- Mar 15, 2010
- AFL Club
Wow. I can relate mate.Ha ha ha it's funny isn't it. I came home one day and mine said we are done after 15 years of marriage. Completely out of the blue. Didn't want counselling, didn't want trial separation, just boom, we are done. Told me there was no one else but funnily enough she had had some quality alone time in Melb by herself two weeks prior. Within a month of her departure I find she was seeing her ex boyfriend who was Melb based.... hmmmm a little fishy but I was assured this wasn't the case. PPPpfffft yeah right! Anyway, turns out he was a prick so she ended that one and decided a lovely man from the USA was the go. Went through hell with her convincing the 4 kids that living in USA was living in paradise and they all threatened to disown me if I wouldn't sign paperwork for them to leave. At the last minute Mr USA had a reality check and said to her she can come but not the kids so that went to shit too. Now she's with a narcacistic sociopath who has brain washed her to the point all the kids bar one have left her to live with me and have disowned her. The youngest one will make the move too shortly I'd say.
It's funny, you think you know someone and are convinced they are as committed to you as you are to them but they can just leave it all so easily. I put it down to a midlife crisis for her.
Anyway, worked out for the best. I am with a top lady now and we have a great life together. Wouldn't have the ex back if you gave me 40 million dollars.
It wasn't unusal for my ex to be up early & before me so I got woken up as she was rummaging through her jewellery box on the drawers in our bedroom one morning. As I pretty much always was, I was happy I got to see her before she left for work, so happily said goodmorning... I thought it was weird that she ignored me & rushed out of the room. A few minutes later she came in, sat on the end of the bed & coldly (no tears, no emotion at all actually) said she was staying at a friends that night as she "needed some space". That was the lasting memory she has now left despite 13 & a half years prior to that. Unfortunately that moment is the first & last thing that flashes up when I think about her now. Not our wedding day. Not our first kiss. Not her smile or her eyes. That cold, dead, emotionless look. The complete lack of caring for the person who, at that point, would have literally done anything for her & had no idea how she really felt.
Looking back I should've seen the warning signs but didn't. Her's was a bit of a mid-life crisis too I reckon. She was drinking more, going out more, not wanting to hang around with me, she got tattoos without even mentioning anything beforehand, joined roller derby & started a whole new life with new people before even having the courage to face her old life & end things properly. It got too hard for her & rather than face her/our issues she ran away. That is what she always did. Ran away when it got too hard. She was a spoilt child growing up & always got what she wanted. That transferred into adulthood. Unfortunately she chose wrong (IMO) & hurt the ond person who stood by her through her own depression, anxiety, work stress & other health issues. When I needed her she turned her back on me & never even looked back to make sure I was ok in the end.
I know she could have handled it a hell of a lot better. I deserved a little more respect for all the years I gave to her. On the flip side, I'm proud of how I handled (& still handle) it.
On the rare occassion I have to talk to her she now tries to use one of my nicknames & seemingly wants to be mates. Having known each other for about 15-20 years now & coming from the same country area, we have alot of mutual friends etc which makes it a bit harder but ultimately she is not the same person I fell in love with, married & loved unconditionally. Even today I still love my beautiful, smart, funny, happy, amazing wife. I always will. She is not that person anymore. Unfortunately that person I loved is dead & gone & never coming back. I don't even recognise who she is now, nor would she recognise me.
Life goes on & I am now honestly content & happy with that & excited about the future.