Roast 2014 Comical commentary thread

[Carcass]

Ok maybe this is just for Hawk games but ...........

A couple of years ago I was with some people watching the collingwobble youth, over a period of time. All of us walked away with a grin because 95% of them could not kick a footy to save their lives, now a lot of them are in the senior side..............



......Damn I’m still laughing.........


Apparently the reason for such horrendous kicking, from both sides, last night was there was no ‘wind’ in the ground, so said the commentators, so it must be true.


Love Clarkson or hate him, his mantra of “you must be able to kick a footy” is oh so true.

 

[ScifiHawk]

Bruce: "Hawthorn always win...so they're hard to beat."

A kid could do better commentary!

 

[Argy]

Bruce was almost unbearable on Friday night. How many times did he say "Next goal is soooo important"? With 90 seconds to go he says "Next goal win win it, I think. Unless there isn't one."

 

[ScifiHawk]

I see Mark Stevens is doing everything he can to get Lewis up on a charge of staging. Apparently, that was one of the three big things he took away from the match. What an absolute low-life flog, following in the footsteps of 'Hutchie' and Barrett trying their darndest to make the headlines rather than just report them. Wish I could line them all up in front of a firing squad...

If Lewis gets done at all for this - BJ DID make contact - then that Carlton player on Thursday should receive a much harsher penalty. He gets tapped in the arm or chest and comes down holding his face!!

My opinion is that Lewis should have got a free for that - BJ interfered with the man on the mark.

 

[ScifiHawk]

Bruce was almost unbearable on Friday night. How many times did he say "Next goal is soooo important"? With 90 seconds to go he says "Next goal win win it, I think. Unless there isn't one."

"You feel Hawthorn needs a goal here..."

All teams need goals at all times of the game, even if they're a hundred points up. The most stupid comment in history.

 

[badgrill]

VFL commentary on ABC. this afternoon:

Commentator A: "Good crowd at Etihad last night"

Commentator B: "if you like Essendon supporters"

 

[badgrill]

The AFL has attacked Channel 7 over its coverage and is set to sell rights for the next 10 years for at least $1 billion.

Now there are reports that TESLTRA is sniffing around after the rights. My god - Telstra? At least Seven has experience in how to manage broadcasting. Telstra cannot even get it right with telephones so why on Earth do they think they can handle the footy?

Mighty Mouse last night, too.

 

[badgrill]

http://www.allbum.it/scripts/sb_popup.php?adtype=160x600&popurl=images/spandau-ballet-gold-remix.jpg

 

[badgrill]

Z

 

[ScifiHawk]

http://www.allbum.it/scripts/sb_popup.php?adtype=160x600&popurl=images/spandau-ballet-gold-remix.jpg

Hmmm...I come on Bigfooty to get away from that!

 

[Links_234]

I was just listening to the Sunday Inquistion on ABC. When the commentators were asked their highs and lows of the round, one of them said their low was thinking Chapman had won it for Essendon only for the Hawks to get up. Gerard Whately then played the radio commentary of the Chapman goal. It was hilarious hearing the caller blow his load and calling Chapman 'Hawthorn's kryptonite'. Perhaps they should have played the reaction when Cyril won the game.

 

[Threadkilla]

Not so much commentary, but I did a double-take this morning when, whilst channel surfing and accidentally landing on Game Day, "Heater" Shaw was asked if he'd spoken to Buckley since his move up north. Shaw's response was along the lines of "not once" and Rompingwins chimed in with "it's kinda like an ex-girlfriend - you've just gotta punch on"......

Ummmmmm...

And here we were thinking they were referring to a dog when we'd heard Hame had "run over Cotchin's Bitch"!!

 

[Fulgent]

If Lewis gets done at all for this - BJ DID make contact - then that Carlton player on Thursday should receive a much harsher penalty. He gets tapped in the arm or chest and comes down holding his face!!

My opinion is that Lewis should have got a free for that - BJ interfered with the man on the mark.

Prohibited contact?

Sorry, I'm still annoyed over that stupid 50 in the prelim that was paid against him for nudging Selwood when Selwood all but invited contact.

 

[Hodge is God]

This might not be related to Hawthorn but the commentator, in response to North Melbourne missing a goal, said "they may rue that miss."

So rehearsed, so cringeworthy.

 

[Noneedforaname]

This might not be related to Hawthorn but the commentator, in response to North Melbourne missing a goal, said "they may rue that miss."

So rehearsed, so cringeworthy.

Is something I would expect Der wayne to say. More than once a game & several times a year. Douche.

 

[Mitchell Madness]

Not really comical, but, it did make me laugh that next to nothing has been made of Friday nights win. More news has been made over Geelong winning today then we've had...

 

[kimbopen]

Is something I would expect Der wayne to say. More than once a game & several times a year. Douche.

I gather you're referring to the flog that I call Dwayne Pipe - works on FOX Footy?

 

[Gold Member]

Comical commentary in this thread so far has been quite poor, infact it has barely raised a chortle....

How this one has not been mentioned yet is just beyond me.....
http://www.afl.com.au/video/2014-03-28/ess-v-haw-watch-the-last-two-minutes

Bruce McAvaney to Tom Harley:
"4 Premierships between those 2 coaches, eh?" (Clarkson and Thompson)
"toe to toe a few times haven't they?"
"In that famous Grand Final, eh?"
"In '08...."

Harley:
"............................."


So right after Cyril sinks the Bombres, Bruce takes an opportune shot of the 2 coaches and uses it to troll the living shit of of Harley!!!!
LEGEND



So we'll quietly jot this one down as the clubhouse leader so far, right guys?

Echols , Leather Poisoning, a link in the OP would be nice thanks!


PS. EAD Bombres

 

[moginie]

From the finals last year Gerard Healy is 1-4 with the Hawks

Keep up the good work Gerard!

Can we continue the Gerard Healy v Hawthorn score?

That is funny on its own.

 

[MoscowHawk]

Not exactly commentry, but how about Bomber Thompson calling the Hawks "f****** c***s" when we kicked those two late goals. Surprised the coverage cuts to the coaches at those moments.

 

[Adelaide Hawk]

If I had a dollar every time I heard "gee the next goal is important, isn't it?" I'd be a rich man. Bruce was asking that in the second quarter!

Yes, it's a rather silly comment. The next goal is always important. I doubt sides kick a goal and then think "Well, it doesn't matter who gets the next one".

 

[Adelaide Hawk]

Bruce: "Hawthorn always win...so they're hard to beat."

A kid could do better commentary!

If we ALWAYS win, then we would be impossible to beat.

 

[Hawkinspired]

Not exactly commentry, but how about Bomber Thompson calling the Hawks "f****** c***s" when we kicked those two late goals. Surprised the coverage cuts to the coaches at those moments.

I thought he said f'n Rioli, but either way it was great viewing. I hope they reply it on 360 tonight.

 

[scout]

Too corny. Ch9 did that thing were they make a pun about some training footage.


Tonight, they used footage of these school kids out at Waverley today.

The commentary, "Hawthorn's next generation of players will need to step up this week."

 

[Strapping Young Lad]

1 minute left in the game. 3 pts the margin.

"Next goal wins, don't you think?"