Home & Garden Spiders can get ****ed

[ioppolo]

Bit of a delayed response, but it's actually a brown recluse spider bite.

Google it. It's foul.

Just Google image searched it, some of the results from a bite were horrible.

 

[c00lcat]

Great thread!

I wouldn't say that i am scared of spiders or hate them, in fact, i do find them interesting and somewhat cool... sometimes.

My rule with spiders, which they seem to ignore, is that they can survive just fine as long as they don't set up shop inside my bedroom, toilet or above the shower... all the places they can drop on you when you are defenceless. Failure to abide by this simple rule results in instant death.

When i was younger i never had any problem with spiders at all, until one decided to build his web (while i was asleep) from my bed up to my ceiling fan... which resulted in me waking up with a flipping hand-sized spider in front of my face in the morning. Any attempt to move, was met with a panic from the spider himself. It was just unpleasant for all involved. Lucky that one swift swat with my alarm clock sorted the bugger out

i would cry

 

[HSSB]

i would cry

I would commit suicide

 

[AG]

Funnel web spider in our pool filter this morning. So damn aggressive how they rear up to something 100x bigger than them.

 

[footy_4_life]

I know i am in Perth and they arnt suppose to exist over here but about 4 years ago we had a funnel web spider in the bottom corner of the front door.

Was a huge shock when it reared up and exposed its fangs. Kneeling down infront of it, it would be reared up and swivel left to right following which ever direction i would go.

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

I've told this story on here somewhere (maybe this thread).

In grade 7 science, we were outside doing....well something, when one of the kids found a spider. Started teasing it with a stick, until another kid said it was a "jumping spider" and we needed a longer stick.

So the first kid got a stick about 30cm long, and kept teasing. Eventually, the spider had had enough and 'leapt'....clearing the stick, the kids arm, and landing on his shoulder.

Mucho screaming and hysteria....

 

[Jesse Custer]

A few years ago i was getting ready to go to bed. When i was finished what i was doing, something told me to check my bed. I'd never done that before. Thats the weird part. Anyway, i lift sheet with the doona, all clear. Then i lift the doona on its own and bingo, a great large stinking spider hiding on the corner of my bed. Got rid of it and to this day i check my bed before i go to sleep.

 

[the emergency]

Funnel web spider in our pool filter this morning. So damn aggressive how they rear up to something 100x bigger than them.

shit, be careful of those things

the worst spiders are those ****ers that jump. impossible to kill

EDIT: beat me to it, Nesbit

 

[WakeUpPies]

Spider plan

If it is stationary = Cricket bat
If it moves slowly = Throw 2000pg chemistry book at it
If it moves fast = run like a ****ing bitch

 

[AG]

lol.

I used the umbrella stand this morning.

 

[Dan Moody]

Spider plan

If it is stationary = Cricket bat
If it moves slowly = Throw 2000pg chemistry book at it
If it moves fast = run like a ****ing bitch

I find shitloads of hairspray stuns the little ****ers like a tazer, then they're easy pickings. The missus hates this method

 

[Power King]

A few years ago i was getting ready to go to bed. When i was finished what i was doing, something told me to check my bed. I'd never done that before. Thats the weird part. Anyway, i lift sheet with the doona, all clear. Then i lift the doona on its own and bingo, a great large stinking spider hiding on the corner of my bed. Got rid of it and to this day i check my bed before i go to sleep.

I guess ignorance isn't really bliss...

 

[showdownhero]

Why the pathological fear of spider above other things that can kill you?

 

[DeadlyAkkuret]

[youtube]bRV4d9LCawU[/youtube]

Lmao I've seen that before. The daughter is classic!

"Daddy....careful"

*Daddy proceeds to **** it up and run away screaming like a bitch*

"I told you not to play with spider"

 

[BandF]

I know i am in Perth and they arnt suppose to exist over here but about 4 years ago we had a funnel web spider in the bottom corner of the front door.

Many years ago I worked for a company in perth that used to have all it's conduit & piping sent over from Sydney. Every 2 or 3 shipments we would find the nasty buggers hiding in the conduit. Killed heaps of them but who knows how many got away?

 

[jacqui9]

A few months ago, a friend of mine saw a fat black spider crawling up the curtains of her loungeroom. It was a huge bastard. She freaked, and her husband threw his shoe at it. He managed to hit it, but thousands of tiny spiders scurried out of it and scattered around the room.

They had the pest control people come in and she wouldn't go back in the house for about a week

 

[Marklar_33]

A few years ago i was getting ready to go to bed. When i was finished what i was doing, something told me to check my bed. I'd never done that before. Thats the weird part. Anyway, i lift sheet with the doona, all clear. Then i lift the doona on its own and bingo, a great large stinking spider hiding on the corner of my bed. Got rid of it and to this day i check my bed before i go to sleep.

My mum tells a similar story of my stepdad. Every night he would throw his jeans on the floor and every moring he would get up and pick them up and put them straight on

One morning, mum says, he got up and picked up his jeans and shook the shit out of them, which he never ever did. A fairly sizeable bastard scorpion dropped out on the floor!

Same house that we had also had some sort of huntsman nest...had tiny huntsmen just everywhere! Sorta got used to it over time, so now I can catch them pretty well in cups and put them out

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

A few months ago, a friend of mine saw a fat black spider crawling up the curtains of her loungeroom. It was a huge bastard. She freaked, and her husband threw his shoe at it. He managed to hit it, but thousands of tiny spiders scurried out of it and scattered around the room.

They had the pest control people come in and she wouldn't go back in the house for about a week

Nesbit Spider Chronicles #5

As a teenager, I come home from work, and see this HUGE spider looking thing on the back landing. After a few seconds to make sure it was actually smaller than my foot, I stomped on it.

Within seconds my entire foot was covered - to the point I couldn't see my (white) shoe anymore. I spend the next 10 minutes running around like a madman, kicking my leg out - somehow managed to rip my jeans off with shoes still attached, whilst running around the yard. (Just try it, it's impossible)

At one stage I threw my jeans away - a pity, they had my keys in them...the only way into the house.

I don't think anything bit me in the end, but it freaked me out completely. Now I just scream like a little bitch until my wife can help out.

 

[Marklar_33]

I don't think anything bit me in the end, but it freaked me out completely. Now I just scream like a little bitch until my wife can help out.

Theres a chance I'm the closest, geographically, to you right now, so I'll be round to collect your man card

 

[Tigerland88]

A few years ago i was getting ready to go to bed. When i was finished what i was doing, something told me to check my bed. I'd never done that before. Thats the weird part. Anyway, i lift sheet with the doona, all clear. Then i lift the doona on its own and bingo, a great large stinking spider hiding on the corner of my bed. Got rid of it and to this day i check my bed before i go to sleep.

I always check, better safe than jumping in with one.

Also have a similar story. Second day in Australia and went to the garage to find some of my dvds that had been packed away for moving. had a feeling i was being watched (no joke) so turned slowly round and in the corner of the roof was a massive ****ing huntsman, easily the biggest thing on 8 legs i have ever seen. cue standing on a chair with insect spray and got the bugger. dont think ill stand on a chair next time though, as since then i have seen one move close to the speed of light outside.

 

[the emergency]

I just sprayed a spider with Aerogard

It made it madder
and run faster

 

[Football God]

While putting my recycling bin out this fine day, i had to go back an collect some more rubbish from inside. coming back to the bin with the rubbish in my hand i open the lid and i see this big brown mo fo sitting at the top of the trash, safe to say i saw it as a surprise and got my big v8 juice glass bottle and piffed it as hard as i could at the prick, think i missed it tho, ahwell.. c***s going in the rubbish truck tomorrow

 

[Twist_of_Lemon]

Why the **** did I just read this thread at 1AM? FML.

 

[RequiemBlade]

Have a couple of stories.

Saw a medium-sized black spider on the ceiling last week. Every day I'd walk past it on the way to the kitchen and it'd just be sitting there. Today it was gone. Should have killed it when I had the chance but I can only hope it shows the same mercy

Few years ago went away on a holiday with the family. Came back and the ceiling was covered in thousands of small, white baby spiders. Freaked the crap out of us and couldn't sleep properly for a week afterwards.

 

[BarneyBent]

I was walking to the shops the other day, wearing thongs, and I noticed a huge brown spider on the ground, curled up and dead, right beneath where my thonged foot was about to land. Even though it was dead, I almost tripped over myself keeping my foot in the air and jumping to the side. Absolutely scared the shit out of my, and had my heart rate going crazy for a good few minutes. I really, REALLY don't like spiders.