Quotable Quotes - AFL Style

[Sttew]

I heard this rip-snorter of a quote on Melbourne radio this morning:

"I wish we could go back to football in the 70's, when WADA & ASADA was a law firm in the western suburbs". Ross Stevenson, 3AW

This got me thinking. As a diversion from the controversy that has dominated AFL of late, what other quotable quotes about our great game have been heard over the years?

 

[Leather Poisoning]

"erotic substances"

 

[Jamurp]

"I couldn't give a rats toss-bag" - Malcolm Blight.

 

[Buddysbestfriend]

"Bogongs" - Jeff Kennett 2008

"what they don't have don't I think... is the quality of some of our players, but they don't have the psychological drive that we have" Jeff Kennett 2009

 

[Sttew]

http://www.sydneyforum.com/threads/funny-quotes-from-afl-players.83/

Didn't know that site existed. The first quote is a ripper:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Mick Malthouse - Collingwood

 

[Morris Major]

"delicious"

 

[Buddysbestfriend]

"big boy McEvoy"

 

[drummond2fevola]

"We just need to keep to our structures"

 

[Old M8]

"I'm shocked to be sitting here" - James Hird

 

[Morris Major]

"that's what i'm talking about!!!!"

honestly, i really loved that moment

 

[Bob Fossil]

"Yeah, nah"

Ben Cousins, circa forever.

 

[Max Power 83]

Didn't know that site existed. The first quote is a ripper:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Mick Malthouse - Collingwood

Some funny quotes there. I doubt any of them are real though.

I've heard at least half a dozen of those attributed to various other people from around the world.

 

[Ron]

"I'll take full responsibility"

 

[Sttew]

"I'll take full responsibility"

Source / author?

 

[Sttew]

"Judd, Cousins and Kerr are so lucky having big Cox" - was it Bruce or Sandy at Ch 7?

 

[tigers_of_old_08]

"Don't think — DO!"
John Kennedy.

 

[adey115]

Some of the quotes on that site are actually old EPL quotes - just changed to AFL names. Read them before.

Hence, let's just run with actual ones from AFL shall we....

Jack Dyer during his commentary years was fantastic - "Mark Lee's long arms reaching up like giant testicles" was pricelss, amongst many.

Straight from Wikipedia...
"Dyerisms"

Not the most articulate on-air personality, Dyer's malapropisms became legendary. According to press obituaries, he was responsible for such gems as

• "Yes, we had an enjoyable time on the French Riverina" (The Riverina is a highly productive agricultural region of south-western New South Wales) and describing the problems with younger players by saying that "All they want to do is sit around and smoke marinara".

Other moments include[4]

• "I won't say anything in case I say something."
• "Bartlett's older than he's ever been before."
• "Johnston missed one from the 10-yard square – it was impossible to miss that."
• "The only way to tackle Justin Madden. I don't know."
• "That's the beauty of being small – your hands are close to your feet."
• "Bamblett made a great debut last week, and an even better one today."
• "The ball goes to Marceesie ... Marcheson ... McKann, er ..." before co-commentator Ian Major interjected: "Actually, Jack I don't think Marchesani was in that passage of play."
• "Mark Lee's long arms reaching up like giant testicles."
• "It's as dark out there as the Black Hole of Dakota."
• "The goal posts are moving so fast I can't keep up with the play."
• And on World Of Sport, Dyer declared that Fitzroy had "copulated to the opposition".

 

[Despair]

"I had a salad for dinner" - Stuart Dew
"I drink 3 glasses of milk a day to keep my bones strong" - Gary Rohan
"You call that a knife... " - Nathan Lovett Muray
"Y'know me and Neeld have always had a good working relationship" - Brent Moloney
"I was pushed" - Jack Riewoldt
"I'm just knicking off to the dunny" - Wayne Carey

 

[tigers_of_old_08]

"You've got 25 minutes to make a name for your self, like you've never made before"
Alan Jeans, St Kilda's 1966 premiership

 

[galindez]

"Say that again" - Luke "Darce" Darcy

 

[port_adelaide_1870]

Don't let any team DOMINATE YOU- kevin sheedy

 

[Riccardo11]

"Jack Stevens" - every moron who can't be bothered to take 0.8 of a second to look at a Record (I'm looking at you, Brain Taylor!)

 

[_Christoh_]

The Ox is slow but the earth is patient - Mick Malthouse

 

[_Christoh_]

I think it was Graham Cornes who said - He is the best player with balls below his knees

 

[Holden Hillbilly]

Allan Scott - You were wrong!

(power coach williams after the 2004 GF)