Dumbest crimes thread

[JUBJUB]

I thought I'd start this thread where you can post some of the dumbest crimes commited.They can be current or old stories.

Here is one that happened in the carpark of Belmont [Geelong] Kmart carpark on saturday.A woman was leaving a parking spot when an old guy stopped her.She would down the window and he suddenly produced a knife and carjacked her.He then drove a short distance and then stopped to load some bags.The reason he was caught - he uses a walking frame so he was so slow loading the bags that he got caught

http://www.geelongadvertiser.com.au/article/2013/06/25/367858_news.html

 

[Selective Retention]

There was one in the radio news today.

Some guy apparently demanded money from a bakery, saying he was armed.

The woman refused to give him anything.

So the guy decided to order a meal, pay for it, and leave.....

Someone has to have made that up! The clincher would have been if he used EFTPOS to pay! If it's actually true maybe he is going to play the "it was a joke" defence or something

Edit: link

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/la...o-hand-over-cash/story-fni0fee2-1226669010120

 

[JUBJUB]

I remember a funny crime that happen a few years ago near where I live.There use to be a service station next door to the Corio Bay Roadhouse and one day a guy who I went to primary school with years earlier with and lived a couple of blokes away from the servo decided to rob it.Not being that bright an hour later he goes back to the servo to buy a drink.Well guess what,the cops were still there investigating and the idiot was still wearing the same clothes.The attendant recognised him straight away.BUSTED !!!


and of course who could forget this bloke [or really ugly chick] trying to rob the Lara servo last year

http://www.news.com.au/national-new...-service-station/story-fndo4cq1-1226458564571

 

[Catfish Alley]

There was one in the radio news today.

Some guy apparently demanded money from a bakery, saying he was armed.

The woman refused to give him anything.

So the guy decided to order a meal, pay for it, and leave.....

Someone has to have made that up! The clincher would have been if he used EFTPOS to pay! If it's actually true maybe he is going to play the "it was a joke" defence or something

Edit: link

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/la...o-hand-over-cash/story-fni0fee2-1226669010120

I remember reading a case like that. I believe a guy was robbing a liquor store in the States. The cashier said she still couldn't serve him without seeing ID. So, he showed his drivers license, she made note of it and then gave him a bunch of cash. Police knocked on his door not long afterwards

 

[vast]

There was one in the radio news today.

Some guy apparently demanded money from a bakery, saying he was armed.

The woman refused to give him anything.

So the guy decided to order a meal, pay for it, and leave.....

Someone has to have made that up! The clincher would have been if he used EFTPOS to pay! If it's actually true maybe he is going to play the "it was a joke" defence or something

Edit: link

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/la...o-hand-over-cash/story-fni0fee2-1226669010120

Jim from Hawthorn?

 

[Sterge]

When we were in year 8 or so some of the year 12's decided to rob the milk bar literally 100m from the school on lunch break......Still in their uniforms.

Didn't take long to catch those blokes.


And not so much a dumb crime but just stupidity from criminals

2 blokes jumped my brother in Perth for no reason one night then while he was on the ground and they are about to run off one tells the other one to take his phone and wallet so when the bloke goes in for the phone my brother booted him in the face and broke his nose, blokes decided it would be a smart idea to pursue charges or sue for his broken nose.....

 

[Illinois Nazi]

http://listverse.com/2007/09/06/top-10-stupidest-thieves/

I remember reading about "Clive Bunyan" when I was a kid. For some reason I've always remembered the name.

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

A barrister friend of mine once told me that in his professional view, a master criminal was someone who wore gloves.

nb - not like the gloves purportedly worn by Ozzy Osbourne pre Black Sabbath days which were so old that the fingers had worn through causing him to leave his prints behind at a burgulary

 

[Smell The Glove]

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

nb - not like the gloves purportedly worn by Ozzy Osbourne pre Black Sabbath days which were so old that the fingers had worn through causing him to leave his prints behind at a burgulary

It is slightly worse than that:
The great Ozzy spent two months in Winson Green prison in his native Birmingham in the late 1960s after being found guilty of burglary. “My mate told me to wear gloves,” he later explained. “I didn’t understand, so I took fingerless ones like milkmen use...”

http://www.virginmedia.com/music/pictures/toptens/ozzy-osbourne-outrageous-stories.php?ssid=4

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

Getting drunk and getting your 7 year old drive you home, at night, with no headlights?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-07-03/man-pleads-guilty-over-letting-7yo-son-drive/4796296

 

[Truckosaurus]

Man walks past marked police car to get into a gun shop, which he then tries to hold-up.

 

[CAS79]

Classic from Brisbane on Sunday. Bloke car jacks a taxi assaulting the driver, drives off without disabling the Taxi’s GPS.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/...8217s-gps-system/story-fnihsrf2-1226675562565

 

[JUBJUB]

Funny story of dumb crims on Nine News tonight.A couple took 3 kittens into an animal shelter.They leave and go to their car,only for the boyfriend to return as the girlfriend had left her bag inside the shelter.Boyfriend returns running to the car with a rather bulging bag.
Later discovered a puppy is missing.Let's go to the security tape - BANG,there they are on TV.Just to prove they aren't the brightest crims they left their names,address and phone number when dropping off the kittens.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

When I was in high school some kid nicked the keys from the vice principal's desk. That night he went into the school and stole the petty cash (can't have been much more than $100). He was caught the next morning trying to put the keys back on the VP's desk.
Clever was not an adjective used often at that school.

 

[The Old Dark Navy's]

Man steals woman's smartphone, then accidentally posts photo of himself to her facebook account.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/technology/2013/08/06/08/47/smartphone-thief-outs-himself-facebook

 

[CAS79]

Report a stolen ute, claim the insurance, get busted with it buried in your back yard

Where else but Queensland

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/que...in-owners-backyard-police-20130807-2re75.html

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

Report a stolen ute, claim the insurance, get busted with it buried in your back yard

Where else but Queensland

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/que...in-owners-backyard-police-20130807-2re75.html

why wouldn't you just push it into a lake? or torch it?

 

[Sterge]

why wouldn't you just push it into a lake? or torch it?

More to the point who is the member of the public tipping them off after 5 years.....how does that even come up in conversation

'you know the ute I got insurance for 5 years ago'
'yeah?'
'buried in me backyard'
Dials 000

 

[BACCS]

I reckon this would be up there:
http://www.smh.com.au/world/facebook-murder-confession-posted-with-photo-of-body-20130809-2rlos.html

It was a chilling Facebook confession that began with the words "I'm going to prison".

After shooting his wife dead in their South Miami townhouse, Derek Medina, 31, posted a photo of her bloodied body to the social networking site and explained to his online friends why he had to shoot her.

In one of two shocking posts made on Thursday morning local time, Medina said that his wife, Jennifer Alfonso, had been punching him and he was "not going to stand anymore".

 

[lewigie]

I thought the photo in the article was the one he uploaded to the Internet, and his wife was dead in it!

I was thinking gee, she's in good nick. Weekend in Bernie's?

 

[Sterge]

I reckon this would be up there:
http://www.smh.com.au/world/facebook-murder-confession-posted-with-photo-of-body-20130809-2rlos.html

That's not really dumb though more like hey everyone look how many ****s I give

 

[the 5th wiggle]

2 Victorians went to tassie on the spirit a couple of months ago,bought an old car for $900 and set of to a very small country town of a couple of hundred people to rob an Iga supermarket which someone told them had 1million in the safe(that's funny).they went in just after closing and had a knife but left it in the car,they bashed the poor owner and left him tied up.off they went with their big haul of $8000 and set off back to launceston on the only road out,unfortunately for them the piece of shit car they bought overheated and left them stranded,eventually they got a lift but by then police had set up road blocks and they were caught.

 

[CAS79]

2 Victorians went to tassie on the spirit a couple of months ago,bought an old car for $900 and set of to a very small country town of a couple of hundred people to rob an Iga supermarket which someone told them had 1million in the safe(that's funny).they went in just after closing and had a knife but left it in the car,they bashed the poor owner and left him tied up.off they went with their big haul of $8000 and set off back to launceston on the only road out,unfortunately for them the piece of shit car they bought overheated and left them stranded,eventually they got a lift but by then police had set up road blocks and they were caught.

Here's the link

http://www.examiner.com.au/story/1706491/jail-terms-for-bungling-robbers/

The town was Branxholm..... I'm surprised it had 8K, it's a hamlet in the forest.

 

[ep2018]

When we were in year 8 or so some of the year 12's decided to rob the milk bar literally 100m from the school on lunch break......Still in their uniforms.

Some students at my end of year river cruise thought it'd be funny to steal a couple of bottle of wine from the kitchen. On a ****ing boat.