Dad jokes - add yours

[Marstermind]

My Thai girlfriend says a small penis shouldn't be a problem in a loving relationship. I still wish she didn't have one.

It's not that I don't find this funny, but I don't think this falls under the category of "Dad Joke."

 

[gokangas]

It's not that I don't find this funny, but I don't think this falls under the category of "Dad Joke."

Maybe it is his 'dad'.

 

[Bertie22]

When I went to the zoo yesterday I saw that there was a baguette in an enclosure. I asked the zoo keeper who told me it was bread in captivity.

 

[big_e]

 

[Thndr]

What do you call an Irishman bouncing around off the walls ??????


Rick O'Shea ..........

 

[HongKongRoo]

The 2019 Collingwood midfield is the greatest midfield of all time.

 

[WayneShimmiesTheBush]

what is red and black and prickly all over?

* FC

 

[gokangas]

Shark is an interesting word. Apparently it is a combination of the first two words said when a white pointer was first sighted.

 

[gokangas]

Just met the bloke that invented the zero - I said 'thanks for nothing'.

 

[gokangas]

I reckon people that buy semi dried tomatoes are just impatient.

 

[zoomba23]

Went to a cafe today and ordered eggs. Waitress asked me, 'how do you like them?' I replied, 'Dunno, I haven't gotten them yet!'

 

[KiwiRoo]

what do you call a blonde with sausages for hair

Barbi

 

[Roscoe]

The doctor asked me if obesity runs in my family----told him that no one runs in my family.

 

[gokangas]

The doctor asked me if obesity runs in my family----told him that no one runs in my family.

Coincidently I have been on a new diet with Jenny Craig - so far I have lost $300.

 

[gokangas]

A friend of mine just got back from China. Went to the Beijing Zoo. Said how informative it was - out the front of every animal cage is a sign with the animals name in Chinese, the animals name in English and the recipe.

 

[Rooboys Rool]

Did you hear about the Dad who drowned in his muesli?

He got pulled under by a strong currant.

(My 7 year old daughter told me that one last night )

 

[gokangas]

Did you hear about the Dad who drowned in his muesli?

He got pulled under by a strong currant.

(My 7 year old daughter told me that one last night )

Did you hear about the dad who was bashed to death with a box of wheat bix. Police are looking for a cereal killer.

 

[gokangas]

I hear the local Police station was broken into last night and all their toilets were stolen. So far Police have nothing to go on.

 

[Hojuman]

Why did the cow cross the road ?

To go to the " moooovies "

 

[B4Bear]

What do you call Woolworths after it catches fire?

Coles.

 

[Bertie22]

ME to Friend: I’m having a really good day, except for newpussycat

Friend: What’s newpussycat?

Me: Whoaaa, whooaaaa, whoaaa ohhh.

(Apologies to Tom J)

 

[tazaa]

ME to Friend: I’m having a really good day, except for newpussycat

Friend: What’s newpussycat?

Me: Whoaaa, whooaaaa, whoaaa ohhh.

(Apologies to Tom J)

 

[JZTIME!]

i told a joke about a spine once, it was about a week back

 

[WayneShimmiesTheBush]

what do cats like to eat on a hot day?

micecream

 

[Luke72]

How do you know when a clown farts?

It smells funny.