Banter 2021 Off-Topic Chat Thread

[Spazz Cat]

Have you tried kicking them in the groin.

Once I used to have a bit of fun with them, act really interested but then say I was only interested in getting in on the other side of it.
Like more illegal brothels, more starvation etc.
But not for ages. Now I just can't be f**ked at all.

 

[Shell]

I love that sh*t too.

I was staying with a mate in England- and spotted a bottle of bitters in their cupboard. They had NFI what a lemon, lime and bitters was. We taught them well tho.

/never actually order it at a pub tho over there, its just mass confusion from both sides.

 

[Shell]

Once I used to have a bit of fun with them, act really interested but then say I was only interested in getting in on the other side of it.
Like more illegal brothels, more starvation etc.
But not for ages. Now I just can't be f**ked at all.

What the hell did they say to that? Or were they aware you were taking the piss.

 

[Shell]

LOL Eddie just got one wrong as a lifeline

 

[Shell]

Der I knew Matlock wasnt Aussie due to Grandpa Simpson and his love of Maaaaaaatlooooooooock

 

[Spazz Cat]

What the hell did they say to that? Or were they aware you were taking the piss.

No often they didn't. Cause they used to mostly be backpackers that couldn't speak English all that well.
First they'd be confused then be no, no, no we can't do that etc

 

[Spazz Cat]

Weird thing is I'm not really a rude campaigner or anything. Don't even mind when the Jehovahs knock on the door. They are actually quite nice and go.
I just hate being hassled.

 

[Kram]

I was staying with a mate in England- and spotted a bottle of bitters in their cupboard. They had NFI what a lemon, lime and bitters was. We taught them well tho.

/never actually order it at a pub tho over there, its just mass confusion from both sides.

I think one of my friends said they asked for lemon, lime and bitter over in the US and it too them like 20 minutes to find something and bring it back, can't remember what it was that they came up with.

 

[Shell]

I think one of my friends said they asked for lemon, lime and bitter over in the US and it too them like 20 minutes to find something and bring it back, can't remember what it was.

In England I believe they believe "bitters" means beer. So i was in effect requesting a lemon lime and beer.

 

[Shell]

It was just a comedy of a conversation really..

 

[cats_09]

I think one of my friends said they asked for lemon, lime and bitter over in the US and it too them like 20 minutes to find something and bring it back, can't remember what it was.

I've learnt when in the USA and wanting an alcoholic drink to order by the brands name - that's like no shit with beer, but if I'm ordering a whiskey & ginger then I need to actually offer "Jack/Jack Daniels & ginger"

I had one time where I ordered a 'whiskey & ginger' (could see the bottle of JD) and I was met with the following response:
"By whiskey do you mean bourbon? And by bourbon do you mean Jim Beam"

I said yes as it was the easiest option, but laughed because the bottle of JD was right beside the Jim Beam bottle

 

[cats_09]

 

[Catsnlakers]

That’s funny as!

 

[winty]

Weird thing is I'm not really a rude campaigner or anything. Don't even mind when the Jehovahs knock on the door. They are actually quite nice and go.
I just hate being hassled.

I used to work as a door to door salesman ages ago (was only there for about 7 months and actually ended up losing money instead of earning any as it was all commission based and we had to work away from home and pay our own accommodation, but that's another story), and one day we were in the same area as some Jehovah's Witnesses and also another lot of door-to-door salesmen. People were getting pissed off that all these different people kept knocking on their door trying to sell them stuff.

 

[Shell]

^^just laughing at the last bit there, about the pissed off ppl- not that you didnt make any money

 

[Kram]

That's where you need like a couple of German Shepherds.

"Release the hounds!!!"

 

[Spazz Cat]

That moon thing isn't that good. Thought would be better than that.

 

[Spazz Cat]

I used to work as a door to door salesman ages ago (was only there for about 7 months and actually ended up losing money instead of earning any as it was all commission based and we had to work away from home and pay our own accommodation, but that's another story), and one day we were in the same area as some Jehovah's Witnesses and also another lot of door-to-door salesmen. People were getting pissed off that all these different people kept knocking on their door trying to sell them stuff.

Wasn't selling vacuum cleaners was it?

 

[Cats_R_Cool_4_Ever]

No party this weekend now. My life is such a bore thanks to CV.

 

[patience]

That moon thing isn't that good. Thought would be better than that.

It's not red.

 

[winty]

Wasn't selling vacuum cleaners was it?

Who told you?

 

[Spazz Cat]

It's not red.

Or big either

 

[Shell]

That's what she said

 

[Spazz Cat]

Who told you?

Had a girlfriend who worked for Kirby doing it. Was so dodgy, purely commission.
Not many people were buying 4000 dollar vacuum cleaners either.

 

[Spazz Cat]

That's what she said

Should of seen that coming