Seriously, when is this going into the Olympics?
People of BigFooty - Just how terrible at sports were you?
- Thread starter Smoooothy
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- Nov 24, 2008
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Yeah, this is me as well. Played cricket for Victoria as a junior, but stopped playing altogether once my closest mates stopped. Similar with footy.
(Not even close to subtle brag)
JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
I was shit at Basketball and all sports I did. Funnily enough, I was a decent off-spinner and scored a hat-trick.
Gigantic
Brownlow Medallist
Good at basketball, played for school team, local league and club representative level. I played rugby league, football/soccer, cricket and tennis growing up so I was always pretty decent at those. I held my own in athletics but never really took it seriously other than the 100m sprint and I sucked bad at swimming.
Plugger35
The umpires are always right!
- Sep 27, 2008
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Would be a funny sport to watch, players getting red carded for not yelling "fish out of water" when they jumped out of the pool and then jumped back in.
Then there would be players doing bombies or paddling around on banana racers or other inflatable shit.
Australia would probably get the gold every time as no one else would know the rules or the intricacies of the sport.
I was a bit the same at cricket, I was decent at it at junior level but once I got to around 16 or 17 I gave it up as all my mates were going out and getting on the booze on weekends, going to parties etc and playing cricket took up too much time.
There's a lot of talented junior players that fall by the wayside once drinking booze with your mates and chasing chicks takes over, the ones that make it are the ones that are truly driven to play the sport above all that stuff.
I never had the talent to go much further than grade level cricket in Perth though, if I had the talent of Kim Hughes or Damien Martyn it might have been different.
You're Nathan Lyon?
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- Apr 28, 2008
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I did a lot of swimming as a kid, and yet was always special when it came to breaststroke. Always last in the queue, getting special training, overtaken by the slowpokes in other strokes. For years. It was the bane of my pool existence.
My inner core has always been a joke, so things like the high bar and stretching to one's toes were beyond me. Unheld sit-ups only to a certain extent.
I was never able to throw tennis/cricket balls (or the like) long distances. Accurate, but limited range.
I lacked courage with rollerskating and skateboarding. I'd go down a ramp or do some basic skating, but tricks on the move, dropping in and ice hockey were one step too far for me, never went past training wheels.
My inner core has always been a joke, so things like the high bar and stretching to one's toes were beyond me. Unheld sit-ups only to a certain extent.
I was never able to throw tennis/cricket balls (or the like) long distances. Accurate, but limited range.
I lacked courage with rollerskating and skateboarding. I'd go down a ramp or do some basic skating, but tricks on the move, dropping in and ice hockey were one step too far for me, never went past training wheels.
- Sep 18, 2007
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I won the NAGA Trophy at the Kununurra Open one year.
Marklar_33
Brownlow Medallist
Football: Kicked a goal in my first ever minute, thought this easy is this! Never touched the ball again, only about 4 matches or so
Basketball: played maybe 3 seasons worth. Had one 10 point game, but outside of that probably combined for another 30 points all up
Golf: 101 around 18 holes is my best effort. What really shits me is I'm better than that but I have 2-3 pathetic holes every round
Mixed Indoor Netball: was ok but an angry ****er. Bigger guys used to monster me physically, and I only liked playing cause I'm a precious little petal...did win 3 premierships at 3 different places in the space of 8 days though, so kinda got a little too into it for a while!
Better make myself feel better with little brags
Lawn Bowls: 2 premierships in 8 seasons
Softball: 3 flags in 4 years, and a league B&F
Cricket: 4 flags, and have played alongside Test players, even though my ability isn't fit to shine their shoes. Right place, right time!
Basketball: played maybe 3 seasons worth. Had one 10 point game, but outside of that probably combined for another 30 points all up
Golf: 101 around 18 holes is my best effort. What really shits me is I'm better than that but I have 2-3 pathetic holes every round
Mixed Indoor Netball: was ok but an angry ****er. Bigger guys used to monster me physically, and I only liked playing cause I'm a precious little petal...did win 3 premierships at 3 different places in the space of 8 days though, so kinda got a little too into it for a while!
Better make myself feel better with little brags
Lawn Bowls: 2 premierships in 8 seasons
Softball: 3 flags in 4 years, and a league B&F
Cricket: 4 flags, and have played alongside Test players, even though my ability isn't fit to shine their shoes. Right place, right time!
Shell
Premium Platinum
I would love to play tennis competitively.
Unfortunately I can't serve for shit. (It's actually really embarrassing- when I play socially I try and avoid it). Actual ground strokes are okay tho. Running is another thing- I doubt I could last a whole match, even best of 3. Even with the "stop/start" nature of it, I'd just run out of puff. I remember having a hit in 30 degree heat and feeling like I was going to pass out just from that. How actual players play in 35++ heat, I just cannot fathom..
Other sports like: netball, swimming, little aths/sprinting I was okay at.
Unfortunately I can't serve for shit. (It's actually really embarrassing- when I play socially I try and avoid it). Actual ground strokes are okay tho. Running is another thing- I doubt I could last a whole match, even best of 3. Even with the "stop/start" nature of it, I'd just run out of puff. I remember having a hit in 30 degree heat and feeling like I was going to pass out just from that. How actual players play in 35++ heat, I just cannot fathom..
Other sports like: netball, swimming, little aths/sprinting I was okay at.
Could of played in the AFL, but a lack of fitness, co-ordination, skill, and courage got in the way, well that and politics...
- Apr 27, 2008
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Good at athletics, not so much sports.
Footy, I was a utility before it was a compliment, in the late teens I strung some good years together as CHF/CHB swingman, but always after what I felt was a good game, I would inexplicably end up playing wing the next week, or moved to ruck (seriously, **** rucking). Even found my way to the pockets. Not a single position I didn't play, including bench. Currently boundary umpiring, but confident I'd be able to hold down a steady gig playing reserves if I ever put the boots on again. I was a training hero, great skills, hardness, and fitness on the track, but didn't get it together often enough on gameday.
Cricket... I played fielder. I managed 2 wickets in an over and scored 12 runs for man of the match at school cricket level - definitely the highlight. Club cricket I was out of my depth.
Basketball. I didn't mind it. Never played beyond 12 though so can't judge fairly.
Soccer. Was ok in goals. Wasn't bad at intercepting the occasional pass in defense and aimlessly booting it upfield for a goal kick. I'm led to believe that isn't actually good play however. Loved indoor soccer.
Combat sports (namely, MMA). Can hold my own at a lower level. Slugger. Lack knockout power, useless below my hips as my legs aren't at all flexible, but solid defensively on my feet and on the ground with an unorthodox offense. Can execute a kimura versus a beginner. A former BJJ instructor was a student of John Donehue, who has worked with multiple AFL clubs.
Athletics - good runner, sprints and distance, good jumper, good at javelin. Schizen at anything involving strength. Embarrassingly bad.
Hand Tennis - ****ing legendary. Won the school tournament in year 6.
Bocce - Was alright. Until my team were defeated in the final by a team involving a mentally handicapped player. That was quite an experience. Very inclusive, even playing field sport though, on the bright side.
Footy, I was a utility before it was a compliment, in the late teens I strung some good years together as CHF/CHB swingman, but always after what I felt was a good game, I would inexplicably end up playing wing the next week, or moved to ruck (seriously, **** rucking). Even found my way to the pockets. Not a single position I didn't play, including bench. Currently boundary umpiring, but confident I'd be able to hold down a steady gig playing reserves if I ever put the boots on again. I was a training hero, great skills, hardness, and fitness on the track, but didn't get it together often enough on gameday.
Cricket... I played fielder. I managed 2 wickets in an over and scored 12 runs for man of the match at school cricket level - definitely the highlight. Club cricket I was out of my depth.
Basketball. I didn't mind it. Never played beyond 12 though so can't judge fairly.
Soccer. Was ok in goals. Wasn't bad at intercepting the occasional pass in defense and aimlessly booting it upfield for a goal kick. I'm led to believe that isn't actually good play however. Loved indoor soccer.
Combat sports (namely, MMA). Can hold my own at a lower level. Slugger. Lack knockout power, useless below my hips as my legs aren't at all flexible, but solid defensively on my feet and on the ground with an unorthodox offense. Can execute a kimura versus a beginner. A former BJJ instructor was a student of John Donehue, who has worked with multiple AFL clubs.
Athletics - good runner, sprints and distance, good jumper, good at javelin. Schizen at anything involving strength. Embarrassingly bad.
Hand Tennis - ****ing legendary. Won the school tournament in year 6.
Bocce - Was alright. Until my team were defeated in the final by a team involving a mentally handicapped player. That was quite an experience. Very inclusive, even playing field sport though, on the bright side.
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- Apr 27, 2008
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Serving is the worst! I can do the other shit ok, but serving... no. Unless you stretch the court by about 300x what it is.
I won the Coaches Award for footy in Under 13's. Im not exactly sure to be honest. I'm not even really sure what the coaches award is for either, any coaches out there to help me out?
Shell
Premium Platinum
Am glad I'm not the only one! It feels totally unnatural af to me. Serving underarm is difficult as well.
In table tennis my serve is my strength.
- Apr 27, 2008
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Spirit and commitment at the contest, in lieu of skills, running ability, and football smarts I think.
- Apr 27, 2008
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Am glad I'm not the only one! It feels totally unnatural af to me. Serving underarm is difficult as well.
In table tennis my serve is my strength.
Thing is, when else in tennis will you have to judge a ball gently falling toward you and belt it over the net to a designated square? It's completely unnatural to the rest of the game as well.
I was pretty decent at most sports unfortunately I was no taller than Lewis Taylor and was built like a rake. However I distinctly remember our coach (for rugby) booking a pool for a preseason training once and boy that didn't end well. We were meant to start off with some warm up laps, I tried my hardest to keep up with everyone else but no less than two laps I was out the back chucking up my guts.
- Apr 16, 2008
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Could run and jump in footy but thats about it. Very average kick (played around the world the other day, scored 3 goals from 14 shots), my hand hurt when I handballed, did not like physical contact. I was 40-45kg up until 13 or 14, but even now at 75kg I still fear injury at the possibility of a moderate contact.
Refuse to header the the ball from goal kicks. Felt a bit more comfortable playing soccer with all the short skinny blokes though.
Always placed in 100m sprints up until about 15, middle of the pack in the 200m, last in anything 400m or over.
Basketball... cant shoot for shit. Played about 5 2v2 games, best to 7, scored about 4/30 shots.
Do alright at tennis, played a consistent base liner and someone who kills every basic mistake which was a bit of a reality check.
Refuse to header the the ball from goal kicks. Felt a bit more comfortable playing soccer with all the short skinny blokes though.
Always placed in 100m sprints up until about 15, middle of the pack in the 200m, last in anything 400m or over.
Basketball... cant shoot for shit. Played about 5 2v2 games, best to 7, scored about 4/30 shots.
Do alright at tennis, played a consistent base liner and someone who kills every basic mistake which was a bit of a reality check.
You could always play in a bottom division. Full of unorthodox people/inconsistent players who might have one good shot. I don't consider myself very fit and 3 sets is a piece of cake with all the short breaks you get. Going for runs every day (as much as you can go) for 2-3 and you'll be set. In summer you play less sets so its even easier.
Serving isn't hard, plenty of youtube coaches out there. Power does not come from how hard you swing, it comes from your legs, back foot and pronation of the racket.
