Dad jokes - add yours

[Samsquanch]

Menzies?

Engadine NSW.

The unabridged tale of ScoMo shitting himself at Engadine Maccas in 1997

One of the most treasured Australian political rumours to date suggests that Scott Morrison shat his pants at Engadine Maccas in 1997.

happymag.tv

 

[Satan]

View attachment 1598038
Engadine NSW.

The unabridged tale of ScoMo shitting himself at Engadine Maccas in 1997

One of the most treasured Australian political rumours to date suggests that Scott Morrison shat his pants at Engadine Maccas in 1997.

happymag.tv

Lol

 

[Samsquanch]

 

[krakouers]

View attachment 1598038
Engadine NSW.

The unabridged tale of ScoMo shitting himself at Engadine Maccas in 1997

One of the most treasured Australian political rumours to date suggests that Scott Morrison shat his pants at Engadine Maccas in 1997.

happymag.tv

(Wipes away tear)
I love this country

 

[krakouers]

Anyone want to hear a Swedish joke?

Nevermind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it

 

[krakouers]

For the scholars among us:

A roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, “five beers, please”.

 

[fnarr fnarr]

I could try to transcribe it, but nobody can tell it like Billy

 

[Chewy Chewman]

Two nuts walk into a bar.

One was a salted

 

[gokangas]

Doctor: I’ve got very bad news – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s.
Patient: Well, at least I don’t have cancer.

 

[gokangas]

I’ve got a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. The doctor says its terminal.

 

[Rod Stroker]

Anyone want to hear a Swedish joke?

Nevermind. There’s Norway I could Finnish it

Are you Russian? Or do you have time?

 

[Rod Stroker]

There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.

5 out of every 4 people have trouble with fractions

 

[Rod Stroker]

 

[rickety]

5 out of every 4 people have trouble with fractions

Six out of seven dwarves are not happy

 

[big_e]

The Little E pulled this one on me tonight.

Her: Dad, we've been learning about the planets at school. Did know that Pluto is the quietest planet?

Me: No.

Her: And the loudest thing in the Solar System is Uranus.

 

[Orange Peanut]

If you're scared of giants do you have feefiphobia?

 

[chairo]

People said I would never get over my Phil Collins obsession.
Well take a look at me now.

 

[big_e]

People said I would never get over my Phil Collins obsession.
Well take a look at me now.

But seriously....

What was the Genesis of your obsession?

 

[Satan]

But seriously....

What was the Genesis of your obsession?

Being an easy lover

 

[Orange Peanut]

But seriously....

What was the Genesis of your obsession?

When he decided not to sue Sue Sudio?

 

[Satan]

When he decided not to sue Sue Sudio?

Something is in the air tonight

 

[big_e]

Being an easy lover

I'll have to take that on Face Value.

 

[kool kangas]

 

[kool kangas]

Not a dads joke but it is funny......

 

[Samsquanch]

Accordion to the latest research, 95% of people don't realise when you replace words with random musical instruments.