Do Gentlemen Exist?

[sussudio]

I was going to put this in the Social and Culture section, but thought I'd get more input here.

Do gentlemen still exist in Australia? I was on a packed train a while back. All the seats were taken. A lady on crutches got on and stood near the door, directly in front of a few chaps sitting down. Nobody offered their seats (I would have but was too far away). Eventually a schoolboy got up and offered his seat to the lady, but this was after a few stops had passed.

Is the concept irrelevant in this day and age, and particularly in an egalitarian Australia? Is it too politically correct, even sexist? For example, do women resent gentlemen opening doors for them? Everyday I see examples of people showing a distinct lack of consideration for others, from commuting on trains, driving, in restaurants, when using a mobile phone, etc.. Sometimes though, I do see some gentlemanly behaviour, but not often.

I believe that being a gentleman is NOT about a set of convoluted rules about manners, dress, etiquette, upbringing etc.. To me, it's about maintaining one's principles and making everyone around you feel as comfortable as possible. I think the term "gentleman" is used too liberally these days, and on guys who wouldn't have a clue what the term really means. This leads me to think that perhaps the concept is dead.

 

[jefffff34]

I reckon I would have got up and given her my seat.

I believe being a gentleman is showing your manners to everyone. Manners do not take much to give, and it should make you feel happy that you make other people happy.

I don't know if the above made any sense at all unfortunately.

 

[sussudio]

Originally posted by Hoggy
I don't know if the above made any sense at all unfortunately

It does make sense Hoggy. Manners is part of being a gentleman, not all but part. It's about integrity. Integrity will always give you a sense of satisfaction particularly, as you say, it really does not take much effort to show it.

 

[vanders]

i think they do, but they are few and far between.

 

[jefffff34]

Originally posted by sussudio


It does make sense Hoggy. Manners is part of being a gentleman, not all but part. It's about integrity. Integrity will always give you a sense of satisfaction particularly, as you say, it really does not take much effort to show it.

Does that make me a gentleman?

 

[sussudio]

Originally posted by Hoggy
Does that make me a gentleman?

maybe

it's not about appearances. the clothes DO NOT maketh the man. I've seen people who are seemingly dressed in a rather shabby manner display perfect gentlemanly behaviour. I have also seen people in suits act like complete pricks.

 

[jefffff34]

Originally posted by sussudio


maybe

it's not about appearances.

Good.

 

[McAlmanac]

Originally posted by Hoggy
I reckon I would have got up and given her my seat.

I believe being a gentleman is showing your manners to everyone. Manners do not take much to give, and it should make you feel happy that you make other people happy.

I don't know if the above made any sense at all unfortunately.

Made perfect sense. Got it in one.

 

[Bee]

Of course gentlemen exist today. I have had guys stand up and offer me their seat on public transport, hold doors open for me, stand back and allow me to get into a lift first and to board trams, buses etc, first. I have even had them apologise for swearing in front of me! I actually feel sorry for men at times, because in this day and age they don't know if their 'gentlemanly actions' are likely to get them a tirade of abuse from some radical feminist! So a lot of them probably decide not to do it.

Good manners should be down to everyone, not just men. I have seen a lot of women who have absolutely no manners at all. They are rude, impolite and just downright ignorant. And a lot of young people today don't know how to use the words 'thanks' or 'please'.
But to answer your original question. Yes, in my opionion gentleman do still exist.

 

[FootyBabe]

I believe they do exist but find its normally men in there late to early 30's.

 

[Rohan_]

Originally posted by Bee
Of course gentlemen exist today. I have had guys stand up and offer me their seat on public transport

I will always offer my seat if a lady needs to find a seat. Last time I did it, the lady commented that is very rare to see what I did in today's community.

 

[derns_hawk]

I think that being gentlemanly is all about having integrity. They are not afraid to use their good manners. Sadly I do think they are few and far between.

As a female, you can tell who is being gentlemanly by opening doors, giving up a seat, being courteous and who is doing these things in the hope of copping a perv, trying to get into your pants etc. In the case of the latter, if I can tell I will act disgusted or tell them off because it's NOT their natural manners taking precedence. Similarly, if someone is being their "natural" self and not offering a seat to anyone even if they are a disabled person etc, then they deserve to be told off even more!

You can tell a gentleman if they are polite no matter what the age or condition of the lady they are being polite to.

 

[sussudio]

I went to Grossi Florentino earlier this year for their Tudor Choristers night. The 75yo Florentino is one of Melbourne's "institutional" restaurants and, though far from stuffy, it is often frequented by Melbourne's so-called Establishment.

Anyway, the food was absolutely superb, the choristers were excellent and the ambience was very pleasant, however my night was marred by a boorish chap on our table. He was middle aged, quite well dressed and was obviously well educated and rich. Yet he was boisterous and loud mouthed, and continually dominated the conversation of the table with inane topics that nobody else had an interest in. And with more wine, his language became increasingly more ribald.

I thought that I would be the one who would be shown up for not having the "pedigree" to mix with this lot, and I was quite nervous about this in the beginning. Here I was, surrounded by old money, and I was only a lower middle class 27yo guy. Yet I thought I ended up being far more gentlemanly than this windbag! I stood up when the ladies left the table, I did not dominate the conversation or try to draw too much attention to myself. Just goes to show that appearances do not count and pedigree does not necessarily equate to being a gentleman.

I was dining in the Collingwood Social Club one day. It was packed and an elderly gent did not have a seat, so I unhesitatingly gave him mine. The look of gratitude on his face was most satisfying. I am glad to read that people here think that gentlemen still exist and also importantly, that gentlemenly conduct is appreciated. shows that there is still some civility left in this world!

 

[Mead]

I'm pretty much afraid its a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I was brought up to do all the nice, gentlemanly things, and then a while ago i copped the legendary feminist tirade for daring to offer a seat. From where I'm sitting now, females have two choices.. They can either be feminists, or they can expect 'gentlemanly' behaviour. You can't have both!!

Having said that, the way i'd get around it is by pointing out if someone got onto a train on crutches or what have you, i'd probably offer them my seat whether they were male or female.

 

[Cyclops]

As a feminist and a republican I have a problem with the tag "gentleman". I think the term "gentle" in this context means "well born" (from the Latin word gens meaning family). "Gentlemanly behaviour" is bound up with notions of masculine authority and superiority as well as notions of class distinction. Civility is a better term.

I try to show respect to all people equally without prejudice*. Decent behaviour is, as pointed out above, a function of your own self respect, and has nothing to do with social rank or gender. I only offer my seat to people if they're old, infirm or pregnant.

The idea of offering your seat to a healthy young woman is silly and could only be interpreted as a desperate sleazoid ploy. I'd only do it if I thought the young woman involved was dumb enough to be impressed by such empty and subtly demeaning acts....d'oh.




* Ok so I subject Carlton supporters to extreme prejudice, but they're the only ones.

 

[Pieman7]

I always give up my seat if someone is on crutches or old, other than that I usualy give my seat to Female friends as I know they won't take offence.

 

[BomberGal]

There are a few around that I know, who will always let me go through the door first, apologise for swearing or telling dirty jokes, will give me priority in a seat, etc etc. This I like, I mean yeah it's great but I think apologising for swearing is going just a little overboard, I mean I swear all the time?!

It just depends how a kid is brought up...not many of my guy friends have these manners, but there are a few around who do, and these are the guys I prefer to spend my time with.

 

[Docker_Brat]

I'll be a gentleman if she cooks my dinner and gets me a beer.

All seriousness aside, back to the seat question; if she was a fit youngish woman I wouldn't get up, I made the mistake of doing that once and got a dirty look and it was an uncomfortable situation with us both standing and an empty seat. Never again. If it were someone elderly or had trouble standing for what ever reason, yes I would.

 

[M29]

Originally posted by sussudio
Do gentlemen still exist in Australia? I was on a packed train a while back. All the seats were taken. A lady on crutches got on and stood near the door, directly in front of a few chaps sitting down.

All those bra burning femi-nazis wanted "equal rights" all those years back and they gotem'. So they have no right to whinge. I will act chivalrously if there is anything to gain. ie: If she is gourgeous and has big ****.

I have been told by some women (thats WOMYN for the femos in here) I work with that they don't like that open the door 1st crap etc anyway.

If they are old aged citizens or disabled somehow I will offer my seat.

But if it's just one women standing up, **** her, she can keep standing up. (Unless she wants to sit on my lap.) She sure as hell wouldn't offer me her seat.

 

[Squeak]

On the bus the other day, a lady with a pram got on, and due to the selfishness of a man sitting in the 3-seater at the middle of the bus opposite the door, she had to sit right up the back, having to pull the pram up 2 steps to get there. I don't know if that's what they do in China, but I gave him a piece of my mind. I would've got up for her. And hopefully most people would.

 

[Blue'n'Gold]

I can honestly tell you that Yes they do actually exhist..

The man in my life is most definitely what you would call a gentleman... and all our boys are "gentlemen in the making" owing to their father's influence

And while Gentleman isn't the term I would use for my daughter, she too is being raised to have the same morals and ethics and good manners... which is really what we are referring to here.. knowing what is right and wrong, and behaving in the appropiate manner, treating people with respect and kindness, and showing consideration for others.

 

[The Hitman]

Originally posted by Bee
I have had guys stand up and offer me their seat on public transport, hold doors open for me, stand back and allow me to get into a lift first and to board trams, buses etc, first.

They're just trying to check out your arse.

I'd offer my seat, and have done so in the past. I help women with prams off buses, etc. It's not hard to be a nice pearson, actually. I don't know if I'm a gentleman, because I can be a prick at times, but in general I'd consider myself a good natured person.

The Hitman

 

[topdon]

Originally posted by vanders
i think they do, but they are few and far between.

Love that avatar!! Shake that booty!!!

hmmm ...

... do i still qualify?

 

[Sly77]

Originally posted by Cyclops
I try to show respect to all people equally without prejudice*. Decent behaviour is, as pointed out above, a function of your own self respect, and has nothing to do with social rank or gender. I only offer my seat to people if they're old, infirm or pregnant.

In my mind, that is the key - it is about showing respect to your fellow man/woman.

I get annoyed when people are too lazy/ignorant to leave a door open for you if you are right behind them, or if they let the life door shut if they know you're 5 seconds away from entering. Whether it is male or female I dont care - it just shows a lack of respect.

Whilst I dont expect a man to offer me a seat, it is a nice gesture, especially if it saves you attempting to balance for 30 minutes on a fast moving vehicle wearing heels!

 

[Bee]

Originally posted by The Hitman


They're just trying to check out your arse.
The Hitman

Hmmmph! That's what other people have told me! Got me paranoid now.