dwayne ****head russel

[apollo_creed]

The commentators were discussing their favourite movies.

“My favourite movie is 'AS GOOD AS IT GETS'!” screamed Dwayne Russell. “It was UNBELIEVABLE!”
“How did you feel after watching it?” asked Andy Maher. “Describe the feeling. How did you feel?”
“It's enough to make a GROWN MAN CRY!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “Can Jack Nicholson do romantic comedies? YOU BET HE CAN!”

“I know how much you like romantic comedies, Dwayne,” said Matthew Lloyd. “Have you seen the Adam Sandler movie, 30 First Dates?”
“IS THAT 50?” shouted Dwayne Russell.
“You're right, I meant 50 First Dates,” said Matthew Lloyd. “Did you like it?”
“YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “It's a WORK OF ART!”

“My favourite has to be The Godfather II,” said Anthony Hudson. “Who would've thought the sequel would be just as good as the original!”
“You know Huddo, The Godfather II was directed by Francis Ford Coppola,” expert commentator Robert Walls remarked incisively.
“Oh, really?” interjected Sam Newman.
“Gee, it's a delicious movie, isn't it?” said Bruce McAvaney. “Movies like that are timeless, aren't they? They made a third movie as well, didn't they?”
“The third one was HORRENDOUS!” yelled Dwayne Russell.
“You just get the feeling if they made another five sequels, they'd be right back in this,” argued Bruce McAvaney.

“The best movie I've seen is The Sixth Sense,” said Bruce McAvaney. “Gee, I gotta say, that twist is so cleeveeerrr...”
“The ending is OUT OF THIS WORLD!” screamed Dwayne Russell. “The middle part of the movie is quite slow-moving. But is there a pot of gold at the end of it? YOU BET THERE IS!”

Brilliant again.

Can Sandy Roberts play?

 

[gimp!]

Brilliant again.

Can Sandy Roberts play?

Sandy, what's your favourite piece of clothing?

"Oh my hat!"

 

[Benno_900]

The commentators were discussing their favourite movies.

Disappointing that you didn't use Inception and "IN YOUR DREAMS!".

 

[PrideOf]

Top shelf stuff Those.

Although I would have added:

“You know Huddo, The Godfather II was directed by Francis Ford Coppola,” expert commentator Robert Walls remarked incisively. "It's apparently really good although I haven't seen it."

 

[Lensen]

Top shelf stuff Those.

Although I would have added:

"Although it's a bit slow in the middle, maybe they should give it a run in the ruck"

 

[Bell Ringer]

He's got form there.

In the Adel v Syd game a few weeks back, Derwayne had diagnosed a broken leg as Craig Bird was falling to the deck. Then Bird got up and walked off.

Had Dean Brogan dead and buried earlier this season (I think v Carlton), never to return to the football field.

Said to my mate that, after such prophetic words from Deerwayne, Brogan would contest the next centre bounce.

Lo and behold...

 

[Cotchin 9]

“You just get the feeling if they made another five sequels, they'd be right back in this,” argued Bruce McAvaney.

Hahaha. Love this bit, he says it all the time, as well as "belting forward/belts forward."

 

[Davo23]

The commentators were discussing their favourite movies.

“My favourite movie is 'AS GOOD AS IT GETS'!” screamed Dwayne Russell. “It was UNBELIEVABLE!”
“How did you feel after watching it?” asked Andy Maher. “Describe the feeling. How did you feel?”

Anyone read that in Andy Maher's voice & accent?




I think I'm going slowly insane ....



.

 

[KeithBlight]

Hey Those, I want to congratulate you on your superb posts. At the same time I want to thank you for answering a question I've had in the back of my mind since shortly after I joined BigFooty.

When I was a Newbie I had so few comments on my posts that I wondered whether, a) there was a policy at BigFooty to ignore Newbies; or b) my posts really suck.

Now I know my posts really suck.

Keep up the good work!

 

[Toshowyouwhy]

Hey Those, I want to congratulate you on your superb posts. At the same time I want to thank you for answering a question I've had in the back of my mind since shortly after I joined BigFooty.

When I was a Newbie I had so few comments on my posts that I wondered whether, a) there was a policy at BigFooty to ignore Newbies; or b) my posts really suck.

Now I know my posts really suck.

Keep up the good work!

Your problem was that you were probably too rational and informed. BigFooty normally only reponds to the deadshits, or in Those's case, comic geniuses.

 

[KeithBlight]

Your problem was that you were probably too rational and informed. BigFooty normally only reponds to the deadshits, or in Those's case, comic geniuses.

Thanks for that TSYW. But you've just depressed me even more....

You see, up until now I was sure I was a comic genius.

Dang!

 

[Toshowyouwhy]

Thanks for that TSYW. But you've just depressed me even more....

You see, up until now I was sure I was a comic genius.

Dang!

If in doubt, hang shit on Dwayne Russel.

 

[Those]

Great additions there guys. Particularly liked the Tony Shaw one.

Sharks On A Plane, Mick06 and Glenn_Ox made CRAZY GOOD / SENSATIONAL / OUTSTANDING posts earlier in the thread with "stories" involving the commentators so I thought I'd try it as well.

 

[Those]

The commentators were going for a drive. They were waiting for Dwayne Russell to find the keys to his 4WD.

“Gee, you're taking a long time to get started, aren't you?” asked Bruce McAvaney. “We should've left 20 minutes ago, shouldn't we? You just get the feeling the traffic will be heavy, don't you?”
Finally, Dwayne Russell found his keys. “And now I can get and go,” he said.
He put his seatbelt on. “Belts it forward...” said Bruce McAvaney.
Dwayne Russell put his key in the ignition. “That could be the FIRE-STARTER!” he yelled.

The road sign stated that Diamond Creek was 5 km away. “Diamond? That's a GEM!” screamed Dwayne Russell.
But a traffic jam had formed ahead. “That's a JAM!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “HORRENDOUS!”
Sandy Roberts suggested they take a shortcut down a residential street. “Shorts it,” said Dwayne Russell.
Of course, the residential street had a low speed limit. “IS THAT 50?” screamed Dwayne Russell. “YOU BET IT IS!”
“Now make a left onto Dickburn Street,” said Sandy Roberts. “Oh I'm sorry, I meant Cockburn Street. I'm really sorry.”
Anthony Hudson started giggling uncontrollably.
“HE PLAYED FOR THAT!” yelled Dwayne Russell.

Ahead of them, a large truck was having trouble driving down the narrow residential street. It clipped a Give Way sign, causing it to bend.
“BENDS IT BACK!” yelled Dwayne Russell. “ASTOUNDING!”
Then the truck knocked over a rubbish bin, causing garbage to spill everywhere. But the truck driver kept going.
“He delivers the KILL SHOT!” screamed Dwayne Russell. “He makes it somebody's else problem,” he added.
Crows and rats began scavenging on the trash.
“It used to be the early bird gets the worm, now it's the second mouse gets the cheese!” said Dwayne Russell.
“That is a disgrace!” shouted Stephen Quartermain. “He should never drive a truck again! That is unforgivable!”
“Maybe they should throw him into a smaller truck,” suggested Robert Walls. “Just to find some form, you know, get him into the game.”

Soon they reached Eastlink. Dwayne Russell accelerated onto the freeway. “GIVES IT SOME SHOE!” he screamed.
Passing by Ringwood, Dwayne Russell noticed the sculptures and paintings on the side of the road.
“That's CRAZY GOOD!” he shouted. “Everything they do is a WORK OF ART!”
Then Dwayne Russell remembered that Eastlink was a toll road. “That's one of the TOLLS OF THE YEAR!” he yelled.

 

[KeithBlight]

If in doubt, hang shit on Dwayne Russel.

Tried that.


No takers.





Hey, here's a tester. What about this for a comedy sketch?

Two guys are walking down the street. One is a bit aggo with someone who's just out of camera shot. He starts saying, "Are you tryin' to be funny, mate?".
His friend tries to drag him away, saying, "Look mate, let it go. He didn't mean anything by it." But the aggro guy keeps on with the, "You tryin' to be funny?" And walks towards the person.

The camera follows as he confronts a rather bemused clown.

 

[cammo84]

Those: you missed a perfect opportunity to work a Bruce comment in when the truckie hit the sign. "Goes BANG!"

 

[Benno_900]

Quality again from Those!

Hey, here's a tester. What about this for a comedy sketch?

Two guys are walking down the street. One is a bit aggo with someone who's just out of camera shot. He starts saying, "Are you tryin' to be funny, mate?".
His friend tries to drag him away, saying, "Look mate, let it go. He didn't mean anything by it." But the aggro guy keeps on with the, "You tryin' to be funny?" And walks towards the person.

The camera follows as he confronts a rather bemused clown.

That is so bad, it's funny.

 

[Tairy Greene]

Another great job Those, but I lost it at this;

“Maybe they should throw him into a smaller truck,” suggested Robert Walls. “Just to find some form, you know, get him into the game.”

 

[PrideOf]

Funny at first and they're getting even funnier mate. Gold.

Lost my shit at this though:

“Now make a left onto Dickburn Street,” said Sandy Roberts. “Oh I'm sorry, I meant Cockburn Street. I'm really sorry.”

 

[Cleavy]

this is my new favourite thread

 

[Higs]

Those has given this thread the shot in the arm!!

 

[Buzzasto DaSilva]

Fantastic read. Have read them in the commentator's accents as well which makes it all the more enjoyable.

I'm looking forward to the next edition nearly as much as Dwayne's next effort on Saturday.

 

[Flawed Genius]

One of the best threads on BigFooty by a considerable margin.

 

[Drummond]

“He delivers the KILL SHOT!” screamed Dwayne Russell. “He makes it somebody's else problem,” he added.
Crows and rats began scavenging on the trash.

There she is!

 

[kerrazy]

it would be awesome if someone recorded the actual voices of dwayne from the game and make a story out of it like Those and put it on youtube.