Certified Legendary Thread HELP: I need to learn MMA asap

[Checkers Nixon]

I need help lads.

For a few weeks now there has been abit of trouble brewing between me and this bloke that I know (he is the current boy friend of my ex girlfriend).

Anyway, its getting to the stage where its a kill or be killed / dog eat dog scenario. I know that I need to launch a pre-emptive strike against this bloke to take him out before he has a chance of attacking me.

The problem is that he is a pretty big bloke - 6'5 115kg. I am only 5'11 and about 80kg.

I have been told by a mate that he will be at a party I am going to on Saturday night and I think that some trouble might kick off.

Is there any kind of martial art ebook that you guys recommend that I could read up on before then? I need to learn some moves ASAP.

I was told by a friend that Krav Maga was really good to learn, but I think MMA is better just in case the fight goes to ground and turns into a grapple.

What do you guys recommend? Do you have any tactics that I should use?

I have got 3 mates that are coming along to give me backup, but they suggest I get in first and king hit him. I am a bit reluctant to do that, because its a gutless way to win a fight. I would much rather win properly, but I will resort to dirty tricks if need be.

Need some help boys.

 

[Crimson Azure]

1. you can't learn a MMA in a few days.

2. Just walk away, you don't have to fight anyone.

 

[Magnum]

Mate, I suggest you should probably get out of there - talk the situation through. Fighting should be your very last option. At this point in time, I don't think ebooks will help you.

I've had a few fights and since those days I've done about 5 years of BJJ and self defense training, I haven't had to use any of my new skills thankfully, but looking back its amazing to see what basic things people do wrong. If there are a few very basic things I can tell you.

1. Don't drink. If you think there might be trouble stay sober and keep your wits.

2. Avoid the fight if AT ALL POSSIBLE. Walk, run, be a 'coward', it don't mean s**t. Hell, the guy might have a knife. It's not worth it.

3. If you have no other choice and you KNOW it's going down, act passive, put up what we call a 'fence' - you hands out in front of you, as if you are engaging in conversation with the "mate I don't want to fight" gesture - see this -http://www.completeselfprotection.com/Images/controlling_fence.jpg

4. Don't get backed into anywhere, have a place to run.

5. If he's still coming at you and you know its on, keep calm take you right hand back, still keeping the fence, no fist, as if gesturing to ask a question, this is keeping your your right hand cocked.

6. Now ask him a question, any question to engage his brain "what did you have for breakfast?" or "do know know what the time is?" it may sound silly, but that split second while he's thinking you unleash with all you've got on his jaw, and then GTFO of there. The other thing you can try (dangerous because you're not looking at him) is to change your gaze over his shoulder and put an expession of "what the hell is that!?" to try to get him to look over his shoulder to check out what you're looking at and then BAM - see above.

Good luck.

 

[GeneralDisarray]

Kick him in the balls then plough your ex girlfriend

/end thread

 

[Magnum]

that was my next suggestion

 

[likka]

Kick him in the balls then plough your ex girlfriend

/end thread

This thread reminds me I need to learn to be a concert pianist within a couple of weeks... any tips fellas?

 

[drew_j]

The guys 6'5 and 115Kg.

If you want to fight I recommend prayer. You're gonna get your arse kicked

If you want to be smart walk away. Fighting is for ****wits. You're not a coward for backing down.

 

[Sportman1987]

Lmao. Just pull guard and hope it sorts itself out

 

[drew_j]

Lmao. Just pull guard and hope it sorts itself out

Or just go all out and go the flying scissor heel hook al la Ryo Chonan. Losing and looking cool > losing.

 

[wirra44]

take a baseball bat

 

[Godfrey Jones]

This thread reminds me I need to learn to be a concert pianist within a couple of weeks... any tips fellas?

lmao.

 

[drew_j]

I wonder if CN is in traction right now

 

[nobbyiscool]

this thread is totally the best thing on the internet right now. i'm very sad that the OP has been red carded - i wanted to hear how it turns out!

my advice would've been steel cap boots and kick him in the shin

although i prefer the idea of kicking him in the nads then ploughing the chick

 

[charcolechaddy]

Nixon by armbar!!

 

[Magnum]

I heard nixon went for a flying triangle but missed and then got head stomped ala Wand/Yuki Kondo!

any other rumours?

 

[Crimson Azure]

I heard that didn't even make the party, rather whilst he was getting dressed he went to put on his peruvian necktie & passed out.

 

[GeneralDisarray]

i heard that didn't even make the party, rather whilst he was getting dressed he went to put on his peruvian necktie & passed out.

zomg roflcopter this post ftw!!!oneone

 

[Godfrey Jones]

haha that was pretty good

 

[Bodicifer]

I would suggest the OP should rent out a great movie that will teach him in 90 minutes flat and that is Nacho Libre. This will probably give him the moves he is going to need to be successful.

If all else fails I am of the opinion that if you know you are going to lose the fight, just start punching yourself and the other bloke will think "WTF" and probably just laugh and walk away. Remember, if you were going to lose anyway then it means that your punches would be less harmful than his so you will be in less pain anyway.

 

[drew_j]

This guy might be able to help

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[WA ROO]

Maybe Bas's vid could help
[YOUTUBE]D3K-mrlYG7Y[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Bodicifer]

Maybe Bas's vid could help
[youtube]D3K-mrlYG7Y[/youtube]

Bas is the man, pound for pound one of the toughest blokes in the world.

 

[Magnum]

that knife fighting video is legendary... almost as good as

[youtube]gEDaCIDvj6I[/youtube]

 

[drew_j]

/thread (in joke)

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[Mean Muggin]

Do a barrel roll...