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Life Tricks

  • Thread starter Thread starter ClarkeM
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Beerpig said:
Alternatively, put the ticket on the car behind yours and hope they don't check the rego before paying.
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No do it the other way. Put their ticket on your car. Then parking officer will think that you've already been fined.
 

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Catsmaninamerica said:
Hungry and broke? Drive through Maccas and tell them you didn't get the qtr pounder in your order, you're furious, his happened last time as well but you don't realise till you got home and you want to See the f Ing manager. Qtr Pounder will arrive quickly.
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Free Maccas used to work this way, not sure now, haven’t done it in years.

Go to drive-thru during peak time (has to be a line of cars)

Has to be a two window drive-thru (one where you pay, another where you collect order)

Get to speaker and tell them shit, sorry, I forgot my wallet. There’s cars lined up behind you so you have to just drive through.

First window will wave you by, the idiot who forgot his wallet.

Stop at second window, they’ll hand you the order for the car behind you (you’re just the next car in the line as far as they’re concerned).

Drive off, enjoy meal.

Only thing is you’re at the mercy of the other bloke, you get whatever they ordered. But shit, it’s free. Did it a few times with a mate, if it’s peak hour you’ll generally get at least one meal, usually more.
 
Bunk Moreland said:
Free Maccas used to work this way, not sure now, haven’t done it in years.
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When I worked at McDonalds (fun times) and that happened, the order taker would say '*rego number*/*colour* car driving through' to the person at the other end to avoid people from getting away with this. Got the occasional person rather embarrassed about their cheap ways when they got caught out at the second window.
 
kfc1 said:
Am I the only person in this thread who can't see a difference between the 4?

I have no idea what knot I tie my tie with *shrug*
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In practice they give different sized knots and different levels of symmetry. Which knot should really depend on the style of the tie and the collar, and the size of the person. I use a Windsor with a spread collar. A narrower collar I might opt for a half Windsor or a Pratt.

Four-in-hand is horrible.
 
Beerpig said:
Want a free ride home after a big night, find a pizza shop, order a home delivery from your mobile, wait for driver to come out and get a lift home with him as he delivers you your pizza (if he's a good bloke you he will let you eat it on the way).
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Used to do this regularly as a young bloke. Would either have enough money for a cab or a pizza, not both. Pizza used to win out more often than not.

If you or your kids (particularly daughters) ever find themselves in a car being driven by an idiot or a drunk and you tell them you want to get out and they won't let you, tell them you're going to spew in their nice car. Watch how quick they'll pull over and tell you to gtf out. I used it once when I was 17 or 18, it was just something that came into my head, worked a treat. (of course if you happen to be in a stolen car, they mightn't give a ****)
 
Bored and drunk but don't know where the party is?

Just call the taxi driver and ask where he/she has been dropping off everybody that night. It is a little bit hit and miss...but hey, when you're drunk, it's worth a try..
 
ClarkeM said:
No do it the other way. Put their ticket on your car. Then parking officer will think that you've already been fined.
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I tried this at a BDO once on the Gold >Coast. Parked in a no parking zone where there were already a dozen or so cars with fines on them. I picked one up off another car and put it on mine and strolled into the showgrounds.

8 hours later I come back to car to find it missing and no other cars in sight. Tracked it down the next day at the towers.. Cost me 330 to get back PLUS an infringement notice.

:(
 
Bunk Moreland said:
Free Maccas used to work this way, not sure now, haven’t done it in years.

Go to drive-thru during peak time (has to be a line of cars)

Has to be a two window drive-thru (one where you pay, another where you collect order)

Get to speaker and tell them shit, sorry, I forgot my wallet. There’s cars lined up behind you so you have to just drive through.

First window will wave you by, the idiot who forgot his wallet.

Stop at second window, they’ll hand you the order for the car behind you (you’re just the next car in the line as far as they’re concerned).

Drive off, enjoy meal.

Only thing is you’re at the mercy of the other bloke, you get whatever they ordered. But shit, it’s free. Did it a few times with a mate, if it’s peak hour you’ll generally get at least one meal, usually more.
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Or, pay for the car behind you. Better vibes, man.
 

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Get a free Whopper by telling them you have a 2 for 1 voucher at the box. Sometimes you'll get it straight away but if they ask for the voucher start looking through your wallet, middle console and glovebox. As the cars start banking up behind you you just need to hold your nerve and inform them "it's definitely in here somewhere" and refuse to move whilst frantically searching and they'll just give it to you.

Save someone from a train ticket by pretending you can't find yours for long enough to allow them to jump off at the next station.

Honey makes a great ice cream topping.

Curry paste and milk makes a great marinade for chicken.

Roll a garlic clove in a piece of rubber hose to get the skin off.

Put your kitchen knives upside down in the block.
 
I did the pretend to have lost my ticket trick on a train in the UK once, it was the train from Stansted airport back to London, I'd lost my bankcard and didn't have enough cash on me for a ticket so just tried to blag it.

Luckily the conductor was a nice old bloke and let me off, was still pretty embarrassing making a scene on the train pretending I'd lost my ticket while rummaging through my pockets and my backpack trying to find a ticket that didn't exist while everyone else in the carriage is staring at you like you're an idiot. Not something I would do if I had the money for a ticket.
 
While living in Melbourne I once pretended I was an interstate visitor by showing my NSW driver's licence to get out of a fine for being on a tram without a Metcard.

Those change-only machines were the most idiotic idea known to man.
 
Plugger35 said:
I did the pretend to have lost my ticket trick on a train in the UK once, it was the train from Stansted airport back to London, I'd lost my bankcard and didn't have enough cash on me for a ticket so just tried to blag it.

Luckily the conductor was a nice old bloke and let me off, was still pretty embarrassing making a scene on the train pretending I'd lost my ticket while rummaging through my pockets and my backpack trying to find a ticket that didn't exist while everyone else in the carriage is staring at you like you're an idiot. Not something I would do if I had the money for a ticket.
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I always found in those situations that playing the dumb Aussie hick tends to work fairly well. Broaden the accent slightly, make it sound like you've just got off the plane. The English like this too because it reinforces their stereotype of Australians and they tend to let you off.
 
Oh, I tipped 9 in footytips a while ago and do I won a free whopper. I have used that one voucher about 9 or ten times now because the idiots don't ask to check.

Just say you have a free whopper for tipping 9 and they won't even check.
 

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Caesar said:
While living in Melbourne I once pretended I was an interstate visitor by showing my NSW driver's licence to get out of a fine for being on a tram without a Metcard.

Those change-only machines were the most idiotic idea known to man.
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I did the same thing with my NSW licence, except I never lived there.

Also if you are 17 in Victoria and struggle buying booze, get yourself a NSW/QLD/TAS/ACT/SA/NT/WA licence and go through drive throughs. They never check.
 
ClarkeM said:
Oh, I tipped 9 in footytips a while ago and do I won a free whopper. I have used that one voucher about 9 or ten times now because the idiots don't ask to check.

Just say you have a free whopper for tipping 9 and they won't even check.
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Even better, just print this out:

http://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/76986
 
Gough said:
I always found in those situations that playing the dumb Aussie hick tends to work fairly well. Broaden the accent slightly, make it sound like you've just got off the plane. The English like this too because it reinforces their stereotype of Australians and they tend to let you off.
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Yeah that's true, the Poms tend to cut you a bit of slack there thinking you're just a dumb Aussie hick.

It works even better in the US, I got pulled over by the cops when I was in San Diego for accidentally driving on the wrong side of the road, it wasn't really my fault as there was a lot of roadworks and detours going on there which made it confusing. I was actually living there at the time and had both a US and Australian drivers license and an Aussie mate of mine who had lived there for a while gave me the tip that if you get pulled over by the cops give them your Aussie drivers license and say you're just there on holiday and they will go easier on you than if you give them your US drivers license.

It turned out to be good advice as the cops were pretty narky when they first approached me in the car and then when I gave them my Aussie drivers license and told them I was there on holiday their whole attitude changed, they suddenly became really friendly and ended up just letting me off and told me to enjoy my holiday. The Yanks love Aussies over there, you can just about get away with murder there if you have an Aussie accent.
 
Silent Alarm said:
Note to chargers 09, move to America.
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I should point out that I'm exaggerating slightly there, wouldn't want to give chargers any wrong ideas.

Even Aussies would get in trouble for murder there but you can get away with a lot more. There were a number of times I got shitfaced in bars over there and made a complete arse of myself which would normally have you kicked out and roughed up by the bouncers but because you're an Aussie you can get away with it. They have this idea that we're all Crocodile Dundee types that live in the outback wrestling crocs during the day and getting blind drunk in the local pub afterwards so they just expect that sort of behaviour from us.
 
ClarkeM said:
Oh, I tipped 9 in footytips a while ago and do I won a free whopper. I have used that one voucher about 9 or ten times now because the idiots don't ask to check.

Just say you have a free whopper for tipping 9 and they won't even check.
Click to expand...
I just print it off heaps and heaps of times!!!!
 

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