Make up your own Cloke rumour thread

[Markfs]

Now that the Travis saga has gone a bit quiet, I thought it might be a good time for Bigfooty to start a few rumours.... Now you can't just say that you want to trade Cloke for someone. That doesnt meet the requirements of this thread. It has to be believable, just like all the other made-up stuff from SEN and all the other people who start off a blog or a newspaper article with those famous words, " I was just talking to a guy who knows a guy who says..."

So here is my try at a rumour....

I'm related to guy who sponsors the Demons Under 9 football clinics. At a recent sponsor's day, there was talk that Travis wouldn't be leaving Collingwood because he didnt want to spend his footy days without Goldsack and Woody. Evidently, he wants the club that he is going to to propose a package deal to the Pies. It seems we're going to get Colin Silvea and Brent Moloney as part of the deal.

 

[RuFiO]

Now that the Travis saga has gone a bit quiet, I thought it might be a good time for Bigfooty to start a few rumours.... Now you can't just say that you want to trade Cloke for someone. That doesnt meet the requirements of this thread. It has to be believable, just like all the other made-up stuff from SEN and all the other people who start off a blog or a newspaper article with those famous words, " I was just talking to a guy who knows a guy who says..."

So here is my try at a rumour....

I'm related to guy who sponsors the Demons Under 9 football clinics. At a recent sponsor's day, there was talk that Travis wouldn't be leaving Collingwood because he didnt want to spend his footy days without Goldsack and Woody. Evidently, he wants the club that he is going to to propose a package deal to the Pies. It seems we're going to get Colin Silvea and Brent Moloney as part of the deal.

Really? Shit!
How long have you known your source for though?
What about the other member of the Beaks? Tooves?

 

[Cory]

Travis has now started to get his morning coffee at a Carlton cafe instead of one in Collingwood How could he!.

 

[Markfs]

Really? Shit!
How long have you known your source for though?
What about the other member of the Beaks? Tooves?

OOps....I just rang the guy who told me the rumour and Tooves is going too. Thanks Rufio. Of course, that means that the Demons are going to throw in Jack as well. Evidently, he wasnt sure which Jack, but there will be a Jack thrown into the deal....

As for the sauce, I've been using the same sauce for over 10 years....highly trusted

 

[RuFiO]

OOps....I just rang the guy who told me the rumour and Tooves is going too. Thanks Rufio. Of course, that means that the Demons are going to throw in Jack as well. Evidently, he wasnt sure which Jack, but there will be a Jack thrown into the deal....

As for the sauce, I've been using the same sauce for over 10 years....highly trusted

Sure hope we get Jack Watts if your source is right. We could sure use a power forward if Cloke does leave!

 

[Travis bloke]

Hello Guys i have it on good authority that Travis is going no where.He is happy to stay at Collingwood its papa Cloke taht is pushingb the issue.

The pies new he would drag it out till year's end and the club put a stop to it.

 

[Markfs]

Hello Guys i have it on good authority that Travis is going no where.He is happy to stay at Collingwood its papa Cloke taht is pushingb the issue.

The pies new he would drag it out till year's end and the club put a stop to it.

Not bad....but not very believable. The spelling is bad for credibillllaty...... As for Travis going no where.....well, it's not that creative

btw ..thank you for your story. The judges will be in touch with you

 

[beez]

I actually know for a fact that this whole Cloke saga is one big ruse. Chief had been going through the Bigfooty books and realised the revenue was down and needed to come up with something to get the clicks a coming. Now given he's a Carlton supporter, what better way to derail the arch rival's season than an in-house dispute? We all know how much we love going over to the Carlton board and watching them implode.

So Chief in his infinite wisdom used his powers that be to convince Trav, Bucks and Walshy to carry on with the joke with a promise that from every 10 clicks on a Cloke related thread, he would use half the revenue to update the Bigfooty server and half would be donated to the Peter MacCallum Cancer Centre.

He's not going anywhere guys

 

[Ketchup]

Just spoke to Nic Nat's mum, who told me that Nic Nat spoke to welly being close WA mates who spoke to buddy since they live together who just got off the phone with jeffy garlett being cousins and all and that Cloke is indeed off to those scum pricks Richmond for 1.5 mil a year for 18 years.

 

[76woodenspooners]

I found a notebook left behind in my local coffeeshop this morning.

It belonged to the CFC club psychologist.

It made for interesting reading. Cloke is under a lot of pressure from his Dad to get the best deal. His team mates and coaches are alienating him from the club. He's in a very fragile state. He's considering giving up footy altogether to go work with his brothers in their construction business.

 

[DJ Black @ White Blood]

I just got my car washed at the car wash this morning in Sydney and was having a coffee and overheard some NRL players talking and they were saying they could not believe that Trav Cloke was going to swap codes and play for the west tigers who use to be known as the magpies. I couldnt believe it so i asked the carwash guy who just arrived in Australia only yesterday and had a confused look on his face while scratching the crap out of my car while helping himself to all of my change in the ashtray, and he recons that they are now installing a Cloke room out the back for the new owner. I asked the carpenter who was building the so called Cloke room, or Cloak room and he recons its the new bosses office, Mr Travis Cloak, i mean Cloke and he is going to run a carwash chain in Sydney while playing for the magpies in the NRL. Well from now on im getting my car washed at the new CLOKE WASH every week.

 

[Markfs]

Just spoke to Nic Nat's mum, who told me that Nic Nat spoke to welly being close WA mates who spoke to buddy since they live together who just got off the phone with jeffy garlett being cousins and all and that Cloke is indeed off to those scum pricks Richmond for 1.5 mil a year for 18 years.

You had me until the 1.5 mil.... Richmond are broke, they can't afford 1.5 mil.....which means the offer had to be higher..

 

[KrakFiend]

I heard a rumor that Travis is going to stop playing AFL altogether, have his virginity re-installed, then focus on the real heart of AFL, posting on bigfooty.

 

[Markfs]

I found a notebook left behind in my local coffeeshop this morning.

It belonged to the CFC club psychologist.

It made for interesting reading. Cloke is under a lot of pressure from his Dad to get the best deal. His team mates and coaches are alienating him from the club. He's in a very fragile state. He's considering giving up footy altogether to go work with his brothers in their construction business.

I just got my car washed at the car wash this morning in Sydney and was having a coffee and overheard some NRL players talking and they were saying they could not believe that Trav Cloke was going to swap codes and play for the west tigers who use to be known as the magpies. I couldnt believe it so i asked the carwash guy who just arrived in Australia only yesterday and had a confused look on his face while scratching the crap out of my car while helping himself to all of my change in the ashtray, and he recons that they are now installing a Cloke room out the back for the new owner. I asked the carpenter who was building the so called Cloke room, or Cloak room and he recons its the new bosses office, Mr Travis Cloak, i mean Cloke and he is going to run a carwash chain in Sydney while playing for the magpies in the NRL. Well from now on im getting my car washed at the new CLOKE WASH every week.

These two scenarios have a lot in common.......coffee......both of them might be right....he might be leaving AFL to go to Sydney with his family to build bridges and play Rugby League

 

[Adz]

Melbourne Storm have offered him a contract he can't refuse.

 

[76woodenspooners]

I just got my car washed at the car wash this morning in Sydney and was having a coffee and overheard some NRL players talking and they were saying they could not believe that Trav Cloke was going to swap codes and play for the west tigers who use to be known as the magpies. I couldnt believe it so i asked the carwash guy who just arrived in Australia only yesterday and had a confused look on his face while scratching the crap out of my car while helping himself to all of my change in the ashtray, and he recons that they are now installing a Cloke room out the back for the new owner. I asked the carpenter who was building the so called Cloke room, or Cloak room and he recons its the new bosses office, Mr Travis Cloak, i mean Cloke and he is going to run a carwash chain in Sydney while playing for the magpies in the NRL. Well from now on im getting my car washed at the new CLOKE WASH every week.

Actually, that'd be a very interesting one.

I'm not convinced that Wests would make any sense though (alienate existing Tigers fans who'd be thinking WTF??? And nobody in Sydney knows who Travis Cloke is) But if you played it out with the Storm then you'd have a very interesting scenario.

 

[vjknight]

Hello Guys i have it on good authority that Travis is going no where.He is happy to stay at Collingwood its papa Cloke taht is pushingb the issue.

The pies new he would drag it out till year's end and the club put a stop to it.

what a stupid rumour. too fanciful to even be considered. stop reading tea leaves.

 

[Markfs]

Actually, that'd be a very interesting one.

I'm not convinced that Wests would make any sense though (alienate existing Tigers fans who'd be thinking WTF??? And nobody in Sydney knows who Travis Cloke is) But if you played it out with the Storm then you'd have a very interesting scenario.

This is absolutely right!!!... He wouldnt leave his friends in Melbourne....so the family isnt going to Sydney, they are staying here but Travis is going to play Rugby League..

 

[Markfs]

what a stupid rumour. too fanciful to even be considered. stop reading tea leaves.

...and not enough effort has gone into his sauce

 

[handy point]

I've heard he'll crack any minute now.... ... purple monkey dishwasher

 

[vjknight]

approaching the scale of this now

 

[SpongePie]

I heard from a mate who owns a dog that saw Travis in a park, that Travis' future self time traveled back to now to tell him to make a move to the Melbourne Rebels and forget about AFL all together, as they actually want the ball to be kicked out on the full often.​

 

[burtpies]

I have a mate who works at the Sydney airport who saw Tav arrive this morning. He was picked up by Mike Pike who had a book about Rugby, a map of Canada and snow shoes that he gave Trav. Not sure what that means but there it is.

 

[FIGJAM]

You guys are way off!

I actually do have very sensitive inside info, that

Spoiler

 

[Visions]

I have heard from a source who is very reliable (me) that David Cloke planned this exact scenario from the time he put Jason Cloke on the market many moons ago, leading Collingwood into a false sense of security that the youngest son could play footy and thereby knowing way back then that free agency would come into effect this year, he would enter a bidding war where he could drive the price up when Travis was signing his last contract. The reason behind the high price demand was that Jason, Cameron (as they were in on this knowing they couldn't play AFL standard) and Travis would equally split the money as collectively they might have actually been worth the 1.1 million dollars a year that is wanted (though this value for the three is highly debatable). Travis had in the last few weeks signed a contract with the yet to be announced new AFL expansion team Hobart Devils. Initially not knowing where Hobart was and upon finding out, he has tried to retract his signing (as he gets sea sick while taking the Tasman across Bass Strait), but Andy D won't have it and it will be announced in the next few days.