Resource My life is crap and I blame my football team: 7 short term fixes / 7 ways to look stupid on the internet

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

1. Do you watch football? Do you have a computer? Can you use a spreadsheet?

If you answered yes to at least one of the above questions then number one could simultaneously make you feel better and look stupid. The exciting part is most people will be unsure if which one and automatically default to believing some of what you say.

Put some names into a spreadsheet, colour code them if you can and then come up with some fraudulent ranking system that justifies anything you want to say. Tee off on the players you don't like and artificially inflate the importance of players you rate.

 

[Proper Gander]

1. Do you watch football? Do you have a computer? Can you use a spreadsheet?

If you answered yes to at least one of the above questions then number one could simultaneously make you feel better and look stupid. The exciting part is most people will be unsure if which one and automatically default to believing some of what you say.

Put some names into a spreadsheet, colour code them if you can and then come up with some fraudulent ranking system that justifies anything you want to say. Tee off on the players you don't like and artificially inflate the importance of players you rate.

You sound tense, Harvey

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

2. You have the answer. Yeah that's right YOU HAVE THE ANSWER and according to you we really want to hear it.

Please tell us all about how long you've been a member, that time you coached your child's u13's D grade team, and then how you solved the midfield riddle for the entirety of AFL football based off delayed vision from Kayo and the commentary of Leigh Montana.

Don't be ashamed about plagiarism, claim every insight as your own or just add some insignificant add on and use that as the basis of your claim of some heightened understanding of the game.

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

You sound tense, Harvey

Stay tuned I'm only on my second beet.

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

3. Your feelings are important.

So you are embarrassed about how your team performed on the weekend?

That's not your fault right? You have absolutely zero responsibility in how you react to the world. It's everybody else's fault you feel the way you do.

 

[Karanicolas]

3. Your feelings are important.

So you are embarrassed about how your team performed on the weekend?

That's not your fault right? You have absolutely zero responsibility in how you react to the world. It's everybody else's fault you feel the way you do.

Being reading some Meditations this morning?

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Stay tuned I'm only on my second beet.

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

Being reading some Meditations this morning?

I don't know what that means

We all know how beetroot affects me.

 

[koshari]

I don't know what that means

We all know how beetroot affects me.

Makes a good hamburger though

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

4. My financial contribution to the club and the AFL as a whole is so important.

My 3 game membership entitles me to call out Baldrick and his terrible foot skills as well as anyone he is related to and anything they have ever done.

AKA: I didn't pay attention at school and Steve McAverage Kick earns 100's of thousands of dollars whilst I earn minimum wage and my wife/husband is not very attractive.

 

[koshari]

1. Do you watch football? Do you have a computer? Can you use a spreadsheet?

If you answered yes to at least one of the above questions then number one could simultaneously make you feel better and look stupid. The exciting part is most people will be unsure if which one and automatically default to believing some of what you say.

Put some names into a spreadsheet, colour code them if you can and then come up with some fraudulent ranking system that justifies anything you want to say. Tee off on the players you don't like and artificially inflate the importance of players you rate.

I resemble that comment...

Except the spreadsheet bit. Well ok i use a lot of spreadsheets but mostly for spraying herbicideds and managing home brew ( not on the same soreadsheet fwiw...). Even have one with calculations to make a tracking table for a telescope on the 38 degree latitude.

And i dont need any of them to pump up mr pink.

 

[Samsquanch]

I resemble that comment...

Except the spreadsheet bit. Well ok i use a lot of spreadsheets but mostly for spraying herbicideds and managing home brew ( not on the same soreadsheet fwiw...). Even have one with calculations to make a tracking table for a telescope on the 38 degree latitude.

And i dont need any of them to pump up mr pink.

Do you use vlookup Kosh?

 

[koshari]

Do you use vlookup Kosh?

I do. Took me ages to figure it out but its a great tool. Concatenate goes alright as well.

 

[Flawed Genius]

Thread of the year

 

[ansonholt]

What's happened to numbers 5, 6 and 7? I don't like being kept in suspense.

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

What's happened to numbers 5, 6 and 7? I don't like being kept in suspense.

If you don't like suspense you've turned into the wrong channel

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

5. Sack someone.

Literally anyone just be strong in your conviction.

Evidence is a four letter word that rhymes with "I have no idea what you're talking about "

Things aren't going well and if you're more educated than I am, I hold.you responsible.

 

[TennisPlayerAndy]

Thread of the decade.

FTFY.

 

[Proper Gander]

You know the reason I’m here, Harvey, is that I put you on follow in 2020 or whatever and I’ve somehow never changed that setting.

I don’t regret it one bit. Headless should have done the same

 

[Ball Dont Lie]

Spent all afternoon setting up a macro for my spreadsheet that went back to the 82 draft and identified the trading of Bruce Abernethy to the pies as the moment it went wrong! If anyone wants a copy message me.

 

[TennisPlayerAndy]

Spent all afternoon setting up a macro for my spreadsheet that went back to the 82 draft and identified the trading of Bruce Abernethy to the pies as the moment it went wrong! If anyone wants copy message me.

Mine says that not offering Ben Schwarze a six year deal was the point of no return.

 

[Headless]

You know the reason I’m here, Harvey, is that I put you on follow in 2020 or whatever and I’ve somehow never changed that setting.

I don’t regret it one bit. Headless should have done the same

I literally did. Got notified of this very thread!

 

[Proper Gander]

I literally did. Got notified of this very thread!

It’s a belter, too! I think it’s the not really understanding where it is headed, which adds to the drama.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

 

[Ligma]

I blame Headless