**** my life

[haywood jablome]

Post your own FML and any funny ones from the site.

http://www.fmylife.com/

EG.
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finished she proceeded to tell me she already had a boyfriend and that his penis was larger then mine. FML

 

[J-Train]

haha. there's some good stuff on there!

I got a chuckle out of this one. Good old Mario Kart.


Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

 

[rizzo]

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

Hahaha

 

[rizzo]

Mega lol at this:

Today, I woke up with the worse hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriends two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

 

[BigBadCam]

 

[sblack]

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

Made me smile

 

[coke_zero]

very funny but could not get passed the 1st page hmm should post this on that site

 

[dUkez]

best site ever invented these are hilarius

 

[Docker Clint]

Post your own FML and any funny ones from the site.

http://www.fmylife.com/

EG.
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finished she proceeded to tell me she already had a boyfriend and that his penis was larger then mine. FML

Still a win, he's doing someone elses girlfriend

 

[Mr P@H]

http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/13325



Some funny stuff on there.

 

[coke_zero]

http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/13325

i dont think that would of happend.

 

[Swift15]

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the f**k up!". FML

funniest thing i've read in a while

 

[madcat001]

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

very humorous.

 

[danzan22]

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "******." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML


The best one i've read so far

 

[cats2rise]

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "******." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML


The best one i've read so far

havnt laughed so hard in awhile.

 

[Dont be a lemon]

Mega lol at this:

Today, I woke up with the worse hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriends two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I call bullshit.

 

[Power King]

^I would've thought most of them would be bullshit? Still funny nonetheless.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

"Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML"

 

[Equus]

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

So many funny FML.

 

[blues4flag]

 

[Ben the Gooner]

"Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML"

That is ****ing amazing.

 

[Tigger Please!]

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I then preceded to apologize profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

hehe