Society/Culture Child Support

[toxic]

Let me preface this rant with i adore and love my daughter more than life.

However a child support system that openly encourages single mums to stay at home and leach off society and an ex-husband is completely fkd.
If i earn more my child support goes up and her requirement to re-enter the workforce and contribute something to Society diminishes.
It's a blight on society that this type of system can exist.

Rant over

 

[Moo]

It's a real double edged sword.

Absolutely the kid has to be front and centre of this debate.

Having said that - I know 2 guys who are being so absolutely screwed over that it is unbelievable*, with the child being used as an absolute weapon.

*Acknowledging I'm only getting their side.

I have a female relative who is on the other side of the debate, and she gets pretty much zippo and won't make ******* cough up.

Not sure what a better system is though?

 

[little graham]

Well if we had listen to religion about the family unit and what happens when it breaks down, we would not be here. And yes, passing criticism after the horse has bolted does not fix anything.Conversely though, we still continue with all the same shit that got us here.

Something really wrong if couples have to work two jobs to survive and science points this has a detrimental effect on the kids upbringing.

 

[toxic]

It's a real double edged sword.

Absolutely the kid has to be front and centre of this debate.

Having said that - I know 2 guys who are being so absolutely screwed over that it is unbelievable*, with the child being used as an absolute weapon.

*Acknowledging I'm only getting their side.

I have a female relative who is on the other side of the debate, and she gets pretty much zippo and won't make ******* cough up.

Not sure what a better system is though?

Kids should never be used, that's the lowest anyone, male or female can go

 

[Gypsy King]

Let me preface this rant with i adore and love my daughter more than life.

However a child support system that openly encourages single mums to stay at home and leach off society and an ex-husband is completely fkd.
If i earn more my child support goes up and her requirement to re-enter the workforce and contribute something to Society diminishes.
It's a blight on society that this type of system can exist.

Rant over

And if you see her more your child support goes down, and the Mother gets paid less, hence the incentive for Mothers to keep their kids away from the Father. $$$$$. All under a system that supposedly puts the child first. Good rant, I think the whole family law system is a joke, and I hope Pauline Hanson keeps pushing the narrative of over hauling the whole thing. The politicians - Howard aside - have been weak on the issue, so its a vote getter, because the majority of Aussies know its a rort. The system is structurally unjust, unfair, and is bias towards the Mother.

 

[fleabitten]

I've had a completely different experience with child support. Single dad with two kids and their mother has only recently had to pay anything at all. For years, she claimed to be unemployed (she wasn't) and didn't have to pay anything. I was just happy that she wasn't contesting custody, so never really pressed the issue with anyone. Now the kids are both in their teens and she pays about $150 per kid per month which is obviously a long way short of half of their actual expenses. I'm not sure what she's told the government about her work situation, but she's working full time.

 

[toxic]

I've had a completely different experience with child support. Single dad with two kids and their mother has only recently had to pay anything at all. For years, she claimed to be unemployed (she wasn't) and didn't have to pay anything. I was just happy that she wasn't contesting custody, so never really pressed the issue with anyone. Now the kids are both in their teens and she pays about $150 per kid per month which is obviously a long way short of half of their actual expenses. I'm not sure what she's told the government about her work situation, but she's working full time.

Govt is guided by tax returns, fulltime, casual, part-time its completely irrelevant .
Amounts determined on earnings, time in custody of each parent and other dependants.
Primarily these are the guides for child support determination

 

[fleabitten]

Govt is guided by tax returns, fulltime, casual, part-time its completely irrelevant .
Amounts determined on earnings, time in custody of each parent and other dependants.
Primarily these are the guides for child support determination

Yeah I have 83% custody (they stay there some weekends and parts of holidays). I don't know her earnings but I do know that part of it is off the books. I assume that's how she gets away with paying so little (or previously nothing).

 

[rdhopkins2]

My gf was a single Mum before she met me.

The Dad is a campaigner and didn't want to have another kid (has 2 from another relationship) so as soon as she told him she was pregnant he tried to force her to have an abortion. At one point girlfriend had to get police involvement after a (minor) assault.

He pays almost nothing in child support and the daughter likes and respects me more than her Dad (she knows I'm not her real Dad). In fact when gf tells her she's seeing her Dad on the odd occasion, she doesn't want to see him (I'm more fun apparently and nicer).

Been nearly 18mths together and not looking back. I love spending time with them both. Her young daughter is great (most of the time) and we hope to give her a brother or sister in the near future.

The Daughter deserves to know her biological Dad but gee he does everything to make us not want to let him see her.

Yes some women abuse the system but there are truly some campaigner blokes out there who use it just as bad.$35 a week child support. Lol. Guy earns more than me too.

Lesson to BF's or Step Dad's out there. Put the child first and be the better man.

 

[cartwright]

And if you see her more your child support goes down, and the Mother gets paid less, hence the incentive for Mothers to keep their kids away from the Father. $$$$$. All under a system that supposedly puts the child first. Good rant, I think the whole family law system is a joke, and I hope Pauline Hanson keeps pushing the narrative of over hauling the whole thing. The politicians - Howard aside - have been weak on the issue, so its a vote getter, because the majority of Aussies know its a rort. The system is structurally unjust, unfair, and is bias towards the Mother.

Interesting point.
I think the intention there is to put the child first, but obviously it's open to abuse.

There needs to be some incentive for fathers to pay as well.

 

[Present Not Past]

It's pretty simple. If you're not prepared to pay for the upkeep of a wife and child - don't get a woman pregnant.

 

[toxic]

It's pretty simple. If you're not prepared to pay for the upkeep of a wife and child - don't get a woman pregnant.

Love your narrow minded completely ridiculous opinion.
Well thats my narrow opinion of your opinion.

Obviously Never heard of changing circumstances

 

[Present Not Past]

Love your narrow minded completely ridiculous opinion.
Well thats my narrow opinion of your opinion.

Obviously Never heard of changing circumstances

Never heard of a child called a changing circumstance.
Once you bring them into the world you are responsible for them, until they are at least 18.
If you can't handle that, then don't do it.

 

[toxic]

Never heard of a child called a changing circumstance.
Once you bring them into the world you are responsible for them, until they are at least 18.
If you can't handle that, then don't do it.

You specified WIFE and child, not just child and if you actually read each post you'd see no-one was against a fair and equitable arrangement for the child

 

[Present Not Past]

You specified WIFE and child, not just child and if you actually read each post you'd see no-one was against a fair and equitable arrangement for the child

Well how are you going to create a child without a wife? Grow one in a box?
And if you're the ex-parent, who's going to raise the child? Obviously the other parent. Kids don't raise themselves.

 

[toxic]

Well how are you going to create a child without a wife? Grow one in a box?
And if you're the ex-parent, who's going to raise the child? Obviously the other parent. Kids don't raise themselves.

You truly have a view that I'll never understand .

You've completely missed the discussion context of the thread

 

[yebbo]

It's pretty simple. If you're not prepared to pay for the upkeep of a wife and child - don't get a woman pregnant.

This post is so wrong and insensitive for so many many reasons.

For starters I got the impression the thread was started to show that toxic is happy to support and be involved with his daughter where he has to work against a system that encourages the mother to abuse it to the detriment of the child and the father.

What does "don't get a woman pregnant" have to do with that?

If you have a look around the internet there are some shocking stories of dads who are denied access to their children and it drives some men to do some truly horrible desperate things. I know quite a few guys who have been denied access to their beloved children and it drives them to a helpless madness....they just dont know what to do and the most common cause is a mother who has what she wants, wants a change of life/new partner and bleeds the father for all she is worth whilst trying to hurt them.

How many relationships do you think start out great and then as soon as children come into the picture the woman uses this new found power to use the kids as pawns against the dad. The internet is full of these shocking stories if you have a look around where the payment of child support is the least of a dads worry...all they want to do is see there kid.

I think you will find many dads are happy to support there kids but circumstances can change so quickly in a relationship.

 

[cartwright]

^ it seems like it's convenient to completely forget about dead beat dads who pay zero attention to their kids, become bitter and twisted against the mother and do everything possible to get out of paying support.

 

[toxic]

^ it seems like it's convenient to completely forget about dead beat dads who pay zero attention to their kids, become bitter and twisted against the mother and do everything possible to get out of paying support.

Who mentioned forgetting about them?

 

[Scotland]

Has there ever been a case where a mother that wasn't a complete trainwreck was denied access to her children and forced to subsidise a father's lifestyle?

 

[Present Not Past]

This post is so wrong and insensitive for so many many reasons.

For starters I got the impression the thread was started to show that toxic is happy to support and be involved with his daughter where he has to work against a system that encourages the mother to abuse it to the detriment of the child and the father.

What does "don't get a woman pregnant" have to do with that?

If you have a look around the internet there are some shocking stories of dads who are denied access to their children and it drives some men to do some truly horrible desperate things. I know quite a few guys who have been denied access to their beloved children and it drives them to a helpless madness....they just dont know what to do and the most common cause is a mother who has what she wants, wants a change of life/new partner and bleeds the father for all she is worth whilst trying to hurt them.

How many relationships do you think start out great and then as soon as children come into the picture the woman uses this new found power to use the kids as pawns against the dad. The internet is full of these shocking stories if you have a look around where the payment of child support is the least of a dads worry...all they want to do is see there kid.

I think you will find many dads are happy to support there kids but circumstances can change so quickly in a relationship.

His rant was about having to pay money to his ex and he not liking that because this allowed her to stay at home and raise his child.
Not the drivel you just posted above.

 

[toxic]

His rant was about having to pay money to his ex and he not liking that because this allowed her to stay at home and raise his child.
Not the drivel you just posted above.

Perhaps you re-read it.
And then read it again.

Your posts are becoming embarrasing

 

[Freo Big Fella]

I think it's an unfortunate aspect of the system that the regulations have to be drawn up with the 5-10% of scumbag dads in mind.

Not sure how you change it to make it fairer to blokes who are doing the right thing.

 

[Watchyourwaite]

Thats my reaction to anyone, male or female, when they tell me there anecdotes about these situations.

Have you noticed the story teller is always a bastion of good, fighting an insidious monster?
I never hear these people talk about there kids, apart from when they are using them to tell us how altruistic they are.
No one is perfect, and no one puts there kids first in every situation ever. You just cant.
Knowing that you love your kids and youll die for them is one thing. But if your trying to tell me that every moment of your life is about and for your kids, your lying.

At the end of the day, if your life was truly all about your kids. Youd still be married.

 

[Lord of the Pies]

How old is your child? Pretty sure once the child reaches school age centrelink payments are diminished, sort of forcing single mums back to work, in some extent. If your child is younger than school age I don't think your ex should have to work.