancelled
I'm not your mate and I'm merely stating a fact.
A long way short of what our resident wannabe Hemmingway thinks.
I don't think that is a valid comparison.
Affairs of the heart are far more complex.
Pretty sure you can't actually.
Apparently dead seems always cranky
apparentlydead
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- Apr 27, 2008
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Sorry to hear Shell, but there's a lot worse than that.
My current partner has made some awful decisions in the past.
I have a mate who is seeing a girl who is the same.
A girl from work, jesus, what was she thinking?
My mate and I politely refer to it as "head scratchers".
Obviously we weren't there, but based on the character of the exes that see for ourselves and the stories we hear, it's obvious to any rationale person that at no point was there any happiness and functionality in the relationship, it was like a couple of people bumbling through s**t they think they have to do together, whilst meanwhile, the male in the relationship is out (or in) cheating, boozing, fighting, abusing and intimidating, generally acting like one of those hardcore kids from school that never had to grow up and handle real responsibility and consequence. The females allowed this behaviour to happen with their knowledge, and chose not to do anything about it at the time. Head scratching stuff, and they aren't one offs.
It probably goes the other way, but all my mates, the female exes have been not the right fit, not any real malice and a-hole aspects in the relationship, just didn't work out. Even my mate who at 24 is already divorced whose ex was a habitual cheater, even she wasn't as much as a dropkick as any of these fellas.
My current partner has made some awful decisions in the past.
I have a mate who is seeing a girl who is the same.
A girl from work, jesus, what was she thinking?
My mate and I politely refer to it as "head scratchers".
Obviously we weren't there, but based on the character of the exes that see for ourselves and the stories we hear, it's obvious to any rationale person that at no point was there any happiness and functionality in the relationship, it was like a couple of people bumbling through s**t they think they have to do together, whilst meanwhile, the male in the relationship is out (or in) cheating, boozing, fighting, abusing and intimidating, generally acting like one of those hardcore kids from school that never had to grow up and handle real responsibility and consequence. The females allowed this behaviour to happen with their knowledge, and chose not to do anything about it at the time. Head scratching stuff, and they aren't one offs.
It probably goes the other way, but all my mates, the female exes have been not the right fit, not any real malice and a-hole aspects in the relationship, just didn't work out. Even my mate who at 24 is already divorced whose ex was a habitual cheater, even she wasn't as much as a dropkick as any of these fellas.
