Coping with the other species

[dumb]

my approach, which was how i learnt to engage in conversations to some degree... take the angle that everyone can teach you something. take something even the most annoying people talk about, and ask them something you are curious about which relates to what they are talking about. it might sound kind of obvious but i had to force myself to do this.

 

[bunsen burner]

my approach, which was how i learnt to engage in conversations to some degree... take the angle that everyone can teach you something. take something even the most annoying people talk about, and ask them something you are curious about which relates to what they are talking about. it might sound kind of obvious but i had to force myself to do this.

Much easier to go "you kents are a bunch of knobs" and then go home and play world of warcraft whilst listening to death metal.

 

[Roobs321]

Have the same approach, act like you can learn anything from anyone, even if they seem full ******. Also, if it's the type of dude that likes to do all the talking and goes off on boring monologues, you need to go in with a plan for the conversation and steer it away from dullness.

 

[Magpira]

Much easier to go "you kents are a bunch of knobs" and then go home and play world of warcraft whilst listening to death metal.

Are you a christian?

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Arms crossed, hands in pockets,

That sounds like quite a neat trick, actually.

 

[Silent Alarm]

Ugh, everyone throws around "socially awkward" like it's some cool, Michael Cera thing. Every single person experiences awkward moments and weird social encounters... What's wrong with not getting on with people? If you question society enough, you'll probably dislike a few people. It's no issue. As long as you have like, a couple of friends...

 

[Hand]

I get anxious in situations where I don't know the people around me. I'm such an awkward person in a new situation such as chatting to a random girl, or family friends that I haven't seen since I was 3.

In saying that, I prefer my own company to time with mates. I go out quite alot, but it's really just to have a drink/get my mind off studying, not for the socialising part. I get called anti-social on a regular basis, and rightly so I guess.

 

[getthefooty]

Sounds like you're socially awkward.

I'll bet you're one of those nerdy pushover types.

Arms crossed, hands in pockets, looking down or away when people make eye contact. If this is you then you really need to start pushing out of your comfort zone.

'Hey mate...I've been very cool all my life, very outgoing, wear all the right clothes, **** all the bitches, that kind of thing. Never have a problem talking to anyone... just a very sociable guy.
Now, I've seen your type before, in fact I have the odd joke at your expense. Because I don't really understand how someone could be like that, could you just fundamentally change the way you socially interact at the click of my fingers? It's really not that hard, I'm like that, it's pretty easy. Cheers.'

 

[bunsen burner]

Are you a christian?

What?

 

[Wallaby]

I'm socially awkward - which means I don't like contrived, formulaic social situations where everyone acts in the acceptable manner. If you don't like the social situation, don't go. The fact that those people think you might be a bit 'socially awkward' - so what? You don't want to spend time with them anyway. If stuck, I agree with the 'Learn something from everyone' - my technique is, if I have to start the conversation, my opening line is not 'What do you do for a living?', but 'What do you do for fun?'. People are far more open, engaging and interesting when they talking about something they are interested in.

But, yeah, spend time with your mates, spend time with people who have the same base interests as you, spend time doing the things you want to do. If that means going solo, that's fine. You will naturally come into new experiences without forcing them.

There is no such thing as 'social obligation'.

 

[bunsen burner]

my technique is, if I have to start the conversation, my opening line is not 'What do you do for a living?', but 'What do you do for fun?'.

Maybe that's what the Op is doing wrong?

What do you do for a living?
I work in the marketing department
No you f***ing don't, you work in the colouring in department. You don't really work at all. You swan around like a ****wit thinking you actually do something the rest of us can't do in our sleep.

 

[benneth]

What?

Here we go...

 

[benneth]

Someone already said it, but if you need some practical advice, mine would be to put yourself out of your comfort zone in social situations. That's how you will grow and learn, not by trying to will yourself into relaxing and being yourself, which is very difficult to do.
It's also just about time and becoming comfortable in your own skin.

PS. Don't sweat the small stuff

 

[Silent Alarm]

I just think you should conform to WWLDDO?

I mean, what would this guy do? He wouldn't fall for their bullshit, for starters.

 

[JockStewart]

haha my hero.

 

[Magpira]

What?

So that is a No?

 

[Bunk Moreland]

I’m sure you can find something common to discuss. If you can’t find a single damn thing, fair to say these people aren’t actually your friends, and I’m not sure why you’re hanging around with them.

 

[Waynesworld]

Everyone has overlooked the obvious question:

What do these people talk about? Are they all talking about World of Warcraft? Or are they all talking about inappropriate stuff like drugs, pr0n, and sand fellows whilst you're the one into World of Warcraft?

Nothing wrong with talking about pr0n at work...

I quite enjoy my Monday morning conversations with the chicks at work about the latest pr0n that I watched over the weekend. Tends to make a lovely conversation piece over coffee.

Some do baulk a bit at some of the themes occasionally...

 

[bunsen burner]

w

So that is a No?

what is it that you want? You obviously have an angle so cough it up.

 

[Magpira]

wwhat is it that you want? You obviously have an angle so cough it up.

LOL @ what is it you want like I'm some pesky child.

Just was curious if you were a christian because I got that idea from some of your judgemental posts in this thread is all. No drama.

 

[LosBeatles]

Can i ask a question? Why are younger people terrified of doing their own thing?

I was with my cousin a few weeks ago, she is in her early 20s and she begged me to come with her to the shops just to buy some ciggs. She didnt want to appear alone out in public.

And no it's had nothing to do with a stalker or someone harrasing her or her living in a bad suburb.

I´ll go with her next time

 

[bunsen burner]

LOL @ what is it you want like I'm some pesky child.

Just was curious if you were a christian because I got that idea from some of your judgemental posts in this thread is all. No drama.

I thought so. You're either a) into world of warcraft, b) into metal, c) into both, and you're offended I have picked on these two things as characteristics of social retrads.

Harden up snookems, it's just an off the cuff joke. And no, I'm not the slightest bit religious.

 

[neroblack]

A good one to try is when you're sitting at your desk and you hear one of those conversations is to continue working, but have a bit of a laugh and glance in their direction. A shake of the head helps too. It works well for transferring the awkwardness to them

If it's not at work, just ask them what the hell they're talking about.

 

[WeetBixKid]

You'll find that a lot of people in an office environment bond over complaining about shit. That's been my experience. I don't tend to complain, so it can be hard sometimes. Normally there's at least one person that likes talking about abstract stuff though.

 

[Magpira]

I thought so. You're either a) into world of warcraft, b) into metal, c) into both, and you're offended I have picked on these two things as characteristics of social retrads.

Harden up snookems, it's just an off the cuff joke. And no, I'm not the slightest bit religious.

Haha.. No neither, I am a grown woman

I wasn't at all offended by what you said, it just made me a little curious, I laughed at the wow and metal generalization actually... it was the taboo of drugs and pr0n that got me thinking along the christian lines.